User talk:Bizzeebeever/3

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edit Biz, Put Me To Work!

Okay, Bizzee, I'm ready to come back to work now that my work work has abated. Thanks for the kick. So...what needs to be written around here? I have my keyboard, rubber gloves, sandwich, oil filter, meat grinder, and shovel all ready just like old times.  - Ratfactor talk 04:57, October 20, 2012 (UTC)

Well, Bill Clinton kinda blows dog balls, might try that...what? We've got no original sin? What is wrong with this place? Water is a fucking disambiguation page, that's a right controversy, right there...I mean, c'mon, it calls itself the "universal solvent"? The solvent of the ENTIRE universe? Delusions of grandeur, much? If it were up to me, I'd devote an entire website to knocking that wanker off his high-horse.
Oh, and it just occurred to me that there is no article on baseball-bat clown fucking. Seriously. Look at that red link. Fucking scandalous. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Oct 20 '12 7:21 (UTC)
Original sin it is, then! More to come. After that, perhaps water.  - Ratfactor talk 05:14, October 23, 2012 (UTC)
Oh God what monster have I unleashed...

I feel ...dirty. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Oct 23 '12 8:25 (UTC)
The Temptation of Adam is done. Next is The Erotic Rites of Eve!  - Ratfactor talk 05:03, October 24, 2012 (UTC)

edit Share

What happened to your share button. It was working fine and now its all halucinating and not rendering or something. Either it is tripping out on acid or theres a bug or something. Or maybe im tripping out on acid. Do you know what Im saying? --ShabiDOO 10:02, October 31, 2012 (UTC)

Works for me. Gimme screenshot. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Oct 31 '12 11:20 (UTC)


Maybe its just my computer. Is it goign to go global? --ShabiDOO 17:21, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
Yeah, it should've gone global two months ago, but I lost my Internet access, and I never got around poking TKF to make the necessary changes.
The bug you're seeing seems to be restricted to Chrome. If you sit there for a few moments with the share-tab open, do the little badges ever load? My version of Chrome isn't up-to-date. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Nov 1 '12 4:20 (UTC)

edit Waaaaaaah!

A few months ago, you deleted a classic and beloved page by many. I don't care what you think of it personally, a lot of people took joy in the humor of the page, and you've wiped it clean.

The action you five took in deleting this was a complete outrage, garbage work. This page worked on and beloved by many, with no other way of accessing it. It was one of the few enjoyable pages on this relatively crappy unfunny parody Wiki. Just terrible. Just terrible. Shame on you and everyone who took part Lost Previous Recap page's deletion. I know a number of others were greatly upset. I'm speaking out against your terrible work.The preceding unsigned comment was added by Disenchanted Reader (talk • contribs)

You find this parody wiki "relatively crappy" and "unfunny", and yet you love that utterly tedious and patently devoid-of-humor article? That says more about you than it does us. That article was given due process, and was weighed, and measured, and was found...wanting. Also, if you really gave a crap about that page, you should've been here to vote to save it. Nice way to pay attention to something you "love". ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Nov 8 '12 10:13 (UTC)
And if you WANT to access it so bad, here's your chance: . Thank you, please pull forward to the next window! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Nov 8 '12 10:17 (UTC)
I recall that discussion and I defend my vote. Joke's on you for spending so much time writing an article that was so little funny to the general audience. Spıke ¬ 13:50 8-Nov-12

edit Bugs on my watchlist

You might find the following curious or maybe even be able to do something about them:

  • Both Talk radio and its talk page appear on my watchlist as "Talk:Talk radio"
  • (Previously reported to Frosty): I continue to see "(talk|contribs|block)" after some user names (currently, only after an edit of Sinner George of 5-Nov; also an edit of Under user--but not another--also on 5-Nov). Of course, clicking on "block" fails.
  • (Previously reported in the Forum): The Firefox search bar (with "go" behavior enabled in my Preferences) fails when searching outside mainspace. Spıke ¬ 14:31 8-Nov-12
First two are MediaWiki issues (#blamewikia). The third also likely is, as well. I could hack something together with JS to fix the first two, but they will likely disappear on their own, the next time MediaWiki is updated, and will be replaced with seven other bugs.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Nov 8 '12 14:44 (UTC)

Thanks for the analysis. Don't bother hacking JavaScript; I am now on metered Internet and usually come here with JavaScript disabled. Am working around the third bug with a hacked-up local .XML file in searchplugins--though I have to search with underlines instead of spaces. Spıke ¬ 15:16 8-Nov-12

Metered Internet! I feel yer pain. I'm on dial-up, and all I can say is "Welcome to Hell". Also, make sure you have AdBlocker Plus or something similar. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Nov 8 '12 15:22 (UTC)

Mine is slower than dial-up. In fact, the local newspaper temporarily inserted JavaScript to refresh its Front Page every 2 minutes, and I complained to them that it was occasionally refreshing before it had finished freshing. PS--I have only one "block" legend on my Watchlist now; regarding an edit of two days ago, it is offering to let me block myself. And even that fails, or I'd be outta here. Spıke ¬ 12:30 11-Nov-12

Slower than dial-up? Seriously? Slower than 56.6kbps, or about 5 K/s? Slower than that? Dude, Dark Ages. What, are you using Netzero's free broadband that's capped at 200 MB a month? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Nov 11 '12 12:48 (UTC)

Occasionally slower than @#$%. I am capped at 1800 MB per month--I do archiving and upload photos somewhere there's WiFi. Am in my third month ($18) on this deal. It beats dealing with the telephone or cable racketeers. Spıke ¬ 12:57 11-Nov-12

PS--Am seeing the "block" option for all editors on my watchlist between 10:19 and 10:38 UTC today--them being you and Leverage--not before or since. Still tempting, but it wouldn't work if I clicked on it. Spıke ¬ 13:34 20-Nov-12

I've clicked yours repeatedly. Get nothing but permission errors. One of these days, maaaan. One of these days. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Nov 20 '12 18:56 (UTC)

edit Cabal

The formatting here is more horrific than mediawiki default. It makes my eyes want to bleed, but they already bled out on the default.

What did I come here for, again? -— Lyrithya 06:38, November 15, 2012 (UTC)

edit Hey you!

I'm too lazy to fix my sig at the mirror. That, and the fact that it's a mirror site generally conversation is at a minimum. But hello back. I'm pretty busy IRL at the moment. New job and all.

I was wondering if you could throw a little js my way. this and subsequent SGI iterations have a bundle of links with "Main" as the thingy. The links have common properties, so getting js to pick out those properties is fairly straight forward. The ideal for me is to have said js check the lik prior (does it come up with the wpDestFilename or whetever it is). If it does, then follow said link. wait 10 seconds, and then go to the next sewries of 3 links.

While on said link all the relevant details are already filled in. Once the page has loaded fully, then submit the form.

It should be fairly straightforward. I could work out the first part myself, but my ability to get the second bit done is outside of my js capacity. It may be better to add a bit to the URL like "...&invisiblepantyline=true" for the js to determine wether or not it should run. I can play with the urls myself - find and replace is a handy tool. Even if you just can kick up some code to "submit form 5 seconds after page completes loading" I can deal.                               Puppy's talk page04:38 17 Nov

Please do not ask for support for the mirror on Uncyclopedia, nor otherwise advocate it. It is not a valid project and is a violation of Uncyclopedia's license that serves only to pull visitors away from the main site. You have been previously asked to not do this. -— Lyrithya 05:57, November 17, 2012 (UTC)
Ask for support for the mirror ON the mirror. Pup is there fairly often. The admins here have a thing against the mirror site, even though I updated the site notice there to point to the real Uncyclopedia, so that visitors can find a site that isn't cluttered with so much VFD, rewrite/fix material, and FFW kills. The only visitors of significance to the mirror are generally spammers, and vanity/schoolcruft/towncruft writers, haven't found any new good writers there yet, but when I do, I'll point them here instead of the mirror. Uncyclopedia's license is CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 09:02, November 17, 2012 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost

Thanks for producing a new edition for a magazine that remains the only essential, all-in-one-place summary of what goes on in here. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:14, November 20, 2012 (UTC)

Thank YOU. And also, thank you for not noticing it is a completely fucked-up, not-even-current edition. You should probably tip your ophthalmologist better. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Nov 20 '12 10:15 (UTC)
I appreciate the effort BB, you will only improve with later editions. Keep it broad and don't beat particular drums too often and you'll be there. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 10:17, November 20, 2012 (UTC)
If I'm not in jail or dead by next week, then, like MacArthur, I shall return. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Nov 20 '12 10:19 (UTC)

edit USP

VERY very good job with the unsign post. And you did the whole thing yourself. I think you basically did a perfect job and you made me laugh. Some nice jokes in there. Put those to work on a super helarious article. --ShabiDOO 03:04, November 22, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Nov 22 '12 20:15 (UTC)

edit "Hello Back!" WesMan20

Yep, I've been away from writing for awhile - well, not totally; just from "newsy-type" stuff. I just got back to writing here and on my own site Very Real News[1] (still re-figuring out my wiki-coding). It seems you liked it (at least I hope so). How are you, sir? --WesMan20 BlackMan Icons-flag-us (talk) 21:14, November 23, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks! I hope to contribute a little more frequently these days (monthly or so - as opposed to my four year hiatus...) --WesMan20 BlackMan Icons-flag-us (talk) 16:54, November 24, 2012 (UTC)

Damn! I ordered 30,000. Oh well... ;-) --WesMan20 BlackMan Icons-flag-us (talk) 18:15, November 25, 2012 (UTC)

edit S'okay to remove the Listiness tag?

I've gone and removed those lists from the KOF article. The rules will be sufficient enough for the article for now, and I figure in the future just doing the teams will be all anyone really needs to know on the characters, should they be necessary. Would it be alright to remove the tag at this point? -- Hanyouman (talk) 03:31, November 25, 2012 (UTC)

Yeahhhh...won't hurt I guess. You did murder the shit out of those lists.
It's still very inside-baseball, though. Could be more accessible to morons like me who don't know what it is. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Nov 25 '12 8:10 (UTC)
Alright, thanks! Hopefully I'll be able to see what I can do about that. -- Hanyouman (talk) 20:42, November 25, 2012 (UTC)

edit Isle of Man

Thanks for the Infobox. Only, Area is a red-link, and "24.7k2" ain't an area. Spıke ¬ 12:43 25-Nov-12

24 square kilometers. I hate red links. You're welcome. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Nov 25 '12 12:46 (UTC)

edit My Rollbackz is broken

The last couple of days it has been telling me that the page has already been updated, and giving details as though the rollback succeeded. Feel free to edit my Uncyclopedia.js in case I am invoking stuff of yours that is obsolete or broken. Spıke ¬ 15:32 30-Nov-12

Any problems with the MediaWiki interface would be due to the MediaWiki interface, so long as you have javascript turned off. If you have it turned on, you appear only to be using my watchlist gadget, which doesn't affect rollback links. So far as I know, both my watchlist and my patrol gadgets are still working, and I haven't changed 'em. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Nov 30 '12 21:40 (UTC)

Yes. JS is off and it is probably the MediaWiki interface. Just thought you might have a line on it. Have you tried Rollback lately? Spıke ¬ 21:43 30-Nov-12

Ha ha ha ha. #blamewikia. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Nov 30 '12 21:49 (UTC)

I take that to mean it fails for you too. Now, when JS is on, do we know why RecentChanges is taking a long time (on my hardware, so long that the browser asks me if I want to abort the script)? Spıke ¬ 21:07 1-Dec-12

Yessir. The MediaWiki "software" uses a custom jquery plugin called .makeCollapsible(). This plugin iterates through every page element with the "mw-collapsible" CSS class, and fiddles it by looping through its child elements and toggling each one shut. This is fine for two or three (or twenty) collapsible navboxes or what-have-you. However, MediaWiki's developers decided they wanted to use .makeCollapsible() for EVERYTHING, including enhanced recentChanges, which can have hundreds of table-rows. That's just bad programming. Enhanced RC should, instead, use the jQuery .live() method in conjunction with special CSS rules, which work instantly on the load of the page. At the behest of someone else who has the same issue with it, I actually figured out how to fix the problem in the software. However, in order for it to get fixed, I will have to get MediaWiki developer access, and then learn how to use GIT and gerrit, and... uh... well, it may happen, it may not. :D  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Dec 2 '12 5:48 (UTC)
TL;DR: 1. It is MediaWiki's fault. 2. There is no way to fix it with user scripts. 3. it may get fixed sometime soon, or never. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Dec 2 '12 5:48 (UTC)

Management summary: #blamewikia, again. Presumably if you were allowed to apply your fix, it would either be countermanded or cease to work when we rush to the next great version of MediaWiki. I appreciate the details. Spıke ¬ 08:22 2-Dec-12

An update: Rollback now works--but still gives a message as though it hadn't. Spıke ¬ 23:25 5-Dec-12

Let me just make one technical thing absolutely clear: wikia are (is?) our host(s), while mediawiki is the software, and is used by a lot more websites than just wikia-driven ones. So the slow-recent-changes bug affects everyone using up-to-date MediaWiki software (including wikipedia). Meanwhile, the rollback bug (and the other bug which causes "block" links to show up even when you lack the permissions to block anyone) is, as far as I can tell, entirely wikia's fault. :D  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 6 '12 4:31 (UTC)

Also, for the record, my previous complaint about the JavaScript hanging my browser is not just from old hardware but my long-ago decision to default to 250 entries. Spıke ¬ 11:55 8-Dec-12 PS--Working around this with ?limit=50 is having a disastrous effect on my ability to see the big picture, explaining my congratulations just now to the wrong guy. Spıke ¬ 15:10 8-Dec-12

You might try putting the following into your custom-userscript file and following the instructions for refreshing your cache, although I will not guarantee that it will work:
if ( window.jQuery ) jQuery.fn.makeCollapsible = function() { return $( this ) };
This is a quick-and-dirty hack which may disable .makeCollapsible entirely, by turning it into a stub function. Should work, seeing as user scripts are loaded after all others. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 8 '12 15:22 (UTC)

edit Nice weekly news again

I LOLed. Thanks --ShabiDOO 05:21, December 1, 2012 (UTC)

No, thank you! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 1 '12 6:00 (UTC)

edit Right

Seeing as you're not on the IRC for me to bug you, if you could kindly read this blatant Monty Python's Flying Circus Ripoff, assess its quality, make any minor changes that might come to mind to make it either more zany or less high-school, and, most importantly and not least importantly, aid me in getting some images (which are described in detail within the little arrows across the page), I'd be ever so grateful and also award you with a large sailing vessel, bearing a hole in the hull in the shape of Albert Schweitzer's mustache. -RAHB 05:30, December 1, 2012 (UTC)

edit Awards

As I have been nominated for writer of the month this month, I stumbled upon the fact you nominated me for November too. Thank you for that, and for the nice wordies --Leverage (talk) 22:23, December 2, 2012 (UTC)

You're welcome! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 3 '12 5:47 (UTC)

edit House of Reprehensibles

You listed this userspace version on QVFD, then reverted a change by Anon. Did you userspace it for repair? is there anything good in it? When it was in mainspace, I used to link to it a lot, though we now have a correctly spelled version whose name is more likely to be typed. Spıke ¬ 11:47 8-Dec-12

It was VFD'd, and it got deleted while I was working on it, so I asked for a copy, and then I forgot to finish it, and then some twit-bot created a talk page for it (which is what I QVFD'd). Also, which correctly-spelled version? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 8 '12 11:50 (UTC)
House of Representatives, natch, which redirects to United States House of Representatives. Spıke ¬ 11:55 8-Dec-12
I believe you have misunderstood. The House of Reprehensibles is similar to the House of Representatives, but different, in that there is both a two-drink and a two-gun minimum. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 8 '12 12:00 (UTC)
P.S. You seem to labor under the misapprehension that Kamek wrote that three houses of China thing-place-stuff-whatever. He didn't, So So did, about six years ago. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 8 '12 12:06 (UTC)
I find the House of Representatives plenty reprehensible, particularly using the term "fiscal cliff" to blur the fact that taxes are about to be automatically jacked up, with the fact that the Tea Party Congress's only achievement (an imperceptible cut in the planned increase of spending over ten years) is about to take effect. On the two-gun minimum, I remember when President Ford came home to address the Michigan House, whose Speaker advised Members to "leave the Piece at home." Separately, my misapprehension would have been fed by Kamek's profession of his love for the source material. He certainly intends to keep listing that article as a personal achievement, also the other one that I rehabbed. Spıke ¬ 12:34 8-Dec-12
Don't worry, I hate newbies too. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 8 '12 12:49 (UTC)
Don't pick on my fetishes.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:13, December 14, 2012 (UTC)
Monkeytumblers. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Dec 14 '12 6:44 (UTC)
>.>--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 12:09, December 14, 2012 (UTC)
Mr. Pink - Now
 ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Dec 14 '12 12:21 (UTC)

edit Assembly language

I concur with you, but please look at the talk page, also the discussion at User talk:Romartus. Spıke ¬ 16:20 8-Dec-12

Ok... I missed the stuff on the talk page; I only saw retardation, and then assumed that Romartus had failed to look in the history, and was trying to be helpful by adding links and an {{AAP}} to a crappy page. If you want, you can revert me, or let Daniel Santos do it; I'm going to bed. (Yes, at nine in the AM. I need a life outside of mail-server configurating.) ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 8 '12 16:30 (UTC)

No, I concur with you! That is, you reverted Santos, as I wanted to do too, until Romartus stayed my hand. As I mention chez Romartus, I would let your last edit stand, and I doubt that Santos returns soon to complain about it, though he will when he does. Good night! Spıke ¬ 16:51 8-Dec-12

edit Eli, pulp heroine, dame of vengeance, and shining light for slick chicks everywhere.

Anon is surely SepticMeatball--Who else would know about the existence of an article with such a title?! and is covering his tracks, after deleting my compliments on his talk page and suggestion that he apply his talents toward actual "encyclopedia" articles.

On a previous theme, though Rollback now works despite an error message, it still fails on a page with only one change after its creation. Not blaming, just sharing data. Spıke ¬ 10:49 9-Dec-12

Ah. I figured it was another vandal. Also, Rollback has been working for me, with error messages, of course. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Dec 9 '12 10:55 (UTC)

edit You suck, fuck you, die.

You aren't the boss of me! Go get a life at Lifes 'я' Us, you pathetic faggot. I'm not doing your bidding anymore. ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia ~ Mon, Dec 10 '12 7:01 (UTC)

Yes, yes you are. You will deliver the Unsignpost every week, and then you'll bend over and let me take you from behind, as usual. Naughty scamp. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 10 '12 7:02 (UTC)
Make me. ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia ~ Mon, Dec 10 '12 7:03 (UTC)
Ah, Baby likes it when I play rough, huh? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 10 '12 7:04 (UTC)
I'm telling your mother. And then I'm telling the neighbors. ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia ~ Mon, Dec 10 '12 7:05 (UTC)
Mom's dead, so are the neighbors. You want to be next? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 10 '12 7:07 (UTC)
I love how you stole this both from Dr. Skullthumper's Famous Forum and an issue of the UnSignpost, and yet you don't have enough of a sense of irony to realize it's played out. You're derivative, unfunny, and dull. Also, your armpits stink. Go take a bath. CLEAN YOURSELF, YOU DIRTY DIRTY PERVERT. ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia ~ Mon, Dec 10 '12 7:09 (UTC)
What ^he^ said. 07:10, December 10, 2012 (UTC)
Shut up, both of you twinks. At least I have my own talk page. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 10 '12 7:11 (UTC)


Ok, how's this: grant me my freedom, or I will spam the site until I get perm-banned. Then YOU'LL have to deliver the UnSignpost FOREVER! HAHAHA! ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia ~ Mon, Dec 10 '12 7:19 (UTC)
How 'bout "no." ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 10 '12 7:21 (UTC)
Curses! You have seen through my empty threat. ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia ~ Mon, Dec 10 '12 7:22 (UTC)

Say, either of you guys ever find Tilda Swinton attractive? 07:26, December 10, 2012 (UTC)

I'd fuck her. ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia ~ Mon, Dec 10 '12 7:27 (UTC)
JESUS CHRIST both of you SHUT UP. You are spamming my email inbox with wikia's notifications of your bullshit. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 10 '12 7:29 (UTC)
Wow, somebody woke up on the wrong side of the Bitch. ~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) Beeverpedia ~ Mon, Dec 10 '12 7:30 (UTC)

edit Thanks for nominating me

Not sucking is one of my life long goals, its great to finally get some recognition for it. --Bill Melater (talk) 09:40, December 10, 2012 (UTC)

You're welcome. It's truly a noble goal. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 10 '12 9:43 (UTC)

edit None of your gadgets work now

Not the Unwatch button on Special:Watchlist, not the quick-patrol control on Special:RecentChanges, not even disabling animation (the to disable fade-in/fade-out when expanding a sublist). You are welcome to look at my standing orders and tell me whether I have added or removed spaces or done one of those cryptic things that make modern code "fail silently." Spıke ¬ 00:03 12-Dec-12

Mea culpa, SPIKE. I left a trailing "}" in here after I removed the test. It was a long night, I guess. To refresh just that script without having to clear your cache, go here, then hold down SHIFT and hit reload.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 12 '12 5:28 (UTC)

Thanks, but sorry, still ain't seeing it. Spıke ¬ 21:22 12-Dec-12

>_< Did you try an entire cache-reload? It's working for me. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 12 '12 22:41 (UTC)

Did now, and it still isn't. Might the sequence be relevant? Spıke ¬ 22:51 12-Dec-12

Shouldn't be, no. The scripts all load asynchronously. Look, are you sure you've got JS turned on in your browser? I just tested things with your configuration, and it works fine. Try typing javascript:alert( 'JS is on' ); into your browser's address bar, and then hitting ENTER. If an alert box pops up, it's on; if not, it's off. If it's on... I have no idea what could be causing the problem, except that perhaps your ISP is caching Uncyclopedia pages as part of some sort of crappy "web acceleration" for slow connections. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 12 '12 23:04 (UTC)

T-Mobile does install "Bytemobile" that claims to do something similar; I disabled it and tried to uninstall it. And the connection is definitely slow. Spıke ¬ 23:18 12-Dec-12

Yeah, otherwise I've got no clue, except that some new mediaWiki API plugin is too new for your browser, and is making it choke on its own tongue. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 12 '12 23:21 (UTC)

That is always a possibility. But I think I turned on all the bells and whistles last time at a WiFi hot spot and got good results. PS--The reason I am doing this at home is that I was patrolling RecentChanges. Would you please mark patrolled the 26 edits to Paul Rhoads? I've patrolled these edits and Romartus will talk to the user. Spıke ¬ 23:28 12-Dec-12

Zoom! Boom! Ka-pow! Done. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 13 '12 5:54 (UTC)

Thanks. The other article for which there were a lot of unpatrolled changes yesterday, you also handled--by listing House of the Dead on VFD. Spıke ¬ 10:30 13-Dec-12

Yup. Hopefully it gets killed. Also, I checked my scripts in Firefox earlier, and they seem to be working intermittently now. I have no idea what's going on, as Firefox lacks a decent console. Investigating. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 13 '12 10:46 (UTC)

The scripts also fail on the other PC that can run T-Mobile. I don't remember which PC I took to a Hot Spot last week, but it worked better, and they all run Firefox 3.5. (I have no reason to upgrade, including ease of patrolling RecentChanges.) Firefox's Error Console is on fire as Wikia and probably you are using syntax that's too new for it. But it's got Regular Expressions; I just needed to go back to read about how browsers use them. It's time to go somewhere fast today to illustrate a couple articles and I should have more data for you. Bytemobile is not just disabled but not in evidence; my problems may simply be time-outs caused by the slow connection. Spıke ¬ 11:14 13-Dec-12

Does not work now at the Library either, running independently of T-Mobile. More likely than time-outs is that Wikia and/or you have written stuff too new for Firefox 3.5. (The new MediaWiki surely changed massively, necessitating your workaround to begin with.) No problem, except that I won't patrol except on really boring evenings. Spıke ¬ 20:46 13-Dec-12

I'm relatively certain I haven't written anything "too new" for Firefox 3.5; jQuery is compatible with browsers going as far back as IE 6, as is importStylesheet(), so I believe that FF 3.5 can handle it. Still don't know what's causing the problem, but the intermittent failures in Firefox has me thinking that if you just remove the importScript() and put the contents of User:Bizzeebeever/scripts/recentchanges.js in your own uncyclopedia.js file (on the last line), it may solve the problem. Like so:
//hack for removing .makeCollapsible() from Special:Watchlist and Special:RecentChanges
if ( document.location.href.match( /special:recentchanges|special:watchlist/i ) ) {
	//ha-ha! Use your fucking technology against you, mediawiki!
	var stub = function() { return $( this ) };
	if ( jQuery.fn.makeCollapsible )
		jQuery.fn.makeCollapsible = stub
		mw.loader.implement( "jquery.makeCollapsible", stub, {}, {} );
	importStylesheet( "User:Bizzeebeever/styles/recentchanges.css" );
	$( ".mw-collapsible-toggle" ).live( "click", function() {
		var $this = $( this ), $parent = $this.parents( "table" );
		//toggle style class
		$parent.toggleClass( "mw-rcexpanded" );
		//toggle arrow symbol
		$this.find( ".mw-rc-openarrow" ).toggle();
		$this.find( ".mw-rc-closearrow" ).toggle();
		//squelch event
		//prevents browser from navigating to "#" link
		return false;
		} );

I'm going to do this myself, and test it out. If it solves the problem, I'll go with it. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Dec 14 '12 6:56 (UTC)

Seems to work now. P.S.: you don't need to refresh your entire cache for the site, just delete your userscript from Firefox's cache. You can use this extension for that; it should still be compatible with FF 3.5 ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Dec 14 '12 9:58 (UTC)
Patrol button is back, and unwatch button in watchlist is back. (Next time, just believe me from the start!) And someone fixed the rollback bug too. The wheels are back on the Wikia cart, just as it seems we are all about to jump off.... Spıke ¬ 10:20 14-Dec-12
I believed you from the start. I just couldn't replicate the bug. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Dec 14 '12 10:24 (UTC)
“Who ya' gonna' believe, me or your lyin' eyes?”
~ unattributed

Spıke ¬ 10:55 14-Dec-12

Gimme back my mustache, Chico. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Dec 14 '12 11:59 (UTC)

edit And now to get really nitpicky


Something is messing up the left-alignment of the timestamps on RecentChanges. Spıke ¬ 01:34 15-Dec-12

Pics or GTFO. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 15 '12 5:46 (UTC)

Widths of edit attributes ('bot, minor, etc.) seem to differ from standalone items to list expansions, even when running without JavaScript or images. In <img src="...Arr_.png"...>, width=12 is not the width of my monospace font, and alt=" " is thinner than &#160; which is used elsewhere. Spıke ¬ 15:00 15-Dec-12

Have no idea. They line up fine for me in both Firefox and Opera, and as this happens with Javascript on or off, I think I can safely say it isn't any of my "haxx". I would suspect that something they've changed in the MW core no longer agrees with your custom CSS. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 15 '12 15:38 (UTC)

Sorry to bother you; it does indeed line up when I turn off the CSS. Spıke ¬ 15:47 15-Dec-12

Cool. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 15 '12 16:02 (UTC)

Alas, although Firefox can display DOM snippets, it can't tell me which style rules caused a given snippet to be rendered as it did. Spıke ¬ 16:25 15-Dec-12

Try hitting CTRL+SHIFT+I and see if a DOM inspector pops up. You might be able to tell what is doing what, if it does. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 15 '12 16:49 (UTC)

Not in this version, unfortunately; only an error console. Spıke ¬ 17:04 15-Dec-12

Might try this. Says it works with 3.0+. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 15 '12 17:06 (UTC)

edit Sheep

Regarding Change Summary, I have to keep editing this all myself, don't I? I wish you would. See also User talk:Modusoperandi#Reverting negative comments from third parties. If that isn't what led you to Sheep, bless you. Spıke ¬ 15:44 18-Dec-12

I tripped over our article on sheep on, and then discovered that it's a pile of shit. Oh, and you also mentioned it on Mattsnow's talk page.  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 18 '12 15:47 (UTC)

I appreciate your work on this. Now, this is the season where famous poems undergo cheap knock-offs in order to sell two-year cell-phone contracts and perhaps I am oversensitive, but do you have any affection for the rendition of the Lord's Prayer in the section on Sheeple? Or even the section itself, as sheeple itself is a butt-hurt term for "people who don't agree with me politically, obviously because they can't think but only obey" and consequently nowhere near as light as the rest of the article?

Well, that's not some punter's lame rendition of the Lord's Prayer; it's Pink Floyd's "Sheep". (Depends on your opinion of Roger Waters' songwriting abilities, perhaps.) Now, song lyrics shouldn't be included in an article here (copyright issues, unoriginal work, blah blah blah) but I did find an external website relating to the song whose content is so earnestly stupid that it's hilarious, and without the lyrics, there's no reason to include the link. (Link's down at the bottom.) The section is pretty lame, I admit, but I figured it could be made to work, especially with a decent image. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 18 '12 20:45 (UTC)

I did not know that! Will leave that section to you. Spıke ¬ 20:51 18-Dec-12

PS--Have now read about it on Wikipedia and there could be a far better treatment of this than listing the lyrics, anyway. Spıke ¬ 20:51 18-Dec-12

Knock yourself out. I'm still going to photoshop a sheeple, but if you want to slash-and-burn that section out of there, be my guest. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 18 '12 20:57 (UTC)
P.S. can we tighten up the intro, perhaps move the part about sheep language to its own section? Also, in most of the commonwealth countries, I think the joke is that other countries like to fuck sheep. For instance, the Aussies say it about the Kiwis, the Kiwis say it about the Aussies, the English say it about the Welsh and Scots, and the Scots don't say it about anybody, because they have no room to talk. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 18 '12 21:16 (UTC)

Thanks, will do x2 Spıke ¬ 22:36 18-Dec-12

x3, in fact, as the paragraph on the science of counting sheep is moved to Sheep in science. I put your new text in a bulleted list. Do you think the {{Factoid}} adds anything at all, other than one use of {{Factoid}} and one use of an Uncyclopedia meme (asplode)? I'd get rid of it, but it would be better if there were a replacement factoid that were really funny. Spıke ¬ 22:52 18-Dec-12

A sheep with a bomb up its ass will occasionally assplode. Hur hur.
The sentence on "baa-harvesting"...that lame joke is actually mine, so I was looking for a place to put it other than under "population", where it's not really germane any more. (Ever heard the phrase "we use everything but the oink?")
Lastly, I'm not sure that it's ready for VFH. There's clever enough wordplay, and it's obviously better than the clump of daglocks that was there before, but ass a hole, the article doesn't blow my skirt up just yet. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 19 '12 12:51 (UTC)

There is a John Deere dealer on my way to the ballpark and I've been wrestling with expanding this lame joke. The place you found to put it neatly separates the intro's second paragraph from its segue, so I moved it back and tweaked it. The only other revert I would have, and as it's a matter of taste I don't insist, is that I preferred the hint to a pun, in "gaping hole, as it were," to the use of blue to announce the fact, though it does enhance the other one, at "Ew."

It seems that progress on VFH has to do not just with excellence but with choice of topic. Bitcoin went straight to the top but no one wants to visit the Indian state of Kerala. Sheep is on its way as it seems there are a couple closet sheep-shaggers in the audience. Spıke ¬ 13:09 19-Dec-12

Using "as it were" (and other verbal hiccups) to point out a pun to the reader is the same as waving your arms and shouting "oh, do read that again, I made a funny." It interrupts the sentence flow. I feel that if a pun must be pointed out, you should do it with either a link, or italics. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 19 '12 13:18 (UTC)
Also, where do you get off not using the phrase "animal husbandry"? You should be ashamed of yourself. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 19 '12 13:18 (UTC)

As you are saying that exactly my problem with your link is also present in my version, your version stands. "Animal husbandry" I'll take care of right now. Spıke ¬ 13:41 19-Dec-12

So, uhhh...finished with my Sheeple. Pick one or none. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 20 '12 0:30 (UTC)

I pick One, for the double chin. Unless you want to use both in an animation.... Spıke ¬ 00:36 20-Dec-12

Excellent choice sir. I'll upload it at some point in the next year. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 20 '12 0:39 (UTC)
Some twit already uploaded something at "sheeple.jpg". Does this count as "cracking wise with the navigation tools"? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 20 '12 1:49 (UTC)

That is exactly what was going through my mind when it appeared on RecentChanges. Meanwhile, you might not think this is the Best Article Ever, but you have enough time (read, enough of your employer's time) into this article to vote for featuring and share your 1/2 of the FA honors. Spıke ¬ 01:58 20-Dec-12

I usually never vote on things I've been involved with, either on the grounds of "bad luck," "conflict of interest", or "can't be bothered." My only exception is for things I've done grammar sweeps on. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 20 '12 2:02 (UTC)

Well, you caught my "wooly"--if you take my meaning. Spıke ¬ 02:05 20-Dec-12

Eye looking thru holeI Laird6see. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 20 '12 2:20 (UTC)
so I presume you decided against using the sheeple shoople... ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 22 '12 18:56 (UTC)

Oops, didn't realize it was on me. Also, I was running with Images off most of yesterday. It's in now. Spıke ¬ 20:41 22-Dec-12

Cool. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 22 '12 20:51 (UTC)

edit I just tried to nominate A Helpful Compilation of the One Hundred (or so) Worst Things to Stick Your Dick into, and an Account of the Scientific Explorations Thereof — An Abridged Folio Edition, with Copious Illustrations and Annotations, for Your Edification and Enlightenment for VFH

Hello. I just tried to nominate A Helpful Compilation of the One Hundred (or so) Worst Things to Stick Your Dick into, and an Account of the Scientific Explorations Thereof — An Abridged Folio Edition, with Copious Illustrations and Annotations, for Your Edification and Enlightenment]] and the VFH enrollment machine won't accept it. This creates a problem with maybe no solution. Or, wait, a redirect can be created with just a couple of words, the that might do it. Never mind, ignore this post. It never happened. Aleister 19:04 18decemb12

THIS MUST NEVER SEE THE FRONT PAGE ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 18 '12 19:06 (UTC)
Why? I found it well written, at least your versions. I suggest that you edit furiously and beat it into the best shape possible. Or have I made a huge mistake? What have I done? Oh God, fuck me, the testicles of Zeus himself cannot hide my shame. Aleister minutes later
It makes ME laugh. But it's flawed, and people will never vote "for" it. Also Nikau mentioned that he could see the ending coming from the first sentence, and I respect his opinion. Man, I miss Nikau. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 18 '12 19:23 (UTC)
So, ah, change the ending. You are a very good writer, so I suppose you can think of something, and I think this is a good page and will win many hearts as the decades unfurl. Aleister minutes later
Well ok then. The last time this was up, it failed miserably. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 18 '12 19:29 (UTC)
Polish polish polish and ye shall reach the promised land, fapfapfap. You have time to masterpiece it, and it's well on the way to that. I have one page now I want to masterpiece (the only one of my old pages I consider in that category is The Old Man and LV) but it's not feeling close to it yet. Good luck! Aleister some time in the future of that last entries past

edit Cursor

Dannyboy1209, who generally does not know what he is doing even when he asks to become an Admin or nominates himself for an award, has replaced spaces with leading colons to "make it look nicer." I doubt that it will in all cases, but cannot be sure because of my non-standard settings. Would you please evaluate his change? Spıke ¬ 22:29 18-Dec-12

I saw that. I can't see which is better or whether the joke is lost or enhanced. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:41, December 19, 2012 (UTC)
I doubt there's very much humor in that "article" anyway. Things That Look Like What They're About is played out. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 19 '12 12:44 (UTC)

edit Well, drum my Angus

I was actually going to tell you to cancel that UnNewsTune whoring. The thing is, I procrastinated one night longer than I should have and my karaoke software demo expired. Thus, I had to make due with the simple singspoken audio version without music. : /

Oh, well. I guess it still works. I do highly appreciate it. We need to spread some holiday cheer with only- *checks calendar* oh shit! Six days until Christmas? Why the hell am I talking to you? I need to go buy some crap! -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 19:31, Dec. 19, 2012

All public humiliations come to he who procrastinates. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Dec 19 '12 20:26 (UTC)

edit Shirley calls from across the glen

Hello, and some good writing and discussions going on. I feel ready now to ask for the "delete" voters to have another read of Shirley Phelps-Roper. Just wrote some stuff on there that I really like, and I'll keep working on it. So it may be ready to read again. Thanks. Aleister 17:19 20decemb12

edit I wanted to know if you could make a GIF for my I want a cookie.

I wanted to know if you could get the first picture to have the face redden or something and say "Give me a cookie now!"--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:02, December 22, 2012 (UTC)

If you could link me to the scene of the movie that's from (on youtube), I might be able to whip something together. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 22 '12 21:26 (UTC)

Um, I have actually never watched Orphan because I'm a pussy. I'll find the scene sometime soon though.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 21:46, December 22, 2012 (UTC)

edit Hey

I fucking love you!                               Puppy's talk page11:16 24 Dec

Ok, that's very nice. Whoa. Whoa! HEY! PUT ME DOWN!
This isn't funny. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 24 '12 17:22 (UTC)

edit BASIC

I like the text-shadow effect. But something--I suspect your use of &lt;noinclude \&gt;--is keeping the monospace style from taking effect for me, although the other styles do take effect. Spıke ¬ 23:55 24-Dec-12

Also, text-transform: uppercase denies the author the device of uppercase for effect, and terminals of a slightly later era did have lowercase. Spıke ¬ 23:58 24-Dec-12

Well, yes, going all-uppercase does do that, but then again, people used to use exclamation marks to infer shouting. I like the all-uppercase. As for the &lt;noinclude \&gt;...that should have no effect on your computer display; it is parsed out before it even gets to your computer. It's simply a hack that causes MediaWiki to actually interpret the markup inside the block. Without it, bold stuff becomes '''bold stuff'''. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 25 '12 0:44 (UTC)

Should have no effect--but it did. It may be a factor that I have local CSS for <pre>, but that specifies monospace as well; I don't see what is taking the element out of monospace. Spıke ¬ 00:58 25-Dec-12

You know what? From now on, when I open my mouth about MediaWiki, just say "STFU dude." When I use the hack, MW inserts <p>s into the text, and not even proper ones. Am working on a solution. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 25 '12 1:18 (UTC)
Ok, got rid of the <pre> in favor of a <div>. Does it work now, or does your CSS override it? Also, I put fixedsys first, because I like it better on Windows. You should still see Terminal unless you've got fixedsys on your box (which I doubt). ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 25 '12 1:35 (UTC)
Smallcaps as a mid-way solution? And as to the above, import script is beautiful, until it gets to a page that doesn't exist.                               Puppy's talk page01:38 25 Dec

No, I am seeing my default proportional-width font, which is damned peculiar, because my CSS is:

PRE  { font: normal 9pt/9pt Terminal !important; white-space: pre !important }

Fixedsys is not installed. Spıke ¬ 01:43 25-Dec-12

well, it's not a <pre> anymore, it's a <div> + <p>s. Try putting this in your css file:
.terminal * { font-family: fixedsys, Terminal, monospace !important; white-space: pre !important }
 ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 25 '12 2:25 (UTC)

Am not going to put another line in my CSS just to render this article correctly. I never liked it, remember? Spıke ¬ 03:17 25-Dec-12

Sounds like a plan. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 25 '12 4:08 (UTC)

edit Edit conflicted treat

Candycane Kip the Dip has given you a candy cane!
Oh, yes, Bizzeebeever! COME ON MY TITS! COME ON MY TITS!!

Apparently, the rabbit is the only mammal unable to vomit! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usTue, Dec 25 '12 4:19 (UTC)

edit Can you?

Do my request, uhm, take the logo for the site and put a yellow turban around it for my Yellow Turban Rebellion article? Thanks.--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 00:51, December 27, 2012 (UTC)

Like this, perhaps? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 27 '12 1:11 (UTC)
I love you!--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 01:51, December 27, 2012 (UTC)
See Mom? Do you see this? Kamek98 can say it, and he's never even met me! You suck, Mom! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 27 '12 1:55 (UTC)
Haha, and I suppose u can also make me a new fancy signature that actually looks like cursive. Sir Peasewhizz de New York?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 02:01, December 27, 2012 (UTC)
You could just add ''s around your sig, you know. Like this: Italics rule!!! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:17, 27 December 2012
Kamek siggy ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 27 '12 5:17 (UTC)

How would I make that render?--SirPeasewhizzdeNewYork Click here to talk 05:43, December 27, 2012 (UTC)'s an image, might put the following in User:Kamek98/sig1:

File:Kamek siggy.png
rect 0 0 70 15 [[User:Kamek98|My user page!]]
rect 70 0 139 15 [[User talk:Kamek98|My talk page!]]
desc none
...your other stuff here...

that would render as:
My user page!My talk page!Kamek siggy
Without an image, there's no surefire way of forcing your signature to appear cursive to all viewers. You could use CSS, but there really aren't any common cursive fonts. If we could upload custom fonts to the server, you could then supply one to the viewer's browser, but we can't. Like Socky said, you could try italics... ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 27 '12 6:13 (UTC)

edit Polonium

It hadn't occurred to me that there would be a Polonium page already but, anyway, I'm intending to make a two or three paragraph page for each element and linked to my Periodic Table rather than a full article on each. (Only 107 to go) That way anyone searching for an element will go to existing pages. --Sog1970 (talk) 10:27, December 27, 2012 (UTC)

I noticed. You made me cry. I should just VFD polonium. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Dec 27 '12 10:34 (UTC)

edit Psychic on VFH

I share your embarrassment at being momentarily in agreement. The last time this happened, I got up at Town Meeting to argue against a resolution "that the Town memorialize its legislators" to support a bill people assumed I was for, saying we were each capable of giving our Rep a piece of our minds individually. An adversary spoke next and started by expressing his shame to be in agreement with me.

Separately, take a bow and ½ credit in the Hall of Shame for the featuring of Sheep! Spıke ¬ 14:01 27-Dec-12

I'm not really concerned about my HOS entry. I think it's short a couple of articles, anyway. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 31 '12 7:31 (UTC)

edit NSFW

Did what you say on here get done? Or does it still need done. I'd hate to miss out on an opportunity for back breaking labour. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 08:17, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

Dude, go to here, and you'll see. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 29 '12 8:20 (UTC)
It's just like Skynet. --ChiefjusticeXBox360 08:48, December 29, 2012 (UTC)
I'd say you'd never believe how many not-really-even-risque images had {{NSFWImage}} on them, but I'm sure you're quite familiar with the typical Uncyclopedian's tendency to cover up his own lack of humor by tacking on a template. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 29 '12 8:50 (UTC)

edit Vote

I'm not sure if this was a serious revote based on a flawed deduction that I think my own article sucks, or a cruel joke that I failed to pick up, but it makes me nervous nonetheless. >_>

Don't you know I'm an insecure little girl? -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 15:36, Dec. 29, 2012

It's a cruel, cruel non-joke. I'm hoping there's a cascade of against votes. >:)  ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Dec 29 '12 16:06 (UTC)
You bastard!
Oh, wait, what am I worried? Writer of the Year 2007 The Thinker apparently thinks I'm so hilarious he practically begged me on Facebook last night to join his piddly British satirical newspaper no one reads. If that doesn't place me up high on Mount Olympus with the gods looking down on you pathetic mortals, I don't know what does.
And have I ever been asked by the Thinker anything? No. Fuck you, Kip. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSun, Dec 30 '12 0:45 (UTC)
PSFYI: Let the record show that Auld Lang Syne is the best goddamn thing I've ever written! -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 16:15, Dec. 29, 2012

edit We are long lost brothers

Twins actually. Identical, though you aren't quite as gorgeous as I am. Crazy isn't it? --ShabiDOO 16:11, December 29, 2012 (UTC)

I'm a twin! No, really! Ferternal however, and my brother is fat and ugly. And he smells. Please stop reminded me of him! WAAAHHH!!--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 00:48, December 30, 2012 (UTC)
Cool. I'm also a twin. Bizzeebeever is my twin. He doesn't smell. I'm not sure if he's fat. Are you fat Bizzeebeever? --ShabiDOO 22:51, December 30, 2012 (UTC)
I wear skis in the shower to keep from going down the drain. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usMon, Dec 31 '12 7:29 (UTC)

edit I regret nothing

NOTHING Madclaw @ talk 15:34, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

Also, "I am not a crook." Spıke ¬ 15:44 30-Dec-12
The doctor is in. Madclaw @ talk 16:58, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

edit I care. : )

Only problem is that the girl on the right has a couple blotches of differently coloured skin now. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:52, 2 January 2013

That's a lens flare dude. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Jan 2 '13 17:53 (UTC)
Oh, I see. I'd remove the one on her arm, though. Looks more like a circular patch than lens flare. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:56, 2 January 2013
Maaaaan, can't please folks. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Jan 2 '13 17:59 (UTC)
What can I say? I'm a perfectionist, especially when it involves other people doing the stuff I'd like perfected. ; ) Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:06, 2 January 2013
Thanks, now I can fap to it all day. Or rather, I would, if not for the fact that I think masturbation is gross and gay. :P Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:16, 2 January 2013
Onanism is a necessary evil, Brosephus. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Jan 2 '13 18:18 (UTC)

edit Greetings

How's it going? I thought I'd drop by and say 'hi' seeing as I have some free time from not masturbating. By the way, I find that your articles are quite shallow and pedantic. Kip ¬  18:31, Jan. 2, 2013

Mmmm, yes, I concur. Shallow and pedantic. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usWed, Jan 2 '13 18:38 (UTC)
Clearly, this is not the real Spıke, as this one has a dot on top of his iota. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:15, 2 January 2013
Also, because it says "Kip" instead of "Spike", Master Holmes. eKips ¬  19:31, Jan. 2, 2013
Just pointing out your imperfect parody, Doctor Watson. :D Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:34, 2 January 2013
Doo wut? Kip, what's the point in copying my signature?* And Socky, put those articles back on VFD! You userspaced them before we could devise clever insults of your writing ability. Spıke ¬ 19:36 2-Jan-13
* Down to the code to ensure that the rounded corners are visible on old versions of Mozilla.
I didn't archive them. You're free to put the entries back and insult the lunacy that I called "writing" in my old days. ; ) Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:38, 2 January 2013
To Spike: I thought it would be funny when I noticed I could take my name directly out of yours. I went to Bizzeebeever's talk page for the parody because, let's face it, you two are as chatty as two English ladies and a parakeet. -- Kip > Talk Works Puzzle Potato Dry Brush CUN Icons-flag-us 20:07, Jan. 2, 2013
What's everyone complaing about? Aleister ¬  18:31, Jan. 2, 2013
Hmm? Penιs ¬  04:54, January 3, 2013 (UTC)

edit BeeBee

Hello. And I will get around to voting for you on Potatochopper for sure. So I'm asking this out of fear and consternation and shallow indignancy at wikia, could you please help an old altar boy? I totally hate that large Wikia censorship label, and fear for the demise of the opening photo on this page which was the inspiration for the entire page. Can you just do a little touch up something on the woman's nipples and just covering her crotch, just enough to get past the 1950s mentality at wikia. If you happen to do this thing, please make it into a separate file, as I'll stick with the pic as it is now as long as they keep it alive. Thanks two million, which is what TFK wants. Al 20:02 2-1-'13

p.s. looking at it, maybe just the one nipple (ummmmmmmm, nipples) and see if the second one is popping out at all, and her crotch is in shadow but knowing the morons at... Thanks again, Al
Sure, I'll see what I can do. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Jan 3 '13 4:43 (UTC)
Great, thanks. I really want the new site to work, but ads fucking up the look do concern me, and having this site vandalized concerns me. If we can balance both, that might be the best of no worlds. Aleister 12:44 3-1-'13
¡AY YAI YAI! ¡DIOS MIO! What IS that?!?! ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Jan 3 '13 12:55 (UTC)
That's me, in real life, and a lady I hired for the pic. It's the only time I've posed here for a picture. Don't be a hater man, I can't help what I look like. Aleister are you saying you've never read the article? It's one of my opus's here, and check out the paragraph with all the links to all the "help us with sex please" pages on wikipedia.
I think I've read it, I just don't recall that pic. Mein Gott. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Jan 3 '13 13:40 (UTC)
Come on, don't you think I take enough abuse walking down the street? Okay, that's me, you don't have to rub it in. That's what she's doing. Aleister
Something like this maybe? ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usThu, Jan 3 '13 14:54 (UTC)
Nice! Can you make the leaves a little smaller, and I don't even know if she needs a large one on her right breast. But yeah, anything is nice, thanks. When uploaded can you load it under a different name (if it was lost in my long post above) so both pics are here for as long as is needed. Woo woo! Aleister 15:35 D-Day minus two
Ok, uploaded it. Just wanted to give you a heads-up that that is from a copyrighted photograph by an artist named Charlie White. I dunno what his attitude might be about his image's use on this site, or whether he would be happy with it or would want royalties. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usFri, Jan 4 '13 4:58 (UTC)
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