User talk:Bad Shroom

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edit Welcome!

Mermaid with dolphin
Welcome to the wondrous world of Uncyclopedia!

Hello, Bad Shroom, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... Yes. You seem to have a sense of humor, but to be sure that it corresponds to the kind of humor that is accepted on this site, I suggest checking out the following links:

  • Beginner's Guide - A massive guide about how to be the best you can be at Uncyclopedia. I've honestly never read the whole thing in one sitting myself, but it is very useful if you're looking for help on a specific issue.
  • How to be funny and not just stupid - Our flagship link. This will tell you how to not get booed off the metaphorical stage that is Uncyclopedia. I STRONGLY suggest reading the entire thing through, perhaps more than once.
  • Our Vanity Policies - This page details why we don't care about your friends, your school, your gay fourth period math teacher, or the homework he has you do, and in-jokes. DO NOT violate these rules.
  • Uncyclopedia:Best of - For a bit of inspiration. These are our featured articles. This is the kind of stuff we like to read around here.

Now that that's out of the way, just continue reading and you'll notice some more links. These ones are about help in general:

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but I do recommend it, it can be quite enjoyable, and it's a good chance to let others take notice of your writing. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Bad Shroom/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, consider contributing to Uncyclopedia's current colonization of the week, a group writing project to improve a single popular article. Anyone is welcome to contribute, so come help out! If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talkpage, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talkpage. Additionally, the Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian, and remember: Have fun with it. We're all here to have a good time and a good laugh. Please sign your name on talkpages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (button_sig.png) above the edit box. Again, welcome!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:03, 15 April 2009 (UTC)


edit Apparently

Your Phail article was deleted. You can try working on it in your userspace, where it won't be deleted. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 12:05, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

edit Czechslovakiland

It's a reasonable start, but I'm afraid I can't help you with it. The subject is a little bit too random. As I said earlier, it may be easier to put these articles in your userspace and expand them there. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:35, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

edit Your articles

Though they are/were funny to a certain extent, they didn't meet the expectations of what articles on Uncyclopedia should look like. I advise you to read BGBU and HTBFANJS. It's not meant to insult you or anything, I'm quite sure they'll be very helpful to you. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:39, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

edit Also

I'm not the one deleting your articles. When you go to the title of your deleted article, you should see a log of the deletion somewhere, also mentioning the name of the user that deleted it. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:45, 16 April 2009 (UTC)

edit My QVFD

Let me show you it. If you see a crap n00b article that should obviously be deleted (such as Thetons) just put it on that page and an admin will take care of it. Remember though that QVFD is only for new articles. Preexisting crap should be put on VFD. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN21:02, 23 Apr

edit You aren't funny...

Do you want to know why I keep reverting your edits to my article. It's because you have the writing skill of a nine-year old. In case you hadn't noticed, all of those DSiWare applications were real. Grue on the go, seriously? OMG a grue kills me, how funny. LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! No, just, no. You have no finesse. You just spew out crap and paint it all over good articles. Your crap derailed my article, and that's why I deleted it. If someone who edits it makes it genuinely funny, then I would be okay with it. I have read (and comprehended) HTBFANJS. I also know it isn't spelled HTFAJNS. The point is, your "humor" is completely juvenile. Judging by the above messages talking about your articles being deleted, I'm not the only one who thinks so. So, maybe you should read all the writing guides Uncyclopedia has for beginners, and you can actually write good articles. Oh, and, "get a life"? Where is this random insult generator you used, I want to try it. PS: You're supposed to put spaces after punctuation marks.

-- Aethix ~ Talk|Contributions|My project Kirbywave2 15:38, 25 April 2009 (UTC)

edit Hypocrisy

“WHAT THE HELL?Stop editing Pokemon Island, dangit!your humor sucks bollocks, and the page already has an ICU.Considering something else than comedy, like a garbage man?Sorry..”
~ Bad Shroom on hypocrisy

Isn't it a little hypocritical to get mad at me for reverting your edits on my Nintendo DSi article when you revert the edits of Natedog9090 on your Pokemon Island article and insult him on his talk page for it. So what, you can dish it out but you can't take it? Yes, the Pee Review said it needs work, but hey, at least my article doesn't have an ICU tag on it. -- Aethix ~ Talk|Contributions|My project Kirbywave2 02:31, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

People! Please! There is no need to insult eachother! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:55, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

edit This is your cease and decease order

I don't care if you're an admin on whichever wikia. Around here you treat your fellow editors nicely, or you don't edit here at all. I will not be saying that again. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:16, 26 April 2009 (UTC)

edit I see you're trying to help.

Use this if you want to report any jackasses. Also, I really don't think this guy did anything wrong. I mean, seriously? --Aljolson Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER Aljolson 22:58, 4 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Please don't feed the trolls

Thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 23:04, 6 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Userspace pages

Don't go blanking pages in someone else's userspace. You may have a version in your own userspace, but what's in theirs is their deal, not yours. You think they don't need it? Leave a message on their talk page, or the talk page of the article in question - don't blank other people's stuff, OK? --UU - natter UU Manhole 10:03, May 7

edit Observe this giant angry tilde

Follow the instructions clearly, please. S-984 17:33, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Real help needed to contribute on my Giratinaton article

Thanks for your contribution to my article. Can you continue contributing to my article? I needed as much help as you needed on your article. Thanks. GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 08:44, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

edit Mario Wiki

How did you know it was me? And I'm retired from editing and going to Mario Wiki, especially going, or show up. (psst, see my bio for more)—RadarfishFlutter21px-Fan_girl_1.jpg Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 21px-Nuke_explosion.gif 06:05, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

That's great! At least I'm getting noticeable now —RadarfishFlutter21px-Fan_girl_1.jpg Tuwoolookie! | My History | Brute! 21px-Nuke_explosion.gif 15:44, 6 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Random Usernames

Random? I'll have you know that the De Radio clan has had a long and established tradition in several continents. In fact we were instrumental in upholding the virtues of the Royal Family for centuries. You know the old HMV symbol... It's a puppy, and a... okay, a gramophone, but my great great uncle didn't know how to draw a radio. but what does HMV stand for. We told the public it stood for "His Master's Voice" but it actually harks back to 1066 when we were there to protect "His Majesties Virtue." Okay, we may be crap at our job, but if we can't make them virtuous, we will instead hide their peccadilloes by spreading misinformation and rumour, hence the n00bishness of coming to Uncyclopedia. Puppion De Radio XXI Woof!

Oh, and thanks for the vote. I was going to make a template thank you thingy, but then thought, "Wouldn't it be nicer if you simply gave everyone who voted for you a small sample of your insanity?' Pup 00:34, 7 July 2009 (UTC)


edit exops

hello there. i cant say that we've met before. but i need some help. i feel as though my article, ExOps, which is about a private military company, isn't up to it's full potential. can you help me improve it? i'll give you anything you desire, exept for what you are thinking of.

                                    -thomasfan666

edit Sig template

I moved it to the proper location. Do you know how to set it up in your preferences? ~Jewriken.GIF 15:54, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Hey there

I'm guessing you were calling out Vile pestilence meted out by God to punish sodomites for being a bad article, but there is a much better way of doing it. If you see a new article like that, that should obviously be deleted, go to qvfd, and post it there. (This only works for new articles, however. And if an article has a {{Construction}} template on it, it is exempt from qvfd.) Blanking the page/putting a template on there is usually not the way to go. We all do like the help trying to clean out the crap though. Keep up the good work. Woody On Fire! Wood burningTalking Woody Stalking Woody 21:30, 8 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Ref: Your sig

Witness:

  1. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc!
  2. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc!
  3. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc!
  4. -Almost Sir Random Crap
  5. -Almost Sir Random Crap
  6. -Almost Sir Random Crap

See how the gaps between 3&4, 4&5, 5&6 are bigger than normal? That means your sig is too tall. Make it less so, lest you anger the sig gods! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:09, 17 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Your request?

A few months back, you requested an image, It was never, to my knowledge, ever answered. So I've answered it:
Badass archangel
Please tell me what you think, if I can make it better, and how. I would appreciate a response, seeing as I put nearly 2 hours into it.
Thanks, Rbpolsen Icons-flag-us.png 08:55, 17 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Draft

It's going on now. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 13:43, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

edit League Info

League ID: 322847

Password: wilde

League URL: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/322847

Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:37, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Stuff

If you can't sign into Yahoo!, you can still draft a team, and I can just make a dummy team. In any event, make your pick!Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 21:59, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

edit You Don't win!

You will never win at it -- GBA2005 I Want You! 17:29, 27 July 2009 (UTC)

edit I can't believe I'm asking you this, but...

For some reason, nobody except me is editing Forum:Who HATES MochiAds?. Do you think you could...um...I don't know how to say it... I can't keep the thread going on my own. Could you add to it to get the ball rolling again? <insert name here> <(^_^<)Meh.Meh. Meh. or something like that 21:31, 31 July 2009 (UTC)

edit Yes.

S-984 01:41, 2 August 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: July 30th, 2009

It's on time, you were just high and didn't realize when it got here! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:08, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

edit You're an idiot

That is all.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 22:39, 6 August 2009 (UTC)

I concur. Please stop wasting our time. -- remarkable Ape (accentuate) (Riot Porn) 22:42, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
Also...never create a forum topic again. Ever. Leave me a message if you feel the need to create one and I'll approve of it myself. If you set forth a request to start a meme-related forum I will personally destroy you to the greatest extent of my power. Now, THAT is all.~~ Sir Ljlego, GUN  [talk] 22:50, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
Ljlego is an admin, so be careful the way you handle this, Shroom. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:19, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
You might as well take the offer, Shroom. It won't be that bad, trust me. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:03, 7 August 2009 (UTC)
Yeah. It'll only be temporary. You argue with Lj and things will go a lot worse for you. Trust me. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN00:05, 7 Aug
I hear he once slit a guy's throat with the CD of The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway... -- remarkable Ape (accentuate) (Riot Porn) 00:15, 7 August 2009 (UTC)

edit Help on Pokedex article

Man, you gotta contribute! Half of the Pokemon is not listed, and we need your help! GiratinaOriginForme |Si Plebius Dato' (Sir) Joe ang Pinoy CUN|IC Kill 800px-Flag of the Philippines svg | 10:02, 8 August 2009 (UTC)

Snorlax females? Although on a side note, how many are you going to do? If you go beyond the original 151 then you stand a real chance of running a possibly good article into the ground. Pup t 01:46, 9/08/2009

edit hey

Divide

Image you could use for HowTo:Achieve World Domination in a Recession. --Docile hippopotamus 00:57, 9 August 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!!

Hand delivered by MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 22:02, 10 August 2009 (UTC)

edit Domination

Anything to replace that mexican man joke? It's a bit basic. Otherwise the whole idea looks OK to me. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 18:00, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

Gotta think about it a bit. Fart jokes are the basis of our existence so it's going to have to be about that. How about "someone on a protein diet"? Leave out mention of flatulence, let the reader think it out (not hard). How about gathering the gas from the toilet of the local gym, where everyone is on a protein diet? -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 18:08, 15 August 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are!

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:27, Aug 18

edit Sig

Remove the Sir thingy from your sig until you've earned it. Thanks. ~Jewriken.GIF 21:20, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

edit You mind explaining why you're harrassing noobs?

This guy was just offering to help and you jumped all over him. Who exactly do you think you are tell other people to come back when they have written something funny? Please stop trolling and do some work-- remarkable Ape (accentuate) (Riot Porn) 23:47, 18 August 2009 (UTC)

Seconded, and the next time you call a noob asking a question a noob-tard, I'll make sure to express my opinion in a more stern manner. ~Jewriken.GIF 08:07, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
To be fair Mr 9000 "jumped all over him" by calling him a troll and banning him for a week. --Docile hippopotamus 08:30, 19 August 2009 (UTC)
To be fair, this isn't an open day on Shroom's talk page. Without looking into the other guy's attributes, this is not the way to treat other noobs. No need to add further to this discussion. ~Jewriken.GIF 08:40, 19 August 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 20th August, it's not late, your mom is!

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 11:01, Aug 24

edit Flying Sperm Whale

Whalewings

Is this about right? Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:02, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

edit Bad Shroom

Just let his talkpage be. If he wants it blank, let him. It's not important. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:04, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

edit HowTo Kick Ass

I liked your HowTo:Achieve World Domination in a Recession. Maybe with some edits you could get it featured! Also I just joined today but I edited Wikipedia a lot. Am I too new to vote for VFH? Why do I need to provide this? 04:36, September 2, 2009 (UTC)

Hey, I'll answer your question, since so far as I know Bad Shroom is currently banned. There is no such thing as too new to vote for VFH, we accept votes from anyone (even those without a account, though their votes only count half). You can nominate whatever you want for VFH as well, though nominating utter crap may get you in trouble. I would recommend reading some of our featured content to familiarise yourself with the standard here, although, in the end, you should vote for whatever you find funny and against what you don't. Hope that helps. -- remarkable Ape (accentuate) (Riot Porn) 14:15, September 2, 2009 (UTC)
I was just banned for one day. and thank you, Why do I need to provide this, for supporting my article.--Almost Sir Random Crap

edit wtf

Bad Shroom, I'm sure I'm not the first to tell you this but I really don't like your attitude. In fact it seems as if a lot of people on Uncyc don't really like you. Chuck Norris was not created by God.

--24.44.44.68 22:43, September 3, 2009 (UTC)

P.S. I'm cowguru2000.

God was created by Chuck Norris. Why do I need to provide this? 11:58, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
It could be argued in theology that Chuck Norris, as represtenting the human race, is more likely to have created 'God' than God to create Chuck Norris. mAttlobster. (hello) 12:02, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
It could also be argued that you're a large marine crustacean. Why do I need to provide this? 12:11, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
I would encourage you to construct such an argument. mAttlobster. (hello) 12:23, September 4, 2009 (UTC)
If I can deduce, it seems you two are having an argument on another man's talkpage. Lobster, non-providing user, if you two would kindly excuse yourselves.--Almost Sir Random Crap
Shut-it Shroom face. mAttlobster. (hello) 13:47, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 4th September

-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:55, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

edit Hey there cunty fuck

You totally stole my sig thing! That makes me sad. (Also, cunty fuck is a term of affection, not abuse, here in Ireland, so don't go crying about it.) -- remarkable Ape (accentuate) (Riot Porn) 22:47, September 6, 2009 (UTC)

edit Quasi Featured

Is for articles that got at least 50% of the votes that the leading article on the day of the removal from the queue. As your article didn't get that, it's not eligible for quasi-feature. ~Jewriken.GIF 14:51, September 7, 2009 (UTC)

I'm newer here than you are, Bad Shroom, but from what I've seen you're a talented, funny writer who pushes a bit too far into oldtimer/admin territory. You might want to try to pretend to be modest. Yeah, I know, if people were really modest nobody would think their work was good enough to post here and this site wouldn't exist. Come to think of it, the Internet wouldn't exist. But here, pretending might help keep away the rabid pterodactyls. WHY??? 20:22, September 7, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost Randomber -33th

In a few words, please think of the homosexual</noinclude> padlocks! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:48, 7 September 2009

edit Thanks!

edit A miserable thanks

Thank you for supporting! (In case you need a translation, here's one.) MacManiasig.png MacManiasig-cheerios.png MacManiasig-holmes.png MacManiasig-starwars.png MacManiasig-firefly.png MacManiasig-pixar.png MacManiasig-oregon.png MacManiasig-lesmiz.png MacManiasig-doctor.png 16px-HalLogo.png Portal16px.png UncycLensFlare16px.pngDalek16px.png 16px-ChekhovSig.png16px-JapanSig.png Sir MacMania GUN[21:10 14 Sep 2009]

edit usp

hey shroom. thanks for helping out with the signpost this week. are you going to finish that article off, or do you want me to? i'm going to actually try to get it finished and delivered tomorrow. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 08:23, September 19, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost September 10/17

This would've gotten here last week, but it's my firs week as paperboy and I got lost. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:20, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009

Hand delivered by MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 16:35, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

edit Noob Tanks

Voting thanks Why do I need to provide this?
My Mommy says always say
Thank You
for voting for Why?
as Noob of the Month
for September 2009.

edit HowTo Pee on Your Attempt to Achieve World Domination in a Recession

I Pee Reviewed HowTo:Achieve World Domination in a Recession based on version 4121870 of 24 Sept. 2009. I'm sorry it took almost a month for somebody to get around to reviewing this--the time lag for last month was ridiculous. Fortunately, some of us are working to catch things up. I hope I technically shouldn't have reviewed this because I made a few very minor edits to the article myself. In any case, hope my review helps! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 20:05, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

Please see my comments on Finsh'd on my talk page. Thanks. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 22:17, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:32, October 5, 2009 (UTC)


edit hi

You know if you don't like me you can tell me and not someone else. But, anyway could you be more specif in what I did that I should get banned for. I made one forum that you don't like and you just might not have seen my articles please tell me what I did.--Click meNO NOT ME!! I don't care if you click me 00:32, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

edit Welcome

to IC. Feel free to add the appropriate template to your user page. -OptyC Sucks! Icons-flag-us CUN17:21, 9 Oct

edit Imperial Colonization and other "Collaborations"

I'm posting a comment here instead of at Uncyclopedia talk:Imperial Colonization/project because I realized I needed to back away from that for a bit. Seriously, thank you for your comment, even if it was tongue-in-cheek insulting (or tongue-in-cheek complimenting). I started to post another rant, then thought "B.S. is right. I really do need to back away and shut up." So really, I agree with you. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 22:44, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

You are welcome.--Bad Shroom 22:57, October 9, 2009 (UTC)

edit your article -how to acheive.... um.. something or other....

I don't know if you noticed my changes to the VFH page. My feelings I think are pretty similar to Miley's, except I don't believe in abstaining - you're either against the terrorists, or with them! I'm currently working on giving you some feedback that can halp you. I've never done a PEE review before, but I've been told repeatedly that I should be an editor instead of working with computers. I hope to have some constructive feedback for you within the next hour or so left on its talk page. All better now? :D -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 18:47, Oct 10

Ahh but this is not a standard review! I'm going through it line by line fixing grammatical errors and leaving comments on everything that leaves me underwhelmed. It's not just a review on the article as a whole, it's leaving feedback and suggestions on each small part I don't quite like. That's why I'm probably going to take an hour or so. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 18:54, Oct 10
If you look at the reviews made by people such as ChiefjusticeDC, Miley Spears, and, ahem, myself, you'll find that's the way we often do Pee Reviews (although I don't think any of us make changes to an article we Pee Review until and unless the author has had a chance to look at our suggestions and tell us if they want their reviewer butting in.) WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:07, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
I was going to post "If you don't mind me making a lot of edits, I wouldn't mind." But I see you have someone else who's volunteered to help. I notice that some of the against votes were mild, and it looks like they're potential fors with improvements. I would suggest, however, that you not ask a number of people to help at the same time because you can end up with a situation like what just happened with Teh_pwnerator and I. Also once something's nominated I think people here don't like changes being made to an article (other than very minor grammatical fixes) because they feel like the article they voted for is not the same article. For example, I wouldn't recommend changing a photo in the middle of a nomination. I hope this helps! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:01, October 10, 2009 (UTC)
I call editing the talk page, you can make edits to the article! that way we won't edit conflict. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 19:05, Oct 10
Oh, uh, good ideas from both of you. God, I ask for one featured article and I get a media circus. Thanks ahead, anyway!-Almost Sir Random Crap
(Now we're trying to edit this talk page at the same time). I appreciate your suggestion, Teh PWNerator, but personally it would be easier for me to simply make edits to the article after other editors have done their work rather than compare the article to edits made on a talk page and then try to edit. I won't be making any edits to it before Monday anyway. WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:12, October 10, 2009 (UTC)

I just added some of my first pass through part of your article to the talk page. please don't edit the talk page for your article yet, i hate haet hat edit conflicts -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 19:21, Oct 10

ok, look on the talk page for my words of wisdom. For the parts I gave you suggestions on what to say, it was a general idea, not a word for word, and it would be a lot better for you to take those ideas and word them how you think would be best (at least, if you choose to take them). Also I like your pictures except for the first one, to which I can only say 'scuse me, but what? it doesn't seem to match with anything else in the entire article. -- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 21:17, Oct 10

edit How to...

Hey. World Domination needs some significant work, and by putting it on VFH while work is still progressing is self destructive, and arguing on a VFH nom is self destructive. Take the entire article and dump it onto a user page, and start writing all sorts of random bullshit, no matter how corny, crap or not. Expand this to about twice the size it is now. And then start cutting bits out that you don't like as much as others, until it's about half the length again. At the moment it is too short, and it needs a better format.

As an example have a look at the way this article changed over time

Which is a long and complicated way of saying that this is a good article as it is, but it is an article in the process of becoming FA. It needs more work, and I'd suggest get numerous reviews before you look at putting this forward again.

Sorry if I seem to pontificating, but I think this shows some real promise and has some real highlights. I would like to see it feature, so I'd be very happy to see it worked on a substantial amount. Pup t 07:48, 11/10/2009

Ditto what Puppy said. When I first put something up on Sun Bee, I got a note to read how to be funny not stupid. I worked on it, and got it Pee Reviewed (my score was a dismal "nearly adequate"). I worked on it, followed other people's suggestions, etc., and right now it's on VFH with a score of 8 (last time I checked). WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:28, October 12, 2009 (UTC)

edit Synesthesia

I moved your article here, in your userspace, as the ICU expired, but I figured it had too much potential to delete. Work on it a bit more here before you return it to mainspace. Good luck! --UU - natter UU Manhole 08:56, Oct 12

edit I looked at the thing in the place and...

...while cool, I don't know enough about it to be able to help. Sorry. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:02, October 13, 2009 (UTC)

edit Welcome to UnNews

I've moved your article to User:Bad Shroom/NASA launches Rockets at Moon for Water; Recession being ignored because it's not really qualified to be considered a viable UnNews article. I moved it rather than ICU as a courtesy. Read my welcoming drivel below for ideas as to why, and ideas on how to make it better.


Che Ape

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Bad Shroom, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost Sometime October 2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 01:09, Oct 16

edit HowTo:Achieve World Domination in a Recession

Congratulations on getting HowTo:Achieve World Domination in a Recession made the Featured HowTo! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:27, October 17, 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, you can thank me for that. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:55, 17 October 2009

I just had a thought. I think my User:Why do I need to provide this?/HowTo:Be Homeless in America may have been partially inspired by your article. I didn't do that conciously, but your article might have been in the back of my head. If so, thanks! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 01:48, October 17, 2009 (UTC)

edit Bad Shroom's bee says

Sun bee cave Sun Bee thanks for voting for our extinct species which will be featured on 21 Oct. 2009. Because you voted for, you are entitled to one jar of Sun Bee brand hot virgin honey. If you can find us.

WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 05:47, October 20, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 22nd 23rd October 2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 18:06, Oct 23

edit UnSignpost 29-10-2009

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 01:29, Nov 3

edit Stormtrooper

Hi Bad, I have a vague idea about your stormtrooper article. It goes something like the one in Kafka's Giant Mole (not sure of the english name but it's about a giant garden mole or such). Start out by playing the character up quite a bit: make it look as if he had great deeds ahead of him. Phrases like "destiny", "violent future", "the abyss he was destine to fall into", "the ghastly vortex of his future" or shit like that. (In other words, change the structure some, sorry). No jokes there. Then, build it up to some sort of climax - and then trail off to something related, trail further off, and let the whole thing peter out in the end. It takes sveral sessions to do it properly, and probably the use of footnotes to make it work (since those can mislead the reader nicely). Just the way I would do it of course. But since you have picked a character that has no significance, of course you would want to lead the reader to believe he has some significance after all - and cheat him. It's gotta be subtle to be a good joke but can be done. Oh yes and use the actual Kafka trick there: don't mention the stormtrooper at all in the final chapter or two, but just keep to the related stuff, whatever it is. Related enough to justify including it - but barely. -- Style Oranssiviiva Guide 09:15, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

edit Okay, you mangy colonists.

I've been commissioned by Mooshy to rerererevitalize IC. I'm to be the glorious leader, etc. because Sissy, Gerry, and Opty have all fucked off. So, I have a few general ideas to start with on what to do. First of all, no fucking infighting. What's said by the authority figures goes. This is Imperial Colonization, not Imperial United States Congress. Second, there should be more of a limit on articles for nomination. Somewhere between 5 and 10. We'll never get to all 17 that are up there if people's votes are so scattered. Third, an active recruiting drive. It fits the name. We're going to draft Satirical Soldiers to deal with the bloody natives at those shit articles on IC. This said, I still want to hear all of your opinions on what to do. Either drop me a line on my talk page, or I'm on IRC damn near all day very weekday. So lets get going, Colonizers! Where the Wild Colins Are - LET THE WILD RUMPUS START! 16:57, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

edit It's two babies!

I had a baby
Babfing

It's a baby and her name is Puffskein! And look, she's already learning sign language!

Mermaid baby

Father Why? has another baby! It's a bouncing little mermaid.

And then another baby! Please say hi to your new second cousins or cousins twice removed or something, Puffskein and Little Mermaid! Compassrose Father WHY??? (confessions)  19:24, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

edit Where ya been?

Also where ya been? WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:24, November 30, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost Delivery! - December something!

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 00:07, December 30, 2009 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost January several-days-agoth

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter UU Manhole 10:12, Jan 18

edit UnSignpost 21th January 2009

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 17:31, Jan 21

edit UnSignpost 28th January 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 14:50, Jan 28

edit ATTENTION COLONIZER

Duty Calls! Imperial Colonization has been commandeered! With a shiny new, waterproof coat, we're heading out to sea once again. We need you for our next colonization. You have one week to nominate or vote from right now, Sunday the 31st of January 2010, to Saturday the 6th of February 2010. (See Protocol for how to nominate an article for Colonization. And remember, if you vote for an article that means you intend to help colonize it.) Then starting Sunday, 7 February 2010, we will start colonizing another savage land (i.e., improving whichever article gets the most votes). Come on board and vote or nom now, to the glory of Her Majesty!

EXTRA: Our most recent colonization, Transformers, has just been Pee Reviewed. If you're interested in making improvements, please check out the article and the review. With a little work, we may have another glorious Feature article! Wouldn't that be just spiffy? And remember, if you participate and this does get featured, you get one half feature credit!

For the Glory of Her Majesty and by Order of your Fearful Fearless Leader, WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 19:39, January 30, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 4th February 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 15:07, Feb 4

edit ATTENTION COLONIZERS: WE ARE RECREATING CREATIONISM

The Bible says God created the world in six days by himself--our crew of talented colonizers can surely recreate an article in a week and a half! Remember, any Colonizer is welcome to work on our current project, which is the Creationism article. But before you begin, check "READ THIS FIRST" at the top. From Sunday, 7 February to Wednesday, 10 February 2010, a hearty crew of brave colonizers plotted a strong course for the article by consensus. We have the beginning of a great colonization, so go forth and colonize to the glory of Her Majesty!

Special Note for Lobsterbacks (i.e. those who signed up but haven't yet worked on a successful colonization). We plan to keep your name on the honored membership list if you make worthwhile contribution to the article or other parts of Imperial Colonization between 31 January 2010 and the end of this project. If your name is removed from the list, you are welcome to reapply when you plan to become active. Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  05:17, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 11th February 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 12:57, Feb 11

edit UnSignpost 18th February 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 23:31, Feb 18

edit UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 20:38, Feb 28

edit Imperial Colonization: Creationism and Batman

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on my talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == Your comments == below my signature and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

edit The seventh day of Creationism

If you haven't heard the rumour, it's true. The new and improved and absolutely perfect version of Creationism has been created. And because it was so perfect, we got it Pee Reviewed so it could be even more perfect. Post-review edits are being done, and will be completed very soon so our colonized version can replace the current Creationism.

I gave credit on The Big Board to every colonizer who worked on the article (if I somehow missed you, put a note on my talk page). I really appreciate everyone's help; I think we have a great article. If this gets featured, however, I feel that only those who made the more substantial contributions should get co-feature credit. Otherwise, someone could add two words and get 1/2 credit for writing a feature article, which doesn't seem fair. (But note that half a dozen people or more could each get 1/2 credit; that's one of the advantages of being a colonizer as aren't limited by the laws of mathematics). Any opinions on this or anything in this notice are welcome on the IC talk page. Buccaneers traditionally work by group consensus, and I'm all for sharing the blame tradition.

edit I'm Batman

Our current colonization is Batman. Writing on it begins now. By consensus built over the past few days, this will feature a psychiatrist talking with Bruce Wayne, a delusional Arkham Asylum mental patient who thinks he is some hero named Batman--or is he delusional? See I'M BATMAN for the guidelines for this article.

Any colonizer is welcome to edit the article! Any non-colonizer who wants to apply is welcome to do so on the Imperial Colonization page. We promise we won't throw you to the sharks. Well, probably not.

edit The future

We are taking nominations and votes for our next project. As per previous IC discussions, old nominations which aren't in the lead and which haven't received any recent votes will be removed. Check out the current nominations before they fade into history--but an article removed from the list can certainly be renominated. Nominate and vote on the IC page.

Go forth and colonize! Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems)  03:43, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 00:05, Mar 6

edit UnSignpost 11th March 2010

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 10:57, Mar 12

edit Imperial Colonization Buccaneer Admiral walking the plank!

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on the IC talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == (Your comments) == below my signature, or click the + tab up above, and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

Actually, I'm looking for a temporary assistant/permanent successor as head of Imperial Colonization. I got put in charge of IC because I kept bugging a certain admin. I'd say, "Why isn't somebody doing this with IC?" and "Why isn't somebody doing that with IC?" So that admin basically said "Why, you're somebody; go do it" (see discussion here). But as you can see, I took on the position planning to update IC, get it moving again, and see it through one colonization. Well, that happened. IC was updated and reactivated and, thanks to some great colonizers, Creationism was recreated in a spirit of cooperation, was rewritten on deadline, was Pee Reviewed and, as a bonus, was voter-chosen as a feature article within about a day of being nommed. Our current project, Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman is scheduled to be written by 20 March, and then we'll begin another. IC is moving...and I'm looking for someone to keep it moving. If interested, please post a note on the IC talk page--experienced and successful users only need apply. Ability to say "ARRRRR" like a pirate is not required, but would be nice.


WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 16:54, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

edit Imperial Colonization Buccaneer Admiral walking the plank!

IMPORTANT: If you want to make comments on any part of this message, please post your comments on the IC talk page. I've sent this notice out to about 40 people, and will likely never see your response if you put it on your talk page. But if you insist on doing it anyway (sigh), please at least start a new section using == (Your comments) == below my signature, or click the + tab up above, and make comments there. This message is set up as a template, so if you try to make edits in this message, it will edit it everywhere, and get me nasty notes from admins.

Actually, I'm looking for a temporary assistant/permanent successor as head of Imperial Colonization. I got put in charge of IC because I kept bugging a certain admin. I'd say, "Why isn't somebody doing this with IC?" and "Why isn't somebody doing that with IC?" So that admin basically said "Why, you're somebody; go do it" (see discussion here). But as you can see, I took on the position planning to update IC, get it moving again, and see it through one colonization. Well, that happened. IC was updated and reactivated and, thanks to some great colonizers, Creationism was recreated in a spirit of cooperation, was rewritten on deadline, was Pee Reviewed and, as a bonus, was voter-chosen as a feature article within about a day of being nommed. Our current project, Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization/Batman is scheduled to be written by 20 March, and then we'll begin another. IC is moving...and I'm looking for someone to keep it moving. If interested, please post a note on the IC talk page--experienced and successful users only need apply. Ability to say "ARRRRR" like a pirate is not required, but would be nice.


WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 16:57, March 17, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 18th March 2010 (on time as always)

9001(bot) Icons-flag-gb HalIcon.png MrNCyber.JPG 11:42, Mar 18

edit Discordianism vote needed quickly and member retirement

VOTE DISCORDIAN NOW: We need your vote! On both Creationism and Batman, colonizers who participated came to a consensus on a direction for the article. But on Discordianism, there's been more discord--or at least not a consensus. So we're resorting to (sigh) democracy. Go to Uncyclopedia_talk:Imperial_Colonization/Discordianism#Article_ideas and cast your vote!

You can vote for one or two, comment on as many as you like, but vote quickly--this is an eleventh hour effort, and we will hopefully have a direction in a few hours. I'll be checking the results sometime around 03:00 UTC of 25 March 2010.

ARE YOU RETIRED?: Also note that colonizers who haven't participated in any of the last three colonizations will be moved to the retirement list. Quite frankly, I'm doing this primarily because I have to post each of these notices by hand (I don't have a bot, and sure could use one), and it takes a long time to post to the pages of people who are inactive in IC and even on Uncyclopedia. If you're put on the retirement list and want back on the active list, simply post a request on the IC talk page.

KEEP CHECKING THE IC TALK PAGE: Many important decisions and updates are made and/or described on the IC talk page that are never posted on user talk pages.

POST COMMENTS ON IC TALK. As usual, if you post them on your talk page, I'll likely never see them.


WHY'S REPLACEMENT NEED: A special added reminder that I, Why do I need to provide this? aka Compassrose IC Buccaneer Admiral WHY??? (stratagems) , am only interim director of IC and need a replacement. My intention was to lead IC just long enough to get it revived, which is a major part of the reason I took the title Buccaneer Admiral instead of Admiral of the Fleet, which is the official title of the head of Imperial Colonization. I plan to abandon ship retire shortly after midnight (UTC) on Saturday, 17 April 2010. I would really like someone to work with me on the current colonization, and I will be happy to assist whoever replaces me during the transition--I do not plan to leave IC, only retire as head. If you're interested, post a note at IC Admiral of the Fleet needed.

Happy colonizations! WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio 18:28, March 24, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 25th March 2010 (hand delivered for added flavour)

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 22:39, March 25, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time

                              Puppy's talk page00:40, June 5, 2009 Friday, 04:49, Apr 2 2010 UTC

edit UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.

MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:14, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 21:19, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost 1 May

Brought to you by fucking magic. Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:24, 1 May 2010

edit The UnSignpost Is Not Dead!

A new UnSignpost issue, another template spammed onto your talkpage, enjoy! Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:03, 24 June 2010

edit All the news that's unfit to print!

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 12:21, July 1, 2010 (UTC)

edit Signpost: normal service resumed

Oh dear god, am I really doing this again? --UU - natter UU Manhole 11:00, Jul 9

edit Another UnSignpost! Rejoice!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 10:23, 16 July 2010

edit Read all about it! The UnSignpost rides again!

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 14:05, July 22, 2010 (UTC)

edit It's new and it's news! It's the latest UnSignpost!

Sir SockySexy girls Mermaid with dolphin Tired Marilyn Monroe (talk) (stalk)Magnemite Icons-flag-be GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 16:06, 5 August 2010

edit Ruddy hell! It's the UnSignpost

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 12:07, August 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit Avast me hearties!

Colony Potato
By the powers! this e'er be fer a reminder o' tha great, grand Imperial Colonization be startin' up again!

Whether you be a sprog or a privateer we be expectin' ya ta come 'round an participate in this sweet trade lessen' you be a lily-livered squiffy, scallywag, or scurvy dog thar.


Aye! ~ Buccaneer Happytimes. Happytimes_pi.gif


The current project: Dinosaur

Now in the writing phase
(Oh UN:IC, how your rules are now broken....)

edit UnSignpost - This is definitely not late; you're just drunk

MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 12:56, September 9, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost - The UnSignpost Rides Again!

edit Read All About It!

--ChiefjusticeGameCube 14:26, November 18, 2010 (UTC)

edit Run for your lives! It's another UnSignpost.