User talk:Anton199

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Poop throwing monkeys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You tried to delete Poop Throwing Monkeys????????????????????????????????????????? (takes a breath) ??????????????????????????????????? You, sir, are no Russian, as Russians like myself love Poop throwing monkeys. What are you really, a Canadian? Or worse, a Finlander???? If I could throw poop through a computer screen you, sir, would be covered.

Then again, let me explain the article to you. As you can see if you read it, a learned antropolgist is lecturing at the zoo, and they come upon the chimps. This learned man is hit with poop from the chimps, a couple of times, and within a matter of seconds he reverts to being an ape and throws his own poop. This is a satiric look at the importance of self-important people, and the fact that we are all apes. That's it in short. It should be featured imnho. I am but a humble servant of the poop throwing monkeys 15:55 11-7-'13 Sir!

p.s. As for your assertion that it's author is "long gone", hello, I'm right here!!!!???
Dear Al, you can spend your whole life explaining the concept of your articles to me, which may be good, as you manage to convince me somehow, but I will still be against the articles which I find gross, vulgar or obscene. Sorry. Even though some people say that toilet humor should exist and can be funny, I am the one who will always be for its extinction. Sorry again, but I really think that the reader will appreciate only ethical humor. Anton (talk) 16:29, July 11, 2013 (UTC)
If I could put in here, an article that requires the author to explain the concept (and this is not the first time) has a problem that transcends poop. Nevertheless, it survived VFD, so let's move on. Spıke Ѧ 16:44 11-Jul-13
MoveOn.orgpoop Aleister 16:53 same day
In fact, I don't want to move on without having a longer last word (which assumes you two don't want to have the last word even more than I). I would not use the term "ethical humor" because, if it means anything, it means we impose an ethic on the reader. This article uses poop to make a conceptual point. The problem is that there are many times the authors that use poop not to make any point at all, to revel in writing about poop to unwilling strangers, and because some of them, at the age of 11, are still in the anal stage of development. And there are millions of Americans between the coasts who would just as soon write letters to get the school library to use filters to block access to Uncyclopedia so they never have to tell the difference. I am not as categorically against obscenity as Anton is, and the last time we discussed it, gave him examples of cases where I used obscenity and thought it worked great. In this article, poop is prominent, and the message for the reader is comparatively subtle. Aleister may pat himself on the back for this subtlety, but all that leaves for a lot of readers is, gratuitous poop. Spıke Ѧ 18:49 11-Jul-13
Spike, concerning school filters... me chuckles... My friend, it is the very filters themselves that let me edit from school! I do pay attention in class, but only when I'm not being taught something I can learn in khanacademy or wikipedia infinitely faster. Anyways, lightspeed systems filter, is set up, to whitelist any wikimedia site. I tried getting on the fork from the school, but it was blocked. Yet this, with all the stuff gets through. So school filters work towards us, in some cases. --The Shield of Azunai DSA510My Edits! 08:53, July 12, 2013 (UTC)
In fact, this is not "concerning school filters" but obscenity. My focus is not Anton's "ethical humor" but suitability of the product to the audience; to-wit, to give even the hayseed Kansas farm-wife such a fit of chuckles that, when she encounters the inevitable spate of Feces Humor, she abandons her notion to write a letter to the Superintendent of Schools. Separately, a hundred bucks says you don't pay attention in class, and it is only by feeding your Ritalin to your parrot that you are able to operate a keyboard at all. Spıke Ѧ 15:09 12-Jul-13

Okay, you have Teh Rollbackz

I saw you painstakingly Undoing four Anon changes, one at a time, and asked the Chief to give you Rollback, which he has now done. Read my instructions to Denza for the implications of this. I hope it makes your job easier (and induces you to do more patrolling)! Spıke Ѧ 18:37 11-Jul-13

Thanks! In past, I heard you asking Scott to mark edits as patrolled but I do not notice any flags or exclamation marks near the edits. Anton (talk) 18:42, July 11, 2013 (UTC)
Oh, sorry, I saw one. That just means that almost all of them got patrolled. Anton (talk) 18:43, July 11, 2013 (UTC)

I let this task go, over the weekend. Currently, the Boston baseball team is playing on the US West Coast (that is, until after midnight my time) and I have been working down the backlog while listening to the games. There are only about a dozen left, on which I can't decide. One of these, Feminism, I have asked Simsilikesims to look at. However, I've worked on most of today's edits needing patrolling. Spıke Ѧ 18:53 11-Jul-13

I will also try to finish this work. Anton (talk) 18:58, July 11, 2013 (UTC)

Patrol of Columbo

I have marked an edit of Columbo as patrolled as it is not vandalism and the anon tried to make a joke. I don't think it changes anything, as the humour of the article was already a bit random and anon just pursued it with the idea of Sonic the murderer. If anyone thinks that it is not funny, he can revert it. Anton (talk) 06:52, July 12, 2013 (UTC)

You should mark all edits (which you can) patrolled, and then go back if you need to undo/rollback. That way, the mark isn't left for others to worry over. Hope that helps! --The Shield of Azunai DSA510My Edits! 08:55, July 12, 2013 (UTC)
Anton, you are correct that a patroller's options include not only marking an edit patrolled or reverting it, but post-editing it, as you did here. In fact, if Anon had any sense of humor at all (and if the article is not a Featured Article that should be preserved against latter-day attempts to move it in new comedy directions), this is the best alternative of all, though the most time-consuming.
As above, one motivation for this additional stripe on your epaulette was to induce you to do more of the patrol work. It doesn't help if you notify us of individual Patrol decisions. If there is a reason for me to review your edit at Columbo, I'll do so. Otherwise, we trust that you did it right. Spıke Ѧ 13:34 12-Jul-13
I am glad that I have rollbacks and I am trying to help you with your work. I was not going to notify you about everything I did (as otherwise I don't reduce but increase the amount of your tasks) but I was not sure about that particular one. However, you don't have to look thorugh it as I am prettu sure it does not make the article worse. Anton (talk) 15:48, July 12, 2013 (UTC)
There is nothing surer than the form, "I certified an edit although I am not certain," to make me feel compelled to look at it. If you are not sure, feel free to ask me or others--as, again, I asked Simsie, who just now has attacked her task at Feminism with zeal. Setting out to help patrol edits should not be a commitment to pass judgement on each one! Indeed, the editor of Columbo has a playful mind, and the only thing going against this edit is that it adds an item to an aimless list--but a solution to that waits for the day that the article has an actual owner/steward. Spıke Ѧ 16:44 12-Jul-13
That's what I thought and thanks for looking at it anyway! Anton (talk) 16:46, July 12, 2013 (UTC)


So I read through the new USP and noticed you were the biopic? You're russian? WOW! That means we're neighbours, in a way! :) I'm finnish, nice to know this about you. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 14:08, 14 July, 2013 (UTC)

Anton's not Russian, he's a true Russian, a Ukranian, you fool! And all ways will be. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:15, July 14, 2013 (UTC)
PS - Nice to know you're Finnish. Never been there though. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 14:16, July 14, 2013 (UTC)
This is why we really need the biopic contributions from different users! Don't the Finnish and the Russians have good opinion about each other? Anton (talk) 17:44, July 14, 2013 (UTC)
Is it the right time and place to mention one of the bravest actions of the Second World War, the Russo-Finish War? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:51, July 14, 2013 (UTC)
PS - Nice to know someone apart from the editors reads the USP. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:52, July 14, 2013 (UTC)
Yes. This is what I wanted to say. But the Russo-Finnish war stuff was not very significant, we always had good relations apart from that. Well, almost always. Thanks for the UnSignpost and well done! Anton (talk) 18:48, July 14, 2013 (UTC)
It may not have been significant in the story of Russo-Finnish relations (I'm sure Finland was just passed between the Russian and Swedish empires for ages) however it was significant in WW2 and is one of the most pride-filling, great stories of WW2 for the allies (Russia not being counted as an ally in this part of the war because of Hitler and Stalin's pact). Of course that aside the Russians made a huge, pride-filling, great contribution to WW2 when fighting on the allies side and in the Napoleonic Wars so I love both nations. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:21, July 14, 2013 (UTC)
Somehow, Scottpat, you made me more proud of my country than I were before :) thank you :) Also, nice to know you're ukrainan Anton, nothing wrong with them neither. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 05:54, 15 July, 2013 (UTC)
No probs, makes me want to be Finnish too. I was joking about Anton's nationality though. He is Russian, it's just if you want to wind a Russian up you call him Ukranian. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:24, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
I personally have nothing against the Ukrainians. It is just rather strange that the two countries that were together for a long time become separated but it is fine with me, as Ukraine has almost a completely different culture. Anton (talk) 08:41, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
Oh ok so you ARE a russian? Damnit, this is so confusing :) Well, Russia did have quite a lot of countries under it, like Estonia, for example. I really love Estonia as well, very similar weather like on Finland, and the language is similar too, with few exceptions. Like, Pete, which is a common name in Finland, means 'gay' in Estonia :D Just a random fact I wanted to share. But yes, many countries were under Russia at some point, altough Russia wasn't called as Russia back then. But that's really cool man. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 09:29, 15 July, 2013 (UTC)
What I meant is that Ukraine and Russia were like one country since the beginning. Kiev was the capital was the first capital of Russia, for instance (but the country was called Kievan Rus' and not Russia at that time). Anton (talk) 09:33, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
I think that when Cat refers to "back then" he/she means USSR and Cold War rather Anton and I are refering to the Russian Empire from Medieval Times to 1917 (which was called Russia so not sure about Cat's point). During this period many countries swapped under Russian rule and Swedish rule in the Baltic including Estonia and Finland (even St. Petersburg was once a Swedish city). Russia extended from Finland down to Poland and across to Dagestan and then up to Mongolia (even bigger than it is today!). However I too like Sweden, especially their heroic leader Charles XII. So to be honest Russia, Ukraine, Finland, Sweden and Estonia are all wonderful countries in their own rights. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:45, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
Scott, sorry but Saint Petersburg was founded in the 18th century and before that there were only swamps there. After that the city was the capital of Russia and Sweden has never invaded it. So it has never belonged to Sweden. Anton (talk) 09:50, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
I agree Scott. I'd like to visit every single place on Planet Earth. I just meant that Russia was called Soviet Union or Soviet Russia at some point. Russia is 'Venäjä' at finnish, but Soviet Russia/Union was 'Neuvostolitto', which is whole different name. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 09:58, 15 July, 2013 (UTC)
Sorry Anton, slight historical inacurracy there. I should have said that Sweden once possesed the territory which St. Petersburg now stands in and St. Petersburg was actually built once the Swedish were forced off it. But to save my skin part of St. Petersburg was given to Sweden later on because of the huge influx in Swedish workers however this territory was ceeded back to Russia when the Finnish and Swedish occupants had a row. So technically Sweden ruled over part of St. Petersburg for a bit. On a side note St. Petersburg was primarily built by Swedish workers and based on a Swedish city. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:38, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
Actually, I did not the fact about the Swedish workers! But I know that the majority of them died because of the climate in the swap area and so people say that St. Petersburg was built on bones. By the way, do you remember that you said that I should ask someone to revive the Reviewer of the Month competition? I created a forum about it and it is called "RotM". Could you, please, visit it as the only person who noticed it was Romartus? Anton (talk) 11:01, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
Sure, I will. You may know about the Swedish workers but you didn't seem to know that Sweden did actually rule part of St. Petersburg after it was built, that was my point. Anyway, I have never been, but St. Petersburg is meant to be one of those great cities of Europe. It was part of Peter the Great's dream of modernising Russia and turning it into the superpower it became. I need visit it one day (I need to visit Russia one day and I will take a detour through Norway, Sweden, Finland and Denmark on my way). Suprisingly I've never travelled much and have only visited countries in North America and Western Europe. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:12, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
Well, since the formation of Moscow many foreign workers there had their parts of the town almost to themselves only, but that's cool that you know a lot about Russia (don't tell me you don't, not everyone now knows about Cossacks, for example). Anton (talk) 13:15, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
I know of Cossacks from my love of Napoleonic War history, I know of St. Petersburg from my broad knowledge of 17th-18th Century Europe covering the Great Northern War. I know of Russia herself through means of three Russian friends (apart from you), a broad knowledge of the rest of history, a love of geography, a relative's frequent trips to Moscow and a Brit's above-average general knowledge basis. Apart from that, to quote Manuel, "I know nothing, I know nothing" (but I'm not from Barcelona!). Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:00, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
Well, you have a very full knowledge about it! This is something I certainly appreciate (not concerning Russia in particular, but history, geography, the world itself in general). Anton (talk) 18:53, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
Well thanks but I think you're knowledge of British culture is much more amazing. You need to visit Britain. Have you been? (Have I asked this question before? (It happens sometimes!)) Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:38, July 15, 2013 (UTC)
No. Shame on me. Anton (talk) 07:52, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
No don't feel sorry about it, it's fine. If you do visit don't go to far North. You might bump into the Cossacks of England - Northerners. They'll bombard you with crazy accents. Stick in the civilised South. Just travel guidance. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:13, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
Thank you for the advice! I will surely remember about this when I visit Britain. Anton (talk) 11:35, July 16, 2013 (UTC)

PLS edition of UnSignpost with extra poo

Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:00, July 14, 2013 (UTC)


Lord ScottPat has brought the House to your favour. On your command the contest may be re-opened (well actually on an admin's command). Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 11:23, July 15, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks! Anton (talk) 13:10, July 15, 2013 (UTC)

Long time no C

Hey Anton! Are you still in Paris or your motherland? LaurelsV V I P ® 22:17, July 15, 2013 (UTC)V V I P

Paris. Motherland will be tomorrow. Anton (talk) 07:52, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
I thought that in Russia, home flies to you!!! Spıke Ѧ 14:13 1-Aug-13

"If the mountian does not go to Mohammed, Mohammed goes to the mountain". Anton (talk) 12:48, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

Communicating with blocked users

Anton, you should not reach out to blocked users for the same reason you should not post to anonymous vandals. For one thing, in theory they cannot respond (though this one is committing ban-evasion and is promising to do more of the same). This user in particular manufactured a large piece of her grievance with the site, vows that she has no interest in helping with the business of the site, and dishonestly blames her third resignation (and the associated thesis that we have a duty to mankind to shut down the website) on a fleeting mood she was in. The whole thing is a waste of our time, and the only result will be future drama. If you ever had to break up with a girlfriend who always needed to say one more thing in her own defense, you would know what happens next. Spıke Ѧ 14:13 1-Aug-13

I what? I never promised to do more of the same...? I just wanted to be unblocked.
Please, I only want you to understand that I criticised you too severely. You know it, I know it. So we agree, then, don't we?
I do not want to make any more drama, and for this reason I should probably remain blocked (and of course quit editing under my IP). I just want to end this cleanly and leave on good terms. I suppose I can't do that now, but I am still trying. I have a nasty habit of refusing to give up. I also insist on correcting those who say things about me that are not quite accurate. I did not manufacture my grievances; they are however mainly about things that did not happen on this wiki or to me personally. My comment to Simsilikesims ('I am tired of hearing about Wikia's ToS') was in fact made in the wee hours when I was not thinking too clearly; the long speech about whatever-it-was that I made on my userpage (not the one you see now) was made when I should have been awake but was not thought out as well as it should have been and really did not belong.
No, Anton should not be 'reaching out' to me; you are right. I am not here and would not be here if I did not feel this need to set the record straight, so it is not doing any good.
Finally, please don't twist my words. I never said that we have a 'duty to mankind' to shut down Uncyclowikia. I believe it would be the logical thing to do and could prove beneficial to Uncyclopedia as a whole (by this I mean all of them - cy, fr, ...). Anyway, I feel like I am running up against a brick wall here. Now that I have left for the second time (yes, second; the time I redirected my userpage here to my Welsh one was just because I was more active there - it's not that uncommon a practice), it appears Spike does not think I have anything worthwhile to say and am only causing drama. Maybe he is right. In any case we are all wasting our time here and I would like to take back my unblock request. (I am starting to get the idea the block is about more than the talk page blanking anyway.) 16:17, August 1, 2013 (UTC)
Llwy. You know what? You did not respect the most important rule here (it is urgent for you to use the link I just gave) and this is really bad. Anton (talk) 18:28, August 1, 2013 (UTC)
And it is very good that I am not an admin because I love uncyclopedia and think that this project in general cannot exist without uncyclowikia. So I would be an admin, I would ban forever every single person who says that uncyclowikia should not exist, thinks that uncyclowikia should not exist, has friends who think that uncyclowikia should not exist or knows people who have such friends. But I don't think this is very related to what we are discussing. Anton (talk) 18:37, August 1, 2013 (UTC)

I hope you did not take me too seriously, I was just in a very good mood. Anton (talk) 12:49, August 4, 2013 (UTC)

Here you go

Noobaward Noob of the Moment June-July 2013

Oh, why, thank you! (Although it will seem as though I was talking to myself) Anton (talk) 15:48, August 9, 2013 (UTC)

Abuse Filter

I apologize for the inconvenience caused by the Abuse Filter, though removing external links is generally a good thing anyway. You can reference a Wikipedia page, such as their Signpost with an interwiki link and get around the Filter. (In articles, this should be kept to a minimum too, as the goal is not further study--except, as in UnNews, when necessary for understanding--but laughter. Spıke Ѧ 11:53 10-Aug-13

Ok. I see. Thanks for giving me this tip. And I agree with "further study" and that's why I decided that the link would not be essential. Anton (talk) 12:02, August 10, 2013 (UTC)

Also: Thanks for finishing up some Patrol work. I was unsure about the edit to Hero; also, EStune has had enough pieces of my mind, but you handled it the right way. Spıke Ѧ 12:05 10-Aug-13

You are welcome! However, assuming that a person is Russian while he is from a country that was part of the USSR before 1991 is almost as bad as giving bad advice. Anton (talk) 12:08, August 10, 2013 (UTC)

I didn't say that your pleasantries were the best, though he shouldn't be offended. Besides, "In future we are all Soviet!!!" Spıke Ѧ 12:18 10-Aug-13

PS--On Talk:Scientology, you had already disavowed parts of your review with strikethrough. Please don't delete them, as they are part of the record. They are inapplicable, not just because you have changed your mind but because the article has also changed; but your first impressions might be valuable. Besides, talk pages don't have to be totally pretty. Spıke Ѧ 12:24 10-Aug-13

Ok. Then I will restore them. And we are not all Soviets in the future but all Martians. Anton (talk) 12:26, August 10, 2013 (UTC)
Won't those wire antennas hurt in bed? Spıke Ѧ 12:28 10-Aug-13
No idea. Haven't tried them yet but one of my relatives did, went for a walk and still has not returned. Anton (talk) 12:30, August 10, 2013 (UTC)
(Referencing the same ancient TV program) He probably did return but is simply invisible. Spıke Ѧ 12:35 10-Aug-13
Oh, yeah! I always wondered why Wells's Invisible Man resembled him so closely. But the storyline is a bit different. Anton (talk) 12:40, August 10, 2013 (UTC)


I have returned from the wilderness. How are things? Nice UnSignpost and thanks for sorting it out. I forgot to make sure I did one before I went! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:02, August 10, 2013 (UTC)

Hi and welcome back form the wildeness! What was it? Things are not bad except for the fact that a week ago I noticed that the fork changed its UnSignpost format and so it looked more like Wikipedia's. I thought we need that too and I spent a whole week figuring out how to fix all the problems. And apart from that there is not much extraordinary happening here, nor at the fork and you are probably not interested in how the Russian uncyc works, so I am afraid I don't have much to tell you. Ah, yes, there was Scots Law re-featured a while ago which might be interesting for you. And a discussion of something on your talk page which you noticed. But maybe I just have a bad memory. Anton (talk) 19:51, August 10, 2013 (UTC)
The wilderness relates to anyplace where English gentleman go to point and laugh at natives. The savages are tasty though. Good thinking on UnSignpost. Back to article writing for me. On the subject of law. I added my own version of British law into the Alternative legal systems article. Thanks. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:17, August 10, 2013 (UTC)

I did not write any articles for a long long period. I think I might go back to that as well. Anton (talk) 20:25, August 10, 2013 (UTC)


Thank you for the compliments about my revert jobs I've been doing lately on my talk page! Anyways, I am not that new this month, but I felt that I needed to make Uncyclopedia grow some more and that I would do my best on this funny wiki encyclopedia online! Feel free to go on my talk page if you want to have a conversation, or maybe talk about something important! Newman66 (talk) 23:48, August 10, 2013 (UTC)

You are welcome and I will go there sometime! Anton (talk) 07:44, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

Mass nominations on VFD

Hello there Anton199. Make sure not to fill up the VFD space too much, okay? And make sure not to remove any content from VFD either. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions My works 14:11, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

Why not to fill it too much? More articles, the better. I meant "less articles". Oh, well, never mind. Anton (talk) 14:17, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

Wait... Did I remove something? And, by the way, I finished nominating all this garbage. Anton (talk) 14:22, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

VFD has been languishing lately, and the more the merrier. (I will jump in soon, though there are two baseball playoff games to attend today.) Anton knows the limits on nominations and has not violated them.) If we are having a scold-fest, let me get my perennial one in, and urge everyone to write section headings that actually describe the discussion, for ease of finding it later. Spıke Ѧ 14:57 11-Aug-13

Then we might as well describe the whole discussion in the section headings

Anton (talk) 16:20, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

What about Llwy?

What's happened to Llwy? Was there a big argument I missed? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:11, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

It is not news. Llwy, the defender of freedom, is now repressed by the Uncyclowikia and blocked for three months. Anton (talk) 15:13, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

And see above: Spike just reminded us to create section headings that explain something. Anton (talk) 15:14, August 11, 2013 (UTC)

And if you are going to deprecate my point by going to the other extreme with super-long headings

then you should sign them. Spıke Ѧ 15:48 11-Aug-13

Ye Arse!

Dude, you fucked up the edit buttons on every page you put the USP on. As such, I'm removing mine till you fix it. GOOD DAY TO YOU KIND SIR! *Denza puts on his skirt and leaves--The Shield of Azunai DSA510My Edits! 10:36, August 13, 2013 (UTC)

Dude, fix up the new USP-format. It destroys the edit-buttons next to topics and the content-box. Please mate, do something. Cat the Colourful (Feed me!) Zzz Sleeping Cat 10:38, 13 August, 2013 (UTC)

Guys, please, keep calm! I will remove all the USPs and place them back when they are fixed. Meanwhile, you can read this issue at the UnSignpost/20130810. Fine? Anton (talk) 10:46, August 13, 2013 (UTC)


<h2></h2> has the same result as == ==. This means that to have that header that way you have to use __NOTOC__ __NOEDITSECTION__. If instead you changed the <h2> to a <span> and the content of that span also have a {{h2}} you'd end up with a similar appearance but without having to use __NOTOC__ et al.

Personally I'd actually open up {{h2}} and look at the code you have in there, and incorporate that into your <span>. One thing you may not be aware of is some users may have section numbering in place (like me) so your current headers actually add into the header numbering that is already on the page. This means the first section of the UnSignpost would show as section number n +1. The UnNews main page uses the {{h2}} template fairly extensively, if you want to see an existing example of how that's been worked.

In case you're not aware, I helped rewrite {{h2}} (and the relevant templates), as well as having written the templates that the "older" look UnSignpost used. The "older" look I kept in place when I was main editor of USP (by default, because nobody else was doing it) simply because it was in line with the original USP, which was put together by Skullthumper, and someone else who I can't recall at this moment. I also created a bit of code that meant that I could autogenerate the frame of the USP new each week - and would also give it the relevant page name with the date. That was eventually removed when it was misused, but if you want it back (with or without the newer format) then don't be afraid to ask. Or for any other wiki-fu questions, for that matter.

I may not be around as much as I used to be, but putting these kinds of things together is a bit of a talent. (Have a look at Microsoft knowledge base, Twitter, God's answering service, UnTunes:Social Networking the wind, UnDebate: Is it ever right to restrict freedom of speech?, Game:Alone in the dark, or almost any other article I've written if you ever want to know a good place to steal code from.)                               Puppy's talk page01:13 13 Aug 2013

A little navelism might not harm the next USP

A certain "encyclopedic" parody of Uncyclopedia exhorts its readers to "be bold", ridiculing our command that Uncyclopedians "be italic," and one Uncyclopedian stepped up to be Bat Fuck Insane. As previously reported, France annexed the UK, meaning that every Englishman on Uncyclopedia took the entire month of August off, including the editor of this august journal. Assistant Editor Anton199 stepped up to fill the void, as he lives in a worker's paradise where no one gets any time off at all.

After a brief period changing the signage to read "Acting Editor" and changing the locks, then several days studying how better to mimic that "encyclopedia" wiki as a form of payback, the previous edition of UnSignpost was rolled out and delivered. The immediate result was that buttons stopped clicking on everyone's windows, and people's keyboards started getting gooey and sticky and full of hairballs even though the cat was being boarded that week. Later, little windows started popping up advertising well-endowed women who love to talk dirty at two bucks a minute. A few days afterward, problems emerged at regional power grids, there were two military coups in Africa, and skyscrapers in Mexico City resumed collapsing despite the recent new regime of redoubled Government Inspection. And the Uncyclopedia connection made it problematic to blame all of this on global warming.

In barely a week, it had all been sorted out, and the vital news of the wiki had been re-delivered in a form that more closely resembled the boring old version we had come to know if not love. One Uncyclopedian emeritus offered advice, realizing that spending so much time on an alleged "real-world job" makes it hard for us to remember what a good coder he was. The Acting Editor has not been seen lately, as the stack of MediaWiki textbooks in his office has grown taller than he is. For the rest of us, despite the initial scare, the brief pratfall was a welcome interlude to a summer at the ballpark watching lazy fly balls turn into more costly pratfalls.

Spıke Ѧ 14:22 13-Aug-13

Never understood baseball. It's just not cricket.                               Puppy's talk page02:46 13 Aug 2013
Regarding the dropping of balls hit into the air, the two sports are virtually identical. Spıke Ѧ 15:26 13-Aug-13

To Spike: Great. Thanks! I laughed so hard as if it was one of the best featured article on Uncyclopedia.

To Pup: Thank you for your advice! I am afraid I am even more ignorant concerning all that wiki-formatting and stuff and even though I generally understood what you were saying, I basically did not and am trying to figure out how the "h2" things are connected to my UnSignpost.

P.S. (Anton199 thinking about Pup's message): looking at the format now... Yes, there is a <span> thing somewhere in the middle of the issue. Does this mean that it changes itself into a header and then spoils everyone's buttons? I don't think so because ...I don't see it like a header. I see it as a <span>. But there are no other headings in the USP I made... Anton199 makes such an expression that everybody who are looking at him, begin quietly moving away and dialling the number of the mental clinic. ......Hmmmmm......Is this supposed to mean that there is an invisible heading that spoils the USP?.. Then maybe I should just delete the "span". Yes, a great idea. Click, click, click. Wow, that is not the UnSignpost anymore... Hmmmmmm.....

Anton (talk) 15:14, August 13, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for the praise, Anton! Although I did read the UnSignpost, I don't "take it at home" and did not suffer the ill effects. What came to mind when I read the complaints is that NOTOC and NOSECTIONEDIT, occurring inside a template such as the UnSignpost, would affect the entire page it's in. If that's not the culprit, I'd be intrigued to learn just how you did it. Spıke Ѧ 15:26 13-Aug-13
Oh, ok. Anton199's brain begins to work Oh, yes, I do remember that there was a template with the NOTOC and NOSECTIONEDIT stuff... Anton (talk) 15:28, August 13, 2013 (UTC)
I didn't dig that deep. The relevant point is that the USP itself is a template, and templates work by inducing text to be substituted ("transcluded") into the page in which the template occurs. Spıke Ѧ 15:35 13-Aug-13

Now I understand what the problem was... However, I deleted the NOTOC things, just to see xhat would happen and the content box appeared in the UnSignpost. And knowing that I stole the Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost_Template from Wikipedia and knowing that Wikipedians never recieve Signposts at their talkpages as whole, this means that either the template should be changed, or the UnSignpost should not contain it. Anton (talk) 15:44, August 13, 2013 (UTC)

Aaah… stolen templates can be an issue at times. I've gone through and chopped up Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost Template, and added bits I chopped out of Template:H2, and I think I've given you the desired outcome without the issue of the undesired TOC and section edit suppression. Or, in less codey language, I think I fixed it. Let me know if this is what you were after.                               Puppy's talk page08:36 13 Aug 2013

This is exactly what I wanted. But it is not only this. Actually, I know it is cruel to ask you to fix all these problems but could you, please, just advise me what to do in order to have an option of minimizing this USP (show and hide buttons)? Or is this impossible to do with the current version of the newspaper? Sorry for taking your free time. Anton (talk) 21:03, August 13, 2013 (UTC)

Not too hard to do. Give me a day or so to get back to it though.                               Puppy's talk page09:23 13 Aug 2013

That would be great and thank you very much for fixing all these problems I made! Anton (talk) 07:28, August 14, 2013 (UTC)

Because I want to test this, and I never bother delivering any more


Uniquely delivered by                               Puppy's talk page08:36 13 Aug 2013


OK. I can see why you reverted the edit I made, since now that I think about it, the edit on Pickle was a bit stupid, but why Olive? I thought it would have been funny for the reader if the post said something that is a characteristic of humans (well, funnyish.) -TiExEx (TXX59)

Thank you for the question and your contributions: you are certainly welcome to express your opinion on your edits if they are getting undone (which is a rather painful experience)! So let's look at your edit.

The paragraph you edited: "Olive can also be used to describe something, referring to the unappealing color that disembodied eyeballs are known to acquire with age and the unusual choice of color on this text - seriously, it makes my eyes bleed." To be honest, the sentence is simpler to read and probably has even more humour but there is the use of the first persona which has never been present in this article (as in many others; here we try to parody encyclopedias and so are writing articles - except for the HowTo, UnScripts, UnNews and such - in an encyclopedic tone). In addition to this you say that it makes your eyes bleed, and this is a bit strange, as the reader understands that the person who wrote this sentence is not the person who wrote the article. Because someone who wrote it, is the person who chose such a colour (he would be stupid to choose a colour which would make his own eyeballs bleed), if you get what I mean.

So the reader would immediately ask himself whether such point of view would be a humour strategy that he did not understand and he never will be able to answer it, as this is the only part of the text where the first persona and the effect of the olive colour used in the article is mentioned. This is all very complicated and it will be even more so for the reader, so why not to simplify the life? For example - I am not saying that you cannot edit this page, you can and you can even go back to that particular edit I undid - why not to take your text ("the unusual choice of color on this text - seriously, it makes my eyes bleed") and change to eliminate all the problems mentioned above. You can do it whatever way you prefer, but here is my example: "Olive can also be used to describe something, referring to the unappealing color that disembodied eyeballs are known to acquire with age and the colour this text uses, best-known for disembodying the eyeballs". Do you see the difference? The tone is now encyclopedic, your joke (about the harm of the colour of the text) is still here and the repetition of words "disembody" and "eyeballs" is another joke which connects the text colour and the eyeballs' colour.

Thank you for your inquiry and I hope I did not discourage you with your edits being reverted! Anton (talk) 11:57, August 14, 2013 (UTC)

If I may kibitz: Anton, I am pleased at your lengthy and methodical explanation; such teaching is how we learn. TXX, he is right; you must keep in mind that our articles must superficially look like an encyclopedia; use of the first person ("It makes my eyes bleed") does major damage to this, without delivering major laughter (most of it to yourself). Separately, we are not supposed to be this picky on other users' talk pages, but I'll change the title of this section from "Ehm..." in case someone in the future wants to find what was discussed about Olive. Spıke Ѧ 12:31 14-Aug-13


This is now saveable, if you would like to strike your Delete vote at UN:VFD and flip to Keep. Spıke Ѧ 12:06 14-Aug-13

That is how admins convince people to vote for them! I will do this with a great pleasure! Anton (talk) 12:10, August 14, 2013 (UTC)

Huh? Does this mean you will travel back in time to January to vote for me??? Spıke Ѧ 12:24 14-Aug-13

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