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Hello, Billsheppard, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... no that's my attic you fucking pillock. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:
- Beginner's Guide to using a lavatory - how not to have embarrassing accidents
- How to be fucking retarded and not just stupid
If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pints of Uncyclopedia
- Everything you never wanted to know, and were too fucking stupid to ask
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I hope you enjoy editing this comment and making me sound like a total cockswinger. Please vandalise talk pages by writing inane crap and use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically bring the men in white coats round your house.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome! --
edit Swedish rats
|Mrs. Fundlebuggy sends you a big pie and a warm welcome!|
Thanks for helping out my son out with his obsessive gibberish. God knows, he needs help. I know I do.
edit Accent renderer apparently needs work
Hey! Thanks for your feedback on my awful pronunciations! I purposefully do these in one take, usually, so whatever get's in usually stays in, especially background noise. Also, like many stories, I didn't read this one closely before rendering (take the word "rendering" as you please) this twaddle, and I knew immediately I couldn't do it justice, so... I improvised, based on my through familiarity with UK accents, gleaned from Monty Python reruns. Cheers! Get saved! 17:21, 30 July 2006 (UTC)
PS You'll be needing one of these...
|On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you.|
Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Get saved! 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)
edit Dave Gorman
Hey....like your photo of Dave Gorman, we so need to have an article about him. I've done a related article thats on VFH at the moment called Googlewhack, though I can guarantee that my photo of him is more disturbing. :) --
edit Thanks for the mammaries, erm, beer? UK? what was I talking about?
Thanks for your kind word on my presentation... my philosophy regarding such articles is, if I don't know what the fuck it's about, go with it... Get saved! 03:43, 4 January 2007 (UTC)
This is very interesting! Could you make it read a bit more like a news story and a bit less like a sales brochure? Is it based on something in the news, or is it
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|
Glad you found it of interest. The way it reads is more because it just went in a spoof lazy churnalism direction. The inspiration was from me thinking "why are there cameras looking at my cock?" when I was pissing into a urinal equipped with that device at work rather than any current affairs. The gratuitous references to celebrity paedophiles are of course obligatory...
--Billsheppard 21:41, April 20, 2011 (UTC)