User talk:Charlie The Man

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Why, hello there, <insert name here>! How's it going, friend? Welcome to my humble user discussion page. Feel free to leave stuff in here for me to read at your discretion. Day or night, 24/7. New article suggestions, articles you think I might be interested in (anything involving music or video games preferrably), your ex-girlfriends, you know... things like that. Or if you just want to say hello, that's cool too. I only ask the following few things of you guys, though:

  • Don't flood the page with meaningless spam. Eye for an eye if this happens. For dummies, yes. This means I will take out both of your eyes, and eat them. So if you like seeing, don't do it. ;)
  • Don't fight with other users, or tamper with whatever they post. Leave that one to me. :P
  • NO Pornography. For that matter, no Pornography, either.

And there you have it. Thanks again for stopping by. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

edit Award from UN:REQ

Thumbs up2

This user created Margaritaville, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)


MadMax 17:57, 30 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Under the Radar

I saw some activity in these here parts and now shining a torch in your direction. I see you are following the First Directive. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 20:12, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

edit Under the radar, indeed

Hello and welcome! No one on vandal patrol, including Romartus above, cleared your recent edits for 48 hours, so I just did and was pleasantly surprised. You have contributed useful grammar corrections as well as seriously funny new material. (A quibble: Years, months, and simple numbers are no longer made into links at Wikipedia, and we try desperately to mimic their style.) You should try your hand at a complete article! Below I'll attach my standard Welcome file; it might explain a few things, or you might already know them. Happy editing! Spıke ¬ 12:03 1-Sep-13


This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Charlie The Man/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke ¬ 12:03 1-Sep-13

edit CTM says Thanks

Thanks for taking notice, guys. I'm glad you enjoy the material. Granted, some of it's probably not my finest, but I'm glad that somebody not only sees it, but gets it. I've actually constructed like 9 articles of my own across the site, and I've been here for I think a good 3 years now at least. It's always a fun experience. lol... I'll remember the bit about years/months/numbers too for the future. Have a good evening. ~ Charlie The Man™ September 6, 2013, 5:15 am EST

Hi CTM. Don't forget to sign your posts. Welcome back.--LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:11, September 6, 2013 (UTC)

edit Pearl Jam

This article sucks. One reason it sucks is that, in multiple places, someone has typed, "(Editor's note: this whole article sucks.)" right into the text. If this is a big inside joke I'm supposed to understand, I'm sorry. I presume all the occurrences of "______ . . . ." is an inside joke, though they make the article look ugly.

You say on the article talk page, after adding the 10th album to the Discography, "Enjoy, erase, edit, whatever." My impulse is to erase--I mean the whole Discography--as I erase all the interminable lists of puns (even puns turned into links to other Uncyclopedia articles) wherever I find them. Lists tend to tell the same joke over and over again and attract anonymous editors who know they can't actually write sentences, and changing one word into a song title into a toilet pun is just too dumb to be funny, though that is not what you did, mostly. And this is one of the largest, except for one I found recently that was rendered in three awful columns.

Would you please consider writing paragraphs of prose that tells the story of the creation of these albums, and working only the best of the puns in as asides? Spıke ¬ 19:50 10-Sep-13

edit CTM Responds

Hey. How's it going? Re-writing the article has actually been something I've wanted to do for awhile. I just haven't come across an original idea for it quite yet. It [the article] wasn't created by me, so I haven't exactly been sure where to begin. I've just been making small little edits to it, such as the albums. Though, given some time, I am a hardcore Pearl Jam fan. And I can certainly make it work. I'll get something started offline soon, then replace what's there once I feel confident enough with it.~ Charlie The Man™ September 10th, 2013, 4:04 PM EST

You figure prominently in its revision history; and the only other Uncyclopedian who has worked on it recently is Aleister in Chains, a hard-core rocker but an only occasional presence here. Funnybony is vanishingly rare here but might also help if asked. As well as working off-line, you can also copy the text to User:Charlie The Man/Pearl Jam and see how it will render on Uncyclopedia as you work. PS--Please don't create section headings announcing that you respond; it looks self-important, like McDonald's TV commercials having names. Just indent your response to set it off from other people's posts, as I am doing here. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 23:52 11-Sep-13

edit Template:Infobox Band

Thank you for doing maintenance on one of our Infobox templates! Apropos of nothing, keep in mind that the function of Infoboxes here is to be funny and to look Wikipedia-ish, and we need to keep the Infobox user free to omit fields. The alternative, an Infobox that looks bad unless he fills out every field, encourages him to write crap, nonsense numbers, and tell jokes over and over again. Spıke ¬ 13:11 14-Sep-13

edit Lou Reed

I see you were doing some work over there. The article is largely randumbo but re-writing it looks like a serious job! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 21:56, October 31, 2013 (UTC)

edit Grand Theft Auto V‎‎

Much good clean-up here! But avoid the tendency to drop the word Gay (as in the magazine title). Ingredients in the story need to make sense in terms of the real thing you're writing about; not expected to produce laughs just by being on the page. Even Oscar Wilde and Chuck Norris can't do this with their mere presence anymore, sorry to say! Spıke ¬ 23:12 5-Nov-13

Oh, so "Gay" was a pun, my ignorance! However, giving the real magazine's name furthers the superficial seriousness that lets you crack wise on the deeper level. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 23:38 5-Nov-13

Now a pro-tip. If you would click not on Save but on Preview next to it, you can see how your changes will look. Press Save to write your changes to the encyclopedia only when you are at a major stopping point, of which there were certainly not 33 today. Happy editing! Spıke ¬ 00:07 6-Nov-13

A final note for now: Don't just list audio channels. Write text about the selection of audio, or expand this list beyond one-liners. Otherwise Anon will be in all night adding crap to your lists. We've been there! Spıke ¬ 01:27 6-Nov-13 PS--The introductory text was exactly what it needed. And Simsilikesims, who post-edited you, was right, that the list of actual songs wasn't needed at all. Spıke ¬ 12:24 6-Nov-13

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