User talk:An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/archive1

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edit Welcome!

Hello, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/archive1, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! ---- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 23:01, 3 March 2007 (UTC)

edit I'd just like to say

You've got the best username in the history of Uncyc. Ever. -- Hindleyite Converse 20:50, 23 March 2007 (UTC)

Thank you. It's a bitch to type in every time i login though. An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays 21:54, 24 March 2007 (UTC)

An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Consult the Oracle 21:05, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

edit You MIGHT NOtE IT

KnoW TimEs Not tOO GooD? WheaT In MNY CEREAAAAL? THE cornFLARES? girls)--Fonchezzz 18:48, 13 June 2007 (UTC)

edit Your sig...

...is bleeding code. See Signature-orama! for how to make it less space-wasterly. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:35, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

Fixed -- smelly Ape (baste) (Riot Porn) 20:47, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

Hurrah! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 20:53, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

edit Excuse Me

What was your reason to remove the other information on the AKHM page? Most of that other information that was added was the only new information that was added after the page was deleted. Please give me a reason not to re-add the stuff. And besides, I am assuming your first removal was before conservation week. -- 11:41, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

My first change was to add an ICU tag. Then I decided to fix the article as part of Conservation week. Its not the funniest thing I've ever written but can you honestly say that it was funnier before my rewrite. See here for my Pee Review which was ignored. The old article was terrible and is not worthy of a place on Uncyclopedia (See UN:HTBFANJS). Nor is it any good as a compromise with my stuff and yours. I tried to use stuff from the article and the old article was a guide for my version. Please consider it an improvement rather than a replacement. -- smelly Ape (baste) (Riot Porn) 18:25, 8 September 2007 (UTC)

edit Okay...

Cannon

CANNON YOU DICK

Where do we start?.... Here we go!

Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Guidelines

I'm assumuming you've never read that page, cause you pretty much violate every rule on it. Now what else do we have here...


(From pee review)

Humour: 2 Unbelievably poor. This article is a bloody mess of stupid jokes, memes and easy targets. For example: The AKHM was formed in 1832, less than one hour after the Non-Huffable Kitten whooped Barney's ass and sent him into a black hole. (or as some call it Paris Hilton's vagina) Come on! Barney! Paris Hilton's vagina! An eight year old could come up with those. (you aren't eight are you?) Okay, first of all, if you were not such an unbeleivable dick, maybe you would have read the [[User:Ratmaster/Non-Huffable KittenNon-Huffable Kitten]] page. Than you would see that this information is CANON. It is an attempt to make articles coherent by joining their information to make it seem like FACT. Secondly, am I eight? Would an eight year old know who Paris Hilton is or what a vagina is? No. Retarded question. You need to stop going for the stupid joke when you're stuck for inspiration. Take your time rather than write the first thing that comes into your head Funny, I got the idea from you!. I suggest you go back and remove all references to Barney, Paris Hilton, Chuck Norris, Voldermort, rape, Michael Moore, you, Jimmy Wales, masturbation, Communism etc CANNON YOU DICK. Then you should rewrite based on the shell you have left and think up some good clever jokesBecause you just seem to manufacture them, don't you?. Perhaps expand on their use of human huffing (great idea) and make the war more like the movie Cats and Dogs instead of using nukes (but obviously with the humans fighting the cats instead of the dogs). No one knows whether their adorable kitten is as member of the AKHM or not Stop trying to cradle my testicles.
Concept: 7 The concept is good I guess What an educated, detailed statement!
Prose and formatting: 3 The article is kind of all over the place. Poor spelling and grammar. Too many images and templates causing big chunks of empty space. Not good. None of the white space was caused by templates or images, its just shitty flaws in the wiki format
Images: 5 Catgun What the hell is that about? There are too many images. you could stand to lose some Its a war involving armed kittens. Do you seriously not see the relevance here? . Some are good e.g. Kitten War
Miscellaneous: 4
Final Score: 21 I get the feeling this article could be so much better. As it is its actually worth huffing in my opinion (Oh the irony!) It needs work Oh, that's what you were trying to say all along?!? I sort of lost your kindness and concern when you called me an eight year old!.
Reviewer: -- smelly Ape (baste) (Riot Porn) 19:53, 31 August 2007 (UTC)


Now here's your stuff from the AKHM talk page-

I re-added stuff but I really didn't remove anything. I may have added the double picture (I don't even remember seeing two of the same pictures) by accident. I assume I'm the retard That assumption would be correct. I rewrote the article because the old one was a pile of shit What a kind human being you are!. Let me make this plain: THERE ARE NO FUNNY PARTS OF THE THE ARTICLE THAT I DIDN'T ADD. That may sound arrogant but it is, in fact, true.No, that's not true, yes you are arrogant and I might add, a complete dick for even thinking of writing that . I suggest you use my rewrite because 1)It makes no sense as a hybrid. 2) The old article was utter arse gravy Dickdickdickdick.

Here's what Ratmaster posted on my talk page and my response (for reference)

What was your reason to remove the other information on the AKHM page? Most of that other information that was added was the only new information that was added after the page was deleted. Please give me a reason not to re-add the stuff. And besides, I am assuming your first removal was before conservation week. --Ratmaster Don't Hurt Me... | KITTENS! 11:41, 8 September 2007 (UTC) Im sorry that I did'nt find out ratmaster defended my article sooner. I extend my apologies to this NOT DICK for doing this.

My first change was to add an ICU tag "Basically, everything needs to be changed"? How elaborate.. Then I decided to fix the article as part of Conservation week. Its not the funniest thing I've ever written but can you honestly say that it was funnier before my rewrite I swear I could!. See here for my Pee Review which was ignored Not anymore!. The old article was terrible and is not worthy of a place on Uncyclopedia (See UN:HTBFANJS) Nor are you. Nor is it any good as a compromise with my stuff and yours. I tried to use stuff from the article and the old article was a guide for my version. Please consider it an improvement rather than a replacement. An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Consult the Oracle 18:25, 8 September 2007 (UTC) An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Consult the Oracle 19:52, 9 September 2007 (UTC)

DarkBlue 20:40, 10 September 2007 (UTC) Lets do this again sometime!

edit This is not a Whoring!

I repeat this is not a whoring. I was just wondering if you would be opted to vote on my VFH nominated article Buster Keaton this is not a whore because I want you to vote whatever you feel it deserves, but thus far really well respected writers have given it good pee reviews and have voted For it. But you can do whatever you like anyway it's having some slow voters it's not an article name that really draws much attention so could you please vote on it? --Dr. Fenwick 19:29, 4 October 2007 (UTC)

edit Welcome to UnNews

UnNews:Scientists create new protein drink from 'recycled' fetuses... ewwww!


Che Ape

Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC) Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 23:25, 15 October 2007 (UTC)

edit Vote for Head Removal!

Dear Sir/Madam/Fungus,

The article by EugeneKay, HowTo:Cut Your Own Head Off With a Circular Saw, has been nominated on VFH. Please take action and vote with a friendly For. Thank you for your time.

(Vote against and you will have your head cut off)

    EugeneKay wuz here (whine thank)   15:49, 18 October 2007 (UTC)  

edit HowTo:Get out of Jail

Hello, I was trying to whore some votes for this, will you support?--Sir Manforman CUN 18:06, 20 October 2007 (UTC)

edit Hello Comrade!

Warning:

You were whored once by an evil man who has gone from the dark side to the side of goodness. He has ended his whoring ways. he has crawled out of his swamp of depression. He has taken up golf and fishing. He has shaved his face. He has taken a shower. He has eaten breakfast. He has put on a white suit. He has gone back to work. He has gotten engaged. He has taken away the hot picture that used to be here. This template replaces the evil whoring he once did. He is sorry. This message was paid for with positive energy and love

--BlueflatcapsigMajor'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 19:22, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

Don't listen to a word he says--Æ 20:03, 10 December 2007 (UTC)
In fact, don't listen to anyone! Go vote for user:UnTalented, as that person isn't a bastard unlike the rest of us. --BlueflatcapsigMajor'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 01:58, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
Don't listen to him!!! Don't listen to me!!! Ahh!!!--Æ 16:14, 12 December 2007 (UTC)

edit I'm a Flithy Whore!

Please vote on the health de-plenishing but well reviewed article now on VFH Why?:Does Christopher Meloni not have an emmy yet? you don't have to vote for it but seeing as Chris doesn't have an emmy yet he's greatly appreciate it. --Dr. Fenwick 22:44, 13 December 2007 (UTC)

edit Merry Xmas!

BonnerGame
Bonner would like to wish you

a Merry Christgame
And a happy New Game
P.S, You just lost the game
BonSig.png (Bonner) Icons-flag-gb (Talk)

edit Have a not-shitty Christmas!

WinterBreakCalendar Heya, The Led Balloon here, wishing you merry Christmas, or any other holiday you feel like celebrating. Just remember what it's all really about: NO WORK, NO SCHOOL, FREE STUFF!!!
Here's to hoping your school(or work) calendar for December doesn't look too much like this...

Merry Christmas, - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:26, Dec 17

edit Bloody Pagans

PremierTomMayfairCheXMAS
Pagans, the Whole Lot of Yous

Premier Tom Mayfair has been a naughty boy this year, but he still deserves a kiss from under the mistletoe. His external organ is fair game.

SpacerSpacerPremierTomMayfairChe RedPhone Unsoc Hammer and sickle

edit The Nofu Aristocracy

Hello Commander, I must inform you first off that you have been approved as a member of the Nofu Aristocracy with the rank of Seigneur (name changed, basically means a minor lord in the nobility class). As the Nofu Aristocracy is busy this time of year, we will not be taking an active role until after the many festivities and holidays. You can still use the title "Seigneur de Nofu", just link it to the forum for now. We will have an official article and department in a while. Your patience is appreciated. Your bank account will be made soon.

Most Officially, --BlueflatcapsigMajor'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 01:00, 24 December 2007 (UTC)

edit Merry Xmas!

~ Merry Xmas An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays/archive1! ~

--YeOldeLuke 08:00, 26 December 2007 (UTC)

edit Hey Ape: Join PEEING.

Hey Ape (but I already said that). You might as well sign the membership request on PEEING. You're almost there, anyway. Think of it: a whole new template can go on your userpage!   Le Cejak <-> (Jan 2) 15:33

edit Pee Review Thanks

GoldenShower Rejoice, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award
GoldenShower2
For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

Thanks for the review on Why?:Wear clothes 3 sizes too small, you had some great suggestions. Sorry that I didn't get to you until now, I've been quite busy lately--Æ 22:05, 12 January 2008 (UTC)

edit fuck... I'm sorry! You can kick my ass.

Soccer kick

If you aim it just right, you can severley damage my asshole and rip my nutsack open, thereby making certian I do not spawn any more little fuckfaces.

I ADMIT IT! I WAS AN ASSHOLE! I was a fucking cock-whore noob, I can't take criticism well, and I am officially a shithead douchebag asshole. Therefore, I am officially rewarding you with One (1) free opputunity to kick my stupid ass! (Note: These oppurtunities do not stack and are non-transferable). Feel free to not accept my apology, but this is something I just had get off of my chest. No doubt that your penis is many times larger than mine. DarkBlue 17:13, 17 February 2008 (UTC)

edit Congratulations!

On the "The Dog Dies at the End" FA. I was going to vote for it, but by the time I noticed it was nominated, it'd been featured already. Good work, though, it's a hilarious artikle. --THE 20:16, 3 May 2008 (UTC)

edit This Page Is On Fire Pee

Heyo! Thanks for the pee you did for me, I just wandered by because I wanted to know if there where any more changes you think I should make... I reckon I've done most, if not all, of the ones you suggested (but the herring section may still be a bit weak). Thanks again and thanks in advance! - 16:03 7 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

Hey thanks for nominating it. Pity it didn't make it and died so quickly! Oh well. - 23:40 16 May Sir FSt. (QotF BFF NotM) YTTETalk!Read!Sign!Whore!CMC!Pee!

edit UnSignpost: May 22nd, 2008

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 20:06, 22 May 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 02:54, 29 May 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008

User:Fnoodle/UnSignpost/05-36-08 THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:13, 5 June 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 17:06, 12 June 2008 (UTC)

edit End of your finals

I noticed that you aced your fingerpainting final. Could I get some regular ol' non-Pee Review feedback on an article? Also, instead of waiting for a response, let me just link whore it to you now: Traditional Values ...I just thought you might like some activity on your talk page. If you don't want to, I'll understand, but I warn you: I WILL CRY.   Le Cejak <0:39, 21 Jun 2008>

edit UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 01:15, 21 June 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:27, 27 June 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:22, 12 July 2008 (UTC)

edit Poo Lit Surprise

I'm sending you this because you are signed up to judge the Poo Lit Surprise. If you no longer want to judge or are incapable of, please tell me as soon as possible. If you're still good to go, here are the instructions:

First, read all of the articles in your specified category. Second, judge them. Judge how you like, as long as it's at least fair and based on merit (one suggestion would be to use the Pee Review format). Post your top 5 articles here. Hit me up on my talk page for questions, comments, or if these rules are not cognizant within you.

Thank you again for your valued participation in the balletic train wreck that is the Poo Lit Surprise! ~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:26, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

edit ICU usage

Hya Ape, I've noticed you've put an {{NRV}} template on an article. This has been long ago deprecated. Please the {{ICU}} in the future. Also, try not to be too harsh with your remarks, we're trying to be nice to noobs, not scare them off. Thanks. ~Jewriken.GIF 11:16, 15 July 2008 (UTC)

OK, noted. -- smelly Ape (baste) (Riot Porn) 22:54, 16 July 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:58, 20 July 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: July 24th, 2008

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:34, 24 July 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008

THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 07:42, 5 August 2008 (UTC)

edit signpost

hey ape, thanks for your contribution to the signpost this week! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:11, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

No problem. I'm hoping to become a psuedo-regular contributor. -- smelly Ape (baste) (Riot Porn) 18:12, 7 August 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: August 7th, 2008

Painstakingly hand-delivered by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:34, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

edit I tampered with

the voter guide for the 2008 Presidential Election by adding the Michele Obama thing. My mother, who is a crazed voter that we all fear gave me the idea, and I just felt it worked with it.

Please don't hate me. Hugs, Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:40, 12 August 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: August 14th, 2008

Fired out of a newspaper cannon by: SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 17:59, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

edit Paperboy Article

Like it. Nice one! I have nothing more to say on the subject. I think I smell popcorn. --UU - natter UU Manhole 20:41, Aug 18

Thanks. -- smelly Ape (baste) (Riot Porn) 20:45, 18 August 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: August 21st, 2008

MantiBot Icons-flag-au.png Owner 12:05, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

edit UnSignpost: August 28th, 2008

–—Hv (talk) 30/08 20:16

edit ADOPT ME

I wanna be adopted! i have two articles ive written fully, and want help on to make them a bit more uncyclopediaish. i also need help with pictures and formatting, im on here alot. PLEASE HELP!

Ape, I got this guy covered: he asked both of us for adoption, I assume because both of our names have to do with monkeys. Anyway, yeah. That's it. --Mr. Monkey Sockmonkey Pant-hoot here. 00:02, 5 December 2008 (UTC)
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