User talk:Armando

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G'day Cobbers! Hope you brought your grog along. New messages at the top, if you don't mind, umpire. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 00:15, 3 August 2006 (UTC)

That number again: New messages at the top, please.

edit bitter, eh?

I'm just not man enough to handle bitter, sorry. The bobble head guy is cool, though... now pass me a joint, and I'll be happy. Thanks for your kind words. Continue to rock! Cheers! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 16:01, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Enough said about the cricketer/drinker dude. I don't drink much at all any more with my medications being what they are, but I wonder if there's any chance the little chap can also smoke incredible amounts of kif. If so, I can cannon-fodderize him as a saint in the low church of zimizm. If not... well, let's just hope we don't have to visit that dark little corner... Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:38, 9 January 2007 (UTC)

edit I saw you!

Now quit playing WoW and come back here! Don't force me to go all the way down under and spank you good! -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 06:24, 1 January 2007 (UTC)

  • Hey Armadillo, I emailed you at one of your many addresses, you shifty bastard. Are we gonna do Hosni or what? -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 04:58, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

Yes we do, so your email but didn't get the chance to answer yet. Too much damn work! So, you wannt go ahead and start it and leave me a link to join in? Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 13:44, 5 January 2007 (UTC)

edit Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum viditur


Ad perpetuam memoriam de Sol Invictus

Composure1, writer of UnNews and humble servant of Uncyclopedia, sends personal greetings to you [insert username here], on this festival for our glorious god Sol Invictus. While many heathen have long abandoned our undefeated sun god, especially since Emperor Theodosius I banned the holiday in the year 390, I know that you are a true believer like me. So I hope you are celebrating with all the necessary debauchery and sacrifices, and I wish you the very best. Orta recens quam pura nites Sol Invictus! --Composure1 19:02, 24 December 2006 (UTC)

edit Christmas is for monkeys with car keys

Karatechimp zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me!
the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!
Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 13:36, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

edit Template:Cambodge Infobox

Hi Armando. I have delinked your template from Cambodia and replaced it with the generic Template:Infobox Country using the same data. I have also taken the liberty of delinking your user page User:Armando/cambodia from the template in the same way. Hope you won't mind this intrusion. I intend placing Template:Cambodge Infobox in QVFD after 24 hours, unless you have an objection. regards, -- mowgli 05:27, 6 October 2006 (UTC)

edit secret project

psstt....take a look here and let me know if you'd like to help...-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 10:51, 28 September 2006 (UTC)

edit Good to have you back, have a cookie

Ahmdinajad Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

has awarded you a Nuclear missile
Now go and destroy the The Zionist Entity

This Template Will Self Destruct in Countdown seconds

-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 08:41, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

Aw, shucks. But I can't accept that nuke. Some of my best friends are Jews. Well, one. But she's only "culturally" Jewish. She doesn't go to the synagogue or anything. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 09:26, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

edit Lapsed Catholics and their guilt

Yeah, that could be a very funny article. And sure, I could write it after a hard day cooking for 18 children and hoping one of them will make something of himself some day, while you sit in the bathroom playing with yourself--don't think everybody doesn't know--and what will I tell everyone in church on Sunday, not that you'd ever show up?

I think I might be able to do a better job with the Jewish version, which you could write yourself if you'd studied harder instead of running around with your friends, but I guess you just have more important things to do, like chasing after that shiksa of yours, so I guess when Sadie starts going on about her son Barry the doctor I can just talk about your sister, not that I expect you to care after I carried you for nine months and two days.

I think I understand why Protestants need God now; they don't have the right kind of mothers. --User:Falcotron/sig 20:31, 6 September 2006 (UTC)

Catholicism is the worst -- you get the Jewish guilt without the Protestant work ethic. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 00:16, 7 September 2006 (UTC)
Plus, you don't get to date lapsed and borderline Catholic girls, which would really suck. --User:Falcotron/sig 01:17, 7 September 2006 (UTC)

edit I'm back!

And it seems that you did a very good job :) How was town while I was away? Any good news? Any new wars? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 12:44, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

Hey Mordeeyo, welcome back. Where did you go again? Germany? Can we look forwards to loads of Teutonic-related chuckles?

The only vote I solicited on your behalf was Falcotron's. Everyone else piled in of their own accord. You should be very proud. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 01:23, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

Indeed I am! :) it was Germany indeed, still trying to wrap around the temprature changes, rain in Germany and furnace in good old Israel....I hope it wouldn't come down to Teutonic humor because that would mean, probably, loads of jokes about tall blond women and beer. Come to think about it, that's no a bad idea at all!!!-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 11:33, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Google, Yahoo! join forces to combat "lol fraud"

Now that's a funny article! The edit conflict arose when I was adding a pic, and I deleted some of the text because it didn't make sense to me. However, I was tired and it was late, so I'll probably leave it in when I do it for audio. Thanks for a superb contribution. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 12:40, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

Hey Rev, Thanks for that. As always, you're doing a stellar job. I meant to say thanks for the pic too. Who was it? Alice Cooper? -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 01:25, 1 September 2006 (UTC)

edit AotM Vote

Hey, congratulations!!!
For voting for DiZ as Author of the Month , DiZ has awarded you by killing a martyr in your name! Don't feel guilty, he didn't pay his taxes anyways.
-- DiZ the Great

Once again, I thank thee in all your greatness decency mediocracy--uhh....anyways, thanx again....--Señor DiZtheGreat Cuba flag large CUN AOTM ( Worship me!) (Praise me!) (Join me!) AMEN! 20:39, 28 August 2006 (UTC)

edit The funniest article of the month

UnNews:Tensions_mount_between_dead_Austrian_Rap_legend_and_plate_of_polenta,_onlookers_annoyed, of course. The article about self-referential articles would have been funnier, but it forgot to reference itself. --Falcotron 07:58, 16 August 2006 (UTC)

Yeah, the "bitchin'" one rocked. All of his Lebanon stuff was great. But how often am I going to get insulted and mistaken for Falco at the same time? Plus, I think it was the first link to one of my articles, and what makes it even better is that Imrealized didn't even know it was my article. --Falcotron 08:07, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
Of course. When it's personal you're bound to remember it more. And it was pretty insulting. Sam Gamgee was way cooler than Frodo. Whiny little bastard he was. The polenta thing got put up for VFD. Any comments? -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 08:09, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
The news article? Do they even VFD those? I know it was renamed (a move and a QVFD of the old name) at least twice. Anyway, Sam and Frodo were both annoying. Especially in the interminable last 895 chapters at the end of the series after they'd already won. Now Frito, from Bored of the Rings... but I'd rather be Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt, who some call Stomper. I've always wished they'd make a movie of that; Keanu Reeves would be the perfect Stomper. --Falcotron 08:29, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
Sorry to barge in like this... recent changes, you know? While I'm here I'll tell you both the story. That whole, umm, situation really cracked me up, but I also wanted to maybe get others laughing, namely those who were getting a bit heated about it. So I made that pic and was gonna make it into a template saying something like, "Hey, Falco and Cornbread can be friends" (something like that, but funny, maybe?) and leave it on both of your talk pages. But after uploading the pic the idea of an UnNews story struck and I couldn't resist. I tried to make it as even-handed as possible and I hope you weren't too insulted, Falcotron. You're right though, I didn't know that you wrote the article on Falco until after I wrote the piece (although I did realize it before reading it here, I think I figured it out yesterday or the day before). Anyway, that's the story — hope you ain't mad at me. Keep up the excellent work (that goes out to both of ya). -- Imrealized ...hmm? 08:42, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
Whoa! I get it now. I'm the first to admit that I' not the sharpest sandwich in the picninc, but I had no idea what it was about. That is, like, so meta (is that the word for an in-joke?). I only thought it was insulting because Frodo is such a wuss... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 08:49, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
If I were mad, or too insulted, would I have called it the funniest news story of the month? I only wish I'd seen it a bit sooner; I tried to keep my sense of humor through the whole thing, but your story would have helped. (It got easier after it was Armando and Cornbread, for some reason....) P.S., I think the joke would have been more obvious if more people knew what polenta is--but Armando, didn't you hover over the links? Some of the best jokes are always hidden that way. --Falcotron 08:55, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
Actually, I don't think Frodo was a wuss. I think he was quite courageous. But he was still boring. And hopefully me and Senor Polenta will learn to co-exist (he showed me how to revert vandalism today). I got some of the jokes, Seinfeld, Spang... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 09:20, 16 August 2006 (UTC)-- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 09:20, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
Glad that you weren't too heavily insulted and thanks for the compliment on the article, but I gotta say that Some user's ending and an excellent audio by Rev Zim really made it, which isn't surprising — that guy's got a knack for verbal hilarity. His stuff is frequently on par, if not better, than the work of Ivan Stang on Subgenius radio. -- Imrealized ...hmm? 09:26, 16 August 2006 (UTC)
Don't worry, Armando, I don't think you need to apologize to Frodo; any character who could get through that whole Sharky bit without strangling his author obviously has admirable self-restraint. I haven't actually listened to the audio for most of the articles; I'll have to try it. I also haven't heard SubGenius radio since the last time I went to Burning Man (something like 10 years?). Meanwhile, I always wanted a puffy shirt (speaking of the homeless...). --Falcotron 09:31, 16 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Falcotron calling: Can I ask for your help again?

I have an article at User:Falcotron/Care Not Cash and a related news story at User:Falcotron/UnNews:San Francisco combats hardcore homeless problem. Everyone I show them to thinks they're funny, but I'm worried that unless you both live in San Francisco and know something about hardcore ravers they'll be pretty pathetic. So, since you were so helpful with my last news story, would you mind checking these out and commenting? Thanks. --Falcotron 05:53, 16 August 2006 (UTC)

edit User:Falcotron/Congress_Declares_"Proper_Time"_to_Admit_Mexicans

If you get a chance, please check it out and tell me what you think. It seems too long, but I'm not sure what to cut. Thanks. --Falcotron 09:24, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

edit The sun is shining, the birds are singing and tall men are making love in the bushes

I like to start the day (or at least the second half of it) with a clean slate and a clean date, so I've deleted those rather unedifying exchanges from the bottom of the page.

I don't think it reflected particularly well on me or the other principal party. I'll endeavour not to get my knickers in such a twist in future. Life's too short, the days are getting longer and I've knocked up a stepladder and got over it.

Tall men are making love in the bushes? Have you been drinking again? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 06:11, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

Maybe just a little. I don't bat for that team, if you catch my drift, but spring is in the air and the sap is rising all round... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 06:12, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

Lucky you, it's 9am and already 33 degrees.....btw, the most disturbing bit about the last discussion you had with a certain party is to find out that you're nearly 35 years old and have no life. Shame on you! :)-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 06:14, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

Well, up until recently I had something resembling a life. That's why I didn't lob here earlier ;-) -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 06:16, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

Oh, and how's the ceasefire treating you? -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 06:17, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

Tfu Tfu, at the moment it's quite and people are starting to go back home. Last night I finally managed to catch a friend who vanished for two weeks in Lebanon and his phone was off for the entire time...let's hope it's over. Of course, that god damned idiot Assad alrady said that he is now ready to take the Golan Heights by force if needed...idiot.

Btw, I'm going away for two weeks starting tommorow (vacation actually) so I'm appointing you the manager of the "Give Mordillo a Foolitzer" campaign!

Foolitzer This user is hereby nominated as the GIVE MORDILLO A FOOLITZER CAMPAIGN MANAGER. May god have mercy on his soul if he fails

-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 06:24, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

Cheers, but I don't think I'll need to be James Carville to get you that one. Aside from the fact that your work clearly merits it, you have seven votes and no-one else has even been nominated. Enjoy the break. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 06:35, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Shalom, you bitch!

My Dad said that once, and it cracked me up so badly, mostly because he didn't know what 'shalom' means. When I told him, he too cackled with frivolity. Thanks for your kind words about my audio shit, it's really lots of fun, moreso when I get feedback. Thanks! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 13:56, 6 August 2006 (UTC)

PS I think I read almost every Lovecraft book when I was 18, but I don't remember too much. Enough to appreciate your article, thought.

I'll see your salaam alaikum mother fucker and raise you 50 shekels. Heh heh... Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 00:16, 7 August 2006 (UTC)

It pleases me that my Dad's patented "Shalom, you bitch!" has inpired you to such depths! The fakakte pirate story is brilliant! By the way, use of "you" is crucial to capturing his essential insanity. I'm going to tell him, and he will be pleased. I'm certain it pleases Satan as well. Thanks for your comment on my... ahem... broadcast labours... heh heh. I'm getting professional help soon, but I'm hoping my meds will do until then. You rock! Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 22:35, 11 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Thanks!

Ha ha....I have to say that personally I think that Israeli women are one of the most gorgeous species around, add to that some uniform AND a big gun, and it's perfect! I was actually travelling in your back yard some three years back and was planning to come over but I got stuck with your Kiwi cousins for some seven months and my visa expired....promise to come back though! How'd you liked good ole' Israel? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 09:42, 6 August 2006 (UTC)

edit GNN

Thanks for the compliments. Your articles are really good, too. I really like the whole GNN thing. I can't believe you haven't written an article about goannas yet. Sir Àrd-Easbaig Gearcemeanaigh Mac Ádhaimh, UmP (Talk - Articles) Icons-flag-ie-Icons-flag-us KUN SEXY WH20:50, 3 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Tedious Answer

The vicar doesn't mind answering questions, so long as he doesn't look foolish in attempting to answer. Oh, and I've put up a shade in my bathroom window, so don't bother coming by to fantasize about me while watching me wash up. As for your question, the reason it didn't show on the UnNews Main page is that the template call:

{{news|2 August 2006}}

got deleted when you created the article, apparently. No worries, I fixed it, so your stellar reportage can now be revealed to the world in it's full glory. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 12:14, 3 August 2006 (UTC)

P.S. I stole your ""Dick sez"" thingy, and will make it into a template if you approve. Fucking second-hand smokers!

edit Greetings and salivations

Thanks very much for your kind words about my audio stuff, it encourages me to override my base instinct towards most things, which is to say, ""fuck it". FYI, you may notice I've changed the formatting of your articles somewhat. I took my cue from the guidelines, and begin with "ALLCAPS, First Letter Caps -- ", followed by the story, In the case of your stuff, it would look like this

WANGARATTA, Australia GNN (GOANNA NEWS NETWORK) -- First-:time blogger Angelina Jones ... etc.

It's not a big deal, but I like to encourage a certain style, if you will. Also, we like links in the articles like this:

[[Link term]]

or like this. Or this: this. Also, filling in the info for Sources lends "credibility", and they're better at times when they're made up.

Anyway, like everything else here, I am ignorable, so please don't take any of what I say as derogatory. In fact, I enjoy your stuff, which is why I tidy up and read it.

Again, thanks for the recognition. Being internationally renowned is my primary goal. Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 14:54, 2 August 2006 (UTC)

P.S. I just love Goanna News Network. I was thinking a story about UnNews buying out GNN might be funny. Let me know what you think.

Glad to hear that shiny beer cans might work. Do they need to be filled with actual beer? Keep up the good... uh, work... and I use the word loosely ;) Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 00:03, 3 August 2006 (UTC)

edit Australia

Australia (the new Sports stuff, apart from the ACL, and parts of the Culture) - you are a dick if you can't handle the section on ACL. RAther than scrubbing it write something witty about NZ cricket on the NZ page. Tho it will be hard to find among the sheep jokes. G'day! Nice to meet you too. What's your name? I'd reply personally but I've only got your IP. Funnily enough, I was actually at the MCG for that game and, yes, Greg and Trevor Chappell (that's how you spell their name) were idiots. And New Zealand would have had the game wrapped up much earlier had Martin Snedden's blinder of a catch been paid. I was pretty clued in to the rage in the Shaky Isles pretty much straight away when the Kiwis in the stand above us tore up their styrofoam Eskys and threw all the pieces (and the ice) down on top of us.

Anyways, I do think your ACL idea has merit, but I also think the Sports section is a lot better now than it was yesterday. (And I was responding to an open request to clean the bastard up). In any case, it's all about the greater good and not our wee egos. And in this case Oz page uber-arbiter Colonel Swordman has already said the sports section is too long and some of it will have to be moved. So now that you've reverted your stuff we've both run our undies up the flagpole and we'll have to wait to see who salutes.

What are you anyway, a Kiwi? Why don't you write something on the New Zillund page? I've never even been to NZ. I'm saving it for a geriatric bus tour. --Armando 12:11, 30 July 2006 (UTC)

edit "Maree Men"

Nice work, Armando, but now since the sports section has become too big, some of the stuff will have to go onto a seperate page. Hope you don't mind.

As regards the signature thingy, all you need to do is to make a new user subpage called "User:Armando/sig", put the following script in it:

[[User:Armando|Armando]] [[Image:Icons-flag-au.png]]

and then change your nickname from "Armando" (or whatever you have got on the "preferences" page) to "{{SUBST:nosubst|User:Armando/sig}}".

-- The Colonel (talk) 11:05, 30 July 2006 (UTC)

edit Welcome!

Hello, Armando, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Again, welcome!  -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

edit Chicks on Speed

Thanks for your comments.

Sir Cornbread just doesn't get the joke, and I'm not sure how to explain it in a way that's funny. Meanwhile, I'm trying to find a way to expand it without ruining the joke. Do you think twisting more of their lyrics to fit the rant would work, or is it too much already?

By the way, just out of curiosity, did you know the chick on coke was a pic of Kate Moss during her coke scandal, or was it funny for some other reason? --Falcotron 03:08, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

Now that I think about it, you're right. It would be next to impossible to make it longer without making it less funny. --Falcotron 03:48, 12 August 2006 (UTC)
OK, slightly less actual text, but it's longer on the page and in raw bytes because I added headings and stuff. So, is it better this way, or worse? And does the Tom Tom Club quote require you to know Tina "Tom Tom Club" Weymouth worked with CoS on a cover of her own song to be funny? --Falcotron 04:57, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

Well, after the admins removed his third NRV, Cornbread had a hissy fit and wiped out the discussion on his talk page and put the article up for deletion. Can you please vote to keep the CoS page at Uncyclopedia:Votes_for_deletion#Chicks_on_Speed? Thanks. --Falcotron 21:16, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

Actually, Sbluen suggested I put up on VFD you moron. I archived the talk because of your stupidity making 8 topics as long as about 50 topics. IF YOU'RE GOING TO RESPOND, DO IT HERE, NOT ON MY TALK PAGE! Oh, and Armando, sorry I had to use your page for this, I have no problems with you. -- Sir C Icons-flag-us Holla | CUN 21:28, 12 August 2006 (UTC)
I'm not going to argue with you on someone else's talk page. If you want to shout in all caps and call me names, do it on either my talk page, or your own. --Falcotron 21:40, 12 August 2006 (UTC)

edit It's Hammer Time!

Thanks mate! You just got me an idea for an article about the Hebrew Hammer....But thanks indeed! I need some good humor today, since the news are fucking horrible....-- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 09:09, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

Never did actually...don't think it played around here...worth downloading ordering from Amazon? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 16:28, 13 August 2006 (UTC)

Oh, and I completly forgot to give you a big thumbs up for the UnNews:Pastafarian uprising stuns Middle East. It's the cream of the gefulte fisch! I think you earn the following fare and square:

Jew This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled for all honors and persecutions as such.

edit Mexico's 1848 borders

I love your news article. But did you know that America fought that war to force Mexico to sell California to us? Why does nobody follow our example? I mean, if Israel had just written up a sale contract for the Golan Heights et al, then destroyed their neighbors' armies and forced them to sign, they would have gotten away with it. Once you deposit the money, the sale is final and all that. (They still would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddlesome kids, with their scooby snacks, and the rock throwing.) You might think the same principle wouldn't have worked so well for, say, Iraq in Kuwait, because it's hard to pay off a country when you seize the whole thing, but it seems to work in most grand strategy computer games. --Falcotron 11:25, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

The US actually paid for California? I guess you learn something every day, huh? -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 11:27, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

Yep. I'm sure Wikipedia has a page on the treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo. We actually negotiated a pretty fair treaty considering that we'd completely annihilated their army. Unfortunately, the version the Senate ratified isn't the same one Mexico signed, which is why, e.g., Rancho San Vicente is now Beverly Hills, Mexicans can't get drivers licenses in California, etc. Come to think of it, you could probably write a funny article on Congress finally deciding that it's "the proper time" to admit Mexicans, as they promised they'd do soon in 1848. --Falcotron 11:40, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

Hmmm... sounds like you'd be better qualified to do that piece... Pretty wild how they just waltzed in and captured Mexico City, huh? Let me know if you want to collaborate on something about it. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 13:14, 14 August 2006 (UTC)

Let me look up the details of the war and the treaty to see if I can find enough funny stuff. I've never written an UnNews article before. --Falcotron 02:19, 15 August 2006 (UTC)

edit American Fundie Magazine

This humble Uncyclopedian thanks you for your vote. It warms my jaded heart to know that there is, indeed, a place for satire on Uncyc, even the blunt, spooky shit.--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 11:03, 23 September 2006 (UTC)

No worries, MO. Thank 'you' for writing it. I thought it was very funny and salient (Merriam-Webster def.3. Though, for the record, I think Noah Webster was a bloody drongo). Glad to see it got featured, though I had feared that it was a bit too well-thought out for popular taste. It seems that "random humour" is by far the cleverest kind... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 07:51, 27 September 2006 (UTC)
I think that the main reason it got featured was the "Fundie" in the page title scared away most of the people who'd have potentially against'd. Most people, of liberal standing, avoid that word like the plague; it's only the nuts that dig it (in this case the good kind of nuts). I'm just glad I'm not the only one; just writing for myself would be kind of sad, like a diary, but on the interweb...--Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 14:19, 27 September 2006 (UTC)

edit Xmas?

Hannukah Mordillo is a bloody Jew and therefore believes that Xmas is plain silly, Jesus was a nice Jewish boy with some weird ideas, Santa is an old drunk and socks are meant to be put on your cold smelly feet.

However, since it's not your fault for being born to the wrong nation, you might as well enjoy a very HAPPY HANUKKAH and rejoice, for once again the Greeks had one coming.
Only 4.5 months left till Passover, start looking for Christian kids for the preparation of the Matzo Bread!

Come back already will ya? -- Brigadier Sir Mordillo Icons-flag-il GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI3 AnotM VFH +S 07:30, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

edit Merry Christmas!

Tvcc Hindleyite was throwing away last year's Christmas cards, and
realised they had purposefully forgotten about you.
This user doesn't care about Multi-culturalism,
and DEMANDS you have a Merry Christmas... NOW!

And a Happy Commercial Conformity Period, best wishes, hope you lose in the Boxing Day Test... darn underperforming cricketers :D -- Hindleyite Converse 19:58, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

edit Image

Do you really think that Goatse-esque image is necessary in your article? ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 22:31, 7 September 2007 (UTC)

  • Hey amigo. I didn't think it was a shock image. I thought that in the context of a story about testicular medicine it was almost appropriate.... But if you want to change it feel free. Maybe I'll have a look for something else, but good testicle pics are hard to come by.... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 06:09, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

That's the second edit in two days. Can I officialy declare you as reanimated?! ~Jewriken.GIF 09:57, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

  • Salaam aliakum, amigo. Como estas? Yeah... maybe I'm back to some degree. I'd eventually come to realise that my World of Warcraft addiction had turned me into some kind of Amy Winehouse (minus the eye makeup), so I uninstalled the game and let my girlfriend ceremonially snap all the discs.

Whether or not that's a good thing remains to be seen -- I'm currently drinking beer, listening to loud Motley Crue and considering writing a bullshit news story about the size of the cocks of the world leaders at the APEC conference. How are things in the Promised Land? -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 05:31, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

Unsurprisingly, hot. Very much so. And dangerous as always, winds of war etc....bloody idiots can't ran the country properly :). Hey, at least the rapist president finally resigned! Also, are you telling me that you sold us all for the sake of WoW?!?! ~Jewriken.GIF 23:39, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

edit Alright, let's make a deal

You stop sneaking in and out once every three months and come more often, and I won't leave you a "hey! I saw that!" messages every time you do that. Deal? ~Jewriken.GIF 06:55, 29 November 2007 (UTC)

  • Hey amigo! Good idea. How are things in sunny Zion these days? Things here in Oz are good -- summer, cricket, beer.... -- 00:35, 6 January 2008 (UTC)

edit It's the time of the month again!

Everything is good in Zion! :) When are you coming back on permanent basis? ~Jewriken.GIF 10:43, 27 February 2008 (UTC)

Eh, permanent? I dunno. I just dip in and dip out... -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 03:32, 28 February 2008 (UTC)

edit Award from UN:REQ

Thumbs up2

This user created Cambodia, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)

edit UnNews:Cosmic Psychos, Hard-Ons, Skid Row unaware of related iTunes downloads

I changed the name of your UnNews to abide by our rigid naming conventions (the punishment of a second offense is castration, though, so watch it). Check out our style guide and the section Cuntent (subsection Title) for a rather speedy description of what we're looking for. I also fixed your red links by adding Wikipedia links - change if you want, but red links have been known to kill puppies, especially on Thursdays - and I changed your source to "Original": Next time you put in a source, please abide by the guidelines or the result is something more ugly than Michael Moore's left ass cheek. ~ Humbuck Talk 02:59, 20 May 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for that. Your dedication is admirable (and I couldn't for the life of me work out how to fix that source thing). I thought the odd red link was OK since it might encourage people to create articles, but if there's a no-red policy now that's cool. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 08:12, May 26, 2011 (UTC)

There's not exactly a "no red link" policy; it just looks bad and studies show that they only depress users by showing what hasn't been written yet. ~ Humbuck Talk 19:38, 26 May 2011 (UTC)

edit User:Armando/UnNews:Police search for sceptical vandal

The only reason I edited it, was because I was pretty turned off by the way some established users (including admins even) who were bad talking this article...something that users (and especially admins) should never ever do on talk pages the way they did, but especially with your article which was as fine as the majority of unnews articles. I found their comments revolting, totally exagerated and unconstructive. I am positive that this is the same reason Mattsnow stuck his nose in as well, he's a nice and helpful guy.
I can imagine, that this would all be frustrating for you, and equally so (I personally would have gone bonkers) if you find another user you don't know, has completely redone the article. I tried to make some little changes, but I got carried away and completely redid it. Oops! Sorry!  ;)
In any case, you shouldn't see your articles as crap (as they aren't), and you deffinately shouldn't let any of these people, passing off their opinions as divine truth, get to you. Even better, if you polish this piece up and leave smoking dust in their faces. That would be sweet.
p.s. consider signing up for or judging the happy monkey competition! All the cool kids are doing it! --ShabiDOO 02:05, February 10, 2012 (UTC)
Huh. That's weird. I didn't see the talk page (and it doesn't exist now). I'm intrigued. I guess I must have pissed people off by ragging on religion (or maybe by ragging on chiropractic). Nobody likes seeing their sacred cows being beaten.
And I didn't realise that that's why you were trying to help me. So thanks. I'm sorry I bit your head off the way I did. I was just exasperated and confused by it being huffed in the first place and then rewritten. I was like "WTF? It's just a shitty UnNews story. Why is everyone fucking with it?" I don't usually get shitty like that.
The Happy Monkey comp looks cool, but I don't think I'll be here when it's on. Good luck with it. -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 06:41, February 10, 2012 (UTC)
Theres no offense taken at all Armando, as it wasn't a big deal to begin with. If you go over the archives of my talk pages, you'll see me totally losing my patience several times with SPIKE, Lyrithya, Aimsplode and some guy who I think is now gone. I even wrote a five paragraph rant about spam and what not last month to critical acclaim (of stupidity). If you can't write the competition, consider judging. Have a nice weekend. --ShabiDOO 18:41, February 10, 2012 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Bloke not telling 7-Eleven clerks about armed robber any more

I liked it a lot, so did the guy I asked a second opinion to! I added some categories and enlarged the pic, didn't touch the text. I put it on the front page. Bye! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 19:05, February 9, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks, Matt. That's very kind of you =) Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP

edit UnNews, Tebow

Kicked him when he's down! I was paraphrase quoting the same verse to people when that nonsense was going on, and here you catch the point almost perfectly and then expertly add to it. Besides a few awkward moments towards the end and a couple too many "swear" words, your article is very feature worthy and puuuurrrrrrfect. Standing O. Aleister 13:05 14-2-'12

Really, you are way too kind. I know I'm only about the millionth person to call Matthew 6:5-6 on him. If you think there are too many fucks in there, feel free to take a couple out. I really shouldn't give so many =) -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 13:10, February 14, 2012 (UTC)

Well, ya, it's been said, but like a good uncyclopedian you took it to the next two levels. Thanks, I'll do a little edits and feel free to revert my ass. Thanks. It's too good a page not to be the best of its kind, imnho. Aleister 13:23 14-2-'12

Cheers. I liked your Gandhi story, BTW. =) -- Sir Armando Perentie Icons-flag-au KUN FP 13:26, February 14, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks, Gandhiji has nothing else to do but stand up for his people again. MrN9000 and I have the encyclopedic Gandhi article on VFH, though I don't know if you wander over there. UnNews is fun to write, and an hour play can get a good concept shaped up well enough to present, and then on some of the pages a couple weeks of polishing are the best route. I hope Tebow reads this one, even if you have to tie him down and read it to him. Aleister 18:38 Cupid Day '12
Back again after rereading your Tebow page, and I find it - word awesome comes to mind. Can I possibly keep editing and adding on the page? That would be fun. Please read what I edited in earlier, and see if it fits to your image of the page and its rythmn. Check out the Tim Tebow page here, something I "wrote" here, so I assure you I find him as hypocritical and unChristian as can be, in actually a fun sort of way. Thanks for considering that, and it'll be fine if you said no, because it was I who overstepped what you said and did more than take out a word. The topic is like a magnet it's so full of puffing the theme up a little more while not making it much longer than maybe two or three more paragraphs. Aleister 21:20 Valentines Day '12
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