User talk:Anton199

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UnSignpost:Article/An interview with the editors

I thought for the purposes of this UnSignpost article we ought to interview each other. I shall start:

Tell me Anton, what drove you to becoming an editor of the UnSignpost? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:34, January 19, 2014 (UTC)

You did. And then I had to keep on driving going, because the car was already going fast and I could not just let it go all by itself (and there was a tree in front of it). I thought about just stopping it but home was far away and I did not feel like walking. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:21, January 20, 2014 (UTC)
What is the most entertaining and useful activity you carry out while standing on your head? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:08, January 20, 2014 (UTC)
I cannot stand on my head only, but I can manage a position where my head will be the only part of my body that touches the floor (or the ground). While I am in that position, some very interesting thoughts can come to me. And if at that moment, there is a problem or a question which need to be solved, it will be a bit for me easier to solve them in that position. So you can say that I am doing something useful. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:57, January 20, 2014 (UTC)
Could you possibly endorse our readers with some tips on what qualities makes the best journalist? Perhaps commenting on your own route to journalism and the July Coup. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:22, January 20, 2014 (UTC)
I will be as discreet about the July Coup as possible for personal reasons. The only thing I can say is that people very seldomly learn from their history or learn their history. That's why old methods are often still effective.
What concerns being a journalist, it is a hard job, even on Uncyclopedia. An UnSignpost journalist should be serious enough to admit that what he is writing is actual news and at the same time not serious at all to be able to deny what he has previously admitted; he should carry his duty with dignity and ignore a not very honourable name of his establishment; he should make people trust him and lead them to false conclusions but in such a way that they will know that these conclusions are false... The entire mission of the UnSignpost is to be as funny as possible while objectively delivering controversy.
However, your opinion may be different from mine, so you don't have to agree with everything here. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:59, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
And this question I feel is especially relevant to your answer there. How many chickens would it take to cross an infinitely long road? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:10, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
It is relevant. The amount of chickens that often cross the road is infinite. However, not many people noticed that the road was infinite as well, as chicken jokes end by chicken arriving somewhere but not entering the place. So I think this implies that they do not stop moving towards some goal which seems very far away and which they never reach. But their real goal is movement, which they can achieve by progressing towards it. So I would say that it would take three chickens to do it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:57, January 22, 2014 (UTC)
Are you therefore going against the well-established Ainslie Theory that states that "just because a road is infinite in length doesn't mean that it is infinite in width" and therefore that a chicken would cross a road width ways to reach a goal, a finite distance away? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 21:10, January 22, 2014 (UTC)
We were talking about different roads there. But it's three chickens anyway. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:09, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
Ah so you question the age old human tradition that one answers specifically the question that was asked and not a different one and instead you propose to change the answer to be less relevant to the question? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:33, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
No, it's three chickens. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:52, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
Three. Is that in Cartesian Form? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:11, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
Almost. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:18, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
Why do you determine the result as three when logic seems to dictate that four are needed as two get run over and one runs in the opposite direction? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:24, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
If a chicken crosses half of the road and returns to the place where he has started, then you can consider that he actually crossed it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:25, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
But you are measuring distance, a scalar measurement! Surely crossing the road is a form of displacement (the vector of distance) and the chicken's direction is therefore important. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:42, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
It depends on what point of view you (as a judge) take: if you are flying several hundred meters above the road (so the angle between the line of the road and the line which passes through the point to which the chicken will get and which as far away from the right side of the road as it is from the left one and the point in which you are situated is almost ninety degrees) then it will be as you say. However, returning to one of the precedent questions, if you decide to stand on your head on the road, then I don't think it will matter much to you whether the chicken is crossing the road physically or technically. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:14, January 24, 2014 (UTC)
So is your new chicken theory more philosophical or mathematical? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 21:03, January 24, 2014 (UTC)
“The philosophy is like a tree, whose roots are the metaphysics, its trunk the physics, and the branches the rest of sciences...”
Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:59, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
I thought that philosophy was dead and that we didn't have to listen self-declared 2000 year old "scientists" anymore and that we could listen to modern scientists for once. On that note who is the most inspirational historical chicken according to you? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:49, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
QuestforFreedom
"Surely our quest for freedom is more important than that!"
Philosophy is not dead. I think that the most inspirational historical chicken is "Le Coq Gaulois". Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:55, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
And so based on the well-known media technique in the media of "if it's not your favourite, it means you hate it" why do you hate Ginger from Chicken Run? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:06, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
Because it's not my favourite. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:52, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
But surely the star chicken in a film that satirically mocks the terrible conditions battery hens suffer by showing a correlation to WW2 prison of war camps is more important than some French cock? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:57, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
It is the film and not the chicken that mocks these terrible conditions. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:00, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Ahh but you gotta admit ginger is the hottest hen out there! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:12, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Is it a question? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:48, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Yes it's a goddam question! I know your slimy tricks trying to avoid the answers to the questions the public wants to hear. Don't you think Ginger the chicken is hot? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:55, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
I may sound cruel, but it is rather hot for the first half-an-hour, after you take it out from the oven, but then it gradually cools down. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:58, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Anton thanks to your previous comment and the fact that I hacked your phone (and don't give me any of that suing shit. Thanks to our hacks we exposed child abuse in th 1970s) I can safely publish this interview and the fact that you are in league with Mrs. Tweedy's Chicken Pie company. Good day!

Swap positions? You interview me? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:02, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

I will. But on your talk page. Welcome for the interview! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:24, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

A letter about Megan Fox

If you would like to go beyond your nice rewrite and actually vote Symbol keep vote Keep at VFD, I will declare that the 2-2 tie is beyond consensus and close the ballot. Spıke ¬ 17:37 21-Jan-14

It's done and thanks for telling me! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:52, January 22, 2014 (UTC)

Cheka

I stumbled on this while expunging Category:MINITRUE APPROVED. Found it in bad shape, corrected a lot of coding, but you might want to look at the text and see if you can improve it. Spıke ¬ 18:53 24-Jan-14

Thank you and I will look at it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:12, January 25, 2014 (UTC)

Shabidoo's queer

Looks like Shabidoo wants to tell you about your change to the Top Ten forum. It's easy to get confused between a Russian and a Scot, if only the Scot spoke Scots and the Russian didn't have a French accent. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:42, January 26, 2014 (UTC)

I have a Russian accent when speaking French, so it's a bit different. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:00, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Yes I can imagine you must sound very much like the "Poloshman" (Policeman) off Halo-halo to your French friends. Not that there is anything wrong with it, it just presents a beautiful challenge for impressionists. I myself have to explain my nationality to people as the Scottish accent I had is now long gone! Ma sin leat! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:11, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
I like impressionism. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:49, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Yes, same here. "Look, this good impression of Anton, no?" Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:53, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Who is he? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:54, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Oh sorry that was my impression of Yanukovitch! Only without the dubbing done by Putin! I meant, "Hello my name is Anton and I am Frussian!" Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:59, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Frussian? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:00, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Like Spanglish but instead combining Fruit and Prussian. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:06, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
So Franglais is Fruit + English? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:25, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
No French, angles and raddish. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:37, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Ok. And Thainglish? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:40, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
I think that's a form of tie rack. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:48, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Ok Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:53, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Dokey (DK). By the way the two correct spellings are "OK" and "okay". Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:58, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
OK. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:59, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
In the immortal words of Big Brother, moments before being shot dead as a traitor of the party "I am and have for ever been always right." The Communist workers mis-interpreted these words thanks to the awful nature of the English language having one word with two meanings. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:09, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Same in Russian. That's why the English never understand Russians speaking. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:50, January 28, 2014 (UTC)
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