User talk:Captain Pollution

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edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Articles are better if they contain pictures. "Thumbnails" like this one contain captions, and funny captions are the best.

Hello, Captain Pollution, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages that anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is devoted to comedy. It pretends it is Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create an article of your own. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Captain Pollution/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help out without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, there are ways to help out without writing at all, such as helping us organize stuff, monitoring the activity log for vandals, or even greeting other new users like this.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have our strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Decide to be polite, be positive and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • All the administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will be watching this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read it and tell you how to improve it.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice your addition.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke Ѧ 23:47 6-Feb-13

edit Steve Martin

It's nice of you to ask for someone else to delete that material from this article--that is, for confirmation by a second pair of eyes. It was every bit as crappy as you thought it was, and I did delete it.

Now, provided you justify your actions as you did, no one is going to have a problem with you doing the deletion yourself. In fact, as Wikipedia says "Be bold"--we say "Be italic": Much of the rest of this article fails the same rule (often described as: "untrue ≠ funny"), the bit about being a musician in a British band is out of the blue and at odds with the other material ridiculing his comedy, and it would be great if you could make the entire article funnier and more coherent. Spıke Ѧ 03:55 8-Feb-13

edit Dustin Diamond

We don't add {{Source}}s to mainspace articles; only to UnNews. I'll move yours to the article's talk page. I guess the difference is for historical reasons. Incidentally, please be sure that the article text offers some humor to the reader whether or not he reads the sources. Spıke Ѧ 16:05 8-Feb-13

PS--Oh, YouTube videos! Definitely don't put these in the article itself. Anonymous users do this all the time, and we definitely want not to be a catalog of all the amusement available elsewhere on the web. Spıke Ѧ 16:08 8-Feb-13

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