User talk:Alexschmidt711

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

edit Welcome to Uncyclopedia

Spike the Dog (06b)

Spike is a grumpy old dog. You can stroke his fur, or you can be smitten by his stick. It is up to you.

Hello, Alexschmidt711, and welcome to Uncyclopedia. This is a wiki (a collection of pages anyone can edit). Words in blue are "links" and can be clicked to take you to another page. This wiki is for comedy. It pretends it's Wikipedia, but we make people laugh, not bore them. If you aren't interested in a fake encyclopedia but in writing fake news stories, we have UnNews, and there are other projects for scripts, lyrics, how-to guides, and so on.

You can create your own article. For starters, create it under your own name; for example, User:Alexschmidt711/Bedbug. (The red instead of blue is a link to a page that doesn't yet exist.) We have a list of articles that need to be created. You can help without writing articles; just read articles and, if you see an improvement in writing or in comedy, jump in and edit it. In fact, you can help without writing at all, such as organizing, watching for vandals, or even greeting other new users.

To write articles, you need a sense of humor and an ability to write good English. We all have strengths and weaknesses and you can get help in any area. But everyone needs an ability to work with other people. Be polite, positive, and helpful toward others, and assume others are doing the same toward you. Here are some pages that might help:

Scotty and the bloody knife
Writing funny articles
Understanding Uncyclopedia: About usBeginner's GuideHow to editOur projectsGetting ideasHelp menu
Understanding Funny: How To Be Funny And Not Just StupidFunny and not just stupid imagesChoosing words creatively
What to avoid: VandalismCyberbullyingWriting about yourself or your palsDramaOveruse of initial quotationsOveruse of lists
What people have asked for: ArticlesPictures
Additional help: Get spelling/grammar helpFind or become a co-authorHow to write an UnNewsAsk an AdminGet feedback on your work
For personal help
  • The administrators are willing to help you, and several Uncyclopedians are willing to adopt you.
  • I will watch this page for a while and will know if you edit it. Afterward, you can contact me on my own talk page.
  • If you've written an article, we have a Proofreading service where someone will correct your mistakes, and a review process where an experienced Uncyclopedian will read your article and suggest improvements.
How to post to talk pages

Please follow these general rules:

  • Add comments at the end of a talk page so people notice them.
  • Start your paragraphs with one or more : characters to indent them and set them off from other people's posts.
  • At the end, type ~~~~ (four tildes), which gets replaced by your user name and the current date and time.
  • Don't delete anyone's messages. In case of any controversy, we depend on an accurate record of what was written. You may disavow your remarks by striking them through like this.

I hope you enjoy it here and write a lot of funny stuff! Spıke Ѧ 18:07 18-Jul-14

edit Formerly sent to

You are obviously a knowledgeable writer, with a knack with words too! I hope you pick a user name and stick around! You can use spaces instead of underscores in links. Spıke Ѧ 02:57 18-Jul-14

edit National Mall and Fillmore

Thanks for commending my Fillmore article! I was surprised that no article on Fillmore was there. The ideas in the National Mall aren't entirely original, although most were created by me at some time. If there is a way to add content, it could become a great article. Alexschmidt711 (talk) 17:45, July 18, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks for registering! This article is now at User:Alexschmidt711/National Mall, where you can continue working on it at your leisure. Spıke Ѧ 18:07 18-Jul-14
PS--I have tagged Millard Fillmore, as there is nothing beyond your nice Intro. If this will take time, let me know and I'll move it to your userspace as well. (You will see a Move button in a few days with which to do this yourself.) Spıke Ѧ 19:23 18-Jul-14
@Spike: I have improved Millard Fillmore somewhat. Is it out of the ICU now? I requested a pic of Fillmore wearing a wig.
OK, sure, but keep going. I saw your request of RadicalX, but he has Not Been Down For Breakfast for a long time. We usually steal from Google Images. The usual approach is not necessarily to wait for the perfect shoop, but to get a relevant photo from somewhere and make it funny by the caption you write. Spıke Ѧ 03:00 19-Jul-14

edit User:Alexschmidt711/National Mall

PS--When I think of "shopping" at the National Mall, I think of "buying" favors, exemptions from the tax code, waivers from Obama-care, etc. Your article might pursue this "commerce." Spıke Ѧ 16:29 19-Jul-14

Feel free to add that to there if you can find a good place. I added fake descriptions of the stores in the Mall. Alexschmidt711 (talk) 16:33, July 19, 2014 (UTC)

But it's starting to read like a sales brochure and not an "encyclopedia article." Spıke Ѧ 01:47 20-Jan-15

Exactly my purpose. It's supposed to sound like a brochure. That's the joke. Alexschmidt711 (talk) 04:55, January 22, 2015 (UTC)

You are not telling a joke but breaking the cover joke, which is that we are an encyclopedia. Spıke Ѧ 13:09 22-Jan-15

Yeah, I know that's a problem. Maybe the article could be turned into a picture of the actual brochure, or somehow a better home could be found for these nuggets of humor? Alexschmidt711 (talk) 15:25, January 24, 2015 (UTC)

It should be easy to use these same nuggets, just style it as a seemingly dry, third-party description — the way you began the piece. A separate problem is that the article is getting very listy. If it hits the main encyclopedia, you'll find that anonymous overnight editors will feel that adding one or two or twenty "stores" is within their capability and they will all be Toilet Humor. To kill two birds with one stone, consider reorganizing in major sections, each of which presents one style of humor (allegory about government waste, products no one needs, excessive self-promotion, and so on). The names of the stores could be in boldface without each being a section heading. Puns sometimes work better when they (like illustrations) simply supercharge the writing style of a section, rather than trying to build a section around a pun or a photo. Spıke Ѧ 15:58 24-Jan-15

edit User:Alexschmidt711/Titanic: The Legend Goes On

Welcome back! A better ultimate destination for your new project is not a new mainspace article about a film that does not exist, but instead a new section in Titanic (a film that does exist) entitled Sequel. I think you should write in the past tense as though the sequel was done and disastrous. On making "a millionth of the money," this sentence needs work, as the only humor is what HTBFANJS calls a nonsense number. On Wikipedia, every article about a film includes subsections on how it did with critics and how it did at the box office, and you can pattern yours after theirs. Gallows humor would seem to be the key here.

You need to make it good, and with lots of references to events in the original film, in addition to the two you give, is vital so that anonymous editors don't assume it is open season for them to write a bunch of sections on other sequels, which would reduce the article to "listcruft."

You should avoid phrases like "widely believed to be" and "is known for," as noted in Choice of Words. Good luck! Spıke Radiomicrophone14:16 24-May-16

Do you realize this is a real film? I'm pretending that it's the greatest film ever. Look up Titanic: The Legend Goes On on the real Wikipedia.--Alexschmidt711 (talk) 02:52, June 3, 2016 (UTC)

I did not! Ignore that aspect of my review. However, the reason for my review is that you attached {{Construction}} to it, which invites us to delete it after a week if you don't continue editing it, which you didn't. So I will move it to your userspace, where you can continue working on it at your leisure at User:Alexschmidt711/Titanic: The Legend Goes On. Spıke Radiomicrophone03:21 3-Jun-16

Personal tools