User talk:Anton199

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(I couldn't interest you with an UnSignpost could I, sir?)
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By the way, my name in the article was useless to mention: I have already got a lot of help and advises (including the specifics).
 
By the way, my name in the article was useless to mention: I have already got a lot of help and advises (including the specifics).
 
Right, Spike? [[User:Anton199|Anton199]] ([[User talk:Anton199#top|talk]]) 16:00, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
 
Right, Spike? [[User:Anton199|Anton199]] ([[User talk:Anton199#top|talk]]) 16:00, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
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I know but I needed to back up my point. By the way you should really get round to making a user page. Then we can see what articles you've made/contributed to. Anyway thank you for the approval. The answer to whether I am alone is yes and no. I'm not alone in supporting the fact that UnSignpost needs a comeback (it has been dormant for three months) and I get technical help from SPIKE and others but when it comes to article writing [[User:Dannyboy1209|Dannyboy1209]] wrote a biopic (on himself!) and two links to penguin and club penguin and I wrote the rest (Article 1, Article 2, Helpful pages, Comments). Usually two different writers write it but all the usual editors/writers have basically gone missing so I just decided to revive it. You, sir, can contribute. Articles and comments can be submitted to the UnSignpost page (find it through the links provided). I'm going to archive what's on there now, however and make a new fresh page maybe today or tommorrow so don't write there yet. Dannyboy has taken a keen interest in helping write articles but apart from that that's it. Please contribute. This open to anyone and then you too can have your name written in the contributions part at the bottom right. Listen to what the newspaper told you. I know you're new but please contribute to pee review and VFH. If you can't be bothered to write long comments about other's work then simply vote on VFH for articles that you like or hate. Please do because if people like you don't then articles don't receive enough votes to either pass or fail and then the feature item on the main page never changes for weeks. Anyway enough pleading and rambling said I see you've signed up for more UnSignpost: the next one I have planned for is 4th May so hopefully you shall receive one then. Keep going with your article writing. Thanks. {{User:ScottPat/sig}} 16:56, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Revision as of 16:56, April 9, 2013

Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Anton199, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

What you can do

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Anton199/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

What you need

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you.

What to read

Here are some pages that might help you:

For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read it and tell you how to improve it.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke ¬ 19:31 2-Apr-13

Probability theory

Hello, welcome, and thank you for your contribution! I touched it up so it looks more like a conventional Uncyclopedia article; for instance, an article on Probability theory does not need a section on Probability theory. You need to remove the small bits of first person, as encyclopedia articles don't talk about what "we" think or how sure "we" are. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 19:31 2-Apr-13

User:Uca government/UCA

Usually users are not supposed to edit articles in other users' spaces. I understand that this article is a vanity piece about a clique. It is never going to be of interest to the general reader of this wiki. For this reason, it may be deleted at any time. Would you please spend your time writing material that will amuse someone other than yourselves? Thank you. Spıke ¬ 14:15 3-Apr-13

Hello, Spike! Thank you very much for your help and advises! But I am still a bit confused about the situation with the UCA Government article. First of all, you see, when I was editing this article I didn't notice that it was another user's zone because I got a link to this article from another person and I thought that it was just a random article in Uncyclopedia. Now this is clear. But if it is a page of another user, I don't understand how it can be deleted. Can't a user write anything he wants on his own page? Anton199 (talk) 19:23, April 3, 2013 (UTC)

Anyone can edit any page unless it has special protections. Even though you can edit a page under "Uca government" you ought not. Only Admins can delete articles. We would not delete established articles in mainspace without a vote at Votes for Deletion. We would not delete articles in userspace except for cyberbullying and vanity. This article seems to me to be vanity. If it continues to be the focus of a lot of attention, at the expense of articles that many readers would enjoy, I will delete it. Spıke ¬ 20:23 3-Apr-13

Thank you, I've understood this now! But what should we do so the article would not get deleted. Because, although it's a vanity piece, we've still spent a lot of time on it. Anton199 (talk) 15:46, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

Create a free account on any of the many social websites or blog sites, save the source and/or printable version of this page, and transfer it there. Some changes to the mark-up coding may be necessary. But Uncyclopedia is not for personal blogs, and the amount of time you spent on an article that doesn't belong here is not a valid argument. Spıke ¬ 16:25 5-Apr-13

Normandy

Welcome Anton199. I'm quite new here too. I joined on 31st March 2013. Just popped by to say: Thanks for creating a page on Normandy. Uncyclopedia needed one. Also if you have any questions ask me on my user page (Click on my signature and go to the discussion page). Constant usage of this sight for six days in a row is making me very knowlegable about Uncyclopedia. SPIKE will help you settle in but then he abandons you and only comes back to tell you you've been taking up space with thousands of edits on "recent changes." Any articles that you make that are decent, like maybe the Normandy one you're creating, can be put on Pee Reviews. Check it out as you can review other people's work and get a good judgement of good and bad pieces if you read the "reviewed" section. You can vote to see whether certain pages should get awards on the Votes for Highlight section so get stuck in and happy Uncyclopeding. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:08, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you very much for your help! I will ask you questions if I have any. Anton199 (talk) 18:53, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

Read my comments in the discussion page of your Normandy article. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:37, April 5, 2013 (UTC)

Um, we don't care what Normandy's administrative capitals are, unless you can make it funny. The point of having an Infobox in a geography article is to look like Wikipedia and to be funny. Most Infoboxes here don't need to be filled out completely. Be sure your purpose here is to amuse the reader and not to teach him. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 19:51 6-Apr-13

Ok, thanks, Spike. I actually wanted to make it funny but, I guess, didn't achieve it. Anton199 (talk) 19:56, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

Is the bit about "administrative capitals" a joke that I just missed? We can make it work! But if it will take too much text to explain it to dumb Yankees like me, this is better done in the text of the article than in the Infobox. Spıke ¬ 20:00 6-Apr-13

No, I mean, this wasn't really a joke. I just wanted to show that Normandy has a lot of different capitals at the same time. Anton199 (talk) 20:04, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

In that case, take it to Wikipedia or somewhere! But it sounds like something that could be turned into a joke, especially if the different administrative capitals becomes a burden for the citizen. Keep that in mind for later! Spıke ¬ 20:11 6-Apr-13

Ok, I will. Anton199 (talk) 20:34, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

Don't give up on the article. Just rethink it. Start again and make it funny. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 08:33, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Just seen the improvements. I love it. Its great so far. "3.45 million Vikings." However there are a few grammatical errors, "It is a surprising information especially for the people living in Normandy" should be, "It is especially suprising for people living in Normandy." Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 09:35, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

I've seen some more grammatical errors so I edited them myself. Hope you don't mind. You can change them if you are unhappy with them. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 09:37, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

"Apolagizes" is American. I have change it to "Apolagises" as Uncyclopedia is written in the English language. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 09:40, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you! As English is not my first language, I sometimes make mistakes that I don't notice. Anton199 (talk) 09:43, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

That's ok. Don't let it hold you back from writing articles. By the way as an Englishman, I just wanted to say that Normandy was owned by England since the invasion by William the Conqueror all the way up to the Hundred Years War. Your article implies that the English invaded Normandy in the Hundred Years War. However do not let this change what you wrote in your article. I like the patriotic spirit behind it and I know some friends from Brittany (Bretagne) who think that Brittany should be a seperate nation form France. Also I saw you were writing about the Norman language/dialect next just thought I'd mention a strange but true fact: During the time of the French Revolution (1789) 30% of the population of France spoke French as their native language. Keep going. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 10:00, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

This is very interesting! I should edit the article a little, so it will be funny but still won't contradict the truth. Anton199 (talk) 10:29, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

ScottPat, I love it when you lecture a fellow newbie on our policy! In fact, Uncyclopedia articles use either American or British English depending on the thing written about, so obviously it's British English for an article on Normandy, except perhaps one with a WW2 focus. Most of our articles use American English, but the overriding rule is to follow the style of the page when you edit it, so the reader is not distracted by the inconsistency.
Regarding your history lesson, youse ought to spend less time discussing facts and more time discussing what would be funny. Notably, an article written from an alternate viewpoint (and this is hard to do well and I don't recommend trying when just starting out)--for example, an article written by a Frenchman--might flout the facts.
Regarding your spelling lesson, it's "apologize" (or "apologise"). Also, "separate." Spıke ¬ 10:44 7-Apr-13

I think that I wrote everything I wanted about Normandy. Do you think the article looks like it's finished? Anton199 (talk) 10:55, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

I tightened up the wording at the start and the end. (It is unforgivable not to get through the first sentence without providing interpretation for the reader! and once this is turned around, the interpretation can even be funny.) There is a great deal about this article that is designed to introduce us to Normandy rather than to be funny; this is understandable, and you can do the first, but please, only as a side-effect of the second. Spıke ¬ 11:26 7-Apr-13

I agree with Spike that this article is very informative and needs more humour. Try adding a paragraph on an event in Norman history/geography/politics that is serious and make it sound stupid and useless. Alternatively find a silly thing about Norman history/geography/politics that is silly and make it sound serious. Examples are: "The famous French comedian Remi Gaillard once filmed a scene in one of his sketches where a car filled with Nazis falls off a cliff onto allied invasion troops below on the cliffs above Juno beach in Normandy. This was upheld by the government of Normandy as a fine example of a sane [means: sensible, not crazy] Frenchman going about his daily business for the good of France" or "Normandy is famous across the World for the D-Day landings that took place here. However the French government denies that the D-Day landings ever happened and also denies that France was ever invaded by the Germans in WW2." (By the way both of these facts have been completely made up.) Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:39, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

I respectfully disagree: Don't make anything "sound stupid and useless"--make everything sound encyclopedic, and be revealed as total crap only when the reader stops to think about it! The perfect thing will straddle reality and silliness and will not be completely made up. It is too easy to just invent random stuff--the voters on Votes for Deletion disparage it as "Randumbo"--and has too little to engage the reader. Even Scott's made-up sentence isn't totally random; it is still about actual France, and would be even better if it were also about actual--Normandy! But yes, I didn't touch your sections on cuisine and language as they need a fresh approach; you are strenuously trying to introduce us to Normandy and the only humor is your amazement that it is so distinct from the rest of France. (Surprise! Read how distinct my New Hampshire is from the rest of the U.S.!) Spıke ¬ 12:58 7-Apr-13

What I meant by stupid and useless as explained in my example is someone who is as insane and silly as Remi Gaillard (who is really a French comedian (as Anton199 probably knows)) being made to look like someone important and serious. Both sentences were relevant to Normandy but make your own ones up. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:10, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

If Gaillard is from Normandy, morphing him from a comedian into a statesman fits the bill and keeps one foot planted on reality; you get the point. Spıke ¬ 13:16 7-Apr-13

I think he's actually from the South of France but I was just using him as an example as he was the most ridiculous Frenchman I know of so Anton199 may understand what I'm trying to say. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:26, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Spike, thank you very much for editing Normandy, it has become a lot better. I will try to make the cuisine and language funnier. ScottPat, I get what you mean. I will try to do it. Anton199 (talk) 13:33, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

'Fraid I beat you to cuisine! Your new initial quotation needs more work: Articles don't need to have these, and if they are present, they should be a clever aperitif for the reader. It's okay to have one from Hollande, but the subject (We are independent/no you aren't) is trite and the long exclamation mars the impression that it's an encyclopedia article, and this is the first impression. Spıke ¬ 13:48 7-Apr-13

I know what Spike said about the Hollande quote but I think the one you put on there now isn't funny. Try, "Normandy? A country? C'est ridiculouse." Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:25, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

It is proved that....

This doesn't sound quite English unless it is in the perfect tense ("It has been proven that..."). But even so, the question arises: By whom? And you have stumbled onto a repeated piece of advice I give to editors: Just say it--without such adornment. Please read User:SPIKE/Cliches-1. Spıke ¬ 21:09 6-Apr-13

Thank you, I've changed it. Anton199 (talk) 10:28, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

User Page

Create a user page to put your articles on. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:24, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

I should. Anton199 (talk) 18:53, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Read the last sentence of the Normandy talk bit above. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:55, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Normandy bis

Some of last night's edits don't boost the humor of this page.

  • The page begins with the idea that "Normandy" sounds like "Norway." You pursue this in {{Whoops}}. Overnight, you added a quote that tells the same frickin' joke. If the reader thinks this is all you've got, he'll stop reading right there! Moreover, you attribute it to Oscar Wilde--surely not because it's funny but because you've seen it sprinkled on a thousand other Uncyclopedia pages--though it has nothing to do with Oscar Wilde nor with Normandy. Be funny; don't pursue humor by imitating. If it's not gay, don't make it a Wildeism.
  • That brings the article up to three initial quotations. The two that are left are about Hollande vs. Sarkozy, and the two adversaries suddenly finding themselves in agreement. All right, if short and sweet, but it too has nothing to do with Normandy (nor particularly with the two politicians). If you can't find a quotation that is a tasty aperitif for the article, it would be better off with none.
  • Regarding "(not to be confused with Brittany)"--Normandy is not to be confused with Zambia either. So what? Again, we must ease the reader into this article, not throw tangential ideas at him. If Normandy is often confused with its neighbor, this is better treated in a separate section. "Foreign Policy"? As in: The Normans pursue friendly relations with neighboring regions (and have done an awful job of it).
  • I minced a few words in the final section. But even people who know the history of Joan of Arc do not know that it was Rouen where she got burnt--Americans, for example, don't learn French history in such detail--and your rework of this section breaks that useful link. Meanwhile, what you have done to the item on Mont-Saint-Michel has no humor left and goes back to trying to introduce people to Normandy rather than making them laugh. Spıke ¬ 13:08 8-Apr-13
Spike I have to respectfully disagree with your third point because many poeple over here in England get confused between Brittany and Normandy a lot. We just think thet Brittany is where we come from because we are Great "Britain" but the nobles actually came from Normandy. I'm sure French people get confused between the two regions if their not from round there. we get confused between Yorkshire and Lancashire and both counties hate being confused with the other. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:07, April 8, 2013 (UTC)
Spike, I saw all your comments. In next several days the article will be edited. Anton199 (talk) 14:06, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Very good; it's complete enough that no one will delete it in the meantime! Scott, as always, the issue is not what is true but what is funny. "(not to be confused with Brittany)" is not only not funny without some supporting text to explain the remark, supporting text in the first sentence of the article would be even worse: digressing to an unrelated concept before completing the explanation of the first concept, that Normandy thinks it's a separate country. It really does need to be moved beyond the Intro. Spıke ¬ 14:18 9-Apr-13


Am looking at today's edits...

  • Good work tightening up the quotation.
  • "Some say...nobody knows" is unencyclopedic and only justified if done very cleverly. Once again, state it simply. Make its form authoritative, and have only its substance be crap.
  • "It here are French people who think that the Norman language is easy to understand." Well, "It here are" one Frenchman who thinks the same of English! Separately, what you prove is a proof. For God's sake, don't ask me why!
  • Brittany? Surely you're going to venture outward and do an article on Brittany next? Start at Anton199/Brittany, but feel free to replace what is at Brittany because it's only a disambiguation page, and a goofy one with no pictures, at that. Spıke ¬ 15:08 9-Apr-13
Oh, I thought that a real Brittany article existed, that's why I put the link. Then I'll make a real one (I hope soon).

Anyway, I changed everything you showed me. The 'it here are French people' was purely accidental: although I sometimes make grammar mistakes but not such. Also, I didn't quite understand about "one Frenchman who thinks the same of English". If this is about me, then you are wrong: I am not French. Anton199 (talk) 15:25, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

A real article does exist at Brittany only it's not a real article. And yes, unfortunately I did assume you were French. Spıke ¬ 15:34 9-Apr-13

I couldn't interest you with an UnSignpost could I, sir?

Tell me if you hate it and don't want it but here's your free taster of the free newspaper. (Don't worry we've subtracted £10 from your bank account.) Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:46, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:46, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

Thank you! It's very good! Are you doing this alone?

By the way, my name in the article was useless to mention: I have already got a lot of help and advises (including the specifics). Right, Spike? Anton199 (talk) 16:00, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

I know but I needed to back up my point. By the way you should really get round to making a user page. Then we can see what articles you've made/contributed to. Anyway thank you for the approval. The answer to whether I am alone is yes and no. I'm not alone in supporting the fact that UnSignpost needs a comeback (it has been dormant for three months) and I get technical help from SPIKE and others but when it comes to article writing Dannyboy1209 wrote a biopic (on himself!) and two links to penguin and club penguin and I wrote the rest (Article 1, Article 2, Helpful pages, Comments). Usually two different writers write it but all the usual editors/writers have basically gone missing so I just decided to revive it. You, sir, can contribute. Articles and comments can be submitted to the UnSignpost page (find it through the links provided). I'm going to archive what's on there now, however and make a new fresh page maybe today or tommorrow so don't write there yet. Dannyboy has taken a keen interest in helping write articles but apart from that that's it. Please contribute. This open to anyone and then you too can have your name written in the contributions part at the bottom right. Listen to what the newspaper told you. I know you're new but please contribute to pee review and VFH. If you can't be bothered to write long comments about other's work then simply vote on VFH for articles that you like or hate. Please do because if people like you don't then articles don't receive enough votes to either pass or fail and then the feature item on the main page never changes for weeks. Anyway enough pleading and rambling said I see you've signed up for more UnSignpost: the next one I have planned for is 4th May so hopefully you shall receive one then. Keep going with your article writing. Thanks. Sir ScottPat Icons-flag-gb Scotland Flag 1 UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:56, April 9, 2013 (UTC)

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