User talk:Aleister in Chains

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 18:26, March 18, 2013 by Aleister in Chains (talk | contribs)

Jump to: navigation, search
Walk into a bar collab
Charles Dickens 3
Thanks for visiting, please sign in:

<insert name here>

Perpetuum mobile
Now, Blast off!

I'm so glad you could stop by.

Aleister &amp; Mimo


While doing research for an article in progress, it appears that wikipedia considers the paleolithic "Venus figures" to be erotic imagery. Please see wikipedia's page on the history of erotic art --Mn-z 16:19, January 7, 2013 (UTC)

They were probably erotic to the cave men, who got turned on by them and hunted women and/or prehisoric giant sheep. I'll look at the page later, it sounds interesting. I do remember hearing that the majority of cave art is erotic, the general public just isn't shown those when cave art is discussed or presented. I've never followed up to see if this were true, although in the cave I live in it's certainly the case. Thanks. It's really good to see you around, I was mostly gone for five months in 2011 and seven months in 2012, just my way I guess. Al minutes later
p.s. Looks like a good page. They talk of 7,200 years ago as very ancient - I have an American Indian hammer a few feet away from me right now that's 8,000+ years old, and have lots of stone points and artifacts from that era. I really want to get a neanderthal point or tool, and should get on that at some point in the next few months. Nice find.
Are you planning on staying here, or moving to the new wiki? --Mn-z 16:40, January 7, 2013 (UTC)
I'm doing both. This wiki is where the public will be coming for a long time, although every day more and more of the many "hard-core" uncyclopedia fans will learn about the new one, and hopefully it will start to show up in search engines. But I think most people want to keep both wiki's in good shape for the time being, although that may be harder unless we all get ban sticks and bop IPs and red-link users on the noggins. Did you look at the new site yet, they are doing a very good job of coding and other things I know nothing about, and it more or less looks like this one so much I have to check the url to see which one I'm on. Al

Women with horns

Video was about dealing with dangerous animals (horned variety) coming at you. Point I was making is that if women are given horns, then they will soon figure out what the things are for, and use them. Most likely on any offending male's backside in the vicinity. Danger signs are lowering of the head, snorting, and repeated scraping of foot on ground. If you see this kind of activity.. RUN!!! Preferably head for a tree as they mostly aren't too good at climbing.

I would like your opinion on something

I recently wrote UnNews:Medical Cause of Unpregnancy Fetishism Discovered and would like your opinion of it. I don't think a full-on pee review would be appropriate since it is a one-trick pony. I really can't tell if the article is funny, or something that only Meganew, Socky, Hype, and myself would find funny. --Mn-z 18:12, January 10, 2013 (UTC)

It's very good, in that it covers the subject angle quite well. You may want to make up fake names for the doctor and psychiatrist, I notice you like to attribute quotes to anoms. The best thing about the page, of course, is the first picture. It had me all worked up, and then the second picture took me in the other direction. I don't know how you can like that stuff. Perv. You've been writing like two houses on stilts lately, nice work. Al 19:23 (a very good year)

Oww ya gahrn

Howdy Ma'am.

Been a while since I molested this site outside of my own contribution dungeon. Which means I forgot who to taddle on when someone is being a limp-wristed-tail-gunning-Beiber-Wanking-Fuck-Tard ... whomever it is, can you report User:Mike the Great for changing a million articles to his obsession about loving dick.--ManiacJaSg-Maniac1075Complain Here 02:34, January 12, 2013 (UTC)

Your opinion

Do you think this inside-joke based article should be in mainspace? --Mn-z 15:10, January 12, 2013 (UTC)

Yes. ~ BB ~ (T) Icons-flag-usSat, Jan 12 '13 16:19 (UTC)
makes no sense to me at all, so theres an opinion from someone who isn't in on it. Does have potential to become a funny enough article if you spin enough shit about who wasn't fucked by whom in a more explained manor.--ManiacJaSg-Maniac1075Complain Here 08:58, January 14, 2013 (UTC)
You crawled naked and dripping from your cave twice now, and it's lucky you weren't shot by the locals. Yes, look at the page and check out the categories, then go to the category which seems most like the article. There you will find a category. The in-joke is that Hyperbole once used that line as a throw-away line in a forum, and I made a category out of it, and msnbc, who asked the queston above and wrote the new article, tried in vain to get rid of that category, not once but several times, and each time I improved it on purpose to get his goat, which I finally got and made use of, and now he's written that page which (takes a breath. goes on) is an in-joke on another whole series of in-jokes, the sojourn series, which you will find if you look for another category on that same page, concerning sojourns, so it contains not one but two in-jokes which is like an Olympian running the hurdles and then, changing in the cab, swimming the 100 meters an hour later and doing a damn fine job of it too. If you got out more you'd know that, although it is good to see you and there are things in your hair which you may not even feel move around. Aleister 10:16 14-1-'13

Content warning

User:PuppyOnTheRadio/new content. Do your worst! (Although I haven't found a way to do the "rub his chest to enter" trick yet.)                               Puppy's talk page03:18 17 Jan

Patrol flag

Regarding your Change Summary: You do remember wrong. We were both on patrol just now and you and your faster interface were eating my lunch. Please reread User talk:SPIKE#Mutaween with new stuff (numbered list) by Puppy. Undo never patrols a change. Spıke Ѧ 20:14 18-Jan-13

I know, it's rollback. Thanks for the reminder, I was learning on the job. I just referenced the Unicorn section in Tantra over on ATS, so I better go polish it (hahaahhahaha polish the unicorn horn). Al 10:32

Advice to I.P. Anon

I can see that you were trying to help Anon today. However, my philosophy is that that is more than they are entitled to. Someone who has registered with a user name, I try to help along. An Anon who shows promise, I post on his talk page asking him to register. An Anon who does not show promise is entitled at most to an informative Change Summary with his revert. Striking up a conversation on Anon's talk page is like befriending a stranger by calling a pay phone. Just my opinion. Spıke Ѧ 03:57 21-Jan-13

If seemed he was working on the page, just going about it wrong. So I gave him one word of advice, but he may have done what he wanted to and left. He packed his bags without having any bags. Al seven hours later

Stubby Pages

Hmm..what's with the one line article Al? --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:27, January 21, 2013 (UTC)

Like a forum, but with less work than a forum. A coyote cry to find more of the pack. Please delete it as fast as you can. Al two hours later

i lolled

i give you permission to self-feature that thing about the brown rice --Littleboyonly TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK Oldmanonly 13:24, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks. And I'll take the feature offer as valid, so thanks again. Eat brown rice (EBR). Aleister 19:58 23-1-'13

Article Attribution

This article on Free Uncyclopedia appears to have inadequate attribution. {{spork}} would be an appropriate means of giving proper attribution to this, or any, article. I refuse to register on Free Uncyclopedia, so I can't change it. --Mn-z 14:19, January 23, 2013 (UTC)

OK, I'll see what I can do, I moved it over there and will be sure it has the proper author's name on! hahahahahahahahahahaha Aleister 19:57 23-1-'13 I'll get to it later, thanks for the two heads up.
I checked the Creative commons, and it looks that style of documentation (aka edit summaries or talk page comments) is probably adequate for meeting the attribution requirements of the license. --Mn-z 20:35, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
I didn't know any other way to do it, is there? That's the only page outside of my own which I've moved there, only because it was sooooooo good. It's got a red link, though, where your other Joe Biden page was linked. Al
The template {{spork}} would work, but might not not be popular with with Free Uncyclopedia on sporks from here. On a related note, the article that you moved was deleted by Lyrithya on here about in August/September of 2011 because she didn't think it was funny. --Mn-z 13:17, January 25, 2013 (UTC)
SHe didn't get the joke. Nah, the template would ruin the page. If ever I get mistaken for the author of the page and get a check for many thousands of whatever money your country uses, I'll send you maybe 1%, showing good faith. Al minutes later


To think that, a week ago, I proposed that we toy with the Fork's styling itself as "Free Uncyclopedia" and re-skin Sophia with a swastika. That is now a given, isn't it? Spıke Ѧ 01:24 24-Jan-13

the ultimate satire. He should fucking beg all the jew administrators to teach him how to be an admin, to tutor him like a child. He could grow into this or will be joining Eva Braun in the uncy-afterlife. We have to remember, being a nazi (lol) doesn't mean he's breaking any law or hurting anyone physically. Freedom of thought and freedom of speech should play into this, true rights that freedom people fought for. We must treat this nazi with all the respect and all the backslapping pranks that an admin deserves, and he will always be looking over his shoulder at Chief sitting there, riding him like a donkey, ready to administer Raging Jew Justice (no, I don't know if chief is Jewish, but Mordillo is. Maybe this will get Mordillo back as a teacher). this should be fun. Aleister 1:36

Do we even have an article on Raging Jew Justice? Spıke Ѧ 01:52 24-Jan-13 Guess not.

Hmmmmm. We've done good collabs before. Interested? We don't have to do a quick page, take our time with it. We could just play on each others edits and not even have a plan. Life is good on nights like this. Remember Night of Broken Glass, Hyperbole's favorite page here and in my top two or three. We tried to get it featured at least once, and then built pages onto it and put a category around it. Good times. Aleister 3:09 24-1-'13

It sounded good, but a day of reverting the Template Spammer and sending first kisses to newbies has left me without creative juices; also, don't know what your excuse is, but I'm about to quit for the day. "Play on each other's edits and not even have a plan" sounds a lot like, "Give each other Edit Conflicts, not to mention creative conflicts pursuing separate visions we haven't even discussed." But we'll do another collab some day soon. With a plan. Spıke Ѧ 03:17 24-Jan-13

Lake Zurich, Illinois

Thank you for reverting Jobeykobra on this. But the clean-up isn't complete; moreover, Google "Wayne Kuklinski" "Lake Zurich". This guy is a football coach charged with porn and perhaps child molestation. Haven't read the verdicts and it's not cyberbullying because he is/was in the public eye (or other organs), but tell me if they're really doing anything funny with the reference. Cheers. Spıke Ѧ 23:42 26-Jan-13 Thanks again. Spıke Ѧ 00:24 27-Jan-13

No, thank you. I actually am Wayne Kuklinski, and damn, I never knew this was here. I should have caught this long ago. So thanks. Wayne K. 00:35 27-1-'13
Your sense of humor was the clue that you had a Jones for young boys in Phys Ed shorts. Spıke Ѧ 00:38 27-Jan-13
But I only served six days (a good lawyer in the family). A serious question, will the google machine scan this talk page and come back with the name here? I don't know how that works. There's an entire forum at Above Top Secret which isn't scanned, and I don't know how they do that either. All I know is gym class. Wayne K., or as the boys call me, Wayney, or MrK9000 minutes later
The newspaper I post to (you recall the "stupid dick" I quoted earlier) assembles reader responses with JavaScript and they are not part of the web page that Google would retrieve. As you can cut-and-paste reader text, there is obviously a way. Google would only serve up the dirt on you if you stood for office, or if the price were right. Spıke Ѧ 01:22 27-Jan-13

On patrol

I'm trying to pare down the unpatrolled entries:

  • At Freezing Moon, an article about a song, Anon makes up complete lyrics for the song. I don't know the song so I don't know if they're funny. Also don't know why this doesn't belong in UnLyrics. Wikipedia would never have actual song lyrics because of plagiarism concerns.
  • At Serbia, A Nonny Moose has replaced one illustration with another, and I am running with images off, just because I am a cheap bastard. Would you please evaluate the change (of 23-Jan)? Separately, the other column of this Infobox is an API to Google Maps. This is clever but surely an effort to inform people about The Old Country (voiced in a Slavic accent!) rather than amuse. Spıke Ѧ 01:00 27-Jan-13
The image is better but was way too big, so I downsized it. I'm a fan of informing people through our pages, probably wouldn't be here if I couldn't do that. Hmmmm, now I'll look at the song page. And will sing the lyrics to see if they ryme, unlike most lyrics. Just reminded myself about something else I wanted to do here, I'm off.......'''Wayne K., or as the kids call me, "MrK!!!"'''

When you Cum back....I don't agree. Links out to Google, no matter how "informative," are like links to YouTube. I was told we are here for production of original comedy, not as a catalog of other stuff available on the Web. Someone who includes a Google map of Serbia wants you to get to know his homeland, not laugh. But a second opinion is why I asked. Happy...whatever. Spıke Ѧ 01:20 27-Jan-13

Oh, it's a google map or something, I've never looked at those. Let's get rid of that one. I meant full-on historical lessons that can't be gotten anywhere else (Claudette Colvin and stuff like that). I changed the lyrics to be funnier and less a copy of the song. hahahahahahahaha Aleister minutes later
On the google crawler - there's an option that we can add to a page to make it non-searchable via google, but I can't recall what it is off the top of my head. I've only had need to use it once or twice. (Keeping history intact while protecting someone's identity.) I'd be more inclined to focus any SEO efforts on phrases like “comedy” and “satire”.                               Puppy's talk page01:36 27 Jan

On that new thing: What it does is publish your preferences when you request a web page--not make anything impossible. Doesn't that give you a nice warm feeling? Spıke Ѧ 01:40 27-Jan-13

I don't know what you mean by that. But ah, that must be what ATS does on its one forum, a forum "Really Above Top Secret" whose topics nobody is supposed to mention anywhere else on the site. Thanks for the info. Must go now, I came here to add Taylor Swift to the DAP template and you corralled me into actually doing work. Al 1:42 27-1-'13
Have you ever tried googling RATS? (Not as the acronym, mind you.)                               Puppy's talk page01:47 27 Jan
? On both google and bing all I get is rats (wikipedia) and pictures of rats. SWhat are you drinking? '''Red Al'''                               Puppy's talk page01:57 27 Jan
Ben, the two of us need look no more.                               Puppy's talk page01:59 27 Jan
And that's old news, it's not even private anymore, you just have to have 20 posts and you can look at it. There's actually one scary thread, end of the world kind of thing, and I've researched the guy who wrote it from his edits there and happily he seems like a jerk making up stuff. I kind of outed him on the thread and he came back with another (hopefully) made up story. I won't tell you which one it is here, too disturbing for young ears, like the guy who posted under this one thinking I like Alice in Chains (I do like her in chains, but not the band). Rats, Red Al

Alice in Chains...

I'm assuming you like them? --TheKoromoAmae (talk) 01:58, January 27, 2013 (UTC)

Not really, it was just a play on words when I came to the site, never knowing I'd be writing here and actually stick around. I can't even remember now how I found this place, or why I decided to stay. I started writing "Phil Ochs" an old-time folk/anti-war singer I like, and found writing here was fun and unprofitable, so I must have liked it. Can't recall now, too much crack cocaine and H in-between (a true story, I actually had a college roomate who I knew for two years in college, and we got an apartment together for half a semester. He came to my house about a year after graduating, and said he hardly remembered me because he had gone up in the mountains and done LSD for a year. I'm anti-LSD by the way, it stays in the body much too long, not a good one. I ramble) Aleister 2:12 27-1-'13 (and who are you? if new, welcome. if not new, who are you?)


i just don't fell like doing this anymore.can you delete my account please confirm by my email The preceding unsigned comment was added by drfg (talk • contribs)

None of us fell like doing this anymore, except for Puppy, who is not even a year old yet and chases anything that moves. I can't delete your account, but it will just sit there with nobody touching it, unless someone like me finds it and adds stuff to it, like a one edit user who took one of the greatest names in sports and wasted it. Tell you what, I will say I deleted your account, you believe me, and never look at it again. That way, in twenty years you can come use it again, and write magnificent real life stuff about that trip into space you took with your friend, the women who broke your heart so you cut out theirs, and the dog you used to own but who then chased one too many horses into the pasture. Good to know you, and we will drink a toast to you when you are gone. Aleister 11:05 28-1-'13


Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 19:31, Jan 28

hahahaha Thanks. I'll leave it here for a few hours, then move it to my stuff. What happens when I'm dethroned, do you have an ex-heavyweight belt, or do I get to keep this one? It's so confusing. Aleister 20:47 28-1-'13
Uncl champion belt - unlike diamonds - is forever.--Funnybony Icons-flag-th Agnideva-small.jpg AGT-logo-small.jpg 06:42, Jan 29


Very good, especially for a Brit. I have always viewed "amongst" as an affected version of "among"--worse than "envisage" for the American "envision." Also "whilst." Spıke Ѧ 10:37 30-Jan-13

Brit? Zana and "I" abhor crumpets. Where does the "enter" button go, will that be in the midst of the template or under it, and are you using your "big button" (I forgot the name of the page) which would be very danish. Aleister 11:30
p.s. Whoops, my brain thought you were Puppy. Thanks for the kind words. Do you have graters in your country? The language doubles back on itself in America, so "right" means "right" which are total opposites of each other. Al 11:40
I think he's Puppy at times as well. And the buttons will be below the text. I didn't play with them at all.                               Puppy's talk page12:02 30 Jan
Just wondering if we should put the buttons above the text, or somewhere that people don't get lost in the genius of the text itself and forget to punch in. Didn't Chief say we lost a quarter of our readers when the warning template went up? This one is so good it will scare away everyone, including us. I sure as hell am not going in there. Al 12:06
I have no idea what impact the warning had on visitors. I can promise that the kittens would make me turn away instantly though - more than the warning itself.                               Puppy's talk page12:18 30 Jan
You are a heartless man. Yes, there was a forum where Chief was given a pass by the overlords at wikia to peek at the traffic numbers, and that seems to be how the impact was reported, although traffic has picked up again. But you're probably right, the type of mind that likes uncyclopedia will probably be more entertained by the new template than by those cute kittens. The lightning alone will be talked about and more people may come by to take a look. Soon we'll have to sell tickets. Al 12:36
Selling tickets, yes! And merchandise! We need more commercialism!                               Puppy's talk page12:45 30 Jan

Forum:A suggestion

Yikes! Thank you for adding imagery of armed conflict. There's no chance that will feed an atmosphere of drama. Regarding junking the Content Warning, I have never asked for any such measure as a personal reward. (That was you, remember?) A mere doubling of my pay would do the trick. Spıke Ѧ 14:29 6-Feb-13

Oh, sword and shield. But I said it was in defence, which is what your reply reminded me of, very well written. The content warning is a major non-wikipedian-satire point of conflict which I do hold, in my own defence of the site. It would be nice if everyone unified about that request. If for no other reason is that it goes against our imitation of wikipedia, the original premise of the entire idea. Aleister minutes later

Hey what's all this about a new site- etc.

Hey Aleister- Like Michael Jordan I'm working on my third comeback- and then I get an email from some Bizzebeever character about how I'm not on the real site- what up with that??--Spqr Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 23:28, February 6, 2013 (UTC)

Take it from someone who remembers what you were like on the original Dream Team, tongue hanging out as you flew through the air, scribbling like mad, cranking out cerebral articles - you are on the proper site. But maybe it's best not to take the word of a drive-by comment like this. Anyway, back to the sock modeling. --Imrealized ...hmm? 01:12, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
Hey thanks Imrealized- I remember a lot of your gloriousness as well. Does anyone want to fill me in on what's been going on or should I continue to guess and troll the village dump while deleting emails from strangers about this 'other site'....?--Spqr Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 01:38, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
(edit conflict and the last message got erased, please repost, thanks)I wish there was a two paragraph history. In short, wikia censored us, put up a content warning, some admins set up a fork site without telling anyone else, they put it up and announced "This is uncyclopedia now, yay!", some people left and some stayed and some, like me, go between the two sites but am mainly on Above Top Secret. Lots of heavy hitters only write-admin on one or the other. This site has the most hits per day (over 50,000), the fork has more users and more people running around naked. This site does not try to hurt the other one, the other one tries to hurt this one sometimes, and tried to admin a nazi they had banned there which created bad blood but was pretty funny. Different year end winners, Funnybony is writer of the year here and Romartus is uncyclopedian of the year, at the fork TKF is Writeroty and Frosty and BB are uncys of the year. You are welcome and loved at both, and Marilyn Monroe will raise herself from the dead to chase you whereever you go. You did the Anais Nin page, I almost bought a traced handprint of hers, she was a trendsetter of the first order, and acted with Cameron in that one film. Aleister 3:22 7-2-'13
Thanks for the info Aleister- the whole thing sounds like a bit of a cluster- why not fight back here and keep everything on one site- two sites- seems convuluted to me- I see all my articles are on the other site too- that's not confusing AT ALL.........--Spqr Sir Claudius CUN VFH (carpe diem) 17:42, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
Yeah, they were able to mirror everything up until January 5 (maybe the 4th or 3rd). The people who edit here aren't into fighting with the fork, and only a very few people there really dislike this place. It would be great to see you write new pages as well as put a polish on some of your older ones (Funnybony and I polish for years!). You can write here and also copy your page to the fork if you'd like. It's not as noisy here, at least im my feeling of the two sites. All in all it doesn't make that much of a difference where you write, as long as you write! I look forward to seeing your new stuff because we all grow with the years and you will have a new perspective and talent to bring forward. Yowzer! Al 20:00 same day
They missed a few pages the first time around, so there were a bunch of extra ones moved over in late January as well. And while there is no policy to say they may continue to update cross site, there's no policy to say that they won't. There have been one or two pages written since that have been copied over that aren't from the admins (ie copy pasted), but they are few.                               Puppy's talk page09:43 07 Feb

Aleister, what the fuck happened to our collab on the new site?

Did you forget about it while you were editing here? Seems this is the only reasonable place to contact you.--Sir Peasewhizz de New York (Chat) (Stalk?) 00:39, February 7, 2013 (UTC)

I thought you were done with it, I can't keep up with your speed on those things. I did get Socky to release his stuff to you, and added a bit to the page. I would have thought you put it on VFH already. Will look at it tomorrow, I'm writing a lot on ATS and if you notice I really haven't written much here the last few days. Say hi to Claudius Prime above, he's done some really good pages. Al 3:28 7-2-'13

Don't feed the troll

Not even doughnuts and coffee. Spıke Ѧ 11:36 7-Feb-13

TKF was a little bit of a dick there towards Mn-x, but he still is a crat here and it was a funny line. Maybe we all should have a pregnancy writing contest, with variations on the theme. I still like my umbilical cord idea. Umbilical cords are a topic not even mentioned in polite society. Alright, I'm going to have to write a page or an unnews or something. Thanks for the inspiration. Al 11:43
  • Symbol for vote For. pregnancy writing contests, because pregnant bellies are apparently more offensive than nipples, penises, and the occasional poop-filled condom. --Mn-z 15:56, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
  • Symbol against vote Against. These all feature photographs of what, in context, must be viewed as a naked sex organ. We need a Policy. Spıke Ѧ 16:11 7-Feb-13
I can't tell if Spike is being satiric. If bellies are a sex organ (unless you're into that), then so are feet, hands, hair, foreheads, the neck (ummmmm, necks), and last but not least, the elbows. Aleister 20:03 same day
You really can't tell? Even with the capital P. My bad. Spıke Ѧ 20:10 7-Feb-13
Well, I have a mental construction of you as pretty harsh and grumpy. So these kind of things go over my head, almost (if I was betting I would have bet you were playing, so I guess I did tell). Msnbc would jump anything round, so we should all pitch it to get him a big balloon with the tie-end all naked for him to nuzzle and gudnumple with. I call sloppy seconds! Al minutes later
In other words, you knew damn well it was a joke, but you wanted to go on a harsh-and-grumpy riff. To which I--no, never mind. Spıke Ѧ 20:18 7-Feb-13
No, I wasn't sure. My bet would have gone for joke, but it wasn't at 100 percent. And not really that harsh or that grumpy, but a good grumpy. If I were the head of a major corporation (and I may well be) I'd hire you as a V.P. in charge of something, so just the right amount of everything to do things here well. And I just reminded myself, I must have missed an episode of a program I like (mental wanderings). My V.P.'s are calling me into a meeting, but I'll keep them waiting a few minutes. /taps corporate pencil on the desktop. tap. tap. tap./ Al minutes later

UnNews:White House releases photo of Obama skeet-shooting

I undid your change to the finale, which dismounts not standing but stumbling. What Carney is calling ahead about is that Obama has begun to tell a new tall tale (the zinger with which a good UnNews ends) and so the White House should decide how to hang two heads of trophy "skeets" in the Oval Office. If the point of BigTitties was that Obama was shooting not skeets but dogs, I've tweaked the photo caption to go a tiny bit in that direction and play off the term "Gun Control" as done on bumper-stickers in Bitter Clinger land. I toyed with mentioning that the suspiciously low-flying "skeets" were "yelping" as he fired but couldn't make it fit. Spıke Ѧ 19:03 8-Feb-13

Yeah, I first put it up as a joke for you to play off the bigtittie edit, then realized that "Hey, this fits", in thinking that Obama was determined to get some skeets (he'd heard about them of course), thought the two animals playing on the golf course were skeets, shot them, and had their heads mounted and none of his "yes men" would correct him and went ahead and mounted the skeets, and Carney was calling because the story had leaked. I'm laughing now at that scenerios. Great page, and how many people are going to get the "hearing" the school shooting joke from the golf course, a good outside-inside joke. Nice work. Al out skeet shooting, and did you check out the Buddy Rich youtube thing I just loaded on my user page?

I don't do videos from home, as I have a slow and metered connection by USB suppository to a cell tower 2 miles away. And I am at home, with 3 inches down, 21 to go. By the way, it was Joe Biden who "heard" the massacre from Moccasin Run but, like Obama's autobiographical girlfriend, this UnNews is a "composite." Spıke Ѧ 19:14 8-Feb-13

I knew about Biden, which is why I was impressed at the twist. I heard those shootings too, from much closer. Damn, forgot about your pic and video thing. Shovels ready, and I hope you stocked up on your quinoa. Al minutesl

Now you've got numbers like all the rest

And those fetters have been removed. No chains for you. Now what are you gonna do? You'll be so much lighter. Think of the possibilities. I bet you could slam dunk a basketball, that's how free you'll fly. Or you could perhaps learn the mystic arts of photoshopping with your newfound freedom? Writer of the Year 2013-27, perhaps? You are literally grasping at the universe's scrote right now. Enjoy it.

Let me know when you need next year's award. --Imrealized ...hmm? 01:31, February 9, 2013 (UTC)


Thank you for voting for Fred Basset. --Equilateralperil 02:33, February 9, 2013 (UTC)

Article Forking

Due to my new theory of multiple websites, I now support (or rather, don't oppose) the copying of my articles to other websites, including the fork. --Mn-z 19:30, February 10, 2013 (UTC)

I agree totally. I don't see the harm in the fork, none whatsoever. As long as the two sites don't attack each other, and both stay active and non-vandalized, and if both promote themselves, boom, everybody wins. I don't know why more people there don't realize that and drop their stuff off here as well as come here to keep this site active, extremely-coded with high quality code, and vandal clean ups. And it's good to see you as active as you are! And look what happened with two sites, we have two very good writers of the year and uncys of the year, all of them who richly deserve it! Aleister 19:54 that day
I would recommend putting all good articles at both locations in case one or the other sites. If one the sites were to spontaneously disappear, the fork will probably go first. --Mn-z 20:41, February 10, 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for the nomination

But separately, may I not apologize privately to an Uncyclopedian without musical accompaniment??? Spıke Ѧ 13:31 13-Feb-13

I didn't nom you, nor would I ever. My little sister used my computer when I was busy cooking ham and legs. And of course not, this is a nonstop talk page party. Aleister 13:51 13-2-'13

Well, tell her she should get Uncyclopedian props for service above the call of duty, as when that large breach in the hull is patched and someone finally gives thought to restoring meal service. Noob of the Month would be another such return to normality. Unicornwhatever comes to mind, for moving beyond a single article and even taking a request from me for Reading, England with research and a Shoop. Also the guy writing the Howard Stern set. But I don't want to slight anyone else.

The next step might be an UnSignpost. I mentioned this to the Chief on 4-Feb, but he has the misfortune of having an actual job with actual hours. Spıke Ѧ 14:00 13-Feb-13

I dunno if a signpost is needed yet, but if you set up a page I'll write the second article or something. Noob sound good. My sister is begging me to let her use the computer again, said nomming you was just a joke, but I told her that a nom is a nom. She's crying now hahahahahaha. Unicorn hasn't seen my and Funnybony's unicorn section in Tantra yet, or he'd either honor his name even more or fun screaming from the room. Aleister FUCK YOU SPIKE THIS IS RUTH STUPID "ALEISTER"'s SISTER. HER REAL NAME IS ROBYN. SHE ALWAYSNIOENF Sorry Spike, you can't let them out of their cage these days.
One if the advantages with NotM becoming “of the moment” is that it allows for multiple noms and multiple votes, rather than being a one winner competition. That means that it goes to every deserving noob. (And I really must start voting for things again at some stage.)                               Puppy's talk page03:42 13 Feb
There's an interesting story about the guy who invented soap. Someone put it on VFH, maybe my sister. Yes, NotM should be more active, but also earned with more than just a one article drop in, even if it's well written and edited. I like that new discordian one, it's really a great tale. Robyn 19:20 13-2-'13

Glenn Beck (Asshat)

The time to further weave this article into the wiki (with a See Also from Glenn Beck) is if you prevail at VFD, not now. Spıke Ѧ 15:57 15-Feb-13

Pregnancy Committee on Axis of evil-doers

See UnNews:Axis of evil-doers to add pregnancy committee. Its funny because it is takes a unimportant (who is on a stupid template) subject very seriously. --Mn-z 11:21, February 16, 2013 (UTC)

I must read that, it's one I haven't. I look forward to reading the news report. Aye! Al 16:51 that day

Sorry for the friendly jab

...on the Reverend's talk page. If it was clear it was a friendly jab, it certainly wasn't to the newbie. Spıke Ѧ 14:17 16-Feb-13

I just looked at it after reading this, it was a nice comment (when turned on its head, which is what we do here, sometimes), and we do need quite a few more Aleisters. I forgot his name was Reverend, we always have to have one. Al later that day

In that case, what I should have done is just say nothing about it, unsay it there, and hope no one arrived from the Fork to permaban me for it. Spıke Ѧ 17:13 16-Feb-13

You're being too sensitive, and that's not like you. Are you sick? Did you find religion? Wake up on the right side of the bed? If those people criticizing force you to change in any way what we need to do is wall this place off like a fortress, with guards every ten feet on watchtowers (I'll dig a tunnel though, to go between sites) and shoot the arrows of satire right into their hearts of UnGold. Slap yourself in the face, put on a coat of leather (conservatives like leather, unless it's the good kind) and baby seal skin, and teach them what it means to violate Rule 2. Ha! Al looting and stealing

Mexican Canadian War of 1984

I was patrolling recent changes, and came across this. I'm terrible at random humour, and this doesn't make me smile, let alone laugh. You're much better at writing it and appreciate it more than I. So - what the fuck is this thing?                               Puppy's talk page10:49 17 Feb

My guess is that it is VFD fodder. --Mn-z 11:01, February 17, 2013 (UTC)
More importantly, where is Puppy's Warning Label??? We want lightning to greet our visitors, and we want in now (a cheer by hundreds goes up in the background). On that page, VFD sounds about right. This isn't random humour, just random. Writing it? I don't know if I do, but ones random is a crazy man's logic (goats do emit pizza! I've proved it by giving kodiak bears lie-detector tests, and if anyone knows what a goat emits, it's a kodiak bear - this wouldn't be random, because it's true!). VFD is painless, it goes through many changes. Al 12:54 that day

The Cuteyhearts

A new discordian American Princess band for your enjoyment.                               Puppy's talk page10:06 17 Feb 2013

Please go to User talk:Romartus#Second pair of eyes, please and tell me what to make of this, and of other contributions. Spıke Ѧ 22:17 17-Feb-13
You have a copy of The Shaggs!?! Definitely only one album - the father couldn't afford to rent a studio a second time. (Sadly, this is factual.)                               Puppy's talk page09:51 18 Feb 2013
I do. And the Wild Man Fisher album. And lots of The Roches, who I actually like and saw in concert once after hanging out with them after listening in the back alley to their practice session in the afternoon and they stopped me walking on the street and got my name to put me on their guest list that evening. The Roches are severely underrated, kind of like Garfunkel and Oates (are they still putting up vids? I haven't checked in over a year!) Al 19:00 18-2-'13

FA Great Library of Alexandria

Shall we split the HoS bling? I was project leader but you charted out what became Physical Plant by which the page reached article-length. Spıke Ѧ 12:09 18-Feb-13

I believe that, to pad my features total, you should remember that I cleared out the brush and put one picture on the page to represent the entire article. You then ruined that very fine featurable joke by actually writing words on the page. Taken aback by such crassness, I proceeded to write more words on request, and to change a few of your words. You then added to my words and changed a few of them. You, eternally picturedless, asked me to find a picture for a section, and I immediately, without any trouble or hesitation at all because I categorize, found the puuuurrrrrfect picture, which you hoisted to the top of the page. Then, seeing that you were tearing MrN a new one for making a joke about the Pier Ries or whatever map, linked the map to an informative article elsewhere and added the rest of that section too. Being a keen observer of human nature, I knew about wikipedia. Sensing that there might be something useful on the academic page of the Great Libary of Alexandria, I found that the libary, for some godforsaken reason and to goddesses eternal satirical nature, always held a zoo. Sensing that my library doesn't contain a zoo, I surmised and played a hunch that maybe most people's libraries were zooless. So the zoo section was added and topped off the article to perfection, even before adding in the stuff above following the MrN episode. Considering all of this and even more (the see also section, plopped in by me after realizing that people need to see also), I will pad my feature total by 1/2, and am proud to be doing so in conjunction with you, who I believe I've never had a feature with (you have a spiritual half feature with me for motivating me to work on Puddle of shit, by saying I shouldn't waste my time on such a page and wanted to let it die on VFD when, now, it's among the best feature pages that this or any forking website has to showcase). Aleister 18:47 18-2-'13

Wheeling Jesuit University/People

I just put this directory on VFD, with the pages underneath it on specific non-celebrity individuals. Now...Haven't we been here before? (Not just to St. Clairsville, Ohio?) Spıke Ѧ 01:51 20-Feb-13

Regarding your Symbol delete vote Delete vote on VFD, please create a gallery of the images you want saved; my normal tendency has been to delete photos orphaned by a page deletion. Spıke Ѧ 12:50 21-Feb-13

Has it really? I've always been against photo deletions, esp. if they are interesting. This comes from the feature we used to have and don't any longer (Can you get it back???) where you type in the start of a file name, and with the arrow button going down the list it showed tiny images of each pic. This was how I'd get most of my pics for pages. But having categorized many hundreds if not thousands of pictures I don't like seeing them just deleted for actually no reason (why not just keep them, as it hurts nothing and gains everything!!! Al minutes later

Blind leading the blind

First, I give you props for saying nice things about me when people seek to feed the line at the Fork that I am an ogre toward all newbies--a deliberate lie to build the case that management here is more capricious than management there.

Second, however, the "blind" quip is cute, but I wish you would stop implying that I am not equipped to do the job. I switch Images and JavaScript on when I need to see pages as the Unwashed do, and can even make the Sidebar and ads come back. However, the job you laid on me is to go through a large directory (for which a trip to the Public Library would indeed save two hours) in order to decide what you would like at some later date. Simsie did the deletion and we now have probably hundreds of orphaned and uncategorized photos that you will never encounter, of unremarkable people who by definition are not in the public eye--not that you couldn't upload better ones anyway--until the next Lyrithya initiates a new campaign of maid service. I lay it on you to spend an hour and make sense of the result. Spıke Ѧ 12:29 24-Feb-13

Oh, I thought you deleted pics without looking at them, like Lyrithya used to do. That was a horrible purge. As I said, pics used to be available by typing in something like [[File:Elepha

and getting the six results I just got but then I'd hit the "down" key and a little picture of the pic would pop up, and in this way you could scan the list of pictures instead of just having a name which is pretty much useless. So the concept of saving pictures is for that function which I hope comes back some day. Besides that, how does it hurt in the least to have pictures stockpiled like logs somewhere, because the server will hold millions of pictures without a care in the world. I'll correct the impression I had that you don't look at the pictures before deleting them, like Lyrtihya did. So I don't mind that you delete pictures of just random people standing around, or stupid graphics, just creative chops which often are mixed in with the blah. Al minutes later

Lyrithya deleted orphans and I had intended to as well. I guarantee you there are no Elephants in this batch. The pages were deleted precisely from non-notability and I assume the images are non-notable too. And, we will never find them--we will certainly not search for the names of those private citizens--unless you do something. Spıke Ѧ 12:46 24-Feb-13

Yes, but hundreds if not thousands of good orphans (see my note above about how we used to be able to see the pics while editing, can you get that feature back??? Where is it?? My cup runneth in the cup. No, I don't care about private citizens, but if one of them is carrying a crucifix or is balancing on his nose on a tightrope, sure. Going now, food is somewhere and I will cross it's path on my wanderings. Al minutes later


You are stepping into a revert war with InMooseWeTrust. Check out his, or the template's talk pages. He would want to keep the template's link to Christianity on the basis that there is Christianity in India; I have already deleted it on the basis that our Christianity says nothing about India and the reader doesn't care. He has stated that even an over-large template is useful; I think it's just over-large. Spıke Ѧ 13:03 25-Feb-13

Yes, it is huge. And Christianity is everywhere, it could go on every template. Sigh. Since I am a Hindu on Monday's, I will go talk to him in the language of the many gods and goddesses. Thanks for the note. Aleister 13:06 25-2-'13

Ah, you appeal to his respect for the monkey god. Appropriate. Spıke Ѧ 13:25 25-Feb-13

If the size is an issue, we could use the navhide/show, like {{Minor-jesii}}, or USP. It can be set up to be hidden as the default (by js), and opened (by js). That means if js is on, it's compact.                               Puppy's talk page01:56 25 Feb 2013

Yes, but the size is partly also the result of a legitimate disagreement between the authors, which should be settled rather than papered over by JavaScript technique. Spıke Ѧ 14:02 25-Feb-13

New content warning

Y'all's new content warning is in place. If you are still on the site, would you please test it and tell me how it looks? Because as we both know, things don't look the same here. Spıke Ѧ 03:09 28-Feb-13

It's up. Two negatives, the "entrance" button is below the screen on my computer, so people have to schroll down - this is because there is too much space at the top of the gif. And the button doesn't look as prominent as the other warning, so it actually has to be searched for, maybe should be made larger and up higher. And the lightning gif didn't kick in until maybe 10 seconds after I had the page up, so it's not an immediate eye catcher. Besides that it looks fine. Aleister 4:28 28-2-'13

I don't see anything in Puppy's CSS code that would be causing any of the above. I recommend you go to him with a screen shot (as BB always used to demand of me). Accept my token scolding for agreeing on such a wordy message despite my fine alternative. Puppy laid it on me to implement, but that was the night of the shouting match with Mr.N., and Romartus took it over, then decided he'd run it by the Chief, and.... Spıke Ѧ 04:37 28-Feb-13

Don't get me wrong, I like it better, just some things to work out. It'll be interesting when a few IP's and other users who haven't seen it comment. Puppy will be by soon, and he'll know what's going on, for he is a man of God. I must sign off now, to do things and some more things. /runs away/ Al later

Poi fritters

Poi fritters

Poi fritters.

Have you tried this? You slice it up and put it on a tray in a toaster oven. Spıke Ѧ 15:20 3-Mar-13

No, but thank you. I find your note very surrealistic. And we must get those clouds moving again on the warning notice! Aleister 2:02 the next day

So I hear

That you are fond of Jews. That, is a dangerous habit, sir. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:22, March 4, 2013 (UTC)

Some Jewish women are God's gift to mankind. Many of them give danger a good middle name. Aleister 1:50 5-2-'13
Danger Yentel Cohen? ~Jewriken.GIF 08:02, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
Why is it you mention Jewish women, and I suddenly feel guilty for no good reason.                               Puppy's talk page09:22 05 Mar 2013
You obviously met my mother. <squinting> Hold on, how is it you know my mother? </squinting> ~Jewriken.GIF 10:24, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
She likes it when I fiddle on her roof - if you know what I mean.                               Puppy's talk page12:02 05 Mar 2013
I'm not going to get into a discussion of Mordillo's mother. She wouldn't appreciate that & it's too easy of a joke. Aleister 12:42 5-3-'13
Btw, Al, she sends her regards. She says you still owe her that Barbara Streisand Live Concert DVD you promised her. ~Jewriken.GIF 13:11, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
You're here for, what, six hours, and you out my real identity. Yes, I am Jason Gould, Barbara's son. Now what? Do I leave and sign in under a new name? Your mom will get the live concert bootleg, we make them of all her concerts. Thanks a lot. Jason 20:27 5-3-'13 (did you know I was gone for seven months in 2012, and for maybe five in 2011, except for signing on once every two or three weeks to put in a couple of hours. No, you did not. You were playing with "family" and "career". Now, boom you come by, and everyone knows my real name. Jeez.
Well perhaps you should have thought about it before stalking my mom, Jason? ~Jewriken.GIF 09:13, March 6, 2013 (UTC)

MediaWiki talk:Gadget-HotCat.js‎

This was dropped in today by Ftiercel from Frikipedia, who claims it is an update for HotCat, which you use. Spıke Ѧ 01:46 8-Mar-13

?? The old one still works fine, and I look at your link and it's all greek code. And what the joe is Frikipedia, and why are they trespassing here cluttering up the place with greek? Aleister 13:52 8-3-'13
It's fine to add cats. I think it's when trying to remove cats or edit multiple cats it plays up. I noticed it a little while ago, but haven't bothered investigating it too closely.                               Puppy's talk page07:31 08 Mar 2013
Ah, you're right! Haven't been able to remove categories in a long time. And when I do multiples I have to log them in by hand as it just misses making the last step. But what do I do with that page of code? Do I copy/paste it somewhere? Thanks. Aleister 21:22 8-3-'13

I have a feeling I'll have to do the copypaste--but only after Puppy or some actual user of the feature checks it out and says it's okay. 21:27 PS--I've followed the links in the above page, and his diff makes a change to two JavaScript routines that are not present in our copy of the file. That is, I presume their wiki began with a version other than the version we have. Let me know if you want me to install any update. Spıke Ѧ 21:38 8-Mar-13

Thanks. Wouldn't the entire site be updated if someone installs it in the overall code? Puppy will tell us, maybe (for he has yet to make the clouds move and cut the extra inch off the top of the warning gif). I've just spent the night in the Alone in the Dark house trying to get out, but am still trapped. Aleister 12:53 9-3-'13
I haven't looked, but Ftiercel is someone who knows what he's talking about, and has done other stuff for cross-wiki utility. I'm pretty snowed under IRL at present, but I'll try to get there. As for clouds moving - I've thrown some notes in my user page relating to those couple of issues. Moving the clouds is a nightmare though. Improving the lightning is on my list of things to do.                               Puppy's talk page01:52 09 Mar 2013


Been awhile since I last logged in. What's been happening? Anything new I need to know about?--Iwillkillyou 333 TALK What's it like to be a heretic? 22:30, March 14, 2013 (UTC)

Nah, nothing new here. About 5/6ths of the users caught some kind of zombie disease and are gone now, and can be seen wandering aimlessly in the fields on a fork website looking for brains to eat. Some new admins, and lots of good users here too. Are you going to write some new stuff? That'd be nice. I haven't written too much lately, some fun UnNews have been my "highlights". You have been missed, and search parties will now be called back home. Aleister 2:25 15-3-'13

Ottawa Senators

As I know you to be a raving fan of ice hockey: Anon has supplied information on this team's new Head Coach and an assertion that he is a dead ringer for Uncle Pennybags of Monopoly fame. But he has hidden this point in a link in an Infobox; moreover, the photo of Uncle that the link points to shows the Head Coach receiving Head and Sannse could delete it at any time. Would you care to polish this joke? Spıke Ѧ 14:38 17-Mar-13

I know hockey from a hole in the ground. It's played with sticks, I think, and they fight a lot, and when somebody hits the glass their nose is broken. I think that a goal, and the guy who picks the player up off the ice gets an assist. The coach is getting head? And Sannse objects? What kind of nazi runs this place???? Aleister 20:58 17-3-'13

Actually, I know you not to be a raging fan of hockey at all, but quite good with illustrations. As for the Nazi question, open a frickin' Forum. No, don't. Spıke Ѧ 21:27 17-Mar-13

Never mind; I've done something with it. Spıke Ѧ 01:31 18-Mar-13

Ah, much better. You are a man of God. Aleister 18:26 18-3-'13
Personal tools