User talk:Bevanz

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Handicapped

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edit Welcome!

Hello, Bevanz, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Bevanz/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 22:19, November 26, 2010 (UTC)

Iam great 23:05, December 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Testing my sig

lolol I am greatSoup? 22:55 16-Dec-10

"sig" had two hard returns before the <noinclude>. Your signature invoked it, then had a space. This was an indented line, that produced the awful "box" effect. Fixed now. Spıke ¬ 23:00 16-Dec-10

PS--Uncyclopedians typically experiment in User:Bevanz/Sandbox rather than using your talk page. That way you can delete stuff and no one thinks you're trying to delete something that was said to you. Spıke ¬ 23:02 16-Dec-10

Ohh, yeah, I should toss one of those up... Thanks for the help with my sig, I think I got it so there is no more broken code or anything. I am great Sup? 23:05 16-Dec-10
Nope, now it is spewing code everywhere... I am great Sup? 23:06 16-Dec-10
Now?I am greatSoup? 23:07 16-Dec-10

You got it. The bug would not be in "sig" but in the field in Preferences that calls it--probably the "nosubst" thing. Spıke ¬ 23:08 16-Dec-10

Yeah, I forgot to put that back in when I saved it that time, but I got it now... cool, thanks again for the help I am greatSoup? 23:09 16-Dec-10

edit 668 on VFD

Thanks for giving me credit for changing your mind, but if you still don't think the article is funny, I didn't change your mind, and you should still vote Delete. Thing is--VFD is not just about cleansing Uncyclopedia, but occasionally in enlisting the minds that vote on VFD to fix articles. I've saved dozens of articles that were nominated for deletion, though my style is reality-based humor and I think this article might attract the talents of Aleister in Chains when he next visits.

If the article doesn't make you laugh but I've convinced you it was trying to do something clever, another option is to strike your Delete vote but not vote Keep--or not yet, not until it is improved, as I believe is about to happen. No big deal this time; the vote right now is split down the middle, which means the article survives, as VFD works on consensus, not one-vote majority. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 23:59 9-Dec-10

Okay, makes sense. I decided to wait and see how it is improved.I am greatSoup? 20:18, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

edit Bespin

BTW, since you like reality based humor, do you think (if you have the time) you could take a look at my article on Bespin? I was trying for reality based humor, because I've always thought Bespin didn't really make sense. I know it isn't great, but might just be an okay start right now. If you could give me any suggestions, that'd be cool.
Thanks I am greatSoup? 00:17, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

Well, first of all, this isn't reality-based humor, but humor based on someone else's fiction--in particular, one of the Star Wars movies that I haven't seen. Reality-based humor is like Sunny D, an English beverage (its review is at the bottom of the VFD page right now), where my job was to learn its real history (from Wikipedia) and then twist it.

There are big dangers with fantasy-based humor:

  1. You limit your audience--the extreme case being game-based humor, which often goes to VFD where it is ridiculed as "gamecruft." VFD has had a jihad this month against all things Pokémon.
  2. You must take care that the humor is your own and not supplied by the creators of the fiction. I've always been amused by the Hindu-like "Gungans" of Star Wars, but any effort to make fun of their manner of speaking would be documenting someone else's joke.

If you really think the concept is ready for ridicule, you can do it. My best fantasy-based articles are Vulcan and Fantastic Four, and their point is to ridicule the creators' concept. You are on the same track in Bespin with your observation that card games seem to confer political power.

Your article is short, very unfinished, and spends a lot of time introducing the reader to the Star Wars world, compared to the effort amusing the reader. Apart from fart jokes, which I don't enjoy, you've got that one point to make--that card-playing confers power--and the article mostly presents it as peculiar and not yet funny.

Keep working on this--how about a series of dilemmas that a real-life mayor would face, handled by the Mayor of Bespin by proudly demonstrating his card-playing ability, thereby epic-failing to solve the dilemma? The police go on strike, the mayor enters negotiations and promptly places both an Ace and a Deuce on the conference table and--take it from there. Spıke ¬ 00:44 10-Dec-10

Hey, thanks for looking over my article. I agree that the fart joke was probably kinda stupid, and removed it. I just had it because that is literally what the original authors had to explain the gasses in the atmosphere. I started up a history section that I think expands on the card-playing idea and ties into the movies a bit. Thanks, I am greatSoup? 20:18, December 10, 2010 (UTC)

Yes, if the joke came from the "original authors," that, more than my disapproval, is a reason to cut it out, as you have now done.

Reading your new section on History, "400 BBY" is what we call a "nonsense year number." BBY, perhaps I would understand if I were a fan of your fantasy universe, but I'm not, so make it relate to me. And some guy, although it is an Uncyclopedia meme (but we on VFD kill articles for overuse of these), in one fell swoop makes your article look less encyclopedic. An encyclopedia article doesn't tell us about "some guy," it provides specifics--even if they are complete crap. Spıke ¬ 00:05 11-Dec-10

Definitely agree about the some guy thing, I just didn't know if saying names most fans of Star Wars wouldn't even recognize would be helpful.
About the calender system in use for Star Wars fans, I would be unsure of how to change that without either lying and calling it something like "BCE" and "CE" so it is standard to our calender, or just spelling out exactly what it means, which might just be more unfunny stuff added to the article. It basically just means "Before the Battle of Yavin", which was the original movie.
For now, I changed it to "Four hundred years before the destruction of the Death Star, an entrepreneur named Ecclessis Figg commissioned Incom to build Cloud City."
Thanks again for all the help. It is actually kind of fortunate that you haven't watched the movies, because it offers a far different point of view from mine. I am greatSoup? 18:40, December 13, 2010 (UTC)

edit Saskatchewan on VFD

Please re-read it now and see if you want to flip to Symbol keep vote Keep. Spıke ¬ 00:00 11-Dec-10

edit Link to your talk page?

Hi Bevanz. Can you put a link direct to the talk page as well in your signature? Thanks. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 14:37, December 15, 2010 (UTC)

Sure thing I am greatSoup? 18:39, December 15, 2010 (UTC)

edit Frozen Penguin review

Hey, I know this may seem moot since the article in question has already been deleted (Sorry, I'm slow) and this may seem a bit harsh, but your review really wasn't the best, either. Even, perhaps especially, if an article is rather awful, you need to say what is good and bad - which you started to do, but if you say what works and why, the writer might have more to work with. More so, however, suggestions are important as well. In this case, how could it have been expanded, what potential, which references were any good, or should they all have been scrapped, what sort of images should it have had, and if that was just clipart, what was so bad about that in this case?

That may seem like a fairly random listing, but if you (re)read this and check out some of what the steel kidneys do (apparently folks decided they were good, or something), you should see what I'm getting at.

At any rate, I'm not trying to put you down; hope this helps in the future. Cheers. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 19:38, 15 December 2010

Yes, I see what you mean. My review lacked depth. I had just submitted one of my articles for review, and in the submit process, it recomends one to review someone else's article, so I thought I'd jump in on that to contribute back. Guess I didn't put too much work into it, but I'm glad you brought this to my attention. I started reading up on some of the guidelines, and I'll be sure to put more work into a review next time I do so.
Oh, and don't worry about putting me down or anything. I'm here to contribute and would rather be told the truth when I do so subpar so that I can improve for the future.
Thank you. I am greatSoup? 19:53, December 15, 2010 (UTC)
Shiny; there may be hope for you, yet. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 20:04, 15 December 2010

Yeah, there's more than just hope for you. Nice job. O_o 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:52, 31 December 2010

edit Voting on VFD

I hate to pile on after the above, but on VFD, you seem to be withdrawing your vote for fear of being in the minority. If it's what you believe, stick with it. No one gets banned for being contrary. (I would be the first to know.) And cheers to you for inviting constructive criticism above. Spıke ¬ 15:16 20-Dec-10

Hey, well, I don't really think I am doing it for fear of being the minority. In both Game:Create A Game and Game:Capture the Flag I flipped cause other people persuaded me with points I hadn't thought of. Although, I may have done so for the vote for Call of Duty: Black Ops...
Anyways, yeah, I will keep what you've said in mind in the future.
Thanks, I am greatSoup? 18:34 20-Dec-10
*hugs Bevanz* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 19:36, 20 December 2010

edit Jesus Christian

Hi. I nommed Jesus is Christian NOT Jewish for VFH, come around if you'd like and vlote. It doesn't seem like the template tags would fit for this page, they are usually for articles about a particular Jesus himself. Like Giant Jesus, or Backlit Jesus, things like that. Nice though. Aleister 22:38 22 12

Yeah, I was thinking it might not fit well enough, but I do think the article should be tied in to other articles more, so your work on it doesn't get lost to the sea of articles floating around. Maybe a link from one of the pages on Jesus or something? Although, I supposed being in the catagories it is in might be enough.
Kind of odd seeing it with both a deletion and honor template on the top, lol... I'll go make my way over to VFH to vote.
I'd also like to say to you, while I have you alone and cornered, that I like the work you've done on the article. Before it was just too matter-of-factly stating stuff in an unfunny way (except maybe from what could be derived from the images, but someone else's images shouldn't be the only thing making the article funny), but now you've pushed it over the top to what I think it was trying to be. I am greatSoup? 22:57 22-Dec-10
Thanks! Very nice words, which I have already copied and carved into a piece of wood, which at this moment is being hung on the wall. A little to the left, honey. There. I though it would be funny to flip the page onto VFH before the VFD tag was removed. I don't expect it to make feature, but who knows, just having a little fun. It's not bad as a feature though. And you're right, some more links should be included. And since I have you cornered here, on your talk page, have you read or voted for or against "Uncyclopedia is almost full" on VFH? It needs one more vote to get featured, maybe even tonight. Ho ho ho, give a poor altar boy a penny. Well, let's sit back and see what happens to Christian NOT Jewish, fireworks or fun??? Aleister 23:17 22 12 Ho ho ho
I hope that you had it carved into teak. All of my quotes have to be carved into teak or else it simply will not do. I did give "Uncyclopedia is almost full" a read and voted for it getting nominated, funny stuff there. I daresay I hope what happens to Christian NOT Jewish is a 21 gun salute, and no less. Good day, sir. I am greatSoup? 00:06 23-Dec-10
I checked and it was actually carved into a fucking elephant tusk! Ivory. Imported poacher ivory. Lots of trouble if anybody finds out, but it sure looks nice hanging next to the stuffed bald eagle up there. And thank you very much, like eskimo-wife blow-job much, for the vote. Since it was nommed I was hoping it would go through mainly because Rupert Murdoch is so ancient and horrible, and if he dies it would have to be changed to someone else and that wouldn't be as much fun. Yeah, a 21 gun salute with water pistols. That sounds interesting. Thanks again, and I'll go put some links on that page. Aleister 1:37 Festivus MMX
Well, I suppose one quote carved into something other than teak is alright. Especially since it is ivory. I just hope you aren't starting a trend that'll lead to all my quotes not being carved into teak. It was no problem for the vote. Although I generally don't make my way over to VFH, I did find that one funny. Looks like the Jesus is Christian page is doing pretty good so far. Can we at least make it water POWERED pistols that still shoot real bullets? I am greatSoup? 19:30 23-Dec-10
Jeez, with a little luck and money changing hands it may actually get featured for Christmas. Weird, and fun. Thanks again! And water powered pistols that shoot real bullets, sounds scary for the real wimpy criminals, maybe fit for that 100 weapons that don't exist list. Keep the Festivus pole warm (wink wink, nudge nudge) Aleister 23:38 Festivus MMX

edit This is it... the 100th UnSignpost.

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:47, 23 December 2010

edit "Everyone knows Sony is run out of the UK"

Well, I didn't know it. When did that happen? And, to the point, what sport can we make of it in the Sony article? Spıke ¬ 02:29 25-Dec-10

Oh, it's not actually run out of the UK, but it is actually run (president and CEO) by a British knight. I think he works at Sony America, though. Not sure how you could play that into the article, maybe playing off the knight part. It does seem like the article could use some expansion on the history of the business-part of the company, though. I am greatSoup? 03:17 25-Dec-10

Hmm, yes, a British knight who was in the US Army during Vietnam, holds dual citizenship, and runs a huge Japanese corporation. The obvious direction to take this is US right-wing paranoia about multinational businessmen with allegiance to no nation at all. But I think many more people know about Sony gear than the Sony executive suite--and Wikipedia says he's leaving Sony (or at least "Sony music") this month anyway, so I'm going to drop it for now. But thanks for the lead. Spıke ¬ 20:03 25-Dec-10

edit I EDITS LOL

Hug
Lyrithya has deemed you worthy of a hug because you used perhaps the best edit summary she had seen in a very long time. Thus, you may now consider yourself hugged.

At this point, you may also want to consider checking your pockets so as to ascertain that everything is still there.

Not sure other people would agree, but that rather cheered me, seeing that on recent changes. Cheers. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 22:05, 27 December 2010

Haha, thanks I am greatSoup? 22:08 27-Dec-10
I took a cut on Section 1. By the way, "P.D.Q. Bach" is a hoax (of Peter Schickele) for fans of music and humor. Unless you know this hoax and can take it in new directions, this should come out, as Uncyclopedia is stealing someone else's joke. Spıke ¬ 22:15 27-Dec-10
K, got rid of the PDQ Bach section, as I had no idea what it was, I just thought it might be adding some more substance to the article. Thanks I am greatSoup? 22:29 27-Dec-10

edit Something to make the ladies wet


Now eat it. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 22:23 Dec 27 2010

Thanks =D I am greatSoup? 22:29 27-Dec-10
He wants you to eat it, eh? Sounds... er... fun. Have fun with that. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 22:43, 27 December 2010
Looks painfully delicious! I am greatSoup? 22:47 27-Dec-10
Shouldn't hurt if you chew it well enough. --Hotadmin4u69 [TALK] 22:52 Dec 27 2010

edit I FINISHED A REVIEW!

What the title says. I just thought I'd be as loud as possible for some reason. Anyway, Bespin has been reviewed, which you may or may not have noticed. Good day. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 04:00, 28 December 2010

Ah, thank you! I noticed you commenting that you'd be doing it. I read over the review, and am already thinking of ways to fix the article. Thanks a lot for the thorough review. I am greatSoup? 08:07 28-Dec-10
Oh, also, infoboxes make everything better. Why would you question my gratuitous use of them!? I am greatSoup? 08:11 28-Dec-10
Also, also, I forgot about those links... I removed the reference to the balloon creatures farting the tibana gas, because it was a kind of lame fart joke.... I understand why you pointed it out, but it is there just to explain why people would want to live there, I guess, which is to mine the gas, which was in the movie. So, chalk that one up to me being lame and explaining too much of the plot, again. Worry not, however, I am not excusing myself. If I keep it, it will be to introduce a section in the article about it, like you said. I am greatSoup? 08:17 28-Dec-10
Yay! I'm useful! I mean... er...
Infoboxes only make everything better if they add something... that one was just an ugly white table with a bunch of stuff that means nothing to folk. Better now, but I'm not changing my stance on the ugly bit. Then again, I think I just find unformatted tables inherently ugly.
And, er, neat. This could go far. Best of luck, squishy. Liking what you're doing so far. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 14:59, 28 December 2010
Yes, I see what you mean, that is a pretty ugly infobox... I was gonna see about stealing, er, borrowing the infobox from wookiepedia, but they have all kinds of strange meta templates and weird stuff... I could go with just making that picture of the establishing shot on Cloud City and ditch the rest...
I'm just "thinking aloud", as much as one can on here, I guess, but yeah, let's see what I can do here...
I am greatSoup? 18:12 28-Dec-10
Or you could reject the givens and make your own... tea? 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 19:39, 28 December 2010
Tea sounds good, thanks I am greatSoup? 19:51 28-Dec-10
Well, I tried making a new infobox... I like it, but lemme know what you think if you want. After rereading, I decided that pretty much the entire article is about Cloud City, so I redirected Bespin to Cloud City, where the article now lives, as you mentioned. I am coming upon a personal conflict, though, because I don't know if it is funny or not :O
Oh well, I'll take a break from looking at it and see if fresh eyes can come to a better conclusion later on. I am greatSoup? 23:58 28-Dec-10
Although, I would like to point out that I am not done making sure everything flows as an article about Cloud City yet, and some of the intro I am planning on moving still
*shrugs* Keep working on it, is all I can really say at this point. Considered frogs? 'Cause, you know, they're all... shiny... *passes out* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 03:00, 29 December 2010
Naw, I hadn't considered frogs yet >_> I am greatSoup? 03:04 29-Dec-10
Er, sorry about that. Just... y'know... *gestures vaguely* 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 14:26, 29 December 2010

edit Jesus would thank you, but he sends his best regards from where he is now

Hi, and thanks for the vote and for the comments about the Jesus page. That one fellow got so upset about it, so I guess it touched a nerve there. I doubt if many average Christians actually have any attention at all on the fact tha Jesus and his family were raised Jewish and continued to adhere to Jewish customs up to his final(???who knows???) day. His mission was to bring some sanity and peace into a warring world by common sense, even Eastern, thoughts and realizations which he tried his darndest to put into a language that the people of his time could use to "get a clue" as well as transmit that language down through time by making sure some people who could write were traveling with him. Smart move by the fellow. As for the page, I find it very funny, and tried to put lots of data into it while keeping the tone of the semi-moronic narrator on topic. Now Iz wonder how many people reading it are having an emotional reaction similar to the user on the talk page. Thanks again. Aleister 19:09 28 12

I never read the page that carefully, but I did read the entire talk page just now. You have to expect that any article on this theme would snark off a couple readers, and I guarantee you some pastor in the Midwestern USA will use it as the fodder for a sermon. That said, the level of histrionics on that talk page--even with the spate of name-calling toward the end--is not unusual. You may have read it on Talk:Croatia, Talk:Islam, the effort in Talk:Pakistan to make that article a catalog of grudges, and likewise with other lands from the Old Country. Don't take any of it personally. An article that is both funny and offensive will not be deleted. Spıke ¬ 19:23 28-Dec-10
The only one I got upset about was from user Make Mine A Double, who wanted it VFD'ed. He didn't even have the courtesy to talk to me about it. SPIKE, have you run up on that guy before? Aleister 19:28 28 12 MMX
p.s. OK, I'm playin'. I'm not upset, but am jealous of his nice user name.
It is the punch line to the only joke I ever told correctly in Spanish. No, I never seen him before. Spıke ¬ 19:44 28-Dec-10
Yeah, I suppose it depends on how much any person looks at it, but I'm fairly certain anyone who looks at the facts knows that he would be Jewish, I mean, is there anyone who doesn't think that? That's the main reason I didn't see a point to the article, cause I dunno who exactly it is supposed to be making fun of, or if it is just supposed to be funny based on being over-the-top wrong.
Regardless, though, I think that the article is fine and the guy on the talk page was kinda over reacting. The original article was, I think, for the purpose of trolling, but I was pretty sure you had done a pretty good job at turning it into something more people would find funny.
Buuuuut, everyone has different senses of humor, and as SPIKE says, subjects like this can hit the nerve with some people. Clearly, he felt it necessary to try to cause a commotion about it. I am greatSoup? 19:51 28-Dec-10
P.S. Wait, that Make Mine A Double guy was you, wasn't it?
ComradeSlice mentioned VFD only as an afterthought in a recent post there; earlier in the Change History, he calls the Rabbi an "asshole" for edit-conflicting him, and--sigh!--he is a member of the Grue Army.
Now I see that "Make mine a double" is you. Anyway: The guy from Chihuahua (presumably a cowboy) and from Monterrey (presumably a cheapskate) are at the bar, and there's an Indian there (certainly unable to get Spanish accents right. The Chihuahuan said Tomás just died. The Indian says: Qué-tómás (what are you taking?) and the guy from Monterrey says: If the Indian is buying, make mine a double! Spıke ¬ 19:53 28-Dec-10
I don't get the joke /gasp I am greatSoup? 19:59 28-Dec-10
If the Indian could get the accent right, he meant to ask: Who's Tomás? Spıke ¬ 20:05 28-Dec-10
Ohhh... yeah, I don't know any Spanish, but yeah, that is funny now. I am greatSoup? 20:08 28-Dec-10
But who was Tomas? That was never explained. Did he know both the guy from Chihuahua and the cheapskate from Monterrey, or was he a relation. Why would the Indian care, unless he was close to either the cowboy or the cheapskate, and in that case it would just be nice of him to purchase the next round. Make Mine A Double 20:09 28 12
Maybe the Indian was a bartender and he asked to be a nice bartender. I am greatSoup? 20:13 28-Dec-10
Nevermind, cause if he was the bartender it would make sense for him to be asking what they'll have... Maybe he's just a guy. I am greatSoup? 20:15 28-Dec-10
Was Tomas shot? In the back or front, and was his killer brought to justice and hung? He would have been if he was an Indian, which is maybe why the Indian asked about him, worried that one of his relatives may have been involved in the death. SPIKE should really take this to Pee Review before-the-fact if he intends to write a page about it. If Tomas were alive today how old would he be? Aleister 20:20 28 12

edit Travis Barker Article

Travis Barker I've finished this article now however I need some help getting links to it. Some articles I'd like to link to it I can't edit such as Emo and Blink-182 Could I have your help with this? Thanks. Jamescragg 22:03, December 29, 2010 (UTC)

Hey there.
First off, let me just point out that when you are editing a talk page, you should always sign your post by hitting the tilde (~) key four times. This makes it so readers, and the person you are talking to, know who you are without having to go to the page's history and figuring it out from that.
Second, I do not mind helping you out. I see from Uncyclopedia's Recent Changes page that you did already add a link to your article to a few places, is there any particular reason you cannot edit those ones? I already added it to the Blink-182 article, since it mentions Travis Barker already, but I don't know where it would make sense to add in Emo. That article doesn't mention any music or culture, and the "See Also" section is already way too long.
It looks like your article is shaping up nicely, but I think I'll take a read through for spelling and grammar. I also notice you still have a lot of red links. You probably can handle that one of two ways, either getting rid of the link to the nonexistant article, or making it a hidden link to another page. Such as when you say, "in the state of Alabama in racist land." "Racist land" is linked, but there is no article by the name "Racist land". Are you referring to the USA? Because if so, you can make the link [[USA|racist land]]. This will show up as a link to "Racist land", but will redirect to the article that exists for the USA.
I am greatSoup? 21:41 29-Dec-10

Thanks for all your help it's come in handy I couldn't edit Blink-182 because the edit button isn't there when I'm on the article. Thanks Jamescragg 22:03, December 29, 2010 (UTC)

You are welcome, I don't mind helping out and contributing where I can. I fixed up some grammar and wording issues I found in the article. One overall impression I got in the article is your overuse of several words, such as "thus" and "whilst" where they did not actually fit in the sentence. Whilst and thus are both synonomous with "therefore" or "so"; "whilst" should not be used to replaced "while" when the meaning is "during", and "thus" should not be used to display a series of events.
You also seem to have a lot of sentences that follow the same basic structure of "And then this happend. Then this happend. Thus this happened. Therefore that happened." and several areas where your sentences started flowing into run on sentences. You should vary your sentence structure and length more, without getting into run-ons.
I offer these critisisms only to help you, so I hope that you can take them to heart and grow even more as a writer.
You may also consider populating your user page, if only with something like "sup", so that people can actually follow the link in your signature to your page and talk page. I am greatSoup? 22:19 29-Dec-10
  1. User talk:Coronium
What is the meaning of this? I am greatSoup? 20:12 30-Dec-10

edit UnSignpost, UnSignpost, eat it right here...

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 21:41, 30 December 2010

edit Sack of Rome

Just deleting an article of mine that didn't quite work and re-editting it to a different angle with a new title. So I'll re-delete it - it's now called "The Barabarians" because there's a pointless page already called barabarians --Sog1970 23:56, January 3, 2011 (UTC)

edit Thank you.

I appreciate the nomination. Best thing I ever got nominated for. *sniffle* I'm so happy! 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya AthyriaIsarraHaydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotMUotMRotMPotMUGotM x4 • SotMFFSNOMMotMBFF x2 • GSA x2 • PSFiyCMDTop3 x3 • Top10VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoSTAWHMCPEEINGPRSPCURCΥΣΣICZB -- 00:01, 4 January, 2011 (UTC)

Oh, Lyrithya! It makes me happy to see you so happy~! I just hope you can overcome the odds brought out by that foul tyrant, Chiefjustice. I am greatSoup? 00:03 4-Jan-11
Admittedly, it would be pretty damn funny if he got both that and UotY... 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya AthyriaIsarraHaydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotMUotMRotMPotMUGotM x4 • SotMFFSNOMMotMBFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PSFiyCMDTop3 x3 • Top10VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoSTAWHMCPEEINGPRSPCURCΥΣΣICZB -- 00:20, 4 January, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, that's kinda true, haha I am greatSoup? 00:22 4-Jan-11
Accurate, too. He kind of deserves both of them, for not entirely unrelated reasons. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy Major Pleb Sir Lyrithya AthyriaIsarraHaydrahlienne - 'Destroyer of the Wiki' - MUN OUN CUN KUN DUN GUN *shifty eyes* (zombiebaron) • (dr. skullthumper) • (roman dog bird) • (nachlader) • (frosty) • (more zombiebaron) • (talk) • (stalk) • (block) • (log) • (list) • WotMUotMRotMPotMUGotM x4 • SotMFFSNOMMotMBFF x2 •

GSA x2 • PSFiyCMDTop3 x3 • Top10VFH x15 • VFP x3.5 • HoSTAWHMCPEEINGPRSPCURCΥΣΣICZB -- 00:28, 4 January, 2011 (UTC)

edit Flint, Michigan on VFD

You are doing good on VFD, not just reading articles and going thumbs-down, but Googling and doing other study to figure out what it might have meant. Regarding Flint, I thought the brief attempt to cast it into the Flintstones worked as poorly as the usual pun on someone's name, and that the author didn't embrace it as the theme of the article.

What I like to do on VFD, rather than just wish aloud that an article were rewritten, is jump in, as I have done about once a week. Moreover, if you do wish aloud, there is a risk that someone will tell you to do it yourself. Flint is on the verge of being deleted and no one minds if you try to improve it--that is, we won't complain that an article under vote is a moving target.

I'm from Michigan and even I don't care about Flint. I know my way to the Silverdome but otherwise always passed it on the West. Fred and Barney, you see, worked; whereas the residents of Flint don't, and didn't, much, even when they used to be employed in the car plant. Spıke ¬ 20:49 14-Dec-10

I am willing to rewrite an article, I like doing that... just did it for the article on Greedo yesterday, which was terrible and I decided to pretty much scrap most of what was there already (which, actually, was several sections copied and pasted, perhaps trying to mimic the "repetition" section from the HTBFANJS article.) I think I might've left too much in from the old article, actually... IDK if that one is funny or not.
My problem with rewriting the Flint article is that I don't really have any involvement or inspiration that might drive me to do so. The closest would be the fact that I work for the USGS, so I do know a bit about rocks. I do think I'll see what I can do, since it might be a bit of a fun challenge, but I'll probably scrap everything about the Flintstones, since that was terrible.
I also am unsure of how to tie anything in to the real city of Flint, since I don't know anything about it, besides what is on the article for Flint on Wikipedia. I guess I could see about making the fact that nobody cares about it, as you pointed out, into the theme. I will look at some stuff on Flint and the article and see about redoing it. Should I undo my down vote, then? Not sure on the protocol for that. Thanks, I am greatSoup? 21:30, December 14, 2010 (UTC)

Don't do it if you are uninspired. When I am inspired, I can usually find out everything necessary by deliberately misreading the Wikipedia article. Flint is simply a basket case and the Wikipedia article is depressing--everything about Flint, to them, is Michael Moore and Urban Renewal. Someone in the State of Michigan recently proposed to bulldoze entire neighborhoods. Spıke ¬ 21:56 14-Dec-10

Well, I still think I'll make some changes... I've been working on some kind of intro, and added the city infobox, and I already removed all the Flintstone stuff. After finishing reading the Wikipedia article on Flint and the Uncyclopedia article on Michigan, I am feeling a bit more informed and confident that I can write this, just gonna have to work on precisely what to write. I am also gonna remove my old vote on the VFD. I am greatSoup? 22:16, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
Looks like the old article got deleted, so I guess it wouldn't really be "saving" it anymore. I had decided to start entirely over, because everything in the old article is just terrible. Nevertheless, I think I will continue working on the article. I might just save it to my userspace instead, until I like how it looks anyways. I am greatSoup? 22:35, December 14, 2010 (UTC)

If you had done work in mainspace that you want to build on, ask the Chief to restore the article in your userspace--with a changed name, as you are already using its name.

There is no need to attach {{WIP}}. No one is going to delete articles from your userspace on the basis that they're incomplete or not making progress.

Your mention on VFD that you were going to attempt a save (or that you had completed one) is appropriate, as is striking your vote and flipping. In this case, you should have known that the article was in imminent danger of being huffed, and should have copied the text into userspace. But I think that, in the end, having to start over will be a healthy thing for the article. I'll check on it from time to time. Spıke ¬ 23:01 14-Dec-10

Oh, yeah, I wasn't planning on keeping any of the text from the original article, and I hadn't saved anything, yet. I figured it'd be huffed soon, and almost mentioned that on here in that last thing I posted, but decided against it. The stuff on my userspace right now was just what I typed up for some quick ideas before I had to go take care of some stuff, and most of it isn't even complete sentences. Thanks for that picture lol.
I'll spend some of this evening, and some time over the rest of the week coming up with most of the article, so yeah, check up on it. Later on, once I think it is looking better, I'll toss it up to the mainspace. I am greatSoup? 02:12, December 15, 2010 (UTC)
Oh, and also, the page in my userspace is actually already copied directly from the original article, the only things I saw fit to keep from it was the quote and section headings for culture and demographics lol. I am greatSoup? 02:20, December 15, 2010 (UTC)

edit Handover to Spike

Would you care to give it back? I need a new project and could attack this through the economic-decline-and-Michael-Moore angle. Spıke ¬ 20:04 4-Jan-11

Ah, yes, feel free to take it. I claimed it and had intended to write it, and had some ideas. By now, though, I let it fall by the wayside. I look forward to reading it. I am greatSoup? 20:09 4-Jan-11

The article is back in mainspace (Flint, Michigan) with {{WIP}} attached. Geography is now fleshed out, after reading Wikipedia--except "Due to its location on the metaphorical hand...." A marvelous, literary start in a direction I can't imagine. Would you care to finish taking this paragraph wherever you had in mind? Spıke ¬ 23:40 4-Jan-11

The article is looking good so far. Yes, I will do something with that in a little bit. I'm at work right now, so most things I do on here are just little edits or general talking, but when I get home I will write something up.I am greatSoup? 23:46 4-Jan-11

PS--I just looked at the change you made to your user page. What you wanted to do is put a comment inside the code, and an easier way than NOINCLUDE is just to type a <!-- comment --> like this. Spıke ¬ 23:48 4-Jan-11

Oh, ok... Yeah, I didn't want it displayed, I just wanted to give credit where it was due if someone was looking at my coding. Thanks I am greatSoup? 23:50 4-Jan-11

edit Flint, Michigan on VFH

As you mentioned on my talk page that you "actually laughed" at it, I've nominated it on VFH, credit to you for the concept. Spıke ¬ 13:53 9-Jan-11

edit lonely hearts

How do you do? Those examples you left in my lonely heart article were funny, it's a shame they're copied from elsewhere (if we changed them around a bit though, we could probably still use them). And feel free to add any if you do think of some. Most of my ideas are a little half-baked. --Black Flamingo 08:28, January 5, 2011 (UTC)

Yello. Yeah, I didn't want to rip off their ideas, but thought I'd share them at least. I'll add any I do come up with, though. I am greatSoup? 18:15 5-Jan-11

edit UnSignpost Delivery!

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Thursday, 09:58, Jan 6 2011 UTC

edit UnSignpost Delivery!

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 03:47, 13 January 2011

edit Do not attempt to adjust your set. This is the UnSignpost.

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 08:15, 20 January 2011

edit UnSignpost! Wheeee!

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 04:44, 27 January 2011

edit You have been nominated

The preceding unsigned comment was added by Maniac mcpee (talk • contribs)

Oh, it's so unexpected! Thank you, thank you!I am greatSoup? 23:23 27-Jan-11
I'll add it to the top of my awards and honors mantle. I am so flushed with emotion right now. I am so proud.I am greatSoup? 23:24 27-Jan-11

edit Thanks

I like the update on 2012 (Video Game). Good work! - Another n00b 20:31, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

You are welcome, and thank you. I am greatSoup? 20:33 2-Feb-11

edit User talk:Tyciol#Wikipedia ban

Note: I was still in the middle of writing this while you made your latest edit to Tyciol's user talk.

I understand what you mean as far as common sense is concerned, but to my credit I was asking nicely (rather than boldly making the edit). I will wait for a reply from Tyciol before doing anything, but I know s/he may not be active anymore.

Just a little note: In the future, I prefer that complaints about my etiquette be raised on my own user talk page first. --Pentium5dot1 t~^_^~c 23:47, February 2, 2011 (UTC)

Okay, and also, I looked at your talk page and you've been here long enough that I aught not have made the assumption that you might not know that. I probably shouldn't have said anything anyways, since you were clearly just asking permission to do it. So, I appologize. I am greatSoup? 23:50 2-Feb-11

edit The UnSignpost is now served with complimentary tacos.

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:37, 3 February 2011

edit This edition of the UnSignpost brought to you in two's complement...

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 02:28, 10 February 2011

edit Lurg luuurg unsignpost luuuuurg

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 06:14, 17 February 2011

edit UnSignnull pointer exception

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 07:43, 24 February 2011

edit All the UnSignpost you ever wanted

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 16:06, 3 March 2011

edit UnSignpost: March 10th, 2011

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 03:03, March 10, 2011 (UTC)

edit AdminBots presents: The UnSignpost

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 05:10, 17 March 2011

edit UnSignpostOnTheDelivery

1234 ~ 16px-Pointy 10:14, 24 March 2011

edit This is your UnSignpost speaking

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:13, 31 March 2011

edit Terribly creative UnSignpost header

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 04:22, 7 April 2011

edit The UnSignpost: On-time and on top of things... as always.

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:13, 14 April 2011

edit That UnSignposty thing

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 07:17, 21 April 2011

edit UnSignpost: April 28th, 2011

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 06:15, April 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit Signpost Un

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:16, 5 May 2011

edit The Signpost is delivered to all God-fearing citizens

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 05:42, 12 May 2011

edit UnSignpost

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:07, 19 May 2011

edit Phnerb unsignpost

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:04, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Best before Friday!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hurrah, it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:06, June 9, 2011 (UTC)

edit Good to see ya back

--Purple mini lolly Lollipop Purple mini lolly - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 01:16, 12 June 2011

edit UnSignpost Activate!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, June 16, 2011 (UTC)

edit Catch it. Kill it. Bin it. It's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, June 23, 2011 (UTC)

edit The Un-Sigh-npost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

edit It's free and it always will be; it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:06, July 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, July 14, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Avoid all contact with eyes.

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

edit More class than 9000 schools: It's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

edit ChiefjusticeDS is a lazy sod and has paid the ultimate price... an UnSignpost Coup

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

edit More rubbish Australian Prose because ChiefjusticeDS got stabbed in the buttocks by a rioter with a felt-tip pen

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, August 11, 2011 (UTC)

edit Now it only wants you gone; it's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, August 18, 2011 (UTC)

edit Wonko tiddlybum-post

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, August 25, 2011 (UTC)

edit Mailman's here! Lock up your daughters and horny middle-aged Wives!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit This UnSignpost brought to you by... uh... fairy dust? Hmm, we seem to have run out of sponsors.

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:05, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost: Now with free bacon!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:05, September 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit Brought to you by Lion Bars! It's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:02, September 22, 2011 (UTC)

edit Hold onto your wage packets! It's the UnSignpost!

--Tophat headless 00:30, September 29, 2011 (UTC)

edit A day late, because ChiefjusticeDS got lazy: The UnSignPost!

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 01:08, October 7, 2011 (UTC)

edit Woof woof! It's the UnSignpost!

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:02, October 27, 2011 (UTC)

edit Generic UnSignpost header

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:51, 3 November 2011

edit Generic UnSignpost header

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:47, 10 November 2011

edit UnSignpost - 17 November 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:26, 17 November 2011

edit UnSignpost - 24 November 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 02:10, 24 November 2011

edit UnSignpost: December 1st, 2011

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 05:04, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 8 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:21, 8 December 2011

edit UnSignpost - 15 December 2011

--ChiefjusticeGameBoy 10:22, December 15, 2011 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - 22 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 03:48, 22 December 2011

edit UnSignpost - 29 December 2011

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 00:52, 29 December 2011

edit UnSignpost - January 5th, 2012

edit UnSignpost - 12 January 2012

~ Pointy I am Haydrahlienne, I am a bot, and I have no feelings. 01:00, 12 January 2012

edit UnSignpost - 19 January 2012