User talk:Carlj

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edit Heya

Welcome!

Hello, Carlj, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Here are a few good links for n00bs:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or the use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automagically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  ~ T. (talk) 10:28, 17 May 2006 (UTC)

edit Some advice for you

Alright Carlj, I'm just here to give you a few helpful tips. I voted against your Milwaukee Brewers article on the VFH page, but dont take that personally. While on the page, I noticed that you're still relatively new around here, and I thought I'd help you out a little. First of all, if you want to sign your name on a vote/talk page/whatever else, dont just write your username, as you did on the VFH page. If you look in your toolbar when you edit, the button second from the right will sign your name and give a timestamp. If you want a custom signature, like I have, create a new page at User:Carlj/sig, and make your signature there. Secondly, before submitting a page to VFH, always make sure that spelling and such is correct. If something is going to be on the front page, it shouldnt contain errors. Thirdly, I'm not accusing you, but if you did vote for your article w/ those other accounts, that can get you banned, so dont do it. Lastly, I am a big sports fan, and I definitely found parts of the article funny (and true at times). I'm actually a Red Sox and Rockies fan (Rockies r second cuz they usually suck as bad as the Brewers!!!!), so I share your pain...Anyway, if you need any help or advice, feel free to contact me. Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN --23:34, 29 June 2006 (UTC)

edit Brewers Yeast

You've asked - so here's my opinion on what wrong with the article:

  • Lacks universal appeal. The article is too fan based for people from all over to get. Too many real facts for non-baseball fans to get without becoming over familiar with the real team.
  • Lacks irony. This is the one thing that will shoot down an article for me faster than a speeding bullet. The juxtaposition between what is real, and what is ironic about in what is real is missing. A baseball team full of its own players isn't funny; a "babes-ball" team filled with former pole dancers is funny, especially if they spear each other while running to catch a pop fly.
  • It isn't Pythonable. What makes Monty Python skits funny is that they take a real concept and then twist it on its side and find the humor in the concept that lasts through the whole skit. For example taking Government agencies, and twisting it to becomes the Minister of Silly Walks, and thus becomes absurd and farce.
  • Word play - I don't see it. We all know that a pun is the lowest form of humor (humour if your playing to the Brits), but you can use a pun as a hook and then build on that.
  • Timing of a seasonal topic. Other than this being baseball season, this type of story needs timing - like the play-offs - where you can build on a facts that exist - like when was the last time the Brewers were in the play-offs, won the World Series, winning/loosing streaks, etc.
  • Illustrations. A picture of a team mascot with a players name isn't funny. A good picture of a dude naked but for a barrel and begging for a dime (or a damn) has potential.
  • Fonzie Faye Dunaway said it best in Mommie Dearest: "NO FONZIE REFERENCES EVER!!!!" Fonzie wasn't funny on TV. They named "Jumped the Shark" after something the character did. No, Fonzie, ever, period.

I think what you can do, if you choose, is look for something that is universal, like the futile desire to win, the futility about Milwaukee in general, etc. Add something that would work add a level of irony. Staff the team with midgets or those with turrets, midgets with turrets would be very funny, especially if the only pitches they could throw would be grounders or nut busters.

I would also strongly ask other Uncyclopedian's for their opinions before you put it up for VfH yourself. First it helps you learn from others. Secondly, it builds rapport, If they think its has merit then you can move on to the VfH level.

Hopes this helps,

Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 13:04, 30 June 2006 (UTC)

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