User talk:Aleister in Chains
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Thanks for the changes but I could do with another article being written as well (for the UnSignpost) as usually two different authors write the two main articles so if you wouldn't mind writing a quick article underneath I'd much appreciate it. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:10, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
Too late I've written another article myself, sorry. I just don't know how to send it to everyone who receives UnSognpost without spending ages adding it to everyone who subscribes to its talk page. Could you offer any help, please? Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 10:10, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
- No, but yes. Maybe the best thing to do is put it up as a forum in "Village Dump", and that way everyone will see it and be able to add comments as well. Thanks for doing that, and it will be nice to see. I think there was a bot that delivered it as well, but I'm not savvy on bots. Aleister 12:33 9-4-13
Done it. Hope you enjoy. SPIKE liked it (which as you probably know is an achievement) but give me any feedback you have on it. I mentioned you in the editorial. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:00, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
- I didn't send it. To me bots are those sticky seed things that get on my clothes and I have to pull them off with things like pliers. Aleister seconds ago
- Actually I did send it, and will send it again soon. Al
Ah but hang on I just thanked PuppyOnTheRadio. This is annoying now. For the official recoord I'll just thank: SPIKE (gave me advice on where to send it and how to send it), PuppyOnTheRadio (same) and Aleister (ditto). Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:39, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
- Seriously? Then he should ban himself (seriously. I've banned myself on several occasions, for being a dick a few times when nobody else banned me). Seriously? He must not have eaten his quinoa this morning (ummmmmmmm. have you ever tried quinoa? highly recommended). Red Aleiser seconds ago
- I am now past my quinoa phase. It added a nutty taste but was otherwise pointless. I'm now mixing oats with my curry. 13:08 6-May-13
Confused (as always)
Puppy said that he sent me one copy. But you said you sent it. Either you're lying, Puppy's lying or both of you sent it but anyhow if you did send it did you send it out to everyone who subscribed? Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:03, April 9, 2013 (UTC)
- That is a quandry. Mine, of course, was lying, and Puppy telling the truth. But I may be lying there, and telling the truth when I say that a mysterious third party actually delivered them. You must trust the universe that next time you write a newsletter, it will be delivered by someone, somewhere. Trust in the lord, thy God. (Or in the "Lord Almighty"!, thy Goddess) Aleister 17:11 9-or-10-4-'13
Yes but I might have been lying. Maybe Puppy didn't tell me he'd sent it. Perhaps it was another associate. You can't trust anyone here not even God (yes I know I'm a monk (or am I?)). If I can't trust God then he won't deliver it. Or perhaps I can trust God. Perhaps I was lying. Maybe this whole rant is a lie. Maybe I should just SHUT UP!!!!! Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 17:23, April 10, 2013 (UTC)
- I read on another talk page where you are apologizing for thanking everyone, that in real life nobody delivered the unsignposts but they mysteriously showed up. This is as it should be. I, or course, take responsibility. Like Monk, you can thank me later. Al 17:27 that day
Oh I see. I am enlightened with realisation. I think I have worked out what happened (if anyone still cares).
- I made the UnSignpost.
- I didn't know how to send it out to everyone so I asked you, SPIKE and Puppy.
- You and SPIKE told me you didn't know (SPIKE then told Romartus).
- Puppy also said he didn't know but taught me how to make the template appear on a page and then gave me ONE copy.
- I then presumed this had been sent out to everyone.
- I thanked SPIKE as he is a technical guy and must have got help from Romartus.
- Then I checked the history of my page and it said the only recent edit was you. So I presumed you wrote it. I apolagised to SPIKE who by that time told me he hadn't sent it and then thanked you.
- Then I re-read Puppy's comment and realised he sent it. So I apolagised to you and thanked him. You then told me you'd sent it so I thought I mis interpreted Puppy's message and apolagised to him.
- Then you told me you hadn't sent it.
- I sent a message to everyone saying that I was confused but thanked them all just in case they sent it.
- Then SPIKE told me only I had received it.
- Then I spent a whole half-hour of my life sending it out manually to every subscriber.
Hi, Al, just popped by to say that I've seen so many users pages (through handing out UnSignpost) that are dormant and inactive users. It seems that most people just stay for two years and then disappear. Are there still users on Uncyclopedia who've been here right from the start? Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:27, April 10, 2013 (UTC)
- Nope, we're all dead...
- Begone spirit! There, they do seem to spout ectoplasm at the most inconvenient moments. Many people stay around many years. Funnybony is here, and he's an old-timer, as are Puppy and others who you'd never suspect. They do also revisit. Some old timers are at the other site but are drowned out by the din of feature nominations. I myself have been on and off for almost four years. And this Mhaille who popped in, I've heard of him and seem to remember he's been here awhile. I like it that you asked, do you have a sense of history? Not everyone does. Al that year during its middle somewhere
- Right, and therein is a horrible story of faith in his own creation and then he sold it! Sold it to Jimbo Wales! Pocketed his money and ran off to some beach or cabana. Chronium or something his name was, our esteemed beach-blanket father. Then uncy got to wikia and did fine for many years.....until wikia went all 1950s and plastered a content warning on the site (thus ruining its premise as a satire of wikipedia) and started to freak-out over boobs. And all because Cronium or Cranium or whatever sold his idea to The Man. If I met him I'd shake his hand for creating uncy and then punch him and run away lollollol Aleister soon
I understand how you experienced Uncyclopedians feel that Wikia ruined a few things here and there but I stil think it is a fine parody/spoof of wikipedia (even without the breasts). Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:40, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
PS - Saw your comment on VFD thanks for backing me up. I actually found this article quite funny. I didn't feel the same about the two clones of it below though. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:47, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
- You are welcome, and I'd already used my comment on that nom on another page. As for uncy, it's a wonderful spoof of wikipedia - except when you hit on a page and come here you are faced with a boring content warning saying right off the bat that it is a "humor" site. We used to have people complain about how the pages weren't factual, and corporations would complain about how people believed the articles. With no warning notice we even had people leave factual articles here which could then be either removed or improved upon. There was and is no reason for the content warning page, imnho, and that is the backbone of the issue which split the community. Besides that, it's a great site with great people (many of my favorite uncy people, like Brother Puppy, Brother Funnybony, Brother Spike, and Brother Nobody (see UnSignpost) edit here). Yay Uncy! Al minutes later
I hadn't thought of the warning sign putting people off. We should campaign to get it removed. Do the other uncyclopedias that aren't owned by wikia still get complaint messages about people believing they're real? I ask you as I've heard (you've probably told me) that you're on another one as well. We need to get a new owner. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:01, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
- You're welcome. I like the pic too. And agreed - at one point wikia talked briefly about having a special category of "adult wikis" which may have been something which would have gotten the warning notice put down. I'm wondering if it started with Boone's Farm. Before some users found out that the Boone's Farm publicity people had been editing their article here because it was and is very high up on the search engine results, they made it into a puff advertising piece. Then some idiot found it, and he and another idiot wrote stupid things to get it to the state it's in now, and may have provoked the pr flacks at Boone's to complain. Or maybe it was that John Scherer thing, or Rolex. But some corporation complained and wikia went along with a warning label (at least as I understand it. I don't think the decision was ever explained, especially the moment-by-moment thinking which got us the lable so we could refute their points. I transfer my stories to the other site, and encourage its growth, but I do the same here and want to stay to try to "fix" this place. We still get 50,000 or 40,000 hits a week, so editing here with the low amount of editors roaming the halls, and with the great impact you've had on the site already, makes you a big fish in a big pond. Not bad. Al minutes later
Had a quick look on Illogicopedia (am I going to get shot or banned now?). It doesn't look as nice in terms of formating but I did see half of the people who say they subscribed to UnSignpost on it active on that site but not on this one. I should probably remind them that there is a UnSignpost waiting for them back at Uncyclopedia just to piss them off. Oh well I'm going to change that subscribers list in a months time and the editors list to list the active users who actually want the UnSignpost, which I fear is practically nobody. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 13:22, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
- illogicopedia? Close but no cigar. And you are banned now. Personally I've read the Unsignpost since getting here, but always on someone elses talk page. So many people got it I never missed a copy. Nah, no pissing off the other site please. We here have the rep of never vandalizing or even taunting them, as we are the adult wiki. I was an adult once. Then I shook myself out of it and ate popcorn. Al the in-edit link seems to be broken
I've put two more of my articles up for VFH as my Capitalism: in grammar is just sitting there with (4/0). How many votes do you need to get an article featured? Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:21, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
- Have you made the correct number of sacrifices to the Great Potatoey One? --
- No, that is not recommended. Rather, submit your sacrifices to talk pages of active users who have not voted yet and hope for the best. This is known as the time-honored tradition of VFH whoring. Usually, it was done on IRC in the past, but most active users here don't use IRC much. Etiquette is to mention that your article is on VFH and you would like a vote one way or the other, rather than trying to outright beg them to vote for (as was done on IRC in the past), also be careful of trying to do any VFH whoring on SPIKE's page, he doesn't take kindly to that. We do still have some users that went to the fork that occasionally check in here, you may be able to lure them over temporarily by VFH whoring on IRC. -- 22:13, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
Thanks. I think I know about VFH whoring on SPIKE's page (past experience). I've done it on many users pages. Also Aleister another thank you from your friend who thanks everyone for voting for all my articles on VFH and the BNP one I nominated. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:53, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
Thank you for voting and nominating me noob of the moment. I appreciate it a lot. Thank you also for vandalising my page I appreciate it a lot and hope that you have only added the noob of moment thing and haven't changed the rest of the page as I haven't been bothered to check that. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 10:37, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
By the way I've put a picture up on VFP from the BNP article as I liked it a lot and I'm thinking of putting this one up on VFP. Please check the BNP one out and advise me on whether this is good enough for VFP:
It comes from my article Schlieffen Plan, which I finished yesterday. I personally don't think the article's that great but I did like this picture I did for it. I'd be grateful for some feedback thanks. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 10:44, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
Sorry to trouble you Al but SPIKE and I are having a bit of a slight arguement over the VFH: BNP thing which you can see if you look at Spike's talk page and the comments on VFH. SPIKE is being very serious on here and I think the only reason we are arguing is that we have both misunderstood each other. If you don't mind could you read over the discussion and see if you can explain each others points to both of us as a neutral in the discussion. Don't feel obliged to do this it's just I think it may help as I'm not sure how SPIKE is taking this and I think he might think I'm trying to offend him and ban me when I'm not. Sorry to trouble you it's just that I'm a noob and I don't know how SPIKE thinks so I find it hard to put my point to him. I thought you might be more experienced as you know both SPIKE and I well. Please stay neutral or SPIKE will interpret this as a weakling calling for backup which I'm not trying to do. Thanks. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 14:47, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
Thanks for the verdict. To be honest I didn't care that SPIKE called me a whore or the whole BNP shananigans what I cared about was that SPIKE said I'd uploaded my whole portfolio on VFH when I'd only uploaded 3/24 (now 25) articles. He accused me of trying to be an award grabber and accussed me of writing only three articles. He didn't understand that I had selected my best to be voted on. He also thought I was trying to twist him to vote no when I was trying to make him give a proper explanation as to why he voted no. It makes you feel sick to argue with SPIKE when he doesn't believe you're being polite and honest but never mind we're back to being acquantinces now. You didn't tell me whether the picture was the sort of thing they wanted on VFP though, you only told me you were fascinated the Nazis invaded Greece which I'm glad to hear. Thanks. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 19:57, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
- You're very welcome, and thanks. The nazi pic doesn't seem VFP material to me, it's an old pic with an interesting phrase superimposed. I don't photoshop, so what's funny to me is just from the experience of seeing feature pics here (which are a bother because they can't be categorized once they've become a feature), and then they are recycled over and over again for the main page. My teacher said, and I don't always remember this, that when someone says you did something, take responsibility. So if you are accused of being an award grabber, grab some awards! As I said once, Spike was happy getting 14 or so of the same award every month, and he earned it, but his point was to be happy with polishing and working on stuff. It took me almost four months to get my first feature here. Two months for my first "award" (noob of the month). It's fun to get some, but it was more fun playing on talk pages. One of my biggest thrills here was when a user told me, before I had a feature, that I'd probably win writer of the month at some point, and that was really a compliment and felt better than when, or if, I actually won the award. ---- As for Spike not explaining, he certainly doesn't have to explain a no vote. Although nowadays one 'no' vote can sink a nomination, and all of us should be aware of that and vote "no" when you want the page to fail and not only that you 'think' the page should fail. ---- Have you seen Oliver Stone's newer series on Showtime 'The Untold History of the United States'? It's really good. Reason I'm bringing it up is that in one episode he gives the reasons why Greece was screwed even after the nazis left, because Britain still wanted it in its sphere of influence and Stalin was going along with that. This gets long, more soon. Al 10:13 13-13-13
Thanks for the advice Al. I had been taught at school that the Greek Civil War helped bring on the Truman Doctrine and the Marshall Plan and was a very early Capitalist victory in the Cold War. Being a British Monarchists I think the right side won the war. (Right - get it. No I don't either). Anyway I thought that the picture might not be the sort of thing they wanted so consulted you. I won't put it up then. Thanks. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:30, April 14, 2013 (UTC)
I see you've just logged on....
- When I saw you had logged on I hurried to log off, but now that you're logging off I'm logged back on. If you log on again, let me know, and I will log off. Al seconds later
- /comes up through a hole cut in the bottom of the page. looks around. grabs something from a shelf. ducks head back in./ Al 1:32 19-4-'13
Hi Aleister, I've made this UnNews article but sort of ran out of humour ideas so I'm not sure it is that funny. If you can spare a minute, could you please have a look at it and edit it to make it funnier if you want to, suggest improvements to be made or tell me that it is so bad that the article is a dud? Thanks. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:23, April 20, 2013 (UTC)
- Money. Lots of it (small bills please). That'll do it. Aleister and women. Lots of them. Small bills please.
- No need to thank me, you are a good writer who keeps improving, someone who's getting the UnStyle here and learning from advice (SPIKE is a very good teacher). And, in my estimation, most if not almost-all of the pages you put up are or will be feature-worthy, and the ones which don't make it in the first try can be polished for months. You're welcome too. First features are really fun. Al 22:42 27-4-'13
Thank you however there were the first three pages I made on my first day here (BP oil spill, Panzer divisions of WW2 and Other War of 1812) when I hadn't really read the how to be funny and thought that random humour was appropriate. Maybe I can touch them up to make them better. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 06:00, April 28, 2013 (UTC)
- I don't mean we actually have a style, but I think all of us learn by reading other pages and sensing more or what is kicked around in the dust here - like lists and Oscar Wilde quotes and random, which all fall by the side of the road after awhile. Nothing wrong with going back on older pages and improving them. Even if it's just a word, or a link, or removing a little. I'm surprised it's your first feature, I thought you had a few. We really have to have a discussion about featuring here, some of the main people working on the site seldom vote on the feature page. Last time I voted on it was 2011. Aleister lots of money would have been better
Well Spike is quite busy and runs UnNews and stuff but does his best to vote. I've noticed no one has gone on Noob of the month since I voted. Maybe once the split (fork) is a long time away in the past we'll have the noobs of today as experienced users and it will all be back to normal. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 12:23, April 28, 2013 (UTC)
- No, I ran UnNews in 2011; all I "run" now is VFD.
- There is not so much a fashion, that comes and goes, to writing an article but learning more about what we consider funny, what the general reader would consider funny, and (in the case of lists and Wildeisms and Randumbo) what is a magnet for Anons who are not funny at all. But by all means keep applying your current understanding of humor to articles you wrote when you didn't have it!
- "Humour"... --
- Hush! we mostly have him writing like an American (except for the format of dates). 14:38 29-Apr-13
I am in no way writing like an American. I walk (not hike) down a pavement (not a sidewalk), I colour (not color) and do labour (not labor) at the harbour (not harbor) to protect my honour (not honor). i travel by aeroplane (not airplane). I am civilised (not Americanized), I was burgled (not burglerized) and I call my dictatorial leader a Monarch (not president). Thank you, SIR! Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:01, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
- Sigh! a "return to normalcy." 16:52 29-Apr-13
- I recognize it well; and was contributing, with a notorious malapropism from U.S. President Harding (Brits retain the word "normality"). 17:56 29-Apr-13
Yes one realised one's foul language when one saw it. Oh, why did God (yes I know I'm an athiest but that's basically Church of England where I come from) invent such a language. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 18:00, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
I would like to deeply apolagise to you Aleister for us messing your talk page up with the above discussion and realise that I am probably making worse by writing even more. I presume you are American (not sure though) because of your spelling of words and want to make it quite clear that I respect Americans and they are nice people and that anything I have said on your talk page or others about Americans is just jokey banter. Anyway thanks for letting us continue a discussion on your page which did not involve you and bye. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 20:14, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
- No problem, and no need to appleolozize (that's how we spell it here in the Falklands) Al "We shall be free" the next day
I'm not sure I'm going to fall for the old Falkland Islander trick because it happily fits in with a US time zone and you are wrong (you probably deliberately are winding me up actually) if you think that Falkland Islanders speak and spell in an American accent/American-English. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 15:59, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
- Aleister once confided in me that he lives in the neighborhood of the South Pole. Thus by simply going out for a stroll he can be in any time zone he likes. So there is no chance that he is "winding you up." 16:10 30-Apr-13
I am afraid I can't trust you there. I will not decide whether he is from the Falklands or from
Argentina the USA I will simply say he could plausibly be from either however strong evidence leads me to lean more in favour of him being from the US. Perhaps he meant to say North Pole and that he lives in Alaska and so being relatively near the North Pole and therefore can switch time zones and even days relatively easily. Sir ScottPat UnS CUN VFH (talk) 16:25, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
- Technically he could be an American living at the Amundsen–Scott South Polar Research Station... --
- Just me and the penquins on those cold winter nights. I call my favorite "LuLu", and treat her accordingly. Aleister 11:34 3-5-'13
Howdie there! (As they say in the British Antarctic Base on the South Pole)
- Sure, why not. That's a good idea. I'll put up a quick forum now, write a little on the subject, and then go chow down some fine lentils and rice. Al seventeen minutes later, as I came to check uncy once more.
- OK, the only thing I added from the forum discussion was a specific picture. Change that if you wish. thanks. Al, minutes later, now for the dish!
I think we need to add to the writing. Give a subtle explanation like: Some of this encyclopedia's content is unsuitable for children. Sir ScottPat (talk) VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:38, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
- Did some edits per your idea, and linked the picture. What do you think? And can you imagine the "Enter" button laying across the lawn on its left!!!! That would look fantastic. Al 17:15 that day
Great. We are a serious website that has to include (unfortunately) some unsuitable things but only because we strive to be an encyclopedia of everything. That's the message we are going to be putting across now. Sir ScottPat (talk) VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 17:30, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
- Unsuitable? My dear colleague, what do you mean? And I will change the intro to the vote to reflect that we've collabed on this. Yay! (I actually think this might work). Al minutes later