User talk:Anton199/archive10

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edit UnSignpost:Article/An interview with the editors

I thought for the purposes of this UnSignpost article we ought to interview each other. I shall start:

Tell me Anton, what drove you to becoming an editor of the UnSignpost? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:34, January 19, 2014 (UTC)

You did. And then I had to keep on driving, because the car was already going fast and I could not just let it go all by itself (and there was a tree in front of it). I thought about just stopping it but home was far away and I did not feel like walking. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:21, January 20, 2014 (UTC)
What is the most entertaining and useful activity you carry out while standing on your head? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:08, January 20, 2014 (UTC)
I cannot stand on my head only, but I can manage a position where my head will be the only part of my body that touches the floor (or the ground). While I am in that position, some very interesting thoughts can come to me. And if at that moment, there is a problem or a question which need to be solved, it will be a bit for me easier to solve them in that position. So you can say that I am doing something useful. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:57, January 20, 2014 (UTC)
Could you possibly endorse our readers with some tips on what qualities makes the best journalist? Perhaps commenting on your own route to journalism and the July Coup. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:22, January 20, 2014 (UTC)
I will be as discreet about the July Coup as possible for personal reasons. The only thing I can say is that people very seldomly learn from their history or learn their history. That's why old methods are often still effective.
What concerns being a journalist, it is a hard job, even on Uncyclopedia. An UnSignpost journalist should be serious enough to admit that what he is writing is actual news and at the same time not serious at all to be able to deny what he has previously admitted; he should carry his duty with dignity and ignore a not very honourable name of his establishment; he should make people trust him and lead them to false conclusions but in such a way that they will know that these conclusions are false... The entire mission of the UnSignpost is to be as funny as possible while objectively delivering controversy.
However, your opinion may be different from mine, so you don't have to agree with everything here. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:59, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
And this question I feel is especially relevant to your answer there. How many chickens would it take to cross an infinitely long road? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:10, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
It is relevant. The amount of chickens that often cross the road is infinite. However, not many people noticed that the road was infinite as well, as chicken jokes end by chicken arriving somewhere but not entering the place. So I think this implies that they do not stop moving towards some goal which seems very far away and which they never reach. But their real goal is movement, which they can achieve by progressing towards it. So I would say that it would take three chickens to do it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:57, January 22, 2014 (UTC)
Are you therefore going against the well-established Ainslie Theory that states that "just because a road is infinite in length doesn't mean that it is infinite in width" and therefore that a chicken would cross a road width ways to reach a goal, a finite distance away? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 21:10, January 22, 2014 (UTC)
We were talking about different roads there. But it's three chickens anyway. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:09, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
Ah so you question the age old human tradition that one answers specifically the question that was asked and not a different one and instead you propose to change the answer to be less relevant to the question? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:33, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
No, it's three chickens. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:52, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
Three. Is that in Cartesian Form? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:11, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
Almost. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:18, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
Why do you determine the result as three when logic seems to dictate that four are needed as two get run over and one runs in the opposite direction? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:24, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
If a chicken crosses half of the road and returns to the place where he has started, then you can consider that he actually crossed it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:25, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
But you are measuring distance, a scalar measurement! Surely crossing the road is a form of displacement (the vector of distance) and the chicken's direction is therefore important. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:42, January 23, 2014 (UTC)
It depends on what point of view you (as a judge) take: if you are flying several hundred meters above the road (so the angle between the line of the road and the line which passes through the point to which the chicken will get and which as far away from the right side of the road as it is from the left one and the point in which you are situated is almost ninety degrees) then it will be as you say. However, returning to one of the precedent questions, if you decide to stand on your head on the road, then I don't think it will matter much to you whether the chicken is crossing the road physically or technically. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:14, January 24, 2014 (UTC)
So is your new chicken theory more philosophical or mathematical? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 21:03, January 24, 2014 (UTC)
“The philosophy is like a tree, whose roots are the metaphysics, its trunk the physics, and the branches the rest of sciences...”
Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:59, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
I thought that philosophy was dead and that we didn't have to listen self-declared 2000 year old "scientists" anymore and that we could listen to modern scientists for once. On that note who is the most inspirational historical chicken according to you? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:49, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
QuestforFreedom

"Surely our quest for freedom is more important than that!"

Philosophy is not dead. I think that the most inspirational historical chicken is "Le Coq Gaulois". Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:55, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
And so based on the well-known media technique in the media of "if it's not your favourite, it means you hate it" why do you hate Ginger from Chicken Run? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:06, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
Because it's not my favourite. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:52, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
But surely the star chicken in a film that satirically mocks the terrible conditions battery hens suffer by showing a correlation to WW2 prison of war camps is more important than some French cock? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:57, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
It is the film and not the chicken that mocks these terrible conditions. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:00, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Ahh but you gotta admit ginger is the hottest hen out there! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:12, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Is it a question? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:48, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Yes it's a goddam question! I know your slimy tricks trying to avoid the answers to the questions the public wants to hear. Don't you think Ginger the chicken is hot? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:55, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
I may sound cruel, but it is rather hot for the first half-an-hour, after you take it out from the oven, but then it gradually cools down. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:58, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Anton thanks to your previous comment and the fact that I hacked your phone (and don't give me any of that suing shit. Thanks to our hacks we exposed child abuse in th 1970s) I can safely publish this interview and the fact that you are in league with Mrs. Tweedy's Chicken Pie company. Good day!

Swap positions? You interview me? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:02, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

I will. But on your talk page. Welcome for the interview! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:24, January 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit A letter about Megan Fox

If you would like to go beyond your nice rewrite and actually vote Symbol keep vote Keep at VFD, I will declare that the 2-2 tie is beyond consensus and close the ballot. Spıke ¬ 17:37 21-Jan-14

It's done and thanks for telling me! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:52, January 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit Cheka

I stumbled on this while expunging Category:MINITRUE APPROVED. Found it in bad shape, corrected a lot of coding, but you might want to look at the text and see if you can improve it. Spıke ¬ 18:53 24-Jan-14

Thank you and I will look at it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:12, January 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit Shabidoo's queer

Looks like Shabidoo wants to tell you about your change to the Top Ten forum. It's easy to get confused between a Russian and a Scot, if only the Scot spoke Scots and the Russian didn't have a French accent. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:42, January 26, 2014 (UTC)

I have a Russian accent when speaking French, so it's a bit different. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:00, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Yes I can imagine you must sound very much like the "Poloshman" (Policeman) off Halo-halo to your French friends. Not that there is anything wrong with it, it just presents a beautiful challenge for impressionists. I myself have to explain my nationality to people as the Scottish accent I had is now long gone! Ma sin leat! Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:11, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
I like impressionism. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:49, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Yes, same here. "Look, this good impression of Anton, no?" Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:53, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Who is he? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:54, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Oh sorry that was my impression of Yanukovitch! Only without the dubbing done by Putin! I meant, "Hello my name is Anton and I am Frussian!" Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:59, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Frussian? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:00, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Like Spanglish but instead combining Fruit and Prussian. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:06, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
So Franglais is Fruit + English? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:25, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
No French, angles and raddish. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:37, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Ok. And Thainglish? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:40, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
I think that's a form of tie rack. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:48, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Ok Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:53, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Dokey (DK). By the way the two correct spellings are "OK" and "okay". Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:58, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
OK. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:59, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
In the immortal words of Big Brother, moments before being shot dead as a traitor of the party "I am and have for ever been always right." The Communist workers mis-interpreted these words thanks to the awful nature of the English language having one word with two meanings. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:09, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Same in Russian. That's why the English never understand Russians speaking. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:50, January 28, 2014 (UTC)
Sorry could you repeat that again slowly please? Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:18, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
What? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:25, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
Your last comment. Apparently I can't understand Russians speaking. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:25, February 10, 2014 (UTC)
Me neither. No, joking. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:49, February 11, 2014 (UTC)
So a Russian who speaks no Siberian. Interesting. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:55, February 12, 2014 (UTC)
In what way? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:57, February 12, 2014 (UTC)
In a holy way. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 09:10, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
How can a way be holy, if it is not leading to the Holy Grail? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:05, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
If one of the Python's managed to find the Holy Grail in one of the most loosely storylined film ever made, then anyone can. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:32, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
On any way? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:16, February 16, 2014 (UTC)

edit User Poledra24

Thanks for welcoming Poledra24. However, we have no evidence there is any such user (especially as Wikia has still not fixed the User Creation Log), only that Anon used Poledra24's user page. If you think that his version of Yu-Gi-Oh is better than the mainspace one, and would like to do the small amount of work to code it correctly, I'll restore it for you. Spıke ¬ 10:54 4-Feb-14

His version was not bad, but considering that I know nothing about the topic, I don't think I can. But thanks for telling me anyway! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:12, February 4, 2014 (UTC)

Do I get a say?

Poledra 24

See your talk page, please! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:49, February 5, 2014 (UTC)

edit Republic of Rhodesia

Thanks for looking for a middle ground with Happerocka, but you are right that telling a side joke in text is far better than distracting the reader with a side joke at the very beginning. I posted at his talk page.

Separately, on our past discussions of obscenity at Uncyclopedia, I have a reality-based use of obscenity at UnNews currently. Do you think that censoring it would improve it? or emasculate it? Spıke ¬ 14:37 8-Feb-14

I don't think it needs censoring. It is legitimate and the article is funny. As for me, I only found that the title of the news is too direct and blunt. I just think that it would be funny if there was a contrast between politicians' and journalists's speech (if the journalist would try to rephrase the politicians' words not to use swearing). But it's up to you! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:15, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
That's a valid point, but I can't think of a headline that packs the same punch. "Germans not amused by being told to fuck off" is funny and compelling. "Germans not amused at [some more tactful way of describing American diplomatic rhetoric]" hardly seems worth reading — perhaps just another "she said, she said" between diplomats. Spıke ¬ 15:35 8-Feb-14
Perhaps simply "Germans not amused"? The reader will want to find out why. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:31, February 9, 2014 (UTC)
That is just as bad as "Germans?" It's wishful thinking to hope that the reader's curiosity will do what the headline was supposed to do and didn't. The existing headline does what it's supposed to do: Indicate to those in the know what real-world news it keys off (for everyone else, there are the Sources) and roughly what it does with it. One problem here for headline-writing is that this UnNews wobbles — from taking the remark literally to other Obama YouTube moments and finally to health-care reform, never going where the headline implies and inventing a reason why the Germans should not have been offended at the remark. I put it on the Uncyclopedia main page, with censoring, but don't see a good way to do a graphic of it on the UnNews Front Page, nor of the other recent contributions. Spıke ¬ 14:15 9-Feb-14

edit Cheka FA

It appears that this article is going up. How shall we split the spoils? I sort of managed the rewrite process, but did not write any actual humor except for the quotations and a passing crack about Russian agriculture. And the original author might deserve credit for the concept and the many things he did with the Cheka=Checkers pun; or he might never become aware of it. It is established that the roof of the Hall of Shame will crack if points are awarded in fractions smaller than halves. Spıke ¬ 22:50 11-Feb-14

Half to you, half to me and half to the author? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:26, February 12, 2014 (UTC)
Don't underestimate your addition to the article! Something that you might consider proofreading and polishing often adds more to the article than an entire rewrite. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:29, February 12, 2014 (UTC)

A truly Russian solution. Perhaps American-style, you and I can split the credit, confident that, if Alfonts should show up and complain, I will refer him to you (and vice versa), while using my stooges in the media to start making the argument that he must harbor a grudge against everyone of my skin color.

By the way, alongside Category:MINITRUE APPROVED, I found a Category:CRIMETHINK, which by the way is still used on some of the remaining cruft on Wheeling Jesuit University. Spıke ¬ 20:19 12-Feb-14

I will look at it. Just so we do everything we can not to steal the credit we found on the street, I will leave a message at Alfonts talk and he possibly will or will not respond. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:24, February 12, 2014 (UTC)

Last edit was 4-Nov-06 except that he returned two years later and blanked his user page and (unused) talk page. Cheka was his only article. It is safe to assume we can have it (as without us, it would have remained dormant for another seven years). Spıke ¬ 20:31 12-Feb-14

I'll just congratulate him because he has just become a sir of Uncyclopedia, without knowing it. But I understand that he probably won't see it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:36, February 12, 2014 (UTC)

edit Uploading over

Sometimes it doesn't update straight away, like what happened with File:Suddenly, In-Jokes1.jpg, but will eventually correct itself after about an hour if left alone. In future if it doesn't update, I'd try waiting a while to see if it fixes itself. Also you listed it on QVFD, is the current version of the file the one you want to use? If so I'll remove it from QVFD. ~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) Icons-flag-au 23:22, February 16, 2014 (UTC)

No, thanks for your efforts but it was not the version I wanted to use. I'll reupload the file. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:18, February 17, 2014 (UTC)
Yes, new versions of existing illustrations are notoriously slow to take effect everywhere, and ?action=purge or refreshing your local cache doesn't seem to make any difference.
I have doubts about this project, Anton, as it stirs up intra-site and inter-site politics, also doubts about how the UnSignpost will look as a comic book; however, you have surprised me in the past with your tact. Spıke ¬ 14:30 17-Feb-14
I haven't finished it yet, I think it was a mistake to put it on the UnSignpost's main page so soon. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:00, February 17, 2014 (UTC)
What do you think about it now? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:19, February 17, 2014 (UTC)
It now seems not to stir up inter-site politics. My other reservations remain. There are (and have always been) profound disagreements at VFD between voters who want Uncyclopedia to be a good read and voters who want it to be a museum with a tidy RAHB wing with their own finger-paintings hanging on its walls. There might be a way to make sport of this — and the recent campaign to delete memes is news — but caricaturizing the participants isn't it. Spıke ¬ 19:48 17-Feb-14

Then what do you think is a good way to make sport out of this? I am afraid that the improvement on the aspects you mentioned will require a big change in the concept of the project. And I thought that the idea was good. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 21:04, February 17, 2014 (UTC)

edit The first UnSignpost of the year

That time I was nearly caught reading the UnSignpost, so now I am delivering it to you! Have a nice time reading it! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:36, February 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit Fantabulous

Thank you for tagging this one. In addition, last week you visited a lot of Uncyclopedians and told them approximately what I would have told them, and possibly with more tact. This frees my time and makes it easier for me too to administer through persuasion rather than bans, which is what you want.

In the case of this article, my approach was going to be to allow an hour or so (as I have posted to User talk:Genius31's talk page, as you are welcome to do too) and then userspace it, as I interpret the article's final line as an admission that the author has reached a dead end. Spıke ¬ 12:02 19-Feb-14

You are welcome! I am happy my edits help you and I will do my best to continue this work if I still have time for it! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:50, February 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit Noob of the Month

Thanks for nominating me! What an honor! I just want to take this moment to thank my mum and dad and friends and jesus. We finally made it! Banzaikitten (talk) 16:45, February 19, 2014 (UTC)

You deserved it. But it's still not a good excuse for asking different people to do this. And please acknowledge the fact that I nominated you before I saw your response to me! So it's not my fault. But anyway welcome! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:48, February 19, 2014 (UTC)
I hereby acknowledge that your nomination was of your own free will. I would vote for you in the Nominated Uncyclopedian of the Month but I imagine that would amount to some sort of vote rigging. Banzaikitten (talk) 16:52, February 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit Absurdity

The Cyrillic at the start of my new version of this article is wrong. You are welcome to correct it or to substitute any other snippet of Cyrillic, even if it is an in-joke to Russians. Spıke ¬ 13:52 20-Feb-14

Done! Nice restart! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:10, February 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit Hello There!

These days we never seem to have one-on-one sex conversations as I suppose we (for once) aren't collaborating on an article. I have come to console you (I know it's a bit tardy) for Russia's defeat in the Ice Hockey. I know it means the World to you. In this moment of downtime perhaps you would like to vent your anger:


It's my pleasure. Enjoy! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:16, February 20, 2014 (UTC) (This is not a secret plan by Cabal (not that there is one) to get you permabanned)

At UnNews talk:New Winter Olympic sports to freshen up the next games I suggest that an outlet for Russia's defeat — surely at the hands of referees who passers-by claimed were "gay" despite the best efforts of the government — would be to write an UnNews that I could feature side-by-side with Romartus's new UnNews on sports to be added in future years. Spıke ¬ 04:03 21-Feb-14
I am not really following the Olympics, but I can try, if I have any time. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:24, February 21, 2014 (UTC)
Nice template, Scott! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:24, February 21, 2014 (UTC)
In that case, it's not important. ScottPat and Romartus discuss a collaboration of Olympian proportions (but probably not an UnNews) at User talk:Romartus and ScottPat and I discuss it a bit further (with a mini-grammar lesson that you also might find useful) on my talk page. Spıke ¬ 17:26 21-Feb-14
Ok, I'll look at the discussion as well as the grammar lesson! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:28, February 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit Bioshock on VFD

I am about to flip to cast the deciding Delete vote, despite my comment that it could survive in another namespace. As you were the only voter who saw something to keep about this, do you want it in your userspace for possible reclamation? Spıke ¬ 13:44 21-Feb-14

Yes, please! Thank you! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:25, February 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit Moruga Scorpion Chili Review

Firstly, I'd like to thank you for reviewing the page in such depth, it's a very kind gesture and I find it rather helpful as my main aim is to get people laughing as opposed for my own self amusement or vanity (which there's plenty of anyway!). I appreciate all the feedback from anyone who spends any time reading the cack I write so just wanted to say… thanks!

I've had a good read through your feedback and made a fair few, if not subtle, changes regarding grammar, punctuation etc, and thanks for pointing them out. This particular article is one of many which I plan to write in regards to chili peppers (gobbling them is a personal hobby of mine). I'm not sure how far it will go but I plan to write at least another three or four chili-related articles with the intention that they will all inter-link with each other, hopefully cementing some of the themes I've introduced.

Also, at some point I will go back and create a separate article for both Combustion Units and The Clinker Method and all will become clearer as I begin to bulk out the chili articles (which I'm more than happy for you to contribute to if you fancy it?).

For the record, I have tried the mighty Moruga Scorpion and it's fiendishly vicious, in fact it's practically inedible unless used as a seasoning or shoved in a giant pan of something. Simsilikesims is correct when she mentions that it's not the hottest chili in the world, but this (unfortunately) highlights a future gag I'll be using throughout the chili pages.

Ps. If you need a hand putting a Bioshock article together let me know, I know the game inside-out and the potential for comedy is almost limitless. GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  13:37, February 23, 2014 (UTC)


“El ají pica dos veces”
~ ("The hot pepper will bite you twice") Unattributed
Hooray for another potential collaboration! Spıke ¬ 13:45 23-Feb-14
I am glad you are so enthusiastic about what you're writing and you are welcome! Thanks for offering your help for rewriting Bioshock, it would be good if we could work together on it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:56, February 23, 2014 (UTC)
I’d argue a complete rewrite from a more traditional angle, but keeping some of the "dialogue" you’ve saved is a must. The article is currently more of a running documentary as opposed to a Uncyclopedic entry. I’d personally rather turn it into a proper article and avoid the plethora of over-cooked ramblings from the original author - that’s not to say there isn’t some quality in there though, and we should reuse some of it. How about using the official Wiki version of Bioshock as a template, and rewrite it correcting all the lies they’ve told? GUN   SIR  MAC  BOSWELL  Knightssword   [†]  <12:22, February 24, 2014 (UTC)
Ok, sure. I will take time to read about the game but if you want you can start working on it already. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:30, February 24, 2014 (UTC)
More messages on your talk! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:58, February 28, 2014 (UTC)

edit Ukraine

If we do both make it out of WW3, then don't forget to remind me when we meet in the underground nuclear bunker that this page may need updating to record recent events! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:59, March 1, 2014 (UTC)

Sure. If I remember myself. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:05, March 1, 2014 (UTC)

edit William Wordsworth

Good work removing that final template! I have taken the template to VFD. Spıke ¬ 18:53 6-Mar-14

OK, I'll vote! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:02, March 6, 2014 (UTC)

Ah, but you had second thoughts on the way there. Please imagine yourself not as an author using the template to put a final dot on your comedy "i" but as a reader who didn't enjoy an article being told at the end that it is your fault.

Separately, thanks for working through the list of unpatrolled edits. I had left a few sizable edits from new users unpatrolled, and was about to ask Simsie to evaluate them. I thought they were mediocre but I think a lot of stuff is mediocre and was hoping for a second opinion. Spıke ¬ 19:43 6-Mar-14

Yes, I agree. You convinced me about the template! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:58, March 6, 2014 (UTC)
My Internet disappeared when I was at VFD! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:09, March 7, 2014 (UTC)

I am not buying this lame excuse, considering the high-tech Mecca in which you live, and especially that I mentioned on my talk page recently that the same might occur to me. But no matter, the template is now improved and kept! Spıke ¬ 17:00 7-Mar-14

You can consider it lame, but it was true, even though it was more complicated than what I said. Thanks for saving the template! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:00, March 7, 2014 (UTC)
"high-tech Mecca" by God, you're refering to Paris here. Not only would the internet provider's workforce be on strike but French Google too and the people who maintain the internet cables. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:02, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Isn't Paris - Mecca? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:07, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Pah! London, my good Man is Mecca, for York has already taken Jerusalem. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:12, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Then Moscow is Paris. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:16, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
A statement Peter the Great himself would have most likely said. Personally I think it's all about Budapest. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:28, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
How did Hungary get into this discussion? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:34, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Well it was lunch so I couldn't help feeling hunger. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:15, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia:VFP/Bonnieheart

Pray, what's wrong with the Prince of Wales' head? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:12, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

Some small bits of the other man's head are still there, I think. Also - the frame. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:16, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Done... Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:25, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Done... Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:26, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
DUN!!!!!!! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:29, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Thanks! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 12:32, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
Welcome! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:33, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
NB. It is "Your Welcome" (otherwise doesn't make sense). Also it is only really used in USA (maybe Canada) so us Brits don't say that, we say, "No problem" "That's ok" "My pleasure" etc. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:15, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
NEB: It is You're Welcome. You Are Welcome. Spıke ¬ 13:47 8-Mar-14
Whoops, what I meant to say but somehow didn't write! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:52, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
No problem. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:23, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit RationalWiki

Thanks for the clear-up. I think your English might be even better than mine! I'll have to consider migrating to the West Highlands and learning Gaelic properly. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:00, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

Don't worry, you probably beat me at Russian! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:56, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

edit thanks

Although the discussion tab for my user page now links to the archive I was attempting to create. How do I create new discussion page without deleting the new archive?--Sog1970 (talk) 19:32, March 8, 2014 (UTC)

As you will see, Anton and I answer each other's questions. Spıke ¬ 19:54 8-Mar-14

edit File:PixilatedOrgy.png on QVFD

This may be porn, but it's not going anywhere, as there is another user. Spıke ¬ 21:44 10-Mar-14

I replaced it there! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:21, March 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit Edit conflict

3 times in a row! Argh!                               Puppy's talk page09:33 am 11 Mar 2014

With me? I only had one today, and that was with myself. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:03, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
Yep. Each time I tried to move stuff off Collaboratory, you had made an edit to pretty up the stuff I was trying to remove.                               Puppy's talk page07:29 pm 11 Mar 2014
Oh, sorry, but it was worth the doing! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:37, March 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit Woah there!

I am most terribly sorry if I upset you. None of my comments were directed at you in anyway. The bragging was not done by you but members of the other site. The purpose of my posts were no to ridicule your idea but balance up the views as to why both wikis have a claim to being great and not one being better than the other. This was then followed by my explanation as to why a collaboration where we all moved to one site or another would fail and speculation that maybe a divorce was better. Your idea is wonderful Anton, I never meant to oppose it or you. Please point out the areas in which it seemed I did and I will have it rectified as soon as! Once again I am deeply sorry.

Also biology's not the best is it! Just stick with chemistry that is all that is interesting in biology! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:09, March 11, 2014 (UTC)

I was not offended, but upset - yes. And sorry if my own comment was not very kind (I tried to make it funny, but I guess my actual mood took over). I understand that you wanted to defend the site that was attacked so many times, and I understand that you wouldn't have left it in the first place, if it was not for others. And yes, it is not because of your message that I was upset but because of all the people who, instead of trying to find ways to make their place better, did their best to prove that the other place was worse. (I don't mean you!) Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:39, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

edit User:Anton199/Paris

I saw you were desperate for some advancements on this article so I started off the tourist section with a very British-biased summary of the Eiffel Tower. I don't know what the name of the park it is located in, in Paris is called so please could you fill in that bit. Feel free to edit, add more on or discard! Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:52, March 11, 2014 (UTC)

Actually, I don't know, but I will find out. You can see the Eiffel Tower from almost every place in Paris and it is hard to imagine that it is located somewhere! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:41, March 12, 2014 (UTC)
Oh, I see! Champ de Mars is like the closest place to it! Well, it basically is there, but that's just that it is not in the actual park (on the grass). But you are still right! Can you imagine the Eiffel Tower standing on grass? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:49, March 12, 2014 (UTC)
Great work, thank you! You made me laugh! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:50, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

edit My Sojourn

Macboswell has put on VFD another My Sojourn page, this one with a past. As I wrote there, I would rather defer to your project to organize or kill all of these. Would you at least comment at VFD on what you think of this one? Spıke ¬ 19:44 12-Mar-14

I wouldn't say that it is the best My sojourn and the humour is not easy to understand, as Aleister's comment showed. But it does have humour and even if the reader (as me and I presume - you) won't know who these people are, after ten chapters of that UnBook (and I took care to choose the best ones) he will still be amused (probably) by the fact that the same formula an be used to tell so many stories. I think this is the funniest thing in My sojourns! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:14, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

Perhaps weigh in at VFD and propose to move it into your binder? Spıke ¬ 20:17 12-Mar-14

Done! What do you think about the UnBook (if you have read it)? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:41, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

I think it is a good way to deal with these pages. Of course, I also think deletion is a good way to deal with them. Spıke ¬ 20:45 12-Mar-14

Some of them are really funny, especially after you read several! And this article helps you to read many of good ones at once, without having to search for them! I am going to sleep, so have a nice evening, night and the next day (I will have a lot to do in tomorrow)! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:58, March 12, 2014 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia:Why create an account?

What you are doing seems like a vast improvement.

  • Please ditch the bit about the ability to email users; this feature has been disabled for a year, based on the Fork's use of it to poach our users (a practice that evidently is still happening).
  • Please omit comments about whether this-or-that is fair or not. This is either your personal opinion, or at best an insider policy dispute, and not something to burden the newbie with. Spıke ¬ 13:18 20-Mar-14

Editors "edit and enjoy editing"? No one enjoys editing. If we could get the same result with no editing at all, we would embrace that in an instant. And, regarding Anon's ability to laugh at Uncyclopedia articles, we are working on technology by which you would not be able to laugh until you log in. Cheers! Spıke ¬ 13:18 20-Mar-14

Sure, thanks for your comments! Very appreciated! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:20, March 20, 2014 (UTC)

Likewise, jokes along the lines of, "You'll be amazed, but this does happen" are insider humor; Anon doesn't know what does and doesn't happen and doesn't benefit from this complication. Separately, the newest UnNews was filed by an Anon. I guessed from subject matter and his level of English proficiency that he is a Russian, and invited him to register, implicitly volunteering you as a buddy. Spıke ¬ 13:30 20-Mar-14

"This might not be fair" was a joke (now deleted), but I understand that it can be misinterpreted! "That happens" joke was based on repetition, but I will delete some of the uses of it. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:42, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
That was a good UnNews article! Thanks for mentioning me on the author's talk page! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:55, March 20, 2014 (UTC)

edit thanks!!!!

Thanks for the votes on the massage bugs (you are the only one to vote on the nom on either site!) and the guidebook. I'll have to fix the guidebook again, it got dissembled. Will get on that later. You are a gentleman and a scholar (so what are you doing on uncylopedia???). Thanks again! Aleister 14:54 21-3-14

You are welcome! Isn't Uncyclopedia for gentlemen and scholars? I would say that you are both, but it is you who should judge. Guidebook is great, I especially liked the last part ("Your wish is the cloud's command")! Also, two images in the middle of the article might need cutting because they have the "share" buttons on them. Apart from that - I don't see any problems. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:34, March 21, 2014 (UTC)

edit Napoleonic Wars

I want to mince words on this too, when you are done — You are spending a lot of time writing about Napoleon's thinking and decision-making, as an "encyclopedia article" writer would not know (or else would provide external evidence for). Spıke ¬ 19:31 21-Mar-14

When I am done, if some parts will still be in need of a rephrasing, you'll be more than welcome to do that! Thank you for offering your help! But there are also certain phrases and sometimes even paragraphs, which are not encyclopedic, but which I would like to be kept. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:39, March 22, 2014 (UTC)

edit HowTo:Fry an egg

This is remarkable! It works despite being non-encyclopedic. My only advice is to see the narrator as though he is wearing a necktie and lab coat, never a backward baseball cap: calm and not ranting at the newbie until the moment they blow up the kitchen. Spıke ¬ 12:04 23-Mar-14

I will see where I can polish it! Thank you for your comments, once again! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:32, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
Is it better now? [1] Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:59, March 23, 2014 (UTC)

edit Forum:Modifying our policies on blanking talkpages‎

Mhaille has used my recent Forum to segue to whether our mentality is too rule-bound. He says he is not targeting individuals but has now brought up the incident or prank where Aleister insisted that I enforce evenhandedly against Mhaille the rule that VFD votes must be timestamped. In view of all this, this new Forum of yours proposing wordy legislation to deal with a non-issue is potential Drama City. My short answer to it: No, a newbie shouldn't even delete a welcome, because this will just make someone waste time re-welcoming him, with him perhaps taking the repeat welcome the worst way. But I don't care if a user with no other edits blanks. Our policy does not depend on Wikipedia. Wordsmithing an exception in cases that don't involve controversy is a waste of time. Spıke ¬ 15:54 23-Mar-14

The incident regarding timestamping was brought up because I was invited to vote on VFD. I was merely pointing to the event which followed the last time I took time from my busy schedule to do so. If you don't think it relevant to the conversation or if you believe that I am targeting individuals it would sadden me greatly, just as I would imagine it would sadden you if you were to discover anyone believed you were targeting individuals unfairly.
As to whether anyone's mentality is too rule-bound I couldn't possibly comment, but I would imagine that it would probably be a greater source of drama rather than something to help reduce it if it was the case. I would also imagine that it could be a greater cause of people voting with their feet than say the amount of list-cruft or crappy articles on the site. But that's probably just me. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

Oh, I did not base the proposal on Wikipedia, I just used what an essay says there as an argument. I don't think this is a non-issue, as a lot of conflicts we have come from talkpage blanking. And I tried to be as clear as possible without giving any judgement. So my conclusion would be that it is a potential place for drama, but the risks are really not that high, even considering what's happening at your other forum. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:48, March 23, 2014 (UTC)

"Look after your pennies and the pounds will sort themselves out - unless you're American, pennies refer to coins and you think they should be abolished." Surely if we keep writing and improving articles the bureacracy will sort itself out. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:50, March 23, 2014 (UTC)

edit You deserve a big thanks and lots of ice cream

Thanks for your vote on the cloud faces page, which is now sitting on the main page! Your push, and then Chief's vote, unexpectedly (to me) pushed it over the line. I was all set to ask an admin to take it down for lack of votes, and then you came along. You said you could see a couple of faces, may I ask which ones? And if you spend some time with the pic, and see them all, it's quite a trip (a historical trip!). Thanks again, and prized geese and pudding to you. Al 11:19 24-3-14

I can see almost everything, that's just that I am not sure I see the right things. James Bevel's one is very good (which could as well be Abe Lincoln) and the last pâir of photos is the funniest, even if you don't necessarily see the face better than before. What concerns lack of votes at VFH, I don't know what happened to Uncyclopedia:VFH/IPod Car (2nd nomination). It's as if people don't see it at all. Apart froml Spike, bien sûr, but he has his own reasons for not voting. Could you please help by voting(it doesn't matter whether it will be for or against)? Good job on getting this polished and featured! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:51, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for opening up the Reviewer of the Month again, that's one of the several valued awards here. On the IPodCar page, I have a standing personal policy of never editing or voting on car pages. Just a thing with me. It's a good concept. Did you put it up on the other half of Uncy? I have a feature here that only one other person voted on, and over a few weeks I voted nine times, and TKF thought that was cool and put the feature up. It's one way to go. Your other pages are usually gems, though, and my voting finger is itchy (I haven't looked at some of the newer noms, and will get to that soon). Wow, you can see most of the faces/images, nice. My favorite is the Goddess of Liberty, when she's seen it's an amazing cloud image (as are about five or six of these images, which is the strange and possibly unique thing about this particular cloud-image discovery). How about that black guy looking out, the pic that's on the main page. The damn thing has an eye with an iris and eyelashes! Aleister 12:21 24-3-14
Yep, nice photo! Many large clouds are very interesting to discover, and what I like the most is when you can see how a pig becomes a man or something similar! Also thanks for voting at RotM!

What concerns cars, your policy is the one an Uncyclopedian would have! Most of the text on the page was not mine, I just reformatted it. And no, I haven't put it on the other site. I don't like copying and pasting something from one side to another, even if it is my own text.

Thanks for the compliment on my articles, by the way! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:09, March 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit Section blanking

I mentioned your article in HTBFANJS as an approach that was funnier than simply looking like the things they're about. Spıke ¬ 11:59 24-Mar-14

It has grown from such! (And I hope to do more) Thanks, Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:39, March 25, 2014 (UTC)

edit User Chelsey91C‎

Thank you for welcoming this user. However, nothing on her user page makes sense — although it does not include a commercial link — and I am not convinced this is a real Uncyclopedian. Please keep an eye on her. Spıke ¬ 19:45 25-Mar-14

I saw that it looked like spam, but in that case the absence of an external link did not make sense, as you noticed. Unless there is a code, and if you solve it, you will get to another website. Maybe it is a human being, though. There are a lot of those nowadays. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:50, March 25, 2014 (UTC)

Anxious to tell us her REAL NAME but username having nothing to do with it (and number suffix which is not her implied birth year). Staying in California to get into an obviously fake (or just funny?) institution in Florida (2000 miles east). We'll see. Spıke ¬ 20:03 25-Mar-14

edit Paramedic

I set out to organize the lists and rationalize the new user's contributions, and got carried away. Would you care to flip your vote on VFD, or better yet, contribute a photo? Spıke ¬ 12:12 26-Mar-14

Better yet? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:29, March 26, 2014 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia:VFP/Stalin Jamming.gif

Could you review your decision on this picture please? Thanks. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:33, March 27, 2014 (UTC)

edit The UnSignpost is back from holiday

We have not forgotten about you (yet)! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:41, March 28, 2014 (UTC)

edit Thanks for the UnSignpost!

Great effort! If you ever require my help in making one, notify me a day before you decide to make it. I'm not sure what's up with Spike banning you, I'm sure it was a mistake and I've notified Spike. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 20:47, March 28, 2014 (UTC)

I will definitely do this next time! Sorry and thanks for notifying Spike about the mistake! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:03, March 29, 2014 (UTC)

I am told I banned you and, at the bottom of my talk page, I guess how it might have happened. This was totally a typing (or pointing) mistake on my part, is not about anything, and I hope you are still awake to read this. Very sorry! Spıke ¬ 21:55 28-Mar-14

Found it! At 17:27 UTC, you cleaned up overt and self-described vandalism to User:Hotadmin4u69/UncycBot‎‎. The ban was intended for vandal 50.185.207.125. The Block buttons all look alike.... Spıke ¬ 22:18 28-Mar-14

And much later, I recalled something Simsie once taught me, and took the block off your IP address as well. Additional apologies! Spıke ¬ 22:50 28-Mar-14

That's fine, I discovered both the ban and your messages this morning! (At first, when I only saw the block, I couldn't understand whether it was the delivery of the UnSignpost or something else that became vandalism.) Another possible reason for this is that I left "Random vandalism" as the change summary of the revert, because the vandal replaced some of the words with the same text. I will not repeat the same mistake! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:03, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
I would also like to thank Chief for unblocking me and you for unblocking my IP! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:10, March 29, 2014 (UTC)

I am pleased and relieved that my mistake did not inconvenience you. (Or if it did, that we got an UnSignpost out of you first.) Spıke ¬ 21:20 29-Mar-14

Yep, the timing was good! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:49, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

edit otM awards

Hey. You're supposed to wait until the end of the month (UTC) before giving out otM awards. (With the exception of NotM, as that has been rejigged to give all eligible applicants the award, so it only needs the 5 votes.) I don't think Shabidoo was likely to be voted down though.                               Puppy's talk page01:46 pm 29 Mar 2014

Ah, I remember now: "Hey. Standard rule is that we award the "of the month" awards the first day of the new month. NoTM is slightly different, in that it's a rolling award, but might as well be treated the same as the others while we have a low vote tally on these." I knew that I was allowed to award NotM, so I did that, and then I thought that if I awarded one thing, I might as well do the other one. Sorry. Is it bad? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:09, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
Not in this case. More an issue if two people are neck and neck for the award and the voting is closed early. It used to be a habit if some users (like me) to wait until the last couple of days of the month before they voted, which could dramatically swing the vote.                               Puppy's talk page02:14 pm 29 Mar 2014
OK, I will remember it next time. Sorry for not allowing you to vote! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:16, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
It's cool. I voted for Shabby, and said hi to Nick anyway.                               Puppy's talk page02:27 pm 29 Mar 2014

edit UnSignpost:Interviews

We ought to interview the Chief and ask him what real life was like, exiled from Uncyclopedia. Would make a great front page story. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 18:50, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

Oh, definitely! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:57, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

edit April Fool

Putting my own talk page on QVFD, through a redirect, without {{Redirect}}? Was that:

  1. I see you're awake, good morning! or
  2. Let's find out how sloppy a typist he really is! or
  3. I want to be banned for real this time!

I'd whack you good, if it weren't so ambiguous. Spıke ¬ 10:20 1-Apr-14

Good morning! I guess I should better leave the ambiguity. No, I am joking, it was a failed April Fool joke. Imagine an empty talkpage with April Fool written all over it!
By the way, have you been here ten minutes ago when the battle on the upload log happened? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:35, April 1, 2014 (UTC)

Now that was a failed April Fool joke! No, I was still at the coffee-maker at the time; otherwise, I would have banned him until 2-Apr-15 (to save having to do it again next time). (PS--Simple past tense is called for in your last sentence; either "Have you been here (for) ten minutes?" or "Were you here ten minutes ago?") Spıke ¬ 10:43 1-Apr-14

I see! Ah, past perfect! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:47, April 1, 2014 (UTC)

Yikes! "Had you been here (continuously) between the start and the end of the battle?" (Or intermittently during it?) Not what you want at all. Spıke ¬ 10:52 1-Apr-14

Wait, what's wrong with me? That definitely doesn't make sense. I think that my tenses are completely messed up today. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:48, April 1, 2014 (UTC)

In America, we say: When experiencing annoying tenses, practice relaxation. (At least, in Chinatown.) Spıke ¬ 16:19 1-Apr-14

Yes, I should. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:59, April 1, 2014 (UTC)
A man walks into a bar muttering to himself "I was; I am; I was; I am...". The bartender hears him and says "Woah! Calm down. You're two tense!"                               Puppy's talk page09:33 am 02 Apr 2014
Haha! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:24, April 2, 2014 (UTC)

I am missing lots of conversations the first time through, now that other users are suddenly doing a lot of the Patrol work! Puppy has spent the day tweaking {{LinearGradient}} to work on more browsers; are you now able to see my signature? Spıke ¬ 15:31 2-Apr-14

Yep! Beautiful! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:19, April 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit Uncyclopedia:VFH/The Art of War

Perhaps mousieur would care to take a look at zis little nomination page? Merci beaucoup!Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 10:16, April 5, 2014 (UTC)

Change Summary: Zut alor! He olvido mi signature. Cripes, you're as bad in other languages! Should be olvidado mi firma. And Zut has a tent. Spıke ¬ 11:20 5-Apr-14
And now for the shameful explanation: While I admit I screwed up the Spanish verb tense (should be "he olvidado"), "signature" was written in English as Anton does not speak Spanish and it would give him a hint to what I was on about. I don't know how to type "u"s with tents on in change summaries! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 06:52, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
I am trying to speak Spanish, but no, I didn't know signature was "firma". Maybe I did, but I forgot. I think I read it somewhere. Mousier is now going to look at zis nomination page. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 07:28, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
Dankershun! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:30, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
Hold down the alt key and type 150. If that's not it then I'm only off by a few numbers. The caps versions are around the 0210 mark.                               Puppy's talk page08:29 am 07 Apr 2014
The Spanish ones are at 160-164 (161 for í is easy to remember), except é is at 130 with the other French ones. He means hold down the Alt key and type the number on the keypad (which my newest PCs don't have, waah). Also, Num Lock had better be down, because when you type the 4 in Alt+164, you get Alt-Left-Arrow. Alternatively, run charmap. Spıke ¬ 13:45 7-Apr-14

edit Happy Belated Anniversary!

Woooooo! Woooo!!! You been on this website for a year - a year, man! For being a great pal of ScottPat's and for being an all round top fellow, we would like to present you with:


YEAH!!! Do enjoy yourself! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 13:27, April 7, 2014 (UTC)

Thank you so much! And I also knew you were the master of parody! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:47, April 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit Data and level 2

Thank you :) Took me a while but I think it looks a lot better now. And yes I am most certainly back :D

Ihasakitler 16:48, April 7, 2014 (UTC)

Great! Planning to write something? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:49, April 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Mean furniture hide before killing

Thanks for the touch up and the VFH vote. It is not the most common occurence that I trundle off into the realm of un-encyclopedic writing however on this occasion I have only done it for the purposes of parody of satire and I'm glad to see that someone enjoys it. Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:52, April 7, 2014 (UTC)

"Parody of satire"? This is original. On a proofreader's note, radicle is pure French, even though there is no such word in that language. That's why I presume you've earned the citizenship in this land, no? Congratulations! Anyway, I don't know how you managed to write several good UnNews at once and I always like voting for your articles! Also, this message is too long and this is probably because I am drunk (with water). Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:21, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
"Parody or satire" was what it was meant to be, sorry. A drunk Russian! Good on you. Do you want to do a collaboration on a re-write of the article Norway? I started by doing the side bar but that is it. I think we ought to take the angle of Norway being a small, powerless country with a tonne of resources and some very hungry, powerful countries surrounding it. Also thanks for the Footlizer nomination, much appreciated! Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 19:21, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
I'll join in if I have any time! Again: it was water, not anything else. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 08:47, April 8, 2014 (UTC)
Heavy water? Russian water - vodka? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 08:10, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
I don't know, but it was not Russian (and it was water). Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:18, April 9, 2014 (UTC)

edit Preggos

Spetsnaz

Another common thing a real Russian would never do.

I thought we were trying to lure Mnbvcxz back to activity! Now you go orphaning his Preggos! Separately, is it common for Russians to be able to get drunk on only water? Spıke ¬ 17:50 8-Apr-14

No, no. No, because the image was not his, even though it was on one of his articles. And no, because Russians are not able to do anything common. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:56, April 8, 2014 (UTC)
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