User talk:Aleister in Chains

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<center><big><big><big><big>'''Now, Blast off!'''</big></big></big></big></center>
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<center><big><big><big><big>'''[[UnBooks:The Second Conquest of the Moon|Now, Blast off]][http://en.uncyclopedia.co/ !]'''</big></big></big></big></center>
   
 
[[Image:Apecat1.JPG|thumb|right|250px|<big><center>'''I'm so glad you could stop by.'''</center></big>]]
 
[[Image:Apecat1.JPG|thumb|right|250px|<big><center>'''I'm so glad you could stop by.'''</center></big>]]
   
*[[Template:RecentUnNews|recnew]][[Template:Lead article 1|s]][[User:MadMax/galleries|pic]][[Forum:Uncyclopedi-tan?|masct]][[http://www.quantcast.com/uncyclopedia.wikia.com count]][[Uncyclopedia:Maintenance/Fix|fixpgs]][[Special:Contact|wika]][http://en.uncyclopedia.co/ this]]
 
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*[[User:Aleister in Chains/1|NSPole]][[user:Aleister in Chains/3|template]][[user:Aleister in Chains/g|g]][[user:Aleister in Chains/f|fada]][[user:Aleister in Chains/bells|blz]][[user:Aleister in Chains/m|m]][[User:Aleister in Chains/Mamie Eisenhower rewrite|mame]][[user:Aleister in Chains/Robot Jesus|Rbtjs]][[user:Aleister in Chains/Stuff|stuff]][[user:Aleister in Chains/Yoga|yga]][[user:Aleister in Chains/t|t]][[user:Aleister in Chains/abp|Amebkol]][[user:Aleister in Chains/911|st]][[user:Aleister in Chains/n|n]]
 
*[[HowTo:Do An UnNews Audio|audio]][[Forum:Timestamp Help|time]][[:Category:Best forum topics ever|bftics]][[User:Skinfan13/Upsilon Sigma Sigma/Collaboration|frtcolb]][[Special:Editcount|edcnt]][[user:Aleister in Chains/Kubrick|Kubrick]][[Special:PrefixIndex/User:Aleister in Chains|mor]][[:Category:Best forum topics ever|for]][[user:Aleister in Chains/Jed Clampett's wallet|Jed]]
 
*[[Special:ListGroupRights|rights]] [[Uncyclopedia:Reskin Archive|reskin]][[Forum:The case of Qua is now on trial by the community|qua]][[Special:Unusedimages|pics]][[Special:ImportFreeImages|getpics]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive1|arc1]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive2|2]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive3|3]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive4|4]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive5|5]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive6|6]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive7|7]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive8|8]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive9|9]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive10|10]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive11|11]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive12|12]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive13|13]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive14|14]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive15|15]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive16|16]][[user:Aleister in Chains/archive17|17]][http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Help:Wiki_markup wikcod][[user:Aleister in Chains/ats|ats]][[http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:Skinfan13/Upsilon_Sigma_Sigma/Collaboration/June2011collab muse]][[user:Aleister in Chains/news|newz]]
 
   
 
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==Hello==
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==[[Special:DoubleRedirects]]==
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Your recent renaming has put two pages on this list! Please fix them. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>23:15 18-Dec-13</small>
While doing research for an article in progress, it appears that wikipedia considers the paleolithic "Venus figures" to be erotic imagery. Please see [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_erotic_depictions wikipedia's page on the history of erotic art] --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 16:19, January 7, 2013 (UTC)
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:Don't worry, I fixed them for you. {{User:Simsilikesims/sig}} 00:31, December 19, 2013 (UTC)
:They were probably erotic to the cave men, who got turned on by them and hunted women and/or prehisoric giant sheep. I'll look at the page later, it sounds interesting. I do remember hearing that the majority of cave art is erotic, the general public just isn't shown those when cave art is discussed or presented. I've never followed up to see if this were true, although in the cave I live in it's certainly the case. Thanks. It's really good to see you around, I was mostly gone for five months in 2011 and seven months in 2012, just my way I guess. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] minutes later
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::Thanks SPIKE and Simsilikesims. After I changed the name I looked immediately at the Double Redirect log and it said there were no D.R., so I didn't check again (didn't know there was a time lag). [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 10:48 19-12-13
::p.s. Looks like a good page. They talk of 7,200 years ago as very ancient - I have an American Indian hammer a few feet away from me right now that's 8,000+ years old, and have lots of stone points and artifacts from that era. I really want to get a neanderthal point or tool, and should get on that at some point in the next few months. Nice find.
 
:::Are you planning on staying here, or moving to the new wiki? --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 16:40, January 7, 2013 (UTC)
 
::::I'm doing both. This wiki is where the public will be coming for a long time, although every day more and more of [[wikipedia:Dozen|the many]] "hard-core" uncyclopedia fans will learn about the new one, and hopefully it will start to show up in search engines. But I think most people want to keep both wiki's in good shape for the time being, although that may be harder unless we all get ban sticks and bop IPs and red-link users on the noggins. Did you look at the new site yet, they are doing a very good job of coding and other things I know nothing about, and it more or less looks like this one so much I have to check the url to see which one I'm on. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']]
 
 
===Women with horns===
 
 
Video was about dealing with dangerous animals (horned variety) coming at you. Point I was making is that if women are given horns, then they will soon figure out what the things are for, and ''use'' them. Most likely on any offending male's backside in the vicinity. Danger signs are lowering of the head, snorting, and repeated scraping of foot on ground. If you see this kind of activity.. RUN!!! Preferably head for a tree as they mostly aren't too good at climbing.
 
 
==I would like your opinion on something==
 
   
I recently wrote [[UnNews:Medical Cause of Unpregnancy Fetishism Discovered]] and would like your opinion of it. I don't think a full-on pee review would be appropriate since it is a one-trick pony. I really can't tell if the article is funny, or something that only Meganew, Socky, Hype, and myself would find funny. --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 18:12, January 10, 2013 (UTC)
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Yup, those reports only run once a day. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>11:05 19-Dec-13</small>
:It's very good, in that it covers the subject angle quite well. You may want to make up fake names for the doctor and psychiatrist, I notice you like to attribute quotes to anoms. The best thing about the page, of course, is the first picture. It had me all worked up, and then the second picture took me in the other direction. I don't know how you can like that stuff. Perv. You've been writing like two houses on stilts lately, nice work. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] 19:23 (a very good year)
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:::Aleister you psychopath...no more excuses. Excuses are for Psychopaths. And your name is Aleister. Okay? --{{User:Shabidoo/sig}} 23:09, December 19, 2013 (UTC)
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::::/<i> gets new message alert, look at talk page, scratches head, tiptoes out of the room (but thinking "watched half of the movie 'Seven Psychopaths' yesterday and really looking forward to the second half", tiptoes down the hall quietly. And Shabidoo, check your emails.</i> [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 12:40 20-12-13
   
== Oww ya gahrn ==
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== [[Forum:Anon objects to various photos and topics‎‎]] ==
   
Howdy Ma'am.
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Please consider removing that rant. Anon's mind will not be changed (even if he was authentically offended by the photo and not another Darthpedian trying to exploit differences of opinion here), and your invective is unwarranted (and distasteful when wrapped in a Christmas message). Anon didn't make a rule but only called my attention to an existing rule (apart from his other grievances that weren't legitimate). You handled the situation successfully, just don't heap blame on him for making the situation arise. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>23:57 24-Dec-13</small>
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:Fine. In the spirit of Saint Nick I'll edit it. But why put up a forum if we can't forum, didn't the Roman Senate itself accuse and rattle when an injustice has been rendered. If someone can justify why a photo of a guy eating a hamburger can stay while a guy eating an arm can't, I say they think they know the difference. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 00:05 25-12-13
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This is a wiki and anyone can edit anything. I am only suggesting that this particular edit is at best ineffective. And the topic of meat-eating versus flesh-eating is totally separate from this Anon. It would be nice if you toned it down. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>00:08 25-Dec-13</small>
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::It's pretty mid-ground about now, but he objected to a meat-eater and obviously doesn't realize that he's only seeing himself in that picture. I love the picture, as it made a perfect statement, so it wasn't nice of him to come in and try to censor nudes and pictures of his alter-ego. If he was just horrified by the arm-eater, fine, but he lumped it in with naked pictures of people, so he obviously stumbled into the wrong outpost. I have to sign off soon, so Merry Christmas once again. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 00:14 25-12-13
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:A perfect statement, '''''yikes!''''' But thanks. Stipulated that he was swinging at anything that moved. Enjoy Christmas eve! I should be on-site for four more hours. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>00:17 25-Dec-13</small>
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Much later: I especially appreciated your reason for voting for [[Paraguay]] at VFH — in which case you might enjoy the follow-on job, [[Chile]]. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>01:00 1-Jan-14</small>
   
Been a while since I molested this site outside of my own contribution dungeon. Which means I forgot who to taddle on when someone is being a limp-wristed-tail-gunning-Beiber-Wanking-Fuck-Tard ... whomever it is, can you report [[User:Mike the Great]] for changing a million articles to his obsession about loving dick.--{{User:Maniac1075/sig}} 02:34, January 12, 2013 (UTC)
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==Shooting albatrosses==
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As you are an expert on swearing in humourous articles, could you, please, say whether [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=Why%3F%3AShoot_the_albatross&diff=5762150&oldid=5407562 my edits] of the article [[Why?:Shoot the albatross]] made it worse or better? Someone disagreed with my statement that cursing at the end of the article did not make it better. Thank you! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 17:09, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
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:In fact, swearing in humorous articles was my minor in college, so I'll reply. Your edit at the end made it no worse, though one might indeed be tempted to swear on seeing a crossbow pointed at him. The swears were gratuitous but understandable. Above, though, "You had to go and do exactly the opposite!" is harder for me to work through than would be, "You had to go and do it anyway!" {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>17:15 3-Jan-14</small>
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::Ok, thanks! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 17:16, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
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:::I'm an expert at swearing in articles? What the fuck are you talking about, or are you just blowing your uncle's cum out your ass? OK, just kidding. You have to do it where it works and at no other time. My Second Conquest of the Moon article worked, imnho, when Selene marches. But swearing, like any other use of letter-combinations to create an image, an emotion, or a memory and meme connection in the readers mind and nervous systems, can be used to twist those things a little in a different direction, towards the satirical in most cases. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 17:25 3-1-14
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::::Ok, well, maybe I will restore something. Thanks to everyone! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 17:31, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
   
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== [[A BUTT POOP Christmas!!!!]] on VFD ==
   
==Your opinion==
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The duration of a vote is Admin's call. Given the wide majority to delete it, the predictability of your vote to keep it, and the fact that no other Admin has taken a position at all, I will leave the vote open. You are free to lobby; but you ought not do so in the ballot. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>14:41 5-Jan-14</small>
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:It was a comment, and I haven't looked to see if you've removed my comment (maybe another admin will see it and act on it for a change) but if you have, please put it back. Thanks. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 15:00 5-1-14
   
Do you think this [[User:Mnbvcxz/That time your mom wasn't nearly fucked by Joe Biden during her sojourn in the kitchen last night|inside-joke based article]] should be in mainspace? --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 15:10, January 12, 2013 (UTC)
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== [[User:Aleister in Chains/Proof of past life on Mars broken on UnNews]] ==
:[[Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!|Yes.]]{{User:Bizzeebeever/signature|20130112161927}}
 
::makes no sense to me at all, so theres an opinion from someone who isn't in on it. Does have potential to become a funny enough article if you spin enough shit about who wasn't fucked by whom in a more explained manor.--{{User:Maniac1075/sig}} 08:58, January 14, 2013 (UTC)
 
:::You crawled naked and dripping from your cave twice now, and it's lucky you weren't shot by the locals. Yes, look at the page and check out the categories, then go to the category which seems most like the article. There you will find a category. The in-joke is that Hyperbole once used that line as a throw-away line in a forum, and I made a category out of it, and msnbc, who asked the queston above and wrote the new article, tried in vain to get rid of that category, not once but several times, and each time I improved it on purpose to get his goat, which I finally got and made use of, and now he's written that page which (takes a breath. goes on) is an in-joke on another whole series of in-jokes, the sojourn series, which you will find if you look for another category on that same page, concerning sojourns, so it contains not one but two in-jokes which is like an Olympian running the hurdles and then, changing in the cab, swimming the 100 meters an hour later and doing a damn fine job of it too. If you got out more you'd know that, although it is good to see you and there are things in your hair which you may not even feel move around. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 10:16 14-1-'13
 
   
== Content warning ==
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This is userspaced. As explained in the Change Summary, this UnNews is not notable, does not read as news, overtly promotes another website and doesn't do anything else. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>20:37 23-Jan-14</small>
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:SPIKE this is going too far. An article like this doesn't even graze the border of questionable unnews. --{{User:Shabidoo/sig}} 20:41, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
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::If you were blonde and a lady I'd kiss you. Well, a cute lady, and if not I'd at least graze the border of kissing you. Of course it doesn't, and it may or may not be actual news too, which is the fun thing about it. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]]20:46 25-1-14
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:::Well...you could come over and help me shave my siamese cats. Later on we're going to watch episodes of wheel of fortune I downloaded from isohunt and we will take a shot of apple juice every time a player buys a vowel! --{{User:Shabidoo/sig}} 20:53, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
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::::I bought [[wikipedia:Sarah Vowell|a vowel]] once, but she ran away before I could keep her. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 20:57 25-1-14
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:::::The thing about vowels is that they need to be convinced. To be able to trust you. Running away is just a signal for you to chase her. No really means probably. Stop means be bold. You just have to understand the dynamics behind the vowel mind. --{{User:Shabidoo/sig}} 22:14, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
   
[[User:PuppyOnTheRadio/new content]]. Do your worst! (Although I haven't found a way to do the "rub his chest to enter" trick yet.) {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|03:18 17 Jan}}
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I've done the best I can by dedicating the [[UnSignpost|Top UnSignpost story]] to your discovery Al. Feel free to edit it and add bits if necessary. {{User:ScottPat/sig2}} 07:30, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
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:Thanks, very nice of you. I'll add the rock "lizard" to my UnNews as well, at your inspiration, and maybe this new one of another spoke creature alongside a little green martian I found on the pic where someone pointed out the possible but unlikely (pixel distortion, distance is a problem with these things) second Spoke fossil. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 15:48 26-1-14
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[[File:Littlegreenmanandspokecreature.jpg|thumb|center|300px]]
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::This image is proof that Elvis is alive. --{{User:Shabidoo/sig}} 18:15, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
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:::If only he were. The Mars images, even if they are just shapes and whatnots, are very interesting to look over. Kind of like google earth street level, but on Mars. Humans really should get a move on and put some people up there, I have no idea why they don't just put the money into the mission and do it. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 4:39 26-1-14
   
== Patrol flag ==
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==Number of views==
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I remember that you talked about Festivus once and said that the Wikipedia article was getting less views than before, contrary to the Uncyclopedia one. Is it true? If so, how can you find out how many views a page gets? Thanks. {{User:Anton199/sig}} 19:48, January 28, 2014 (UTC)
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:It probably has less views now, I haven't checked lately, because people who wanted to read it have likely already done so. You can see the number of viewers of any Wikipedia page by going into the history, look under external tools, and then click "page view statistics". It goes back either 30, 60, or 90 days, and you can look up any month in the pages existence as well to see how many people looked at it. It would be fun if we had that here, but would probably discourage everyone to find out the two people a year accidently stumble upon your favorite writing. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 5:11 2-2-14
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::Ok, thank you! I will now check this for every single article I read on Wikipedia! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 10:11, February 2, 2014 (UTC)
   
Regarding your Change Summary: You do remember wrong. We were both on patrol just now and you and your faster interface were eating my lunch. Please reread [[User talk:SPIKE#Mutaween]] with new stuff (numbered list) by Puppy. Undo never patrols a change. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>20:14 18-Jan-13</small>
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==Mars thing==
:I know, it's rollback. Thanks for the reminder, I was learning on the job. I just referenced the Unicorn section in Tantra over on ATS, so I better go polish it (hahaahhahaha polish the unicorn horn). Al 10:32
 
   
== Advice to I.P. Anon ==
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Hey...I changed your news article a little. I injected a second real news element (the jelly donut rock found on mars). I think your story with a touch of the other real news works well. I put it back on unnews so to have it there while this is still news. If you don't like the changes I made I won't be offended at all in the least if you revert some or re-name-space it and do whatever you want with it. That's because I'm your pic-upload-bitch and that's the kitch of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiet a pic-upload bitch does...I think. --{{User:Shabidoo/sig}} 04:22, January 29, 2014 (UTC)
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:Hi, I'll put back some of your changes, just that much of it was off-topic and I had people from ATS come by to read it and it turned out to be very different than what I thought was there (see SPIKE, off-site links work both ways). The jelly donut isn't anything except people trying to grab nothing out of something, it's a rock that flipped when the rover's tire hit it and NASA did a thorough study of it. I thought it's in the name space, so I have no idea what's going on with the article now, and will do more with it when time permits. Like tomorrow. Mars is for losers (or lovers. one of those). [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 5:18 2-2-14
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::I don't care if you keep the changes or not. Honestly. I was just trying to change the article so that the rediculous "non-news" nonsense would be a non-issue which it should have been in the first place. This conspiracy is such gobbledegook. LOL. --{{User:Shabidoo/sig}} 05:44, February 2, 2014 (UTC)
   
I can see that you were trying to help Anon today. However, my philosophy is that that is more than they are entitled to. Someone who has registered with a user name, I try to help along. An Anon who shows promise, I post on his talk page asking him to register. An Anon who does not show promise is entitled at most to an informative Change Summary with his revert. Striking up a conversation on Anon's talk page is like befriending a stranger by calling a pay phone. Just my opinion. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>03:57 21-Jan-13</small>
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==That time I accidentally visited your talk page and left a message==
:If seemed he was working on the page, just going about it wrong. So I gave him one word of advice, but he may have done what he wanted to and left. He packed his bags without having any bags. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] seven hours later
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What do you think about [[UnBooks:My sojourn]] now? I am not finished yet but I hope it will be some time soon. Will it be fine if I moved your Titanic one there as well? {{User:Anton199/sig}} 11:04, February 19, 2014 (UTC)
   
== Stubby Pages ==
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==Abby Martin==
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...is back with [[Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnNews:Abby Martin ‘non-notable’ Wikipedia ban boosts notability (2nd nomination)|with her nomination]]! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 17:59, February 19, 2014 (UTC)
   
Hmm..what's with the [[I've been alone here for like a fucking hour?|one line article]] Al? --{{User:Romartus/sig2}} 08:27, January 21, 2013 (UTC)
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==Green Pants==
:Like a forum, but with less work than a forum. A coyote cry to find more of the pack. Please delete it as fast as you can. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] two hours later
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[[File:PunkPants01.jpg|thumb|left|150px]]
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Sponsored Irish Green underpants. --{{User:Romartus/sig2}} 17:36, February 20, 2014 (UTC)
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:Thanks! And I'm glad you posed with your friend. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 14:36 Ides of March-14
   
== i lolled ==
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==My sojourn==
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The only major edits I made to the My sojourn articles were to add the original title in the template and a link to the next chapter at the end. What do you mean by the first article got changed? [http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/index.php?title=UnBooks%3AMy_sojourn%2FChapter_1&diff=5781205&oldid=5490018] The point of this book is to gather the best articles together (not counting the introduction, its point is to introduce a storyline). If you don't know what all the My sojourn thing is about, you won't necessarily understand it after one article but you certainly will after several chapters of the book.
   
i give you permission to self-feature that thing about the brown rice --{{User:Thekillerfroggy/sig}} 13:24, January 23, 2013 (UTC)
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You also said once: "[...] I'm winging a lot of these comments, and learning at the same time I'm typing them - so I haven't yet gotten full appreciation of the pages which, I just realize, your unbook can make people do".
:Thanks. And I'll take the feature offer as valid, so thanks again. Eat brown rice (EBR). [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 19:58 23-1-'13
 
   
==Article Attribution==
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The only article I remember rewriting is [[That time I nearly ran out of loaves and fishes during my sojourn in Bethsaida]], but I did not think it was great the way it was and so it was a complete rewrite and not just the removal of swear words (which I don't do anymore). Would you like to look at the articles and undo my changes, if they deleted some of the original concept? {{User:Anton199/sig}} 15:49, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
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:And also - will you allow me to move your titanic sojourn there? And the kept VFD page? {{User:Anton199/sig}} 15:52, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
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::The original names of articles are now all displayed in [[:Category:My sojourn]]! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 19:45, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
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:::Thanks for adding the names back in. If you look at the history of Chapter One of your book, I forget which Sojourn it is (may I suggest the original one be moved to "Chapter One"?) you edited it from the original and toned-down the first key line as well as the caption. That's what I meant. Of course you can move Titanic there, and I also wrote one on Jim Frekowski (what a great man he is!) your book is proceeding and I think the only concern I had was solved by you putting the original names back in the category. But please check the history of the first chapter, you may have forgotten that you've changed it. Thanks for the follow-up. [[user:Aleister|Al]] 21:53 13-3-14
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::::OK, I agree that the first one deserves to be the first one and I'll proceed to it immediately! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 11:01, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
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:::::I undid everything I could! The introduction is the same is before and the caption is as well! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 11:07, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
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::::::Looking good! Thanks for the switcheroos, and we should be writing more My Sojourns once your book is done. Maybe a contest? [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 14:37 Ides of March-14
  +
:::::::My sojourn contest? Nice idea! We should. {{User:Anton199/sig}} 19:34, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
   
[http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/That_time_your_mom_wasn%27t_fucked_by_Joe_Biden_during_her_sojourn_in_the_kitchen_last_night This article] on Free Uncyclopedia appears to have inadequate attribution. {{Tl|spork}} would be an appropriate means of giving proper attribution to this, or any, article. I refuse to register on Free Uncyclopedia, so I can't change it. --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 14:19, January 23, 2013 (UTC)
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==This gif==
:OK, I'll see what I can do, I moved it over there and will be sure it has the proper author's name on it.....me! hahahahahahahahahahaha [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 19:57 23-1-'13 I'll get to it later, thanks for the two heads up.
 
::I checked the Creative commons, and it looks that style of documentation (aka edit summaries or talk page comments) is probably adequate for meeting the attribution requirements of the license. --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 20:35, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
 
:::I didn't know any other way to do it, is there? That's the only page outside of my own which I've moved there, only because it was sooooooo good. It's got a red link, though, where your other Joe Biden page was linked. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']]
 
::::The template {{Tl|spork}} would work, but might not not be popular with with Free Uncyclopedia on sporks from here. On a related note, the article that you moved was deleted by {{U|Lyrithya}} on here about in August/September of 2011 because she didn't think it was funny. --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 13:17, January 25, 2013 (UTC)
 
:::::SHe didn't get the joke. Nah, the template would ruin the page. If ever I get mistaken for the author of the page and get a check for many thousands of whatever money your country uses, I'll send you maybe 1%, showing good faith. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] minutes later
 
   
== Nazipedia ==
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Deserves to be in some article. Where? But where? --{{User:Shabidoo/sig}} 10:05, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
   
To think that, a week ago, I proposed that we toy with the Fork's styling itself as "Free Uncyclopedia" and re-skin Sophia with a swastika. That is now a given, isn't it? {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>01:24 24-Jan-13</small>
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[[File:Collapse.gif|500px]]
:the ultimate satire. He should fucking beg all the jew administrators to teach him how to be an admin, to tutor him like a child. He could grow into this or will be joining [[Anne Hathaway|Eva Braun]] in the uncy-afterlife. We have to remember, being a nazi (lol) doesn't mean he's breaking any law or hurting anyone physically. Freedom of thought and freedom of speech should play into this, true rights that freedom people fought for. We must treat this nazi with all the respect and all the backslapping pranks that an admin deserves, and he will always be looking over his [[wikipedia:Shoulder|shoulder]] at Chief sitting there, riding him like a donkey, ready to administer Raging Jew Justice (no, I don't know if chief is Jewish, but Mordillo is. Maybe this will get Mordillo back as a teacher). this should be fun. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 1:36
 
   
Do we even have an article on [[Raging Jew Justice]]? {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>01:52 24-Jan-13 Guess not.</small>
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:Not too bad right where it is. But for an article, this deserves an UnNews! Write it up and it will be a classic, or my name isn't [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 12:59 25-3-14
::Hmmmmm. We've done good collabs before. Interested? We don't have to do a quick page, take our time with it. We could just play on each others edits and not even have a plan. Life is good on nights like this. Remember [[Night of Broken Glass]], Hyperbole's favorite page here and in my top two or three. We tried to get it featured at least once, and then built pages onto it and put a category around it. Good times. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 3:09 24-1-'13
 
   
It sounded good, but a day of reverting the Template Spammer and sending first kisses to newbies has left me without creative juices; also, don't know what your excuse is, but I'm about to quit for the day. "Play on each other's edits and not even have a plan" sounds a lot like, "Give each other Edit Conflicts, not to mention creative conflicts pursuing separate visions we haven't even discussed." But we'll do another collab some day soon. With a plan. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>03:17 24-Jan-13</small>
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==Feature==
   
== [[Lake Zurich, Illinois]] ==
+
[[Guidebook to the Voting Rights Movement related faces in the cloud]]. Your entry in the HOS has been amended. --{{User:Romartus/sig2}} 08:16, March 26, 2014 (UTC)
   
Thank you for reverting {{U|Jobeykobra}} on this. But the clean-up isn't complete; moreover, Google "Wayne Kuklinski" "Lake Zurich". This guy is a football coach charged with porn and perhaps child molestation. Haven't read the verdicts and it's not cyberbullying because he is/was in the public eye (or other organs), but tell me if they're really doing anything funny with the reference. Cheers. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>23:42 26-Jan-13</small>
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==[[User:Aleister in Chains/Isaac Asimov]]==
Thanks again. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>00:24 27-Jan-13</small>
 
:No, thank you. I actually am Wayne Kuklinski, and damn, I never knew this was here. I should have caught this long ago. So thanks. [[user:Aleister|'''Wayne K.''']] 00:35 27-1-'13
 
::Your sense of humor was the clue that you had a Jones for young boys in Phys Ed shorts. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>00:38 27-Jan-13</small>
 
:::But I only served six days (a good lawyer in the family). A serious question, will the google machine scan this talk page and come back with the name here? I don't know how that works. There's an entire forum at Above Top Secret which isn't scanned, and I don't know how they do that either. All I know is gym class. [[user:Aleister|Wayne K., or as the boys call me, Wayney, or MrK9000]] minutes later
 
::The newspaper I post to (you recall the "stupid dick" I quoted earlier) assembles reader responses with JavaScript and they are not part of the web page that Google would retrieve. As you can cut-and-paste reader text, there is obviously a way. Google would only serve up the dirt on you if you stood for office, or if the price were right. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>01:22 27-Jan-13</small>
 
   
== On patrol ==
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Good evening, Mr In-chains, have a look at the above link and the amendments therein, think with a tad more work we might be in a position to move Mr Asimov back to his rightful place in mainspace. -- {{User:Mhaille/sig}}
  +
:I have only a faint memory of "saving" this when it was being huffed for some reason (forest fire? vfd?). I'd forgotten I had it. If you don't mind I'll do a quick edit run (which may last for seconds or hours). I once telephoned Sir Isaac because I had read that he kept a public phone number, and asked him how many gallons of water an average body would displace or hold if we could fill up the space of a body with water. He took the time and figured it out. I forget what the answer was, because my purpose was just to talk to Isaac Asimov, so I got to hang out with him for a couple of minutes. Haven't thought of that in a long time, thanks for the memories. I'll go check out Mr. A now. Thanks. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 15:02 27-3-14
  +
::Agree that we could do with funnying up the list, think its important to keep a fairly full list on the page no matter how much they are frowned upon, simply because it reflects the actual wikipedia Asimov page so well. Cool story re: the phone call, just be grateful you didn't get to meet [[Arthur C. Clarke]] as a young boy... ;) -- {{User:Mhaille/sig}}
  +
:::Clarke would have shown me the ropes (in more ways than one). I met him when he lectured at my college, and then four or five of us had a "private session" with him (heh heh), well, not that private, as it was public, but only a few took him up on it and we continued the discussion in another room. A guy and I walked him to his car, and years later that fellow and I teamed up to do some good work and only later in life did he remind me that we had met at the Clarke event. Do you want to hear my Heinlein story? (smiley face here). Aye, the list could be better and it will come. My brain is actually working on its own trying to figure out a new section for the page, but you, kind sir, do final edits as, like I said, I'd forgotten it was even sullied with my name or user space. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] few minutes later
   
I'm trying to pare down the unpatrolled entries:
+
::::Wow....you've "done" the [[Penis joke|Big Three]].... -- {{User:Mhaille/sig}}
*At [[Freezing Moon]], an article about a song, Anon makes up complete lyrics for the song. I don't know the song so I don't know if they're funny. Also don't know why this doesn't belong in UnLyrics. Wikipedia would never have actual song lyrics because of plagiarism concerns.
+
:::::Bradbury too. Long story. And I looked at my last edits in print on the Asimov page and lol lol at my own joke book title: "Roll, Roll, Roll Robot, Gently Drown Machine" (robotic murder mystery) . I guess the page is stuck with robot humor, but the section I have in mind hasn't come to mind yet. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] sometime later that day
*At [[Serbia]], {{U|A Nonny Moose}} has replaced one illustration with another, and I am running with images off, just because I am a cheap bastard. Would you please evaluate the change (of 23-Jan)? Separately, the other column of this Infobox is an API to Google Maps. This is clever but surely an effort to inform people about The Old Country (voiced in a Slavic accent!) rather than amuse. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>01:00 27-Jan-13</small>
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::::::Replaced the first image with something a little more suitable for the great man....also started to fix up the Heinlein article which looked a little shabby...wouldn't it be great if someone organised a central "hub" to highlight all the Sci Fi related articles.... -- {{User:Mhaille/sig}}
::The image is better but was way too big, so I downsized it. I'm a fan of informing people through our pages, probably wouldn't be here if I couldn't do that. Hmmmm, now I'll look at the song page. And will sing the lyrics to see if they ryme, unlike most lyrics. Just reminded myself about something else I wanted to do here, I'm off.......[['''Wayne K., or as the kids call me, "MrK!!!"''']]
 
   
When you Cum back....I don't agree. Links out to Google, no matter how "informative," are like links to YouTube. I was told we are here for production of original comedy, not as a catalog of other stuff available on the Web. Someone who includes a Google map of Serbia wants you to get to know his homeland, not laugh. But a second opinion is why I asked. Happy...whatever. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>01:20 27-Jan-13</small>
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== Your bitching in that place ==
:Oh, it's a google map or something, I've never looked at those. Let's get rid of that one. I meant full-on historical lessons that can't be gotten anywhere else ([[Claudette Colvin]] and stuff like that). I changed the lyrics to be funnier and less a copy of the song. hahahahahahahaha [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] minutes later
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Thanks. I had a chat to someone somewhere else about that thing, and he was intractable, so I'm leaving it as is. I'm not fussed about getting that award over there - I honestly haven't done that much over the last year to warrant it there. {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|08:13 pm 31 Mar 2014}}
::On the google crawler - there's an option that we can add to a page to make it non-searchable via google, but I can't recall what it is off the top of my head. I've only had need to use it once or twice. (Keeping history intact while protecting someone's identity.) I'd be more inclined to focus any SEO efforts on phrases like “comedy” and “satire”. {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|01:36 27 Jan}}
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:My pleasure. I saw it there as giving you a lifetime achievement award (you won it fair and not so square here), and since the nom was open, and nobody else was nommed, and you won, and then had it ripped out of your hands, I had to rant about the unfairness of it all, it all. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 18:09 2-4-14
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::I didn't even notice the award nomination or whatnot and stuff on either site. Could either of you folks link that page on the spoon here for me my dears? --{{User:Shabidoo/sig}} 22:07, April 2, 2014 (UTC)
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:::I do love a nice spoon in the morning... -- {{User:Mhaille/sig}}
  +
::Shabidoo, you have your lost in clouds. hahahaha. Check out the forums here, somewhere in there. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 20:36 3-4-14
  +
::::Mhaille, I'm feel satisfied with Asimov after an out-loud reading/edit session while stoned. How does it look? Please edit and play to your heart's content (the heart on the left, not the robotic companion). Thanks for bringing this back into my life /''satiric emphasis, then runs away to smoke some more and find food''/ [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 20:42 3-4-14
  +
:::::Still some areas for improvement, but at least we have something fitting now. It was a travesty that we were without an article for the great man... -- {{User:Mhaille/sig}}
  +
::::::Greatest man who ever lived (if you asked him). Please, add and improve to your heart's content. Have you seen the Science Fiction template? It was nice work (I forget who did it but it was a labor of love - love of Isaac Asimov!) [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 17:48 10=4=14
   
On that new thing: What it does is publish your preferences when you request a web page--not make anything impossible. Doesn't that give you a nice warm feeling? {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>01:40 27-Jan-13</small>
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==The bomb accident==
:I don't know what you mean by that. But ah, that must be what ATS does on its one forum, a forum "Really Above Top Secret" whose topics nobody is supposed to mention anywhere else on the site. Thanks for the info. Must go now, I came here to add Taylor Swift to the DAP template and you corralled me into actually doing work. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] 1:42 27-1-'13
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Do you think what I added fits? Thanks for your help! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 11:41, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
::Have you ever tried googling RATS? (Not as the acronym, mind you.) {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|01:47 27 Jan}}
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:Nice additions (I took out the Huskies, didn't know how that fit, and put the narrator back in the back of the plane, where the bomb release was). This can end up to be a really good page. More, more. Be back later, and maybe the KABOOM should be in color or a wavy effect, or a massive link to Wikipedia pages on the destruction of Hiroshima --- giving me ideas as I type thanks, [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 13:00 9--4--14
:::? On both google and bing all I get is rats (wikipedia) and pictures of rats. SWhat are you drinking? [['''Red Al''']]
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::I think KABOOM is fine like that with a large font, bold and italic! Is the file you've just uploaded going to be used in that article? If that's the case,, it's going to make it even funnier! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 18:28, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
::::http://www.google.com.au/search?q=Really+Above+Top+Secret {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|01:57 27 Jan}}
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:::I thought of it but it came out pretty small. Oh, you mean in addition to the top pic? Or do you think it's a good one to replace the top? What were you thinking? I like the way some of the page is coming together, and your additions of some of the formula I'd forgotten. I think a couple of more words and links in the injuries area. My favorite is the "Goddamn it to hell" section header, as if it's both the guy talking to himself because of the mistake he made and an accurate description of the event itself. I knew an old relative who was on the ground in Hiroshima not long after the blast, and my earliest memories of him are of him showing me the photos he took of the city not too long after it was toast. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 19:29 9=4=14
:::::Ben, the two of us need look no more. {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|01:59 27 Jan}}
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::::Yep, instead of the original one. It looks very good now! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 13:14, April 10, 2014 (UTC)
::::::And that's old news, it's not even private anymore, you just have to have 20 posts and you can look at it. There's actually one scary thread, end of the world kind of thing, and I've researched the guy who wrote it from his edits there and happily he seems like a jerk making up stuff. I kind of outed him on the thread and he came back with another (hopefully) made up story. I won't tell you which one it is here, too disturbing for young ears, like the guy who posted under this one thinking I like Alice in Chains (I do like her in chains, but not the band). Rats, [[ieifnhefe|'''Red Al''']]
 
   
== Alice in Chains... ==
+
== [[That time your mom wasn't fucked by Joe Biden during her sojourn in the kitchen last night]] ==
   
I'm assuming you like them? --[[User:TheKoromoAmae|TheKoromoAmae]] ([[User talk:TheKoromoAmae|talk]]) 01:58, January 27, 2013 (UTC)
+
Don't you think ''That time your mom wasn't '''raped''' by Joe Biden during her sojourn in the kitchen last night'' would be better? {{User:Anton199/sig}} 12:23, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
:Not really, it was just a play on words when I came to the site, never knowing I'd be writing here and actually stick around. I can't even remember now how I found this place, or why I decided to stay. I started writing "Phil Ochs" an old-time folk/anti-war singer I like, and found writing here was fun and unprofitable, so I must have liked it. Can't recall now, too much crack cocaine and H in-between (a true story, I actually had a college roomate who I knew for two years in college, and we got an apartment together for half a semester. He came to my house about a year after graduating, and said he hardly remembered me because he had gone up in the mountains and done LSD for a year. I'm anti-LSD by the way, it stays in the body much too long, not a good one. I ramble) [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 2:12 27-1-'13 (and who are you? if new, welcome. if not new, who are you?)
+
:Hi, you're doing great work on this stuff. The title of the article relates to [[:Category:People who didn't fuck your mom in the kitchen last night|the category]] and specifically Joe Biden which was [[Forum:What are Categories for?#Hyperbole's Two BILLION Cents|originated here]], which was a major part of the beginning of the category and an argument and edit-war as mnbvcxz hated both that category and the People Who Will Not Kneel Before Zod category, and then it became an in-joke and I kept improving the People who.... category (notice the specific photo arrangement of linked photos, lots of them have their heads tilted to the left) and all hell didn't break loose. Good times. How do you like the Christian Bale one now, I've tossed a few things into it. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 12:28 14-4-14
  +
::Good work! If you don't object, I'll now move [[That time I threw my own poop at monkeys during my sojourn in a zoo]] with gloves on my hands and my eyes closed. {{User:Anton199/sig}} 14:21, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:::Thanks! That monkey sojourn wasn't one of mine, I've only written two originals. Every member should do at least one sometime, a rite of passage methinks. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 14:27 14-4-14
  +
::::Oh, right! Well, I still won't take the gloves off. {{User:Anton199/sig}} 14:34, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
  +
::::I've written a piece myself: [[That time I was attacked by my step-son during my sojourn in Peloponnese]]. You can judge! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 16:35, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:::::Quite good, which is why I'd say keep polishing to make it one of the best of the bunch. The first caption needs the 'fucking psycho' line, of course, imnho. Nice work! Feature a coming (I assume your whole book will be featured once it's in place and a good cover page is added. SPIKE will be itching to do one now, probably something about baseball). [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 18:30 14-4-14
  +
::::::Oh, you meant cover ''page''? I thought it was about the book's cover, or an image which would serve as one! Could you also tell me what you think about [[UnBooks:My sojourn/Prologue]], which was designed to be an introduction to this UnBook? I think it could be a good one with a few more edits! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 18:58, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:::::::For some reason I keep envisioning your book having an awesome cover. Maybe a good tatochopper can work with you to come up with one. Ah, the prologue, I'll read it over later. Thanks for taking this project to heart, but to do so you must be fucking psycho! [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] half an hour or so later
  +
::::::::The last edits were made to the Greek my sojourn I've written, the caption fixed, and do you think it's good enough to be a subpage of the UnBook? By the way, if you want to know what it is about, the article is based on a classical French tragedy, ''Phèdre'' by Racine, but even if you haven't heard of the book, I think you'll still understand that the scene is from the Greek mythology. {{User:Anton199/sig}} 12:35, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
  +
::::::::::So much polishing of that particular page was done! Do you think my article deserves the place of the 23rd chapter of the book? {{User:Anton199/sig}} 15:25, April 22, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:::::::::::The 23rd chapter of a book is an honored chapter, and, since you may have written the most intelligent sojourn and one for others to try to emulate, nice work!!! That's the level of satire these things could reach if everyone gives it a try. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] minutes later
   
==Drfg==
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==A lot of thanks==
i just don't fell like doing this anymore.can you delete my account
+
To you for putting me up for the Writer of the Month award and for voting at the other two! I would like to let you know that I appreciate this very much, despite your money interests! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 19:10, April 19, 2014 (UTC)
please confirm by my email {{unsigned|drfg}}
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:Only did it for the money. Nothing personal. But if you don't win all three there will be an international tribunal investigation. A well-earned triple-crown. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 18:47 20-4-14
:None of us fell like doing this anymore, except for Puppy, who is not even a year old yet and chases anything that moves. I can't delete your account, but it will just sit there with nobody touching it, unless someone like me finds it and adds stuff to it, like a one edit user who took one of the greatest names in sports and wasted it. Tell you what, I will say I deleted your account, you believe me, and never look at it again. That way, in twenty years you can come use it again, and write magnificent real life stuff about that trip into space you took with your friend, the women who broke your heart so you cut out theirs, and the dog you used to own but who then chased one too many horses into the pasture. Good to know you, and we will drink a toast to you when you are gone. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 11:05 28-1-'13
 
   
==NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHUMP OF UNCY==
+
==What do you think about this cover?==
{{User:Funnybony/sig}} <small><small>19:31, Jan 28</small></small>
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I edited [[:File:Yak2.png]] and this is what I got:
:hahahaha Thanks. I'll leave it here for a few hours, then move it to my stuff. What happens when I'm dethroned, do you have an ex-heavyweight belt, or do I get to keep this one? It's so confusing. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 20:47 28-1-'13
 
::Uncl champion belt - unlike diamonds - is forever.--{{User:Funnybony/sig}} <small><small>06:42, Jan 29</small></small>
 
   
== Amongst ==
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[[File:My Sojourn cover.png|350px]]
   
Very good, especially for a Brit. I have always viewed "amongst" as an affected version of "among"--worse than "envisage" for the American "envision." Also "whilst." {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>10:37 30-Jan-13</small>
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{{User:Anton199/sig}} 18:59, May 1, 2014 (UTC)
:Brit? Zana and "I" abhor crumpets. Where does the "enter" button go, will that be in the midst of the template or under it, and are you using your "big button" (I forgot the name of the page) which would be very danish. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 11:30
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:If you need me to modify anything or if you think it should be funnier, tell me! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 17:59, May 6, 2014 (UTC)
::p.s. Whoops, my brain thought you were Puppy. Thanks for the kind words. Do you have graters in your country? The language doubles back on itself in America, so "right" means "right" which are total opposites of each other. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] 11:40
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::We should T-shirt''-isize'' this! --[[Special:Contributions/176.58.213.148|176.58.213.148]] 18:44, May 6, 2014 (UTC)
:::I think he's Puppy at times as well. And the buttons will be below the text. I didn't play with them at all. {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|12:02 30 Jan}}
 
::::Just wondering if we should put the buttons above the text, or somewhere that people don't get lost in the genius of the text itself and forget to punch in. Didn't Chief say we lost a quarter of our readers when the warning template went up? This one is so good it will scare away everyone, including us. I sure as hell am not going [[Alone in the Dark|in there]]. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] 12:06
 
:::::I have no idea what impact the warning had on visitors. I can promise that the kittens would make me turn away instantly though - more than the warning itself. {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|12:18 30 Jan}}
 
::::::You are a heartless man. Yes, there was a forum where Chief was given a pass by the overlords at wikia to peek at the traffic numbers, and that seems to be how the impact was reported, although traffic has picked up again. But you're probably right, the type of mind that likes uncyclopedia will probably be more entertained by the new template than by those cute kittens. The lightning alone will be talked about and more people may come by to take a look. Soon we'll have to sell tickets. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] 12:36
 
:::::::Selling tickets, yes! And merchandise! We need more commercialism! {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|12:45 30 Jan}}
 
   
== [[Forum:A suggestion]] ==
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[[File:Rh5010aee2.gif|center]]
   
''Yikes!'' Thank you for adding imagery of armed conflict. There's no chance that will feed an atmosphere of drama. Regarding junking the Content Warning, I have never asked for any such measure as a personal reward. (That was you, remember?) A mere doubling of my pay would do the trick. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>14:29 6-Feb-13</small>
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:::::::::::::-- [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 20:07 6-5-14
:Oh, sword and shield. But I said it was in defence, which is what your reply reminded me of, very well written. The content warning is a major non-wikipedian-satire point of conflict which I do hold, in my own defence of the site. It would be nice if everyone unified about that request. If for no other reason is that it goes against our imitation of wikipedia, the original premise of the entire idea. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] minutes later
 
   
== Hey what's all this about a new site- etc. ==
+
==Well you asked for it==
   
Hey Aleister- Like Michael Jordan I'm working on my third comeback- and then I get an email from some Bizzebeever character about how I'm not on the real site- what up with that??--{{User:Claudius Prime/sig}} 23:28, February 6, 2013 (UTC)
+
New article no one under forty will understand at [[Boko Harum]] --[[User:Sog1970|Sog1970]] ([[User talk:Sog1970|talk]]) 18:03, June 19, 2014 (UTC)
:Take it from someone who remembers what you were like on the original Dream Team, tongue hanging out as you flew through the air, scribbling like mad, cranking out cerebral articles - you are on the proper site. But maybe it's best not to take the word of a drive-by comment like this. Anyway, back to the sock modeling. --{{User:Imrealized/sig}} 01:12, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
+
:Cool. I'll probably miss most of the feelings and imagery as well, wasn't a PH fan, or a fan of many bands. I liked individual singers, most with a guitar and a microphone. So I'll be educated too! Thanks for alerting me. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 18:05 19-6-14
::Hey thanks Imrealized- I remember a lot of your gloriousness as well. Does anyone want to fill me in on what's been going on or should I continue to guess and troll the village dump while deleting emails from strangers about this 'other site'....?--{{User:Claudius Prime/sig}} 01:38, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
 
:::(edit conflict and the last message got erased, please repost, thanks)I wish there was a two paragraph history. In short, wikia censored us, put up a content warning, some admins set up a fork site without telling anyone else, they put it up and announced "This is uncyclopedia now, yay!", some people left and some stayed and some, like me, go between the two sites but am mainly on Above Top Secret. Lots of heavy hitters only write-admin on one or the other. This site has the most hits per day (over 50,000), the fork has more users and more people running around naked. This site does not try to hurt the other one, the other one tries to hurt this one sometimes, and tried to admin a nazi they had banned there which created bad blood but was pretty funny. Different year end winners, Funnybony is writer of the year here and Romartus is uncyclopedian of the year, at the fork TKF is Writeroty and Frosty and BB are uncys of the year. You are welcome and loved at both, and Marilyn Monroe will raise herself from the dead to chase you whereever you go. You did the Anais Nin page, I almost bought a traced handprint of hers, she was a trendsetter of the first order, and acted with Cameron in that one film. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 3:22 7-2-'13
 
:::::Thanks for the info Aleister- the whole thing sounds like a bit of a cluster- why not fight back here and keep everything on one site- two sites- seems convuluted to me- I see all my articles are on the other site too- that's not confusing AT ALL.........--{{User:Claudius Prime/sig}} 17:42, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
 
::::::Yeah, they were able to mirror everything up until January 5 (maybe the 4th or 3rd). The people who edit here aren't into fighting with the fork, and only a very few people there really dislike this place. It would be great to see you write new pages as well as put a polish on some of your older ones (Funnybony and I polish for years!). You can write here and also copy your page to the fork if you'd like. It's not as noisy here, at least im my feeling of the two sites. All in all it doesn't make that much of a difference where you write, as long as you write! I look forward to seeing your new stuff because we all grow with the years and you will have a new perspective and talent to bring forward. Yowzer! [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] 20:00 same day
 
:They missed a few pages the first time around, so there were a bunch of extra ones moved over in late January as well. And while there is no policy to say they may continue to update cross site, there's no policy to say that they won't. There have been one or two pages written since that have been copied over that aren't from the admins (ie copy pasted), but they are few. {{User:PuppyOnTheRadio/sig3|09:43 07 Feb}}
 
   
== Aleister, what the fuck happened to our collab on the new site? ==
+
== Books, UnBooks ==
   
Did you forget about it while you were editing here? Seems this is the only reasonable place to contact you.--{{User:Kamek98/sig2}} 00:39, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
+
Here, I found an old UnBook, written by Skullthumper, whose size is comparable to that of an actual book and to which you once made an edit: [[UnBooks:The Frogs]]. I don't know if you are interested, but you once said that you have never seen an actual book on Uncyclopedia. Well, here you go.
:I thought you were done with it, I can't keep up with your speed on those things. I did get Socky to release his stuff to you, and added a bit to the page. I would have thought you put it on VFH already. Will look at it tomorrow, I'm writing a lot on ATS and if you notice I really haven't written much here the last few days. Say hi to Claudius Prime above, he's done some really good pages. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] 3:28 7-2-'13
 
   
== Don't feed the troll ==
+
On a related topic, could you help me with [[UnBooks:My sojourn]]? I made a table of contents page (kind of), resembling a table of contents a real adventure novel might have, and so the project is almost finished. However, there are still two mainspace pages, which I can't put anywhere: [[That time I was nearly raped by an Oscar Wildebeest during my sojourn in wherever Oscar Wildebeests come from]] and [[That time NIGGERS STOLE MY PAGE during my sojourn on the internet]]. I am still not sure about them. I wrote a message to [[User_talk:Mhaille|Mhaille]], but he likes his page the way it is, while I honestly think that it isn't finished.
   
Not even doughnuts and coffee. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>11:36 7-Feb-13</small>
+
Yours is a good piece, but I don't feel comfortable with the title. Not that it offends me, because I know what it's all about, but I am not sure it's a good choice, even though it summarizes the story well. I know that if it is moved to a subpage of My sojourn UnBook, then it'll be very easy to alter it. Only, I don't know how. Do you have any advice or suggestions? {{User:Anton199/sig}} 16:16, June 23, 2014 (UTC)
:TKF was a little bit of a dick there towards Mn-x, but he still is a crat here and it was a funny line. Maybe we all should have a pregnancy writing contest, with variations on the theme. I still like my umbilical cord idea. Umbilical cords are a topic not even mentioned in polite society. Alright, I'm going to have to write a page or an unnews or something. Thanks for the inspiration. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] 11:43
 
*{{for}} pregnancy writing contests, because pregnant bellies are apparently more offensive than nipples, penises, and the occasional poop-filled condom. --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 15:56, February 7, 2013 (UTC)
 
*{{Against}} These all feature photographs of what, in context, must be viewed as a naked sex organ. We need a Policy. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>16:11 7-Feb-13</small>
 
::I can't tell if Spike is being satiric. If bellies are a sex organ (unless you're into that), then so are feet, hands, hair, foreheads, the neck (ummmmm, necks), and last but not least, the elbows. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 20:03 same day
 
:::You really can't tell? Even with the capital P. My bad. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>20:10 7-Feb-13</small>
 
::::Well, I have a mental construction of you as pretty harsh and grumpy. So these kind of things go over my head, almost (if I was betting I would have bet you were playing, so I guess I did tell). Msnbc would jump anything round, so we should all pitch it to get him a big balloon with the tie-end all naked for him to nuzzle and gudnumple with. I call sloppy seconds! [[user:Aleister|Al]] minutes later
 
:::In other words, you knew damn well it was a joke, but you wanted to go on a harsh-and-grumpy riff. To which I--no, never mind. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>20:18 7-Feb-13</small>
 
::::No, I wasn't sure. My bet would have gone for joke, but it wasn't at 100 percent. And not really that harsh or that grumpy, but a good grumpy. If I were the head of a major corporation (and I may well be) I'd hire you as a V.P. in charge of something, so just the right amount of everything to do things here well. And I just reminded myself, I must have missed an episode of a program I like (mental wanderings). My V.P.'s are calling me into a meeting, but I'll keep them waiting a few minutes. /<i>taps corporate pencil on the desktop. tap. tap. tap.</i>/ [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] minutes later
 
   
== [[UnNews:White House releases photo of Obama skeet-shooting]] ==
+
== You still alive? ==
   
I undid your change to the finale, which dismounts not standing but stumbling. What Carney is calling ahead about is that Obama has begun to tell a new tall tale (the zinger with which a good UnNews ends) and so the White House should decide how to hang two heads of trophy "skeets" in the Oval Office. If the point of BigTitties was that Obama was shooting not skeets but dogs, I've tweaked the photo caption to go a tiny bit in that direction and play off the term "Gun Control" as done on bumper-stickers in Bitter Clinger land. I toyed with mentioning that the suspiciously low-flying "skeets" were "yelping" as he fired but couldn't make it fit. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>19:03 8-Feb-13</small>
+
You haven't dropped by for a while! Everything ok? {{User:ScottPat/sig3}} 15:30, July 11, 2014 (UTC)
:Yeah, I first put it up as a joke for you to play off the bigtittie edit, then realized that "Hey, this fits", in thinking that Obama was determined to get some skeets (he'd heard about them of course), thought the two animals playing on the golf course were skeets, shot them, and had their heads mounted and none of his "yes men" would correct him and went ahead and mounted the skeets, and Carney was calling because the story had leaked. I'm laughing now at that scenerios. Great page, and how many people are going to get the "hearing" the school shooting joke from the golf course, a good outside-inside joke. Nice work. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] out skeet shooting, and did you check out the Buddy Rich youtube thing I just loaded on my user page?
+
:I come by quite often, you must be so drunk (again) that you don't notice. I'm standing behind you right now! hahahahahah hahahahaha (cough) hahahahaha huh? [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 15:42 11-7-14
  +
::Oh so you must be the one with the balaclava. Do you travel on this airline a lot? {{User:ScottPat/sig3}} 16:00, July 11, 2014 (UTC)
   
I don't do videos from home, as I have a slow and metered connection by USB suppository to a cell tower 2 miles away. And I am at home, with 3 inches down, 21 to go. By the way, it was Joe Biden who "heard" the massacre from Moccasin Run but, like Obama's autobiographical girlfriend, this UnNews is a "composite." {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>19:14 8-Feb-13</small>
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== [[Preteen slut]] on VFD ==
:I knew about Biden, which is why I was impressed at the twist. I heard those shootings too, from much closer. Damn, forgot about your pic and video thing. Shovels ready, and I hope you stocked up on your quinoa. [[user:Aleister|'''Al''']] minutesl
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I removed your comment: "User HoratioMan seems to have only come to uncy to delete pages he or she sees as child porn ( http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Contributions/HoratioMan64 contributions) but is now going after established satirical pages such as this one. Please give the page another read, delete voters, with the satire in mind. Thanks. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 23:59 9=8=14"
   
== Now you've got numbers like all the rest ==
+
Use VFD to comment on the article in question — as you had done not to disparage other voters or their values. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>01:07 10-Aug-14</small>
   
And those fetters have been removed. No chains for you. Now what are you gonna do? You'll be so much lighter. Think of the possibilities. I bet you could slam dunk a basketball, that's how free you'll fly. Or you could perhaps learn the mystic arts of photoshopping with your newfound freedom? Writer of the Year 2013-27, perhaps? You are literally grasping at the universe's scrote right now. Enjoy it.
+
==Comment==
  +
Spike, please don't do stuff like that. Thanks. Below is the comment I just wrote which I'll copy to the voting page, what I came here to do. My first comment was not meant to disparage. There is nothing wrong with pointing out a short-time and very little posting user's history and see a pattern which highly indicates a single purpose mission, and yes, that type of mission is fine, welcome to the monkey house. By what I think has occurred here is that he has not understood the satire of the page, which is very important to being an uncyclopedian, imnho. I'll explain, and ask him, if my explanation makes sense to the degree of being at least as valid as his, to change his vote.
  +
:Hi. Horatio, I apologize about my last comments, kind of harsh. I was just blowing off steam at what I see as a cultural shift here which hurts the purpose of the wiki. I'll comment about this nommed page as the case in point. The author of the piece is a user named [[User:Miley Spears]]. Please study her page and links. She is a young woman herself, not very far removed from the pre-teen years (at least it appears so), and she wrote a wonderful satire which is a "turn it on its head" satire. The page means the opposite of what it says. She shows us that Hollywood has had a long term run of presenting young girls as sexual objects. That's a history which Miley Spears (and her name itself should give us a clue as to her awareness of society's focus on youth sexuality) - finds reprehensible. That's the theme of the page. To push what they've done into the reader's face, to shove it in there so deep, to show them, from their own disgust, just how reprehensible the practice comes across to Miley. Being a good satire writer she, through the vehicle of satire, is able to make the reader aware of this reprehensible pattern which is seldom talked about in polite society. That's what uncy is for, regarding some aspects of writing, to offer a place for authors to play in which publishes articles like this which serve exactly the purpose that they were written for. That's my personal take on it, and the author, who no longer writes here (a loss to us) may or may not agree with me. I think she would. So could you please at least read the page again from that point-of-view, and see if it at least is as valid as your present point-of-view. Thanks man, and my apologies again. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 3:14 10-8-14
   
[[File:WotY2010redux.png|thumb|center|300px|By the scrote.]]
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== Congratulations! ==
   
Let me know when you need next year's award. --{{User:Imrealized/sig}} 01:31, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
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So I've been following your Hall of Shame progress and now you've made it to the first place and are standing there shoulder to shoulder with Soggy! Very well done!
   
== Thanks ==
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[[File:Fireworks.gif]] {{User:Anton199/sig}} 12:09, August 14, 2014 (UTC)
  +
::Thanks Anton, that's a very nice surprise, and a nice fireworkds display too. Appreciated. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 20:49 14-8-14
  +
:Aleister and Soggy: Two very different writers but both add to the general gaiety of the site. --{{User:Romartus/sig2}} 12:20, August 14, 2014 (UTC)
  +
::More alike than you think (I am Sog's sogpuppet) [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 20:50 14-8-14
   
Thank you for voting for Fred Basset. --{{User:Equilateralperil/sig}} 02:33, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
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== [[Forum:Uncyclopedia Events Planner]] ==
   
==Article Forking==
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Could you, please, help me out with the project or give any comments about it? On another note, I've just recalled a quotation which might serve as an argument in the Preteen slut debate, but I have yet to find its exact wording. {{User:Anton199/sig}} 17:09, August 18, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:I found the wording actually but I'm quite dissatisfied with it, so I'll use my own words (and, besides, the quote was in no way related to the Preteen slut article). The point is that I have trouble understanding how the author can expose the pervertedness of the Hollywood movie makers, if he amuses himself by making up sex scenes that include children at exactly the same time. {{User:Anton199/sig}} 17:20, August 18, 2014 (UTC)
   
Due to my new theory of multiple websites, I now support (or rather, don't oppose) the copying of my articles to other websites, including the fork. --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 19:30, February 10, 2013 (UTC)
+
== A favour ==
:I agree totally. I don't see the harm in the fork, none whatsoever. As long as the two sites don't attack each other, and both stay active and non-vandalized, and if both promote themselves, boom, everybody wins. I don't know why more people there don't realize that and drop their stuff off here as well as come here to keep this site active, extremely-coded with high quality code, and vandal clean ups. And it's good to see you as active as you are! And look what happened with two sites, we have two very good writers of the year and uncys of the year, all of them who richly deserve it! [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 19:54 that day
 
::I would recommend putting all good articles at both locations in case one or the other sites. If one the sites were to spontaneously disappear, the fork will probably go first. --{{User:Mnbvcxz/sig5}} 20:41, February 10, 2013 (UTC)
 
   
== Thanks for the nomination ==
+
Hi Aleister! Could I, please, ask you for a favour? Yesterday I wrote a short article, originally intended to be a rewrite of a page on Uncyclopedia, but which grew into something more. It's currently [[User:Anton199/Controversy|in my userspace]] and I would really love to get your opinion, no matter whether it's positive or negative. Could you, please, read it and tell me what you think and how you feel about it - not as an Uncyclopedia article, but as writing in general? {{User:Anton199/sig}} 09:58, August 31, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:Extremely good, and very touching. I don't check in here every day, so I'm late on this. I don't want to ruin it for anyone else, so yes, I enjoyed it and was touched. Thanks for sharing it. Good writing. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] many days later, sometime mid-next week
  +
::Thank you! Rewrote it again, mostly motivated by your kind words. {{User:Anton199/sig}} 18:22, September 7, 2014 (UTC)
   
But separately, may I not apologize privately to an Uncyclopedian without musical accompaniment??? {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>13:31 13-Feb-13</small>
+
== Halloween already? ==
:I didn't nom you, nor would I ever. My little sister used my computer when I was busy cooking ham and legs. And of course not, this is a nonstop talk page party. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] 13:51 13-2-'13
 
   
Well, tell her she should get Uncyclopedian props for service above the call of duty, as when that large breach in the hull is patched and someone finally gives thought to restoring meal service. Noob of the Month would be another such return to normality. Unicornwhatever comes to mind, for moving beyond a single article and even taking a request from me for [[Reading, England]] with research and a Shoop. Also the guy writing the Howard Stern set. But I don't want to slight anyone else.
+
I see you are working on something here in one of your pages! --{{User:Romartus/sig2}} 07:35, September 3, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:That's an old page I've puttered with for years. Maybe I can get it in shape for this Halloween, that was the intent anyway, the 'maybe'. I added in some at the fork and have to edit-twine the two now a little bit. [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 19:00 3-9-14
   
The next step might be an UnSignpost. I mentioned this to the Chief on 4-Feb, but he has the misfortune of having an actual job with actual hours. {{User:SPIKE/signature}}<small>14:00 13-Feb-13</small>
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==Hallo==
:I dunno if a signpost is needed yet, but if you set up a page I'll write the second article or something. Noob sound good. My sister is begging me to let her use the computer again, said nomming you was just a joke, but I told her that a nom is a nom. She's crying now hahahahahaha. Unicorn hasn't seen my and Funnybony's unicorn section in Tantra yet, or he'd either honor his name even more or fun screaming from the room. [[user:Aleister|'''Aleister''']] FUCK YOU SPIKE THIS IS RUTH STUPID "ALEISTER"'s SISTER. HER REAL NAME IS ROBYN. SHE ALWAYSNIOENF Sorry Spike, you can't let them out of their cage these days.
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Are you doing anything for the [[PLS]] this year? IMNVHO, you should! PLS would be honored to <s>have</s> borrow you, as a participant. {{User:Anton199/sig}} 20:35, September 19, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:Hello, just checked in here after a long sojourn away. Missed the contest, I hope it went and is going well, that's one I'll keep out of for now, putting my uncy energy to a Halloween article which maybe can be ready this year. That's why I logged on, so best get to it, aye. Good to see you, you're one of the guiding lights of this site. Journey forward, [[user:Aleister|Aleister]] 2:16 1 10 14
  +
::But do you know where I am guiding you? I hope you don't. Anyway, good luck with your Halloween article! {{User:Anton199/sig}} 11:00, October 1, 2014 (UTC)
  +
:::I am now expecting a [[Navelism|Navelist]] story from Aleister: . What I did On My Sojourn from Uncyclopedia. --{{User:Romartus/sig2}} 12:08, October 1, 2014 (UTC)

Latest revision as of 12:08, October 1, 2014

Walk into a bar collab
Charles Dickens 3
Thanks for visiting, please sign in:



<insert name here>


Perpetuum mobile
Now, Blast off!
Apecat1

I'm so glad you could stop by.


Aleister & Mimo


edit Special:DoubleRedirects

Your recent renaming has put two pages on this list! Please fix them. Spıke ¬ 23:15 18-Dec-13

Don't worry, I fixed them for you. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:31, December 19, 2013 (UTC)
Thanks SPIKE and Simsilikesims. After I changed the name I looked immediately at the Double Redirect log and it said there were no D.R., so I didn't check again (didn't know there was a time lag). Aleister 10:48 19-12-13

Yup, those reports only run once a day. Spıke ¬ 11:05 19-Dec-13

Aleister you psychopath...no more excuses. Excuses are for Psychopaths. And your name is Aleister. Okay? --ShabiDOO 23:09, December 19, 2013 (UTC)
/ gets new message alert, look at talk page, scratches head, tiptoes out of the room (but thinking "watched half of the movie 'Seven Psychopaths' yesterday and really looking forward to the second half", tiptoes down the hall quietly. And Shabidoo, check your emails. Aleister 12:40 20-12-13

edit Forum:Anon objects to various photos and topics‎‎

Please consider removing that rant. Anon's mind will not be changed (even if he was authentically offended by the photo and not another Darthpedian trying to exploit differences of opinion here), and your invective is unwarranted (and distasteful when wrapped in a Christmas message). Anon didn't make a rule but only called my attention to an existing rule (apart from his other grievances that weren't legitimate). You handled the situation successfully, just don't heap blame on him for making the situation arise. Spıke ¬ 23:57 24-Dec-13

Fine. In the spirit of Saint Nick I'll edit it. But why put up a forum if we can't forum, didn't the Roman Senate itself accuse and rattle when an injustice has been rendered. If someone can justify why a photo of a guy eating a hamburger can stay while a guy eating an arm can't, I say they think they know the difference. Aleister 00:05 25-12-13

This is a wiki and anyone can edit anything. I am only suggesting that this particular edit is at best ineffective. And the topic of meat-eating versus flesh-eating is totally separate from this Anon. It would be nice if you toned it down. Spıke ¬ 00:08 25-Dec-13

It's pretty mid-ground about now, but he objected to a meat-eater and obviously doesn't realize that he's only seeing himself in that picture. I love the picture, as it made a perfect statement, so it wasn't nice of him to come in and try to censor nudes and pictures of his alter-ego. If he was just horrified by the arm-eater, fine, but he lumped it in with naked pictures of people, so he obviously stumbled into the wrong outpost. I have to sign off soon, so Merry Christmas once again. Aleister 00:14 25-12-13
A perfect statement, yikes! But thanks. Stipulated that he was swinging at anything that moved. Enjoy Christmas eve! I should be on-site for four more hours. Spıke ¬ 00:17 25-Dec-13

Much later: I especially appreciated your reason for voting for Paraguay at VFH — in which case you might enjoy the follow-on job, Chile. Spıke ¬ 01:00 1-Jan-14

edit Shooting albatrosses

As you are an expert on swearing in humourous articles, could you, please, say whether my edits of the article Why?:Shoot the albatross made it worse or better? Someone disagreed with my statement that cursing at the end of the article did not make it better. Thank you! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:09, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

In fact, swearing in humorous articles was my minor in college, so I'll reply. Your edit at the end made it no worse, though one might indeed be tempted to swear on seeing a crossbow pointed at him. The swears were gratuitous but understandable. Above, though, "You had to go and do exactly the opposite!" is harder for me to work through than would be, "You had to go and do it anyway!" Spıke ¬ 17:15 3-Jan-14
Ok, thanks! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:16, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
I'm an expert at swearing in articles? What the fuck are you talking about, or are you just blowing your uncle's cum out your ass? OK, just kidding. You have to do it where it works and at no other time. My Second Conquest of the Moon article worked, imnho, when Selene marches. But swearing, like any other use of letter-combinations to create an image, an emotion, or a memory and meme connection in the readers mind and nervous systems, can be used to twist those things a little in a different direction, towards the satirical in most cases. Aleister 17:25 3-1-14
Ok, well, maybe I will restore something. Thanks to everyone! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:31, January 3, 2014 (UTC)

edit A BUTT POOP Christmas!!!! on VFD

The duration of a vote is Admin's call. Given the wide majority to delete it, the predictability of your vote to keep it, and the fact that no other Admin has taken a position at all, I will leave the vote open. You are free to lobby; but you ought not do so in the ballot. Spıke ¬ 14:41 5-Jan-14

It was a comment, and I haven't looked to see if you've removed my comment (maybe another admin will see it and act on it for a change) but if you have, please put it back. Thanks. Aleister 15:00 5-1-14

edit User:Aleister in Chains/Proof of past life on Mars broken on UnNews

This is userspaced. As explained in the Change Summary, this UnNews is not notable, does not read as news, overtly promotes another website and doesn't do anything else. Spıke ¬ 20:37 23-Jan-14

SPIKE this is going too far. An article like this doesn't even graze the border of questionable unnews. --ShabiDOO 20:41, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
If you were blonde and a lady I'd kiss you. Well, a cute lady, and if not I'd at least graze the border of kissing you. Of course it doesn't, and it may or may not be actual news too, which is the fun thing about it. Aleister20:46 25-1-14
Well...you could come over and help me shave my siamese cats. Later on we're going to watch episodes of wheel of fortune I downloaded from isohunt and we will take a shot of apple juice every time a player buys a vowel! --ShabiDOO 20:53, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
I bought a vowel once, but she ran away before I could keep her. Aleister 20:57 25-1-14
The thing about vowels is that they need to be convinced. To be able to trust you. Running away is just a signal for you to chase her. No really means probably. Stop means be bold. You just have to understand the dynamics behind the vowel mind. --ShabiDOO 22:14, January 25, 2014 (UTC)

I've done the best I can by dedicating the Top UnSignpost story to your discovery Al. Feel free to edit it and add bits if necessary. Sir ScottPat (talk) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 07:30, January 26, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks, very nice of you. I'll add the rock "lizard" to my UnNews as well, at your inspiration, and maybe this new one of another spoke creature alongside a little green martian I found on the pic where someone pointed out the possible but unlikely (pixel distortion, distance is a problem with these things) second Spoke fossil. Aleister 15:48 26-1-14
Littlegreenmanandspokecreature
This image is proof that Elvis is alive. --ShabiDOO 18:15, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
If only he were. The Mars images, even if they are just shapes and whatnots, are very interesting to look over. Kind of like google earth street level, but on Mars. Humans really should get a move on and put some people up there, I have no idea why they don't just put the money into the mission and do it. Aleister 4:39 26-1-14

edit Number of views

I remember that you talked about Festivus once and said that the Wikipedia article was getting less views than before, contrary to the Uncyclopedia one. Is it true? If so, how can you find out how many views a page gets? Thanks. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:48, January 28, 2014 (UTC)

It probably has less views now, I haven't checked lately, because people who wanted to read it have likely already done so. You can see the number of viewers of any Wikipedia page by going into the history, look under external tools, and then click "page view statistics". It goes back either 30, 60, or 90 days, and you can look up any month in the pages existence as well to see how many people looked at it. It would be fun if we had that here, but would probably discourage everyone to find out the two people a year accidently stumble upon your favorite writing. Aleister 5:11 2-2-14
Ok, thank you! I will now check this for every single article I read on Wikipedia! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 10:11, February 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit Mars thing

Hey...I changed your news article a little. I injected a second real news element (the jelly donut rock found on mars). I think your story with a touch of the other real news works well. I put it back on unnews so to have it there while this is still news. If you don't like the changes I made I won't be offended at all in the least if you revert some or re-name-space it and do whatever you want with it. That's because I'm your pic-upload-bitch and that's the kitch of shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiet a pic-upload bitch does...I think. --ShabiDOO 04:22, January 29, 2014 (UTC)

Hi, I'll put back some of your changes, just that much of it was off-topic and I had people from ATS come by to read it and it turned out to be very different than what I thought was there (see SPIKE, off-site links work both ways). The jelly donut isn't anything except people trying to grab nothing out of something, it's a rock that flipped when the rover's tire hit it and NASA did a thorough study of it. I thought it's in the name space, so I have no idea what's going on with the article now, and will do more with it when time permits. Like tomorrow. Mars is for losers (or lovers. one of those). Aleister 5:18 2-2-14
I don't care if you keep the changes or not. Honestly. I was just trying to change the article so that the rediculous "non-news" nonsense would be a non-issue which it should have been in the first place. This conspiracy is such gobbledegook. LOL. --ShabiDOO 05:44, February 2, 2014 (UTC)

edit That time I accidentally visited your talk page and left a message

What do you think about UnBooks:My sojourn now? I am not finished yet but I hope it will be some time soon. Will it be fine if I moved your Titanic one there as well? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:04, February 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit Abby Martin

...is back with with her nomination! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:59, February 19, 2014 (UTC)

edit Green Pants

PunkPants01

Sponsored Irish Green underpants. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 17:36, February 20, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks! And I'm glad you posed with your friend. Aleister 14:36 Ides of March-14

edit My sojourn

The only major edits I made to the My sojourn articles were to add the original title in the template and a link to the next chapter at the end. What do you mean by the first article got changed? [1] The point of this book is to gather the best articles together (not counting the introduction, its point is to introduce a storyline). If you don't know what all the My sojourn thing is about, you won't necessarily understand it after one article but you certainly will after several chapters of the book.

You also said once: "[...] I'm winging a lot of these comments, and learning at the same time I'm typing them - so I haven't yet gotten full appreciation of the pages which, I just realize, your unbook can make people do".

The only article I remember rewriting is That time I nearly ran out of loaves and fishes during my sojourn in Bethsaida, but I did not think it was great the way it was and so it was a complete rewrite and not just the removal of swear words (which I don't do anymore). Would you like to look at the articles and undo my changes, if they deleted some of the original concept? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:49, March 13, 2014 (UTC)

And also - will you allow me to move your titanic sojourn there? And the kept VFD page? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:52, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
The original names of articles are now all displayed in Category:My sojourn! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:45, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for adding the names back in. If you look at the history of Chapter One of your book, I forget which Sojourn it is (may I suggest the original one be moved to "Chapter One"?) you edited it from the original and toned-down the first key line as well as the caption. That's what I meant. Of course you can move Titanic there, and I also wrote one on Jim Frekowski (what a great man he is!) your book is proceeding and I think the only concern I had was solved by you putting the original names back in the category. But please check the history of the first chapter, you may have forgotten that you've changed it. Thanks for the follow-up. Al 21:53 13-3-14
OK, I agree that the first one deserves to be the first one and I'll proceed to it immediately! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:01, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
I undid everything I could! The introduction is the same is before and the caption is as well! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:07, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
Looking good! Thanks for the switcheroos, and we should be writing more My Sojourns once your book is done. Maybe a contest? Aleister 14:37 Ides of March-14
My sojourn contest? Nice idea! We should. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:34, March 15, 2014 (UTC)

edit This gif

Deserves to be in some article. Where? But where? --ShabiDOO 10:05, March 25, 2014 (UTC)

Collapse

Not too bad right where it is. But for an article, this deserves an UnNews! Write it up and it will be a classic, or my name isn't Aleister 12:59 25-3-14

edit Feature

Guidebook to the Voting Rights Movement related faces in the cloud. Your entry in the HOS has been amended. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 08:16, March 26, 2014 (UTC)

edit User:Aleister in Chains/Isaac Asimov

Good evening, Mr In-chains, have a look at the above link and the amendments therein, think with a tad more work we might be in a position to move Mr Asimov back to his rightful place in mainspace. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

I have only a faint memory of "saving" this when it was being huffed for some reason (forest fire? vfd?). I'd forgotten I had it. If you don't mind I'll do a quick edit run (which may last for seconds or hours). I once telephoned Sir Isaac because I had read that he kept a public phone number, and asked him how many gallons of water an average body would displace or hold if we could fill up the space of a body with water. He took the time and figured it out. I forget what the answer was, because my purpose was just to talk to Isaac Asimov, so I got to hang out with him for a couple of minutes. Haven't thought of that in a long time, thanks for the memories. I'll go check out Mr. A now. Thanks. Aleister 15:02 27-3-14
Agree that we could do with funnying up the list, think its important to keep a fairly full list on the page no matter how much they are frowned upon, simply because it reflects the actual wikipedia Asimov page so well. Cool story re: the phone call, just be grateful you didn't get to meet Arthur C. Clarke as a young boy... ;) -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Clarke would have shown me the ropes (in more ways than one). I met him when he lectured at my college, and then four or five of us had a "private session" with him (heh heh), well, not that private, as it was public, but only a few took him up on it and we continued the discussion in another room. A guy and I walked him to his car, and years later that fellow and I teamed up to do some good work and only later in life did he remind me that we had met at the Clarke event. Do you want to hear my Heinlein story? (smiley face here). Aye, the list could be better and it will come. My brain is actually working on its own trying to figure out a new section for the page, but you, kind sir, do final edits as, like I said, I'd forgotten it was even sullied with my name or user space. Aleister few minutes later
Wow....you've "done" the Big Three.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Bradbury too. Long story. And I looked at my last edits in print on the Asimov page and lol lol at my own joke book title: "Roll, Roll, Roll Robot, Gently Drown Machine" (robotic murder mystery) . I guess the page is stuck with robot humor, but the section I have in mind hasn't come to mind yet. Aleister sometime later that day
Replaced the first image with something a little more suitable for the great man....also started to fix up the Heinlein article which looked a little shabby...wouldn't it be great if someone organised a central "hub" to highlight all the Sci Fi related articles.... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)

edit Your bitching in that place

Thanks. I had a chat to someone somewhere else about that thing, and he was intractable, so I'm leaving it as is. I'm not fussed about getting that award over there - I honestly haven't done that much over the last year to warrant it there.                               Puppy's talk page08:13 pm 31 Mar 2014

My pleasure. I saw it there as giving you a lifetime achievement award (you won it fair and not so square here), and since the nom was open, and nobody else was nommed, and you won, and then had it ripped out of your hands, I had to rant about the unfairness of it all, it all. Aleister 18:09 2-4-14
I didn't even notice the award nomination or whatnot and stuff on either site. Could either of you folks link that page on the spoon here for me my dears? --ShabiDOO 22:07, April 2, 2014 (UTC)
I do love a nice spoon in the morning... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Shabidoo, you have your lost in clouds. hahahaha. Check out the forums here, somewhere in there. Aleister 20:36 3-4-14
Mhaille, I'm feel satisfied with Asimov after an out-loud reading/edit session while stoned. How does it look? Please edit and play to your heart's content (the heart on the left, not the robotic companion). Thanks for bringing this back into my life /satiric emphasis, then runs away to smoke some more and find food/ Aleister 20:42 3-4-14
Still some areas for improvement, but at least we have something fitting now. It was a travesty that we were without an article for the great man... -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb (talk to me)
Greatest man who ever lived (if you asked him). Please, add and improve to your heart's content. Have you seen the Science Fiction template? It was nice work (I forget who did it but it was a labor of love - love of Isaac Asimov!) Aleister 17:48 10=4=14

edit The bomb accident

Do you think what I added fits? Thanks for your help! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:41, April 9, 2014 (UTC)

Nice additions (I took out the Huskies, didn't know how that fit, and put the narrator back in the back of the plane, where the bomb release was). This can end up to be a really good page. More, more. Be back later, and maybe the KABOOM should be in color or a wavy effect, or a massive link to Wikipedia pages on the destruction of Hiroshima --- giving me ideas as I type thanks, Aleister 13:00 9--4--14
I think KABOOM is fine like that with a large font, bold and italic! Is the file you've just uploaded going to be used in that article? If that's the case,, it's going to make it even funnier! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:28, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
I thought of it but it came out pretty small. Oh, you mean in addition to the top pic? Or do you think it's a good one to replace the top? What were you thinking? I like the way some of the page is coming together, and your additions of some of the formula I'd forgotten. I think a couple of more words and links in the injuries area. My favorite is the "Goddamn it to hell" section header, as if it's both the guy talking to himself because of the mistake he made and an accurate description of the event itself. I knew an old relative who was on the ground in Hiroshima not long after the blast, and my earliest memories of him are of him showing me the photos he took of the city not too long after it was toast. Aleister 19:29 9=4=14
Yep, instead of the original one. It looks very good now! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 13:14, April 10, 2014 (UTC)

edit That time your mom wasn't fucked by Joe Biden during her sojourn in the kitchen last night

Don't you think That time your mom wasn't raped by Joe Biden during her sojourn in the kitchen last night would be better? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:23, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

Hi, you're doing great work on this stuff. The title of the article relates to the category and specifically Joe Biden which was originated here, which was a major part of the beginning of the category and an argument and edit-war as mnbvcxz hated both that category and the People Who Will Not Kneel Before Zod category, and then it became an in-joke and I kept improving the People who.... category (notice the specific photo arrangement of linked photos, lots of them have their heads tilted to the left) and all hell didn't break loose. Good times. How do you like the Christian Bale one now, I've tossed a few things into it. Aleister 12:28 14-4-14
Good work! If you don't object, I'll now move That time I threw my own poop at monkeys during my sojourn in a zoo with gloves on my hands and my eyes closed. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:21, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
Thanks! That monkey sojourn wasn't one of mine, I've only written two originals. Every member should do at least one sometime, a rite of passage methinks. Aleister 14:27 14-4-14
Oh, right! Well, I still won't take the gloves off. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 14:34, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
I've written a piece myself: That time I was attacked by my step-son during my sojourn in Peloponnese. You can judge! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:35, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
Quite good, which is why I'd say keep polishing to make it one of the best of the bunch. The first caption needs the 'fucking psycho' line, of course, imnho. Nice work! Feature a coming (I assume your whole book will be featured once it's in place and a good cover page is added. SPIKE will be itching to do one now, probably something about baseball). Aleister 18:30 14-4-14
Oh, you meant cover page? I thought it was about the book's cover, or an image which would serve as one! Could you also tell me what you think about UnBooks:My sojourn/Prologue, which was designed to be an introduction to this UnBook? I think it could be a good one with a few more edits! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:58, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
For some reason I keep envisioning your book having an awesome cover. Maybe a good tatochopper can work with you to come up with one. Ah, the prologue, I'll read it over later. Thanks for taking this project to heart, but to do so you must be fucking psycho! Aleister half an hour or so later
The last edits were made to the Greek my sojourn I've written, the caption fixed, and do you think it's good enough to be a subpage of the UnBook? By the way, if you want to know what it is about, the article is based on a classical French tragedy, Phèdre by Racine, but even if you haven't heard of the book, I think you'll still understand that the scene is from the Greek mythology. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:35, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
So much polishing of that particular page was done! Do you think my article deserves the place of the 23rd chapter of the book? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 15:25, April 22, 2014 (UTC)
The 23rd chapter of a book is an honored chapter, and, since you may have written the most intelligent sojourn and one for others to try to emulate, nice work!!! That's the level of satire these things could reach if everyone gives it a try. Aleister minutes later

edit A lot of thanks

To you for putting me up for the Writer of the Month award and for voting at the other two! I would like to let you know that I appreciate this very much, despite your money interests! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 19:10, April 19, 2014 (UTC)

Only did it for the money. Nothing personal. But if you don't win all three there will be an international tribunal investigation. A well-earned triple-crown. Aleister 18:47 20-4-14

edit What do you think about this cover?

I edited File:Yak2.png and this is what I got:

My Sojourn cover

Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:59, May 1, 2014 (UTC)

If you need me to modify anything or if you think it should be funnier, tell me! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:59, May 6, 2014 (UTC)
We should T-shirt-isize this! --176.58.213.148 18:44, May 6, 2014 (UTC)
Rh5010aee2
-- Aleister 20:07 6-5-14

edit Well you asked for it

New article no one under forty will understand at Boko Harum --Sog1970 (talk) 18:03, June 19, 2014 (UTC)

Cool. I'll probably miss most of the feelings and imagery as well, wasn't a PH fan, or a fan of many bands. I liked individual singers, most with a guitar and a microphone. So I'll be educated too! Thanks for alerting me. Aleister 18:05 19-6-14

edit Books, UnBooks

Here, I found an old UnBook, written by Skullthumper, whose size is comparable to that of an actual book and to which you once made an edit: UnBooks:The Frogs. I don't know if you are interested, but you once said that you have never seen an actual book on Uncyclopedia. Well, here you go.

On a related topic, could you help me with UnBooks:My sojourn? I made a table of contents page (kind of), resembling a table of contents a real adventure novel might have, and so the project is almost finished. However, there are still two mainspace pages, which I can't put anywhere: That time I was nearly raped by an Oscar Wildebeest during my sojourn in wherever Oscar Wildebeests come from and That time NIGGERS STOLE MY PAGE during my sojourn on the internet. I am still not sure about them. I wrote a message to Mhaille, but he likes his page the way it is, while I honestly think that it isn't finished.

Yours is a good piece, but I don't feel comfortable with the title. Not that it offends me, because I know what it's all about, but I am not sure it's a good choice, even though it summarizes the story well. I know that if it is moved to a subpage of My sojourn UnBook, then it'll be very easy to alter it. Only, I don't know how. Do you have any advice or suggestions? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 16:16, June 23, 2014 (UTC)

edit You still alive?

You haven't dropped by for a while! Everything ok? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 15:30, July 11, 2014 (UTC)

I come by quite often, you must be so drunk (again) that you don't notice. I'm standing behind you right now! hahahahahah hahahahaha (cough) hahahahaha huh? Aleister 15:42 11-7-14
Oh so you must be the one with the balaclava. Do you travel on this airline a lot? Sir ScottPat (converse) White Ensign Scotland Flag 1 Compassrose VFH UnS NotM WotM WotY 16:00, July 11, 2014 (UTC)

edit Preteen slut on VFD

I removed your comment: "User HoratioMan seems to have only come to uncy to delete pages he or she sees as child porn ( http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Special:Contributions/HoratioMan64 contributions) but is now going after established satirical pages such as this one. Please give the page another read, delete voters, with the satire in mind. Thanks. Aleister 23:59 9=8=14"

Use VFD to comment on the article in question — as you had done — not to disparage other voters or their values. Spıke ¬ 01:07 10-Aug-14

edit Comment

Spike, please don't do stuff like that. Thanks. Below is the comment I just wrote which I'll copy to the voting page, what I came here to do. My first comment was not meant to disparage. There is nothing wrong with pointing out a short-time and very little posting user's history and see a pattern which highly indicates a single purpose mission, and yes, that type of mission is fine, welcome to the monkey house. By what I think has occurred here is that he has not understood the satire of the page, which is very important to being an uncyclopedian, imnho. I'll explain, and ask him, if my explanation makes sense to the degree of being at least as valid as his, to change his vote.

Hi. Horatio, I apologize about my last comments, kind of harsh. I was just blowing off steam at what I see as a cultural shift here which hurts the purpose of the wiki. I'll comment about this nommed page as the case in point. The author of the piece is a user named User:Miley Spears. Please study her page and links. She is a young woman herself, not very far removed from the pre-teen years (at least it appears so), and she wrote a wonderful satire which is a "turn it on its head" satire. The page means the opposite of what it says. She shows us that Hollywood has had a long term run of presenting young girls as sexual objects. That's a history which Miley Spears (and her name itself should give us a clue as to her awareness of society's focus on youth sexuality) - finds reprehensible. That's the theme of the page. To push what they've done into the reader's face, to shove it in there so deep, to show them, from their own disgust, just how reprehensible the practice comes across to Miley. Being a good satire writer she, through the vehicle of satire, is able to make the reader aware of this reprehensible pattern which is seldom talked about in polite society. That's what uncy is for, regarding some aspects of writing, to offer a place for authors to play in which publishes articles like this which serve exactly the purpose that they were written for. That's my personal take on it, and the author, who no longer writes here (a loss to us) may or may not agree with me. I think she would. So could you please at least read the page again from that point-of-view, and see if it at least is as valid as your present point-of-view. Thanks man, and my apologies again. Aleister 3:14 10-8-14

edit Congratulations!

So I've been following your Hall of Shame progress and now you've made it to the first place and are standing there shoulder to shoulder with Soggy! Very well done!

Fireworks Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 12:09, August 14, 2014 (UTC)

Thanks Anton, that's a very nice surprise, and a nice fireworkds display too. Appreciated. Aleister 20:49 14-8-14
Aleister and Soggy: Two very different writers but both add to the general gaiety of the site. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:20, August 14, 2014 (UTC)
More alike than you think (I am Sog's sogpuppet) Aleister 20:50 14-8-14

edit Forum:Uncyclopedia Events Planner

Could you, please, help me out with the project or give any comments about it? On another note, I've just recalled a quotation which might serve as an argument in the Preteen slut debate, but I have yet to find its exact wording. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:09, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

I found the wording actually but I'm quite dissatisfied with it, so I'll use my own words (and, besides, the quote was in no way related to the Preteen slut article). The point is that I have trouble understanding how the author can expose the pervertedness of the Hollywood movie makers, if he amuses himself by making up sex scenes that include children at exactly the same time. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 17:20, August 18, 2014 (UTC)

edit A favour

Hi Aleister! Could I, please, ask you for a favour? Yesterday I wrote a short article, originally intended to be a rewrite of a page on Uncyclopedia, but which grew into something more. It's currently in my userspace and I would really love to get your opinion, no matter whether it's positive or negative. Could you, please, read it and tell me what you think and how you feel about it - not as an Uncyclopedia article, but as writing in general? Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 09:58, August 31, 2014 (UTC)

Extremely good, and very touching. I don't check in here every day, so I'm late on this. I don't want to ruin it for anyone else, so yes, I enjoyed it and was touched. Thanks for sharing it. Good writing. Aleister many days later, sometime mid-next week
Thank you! Rewrote it again, mostly motivated by your kind words. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 18:22, September 7, 2014 (UTC)

edit Halloween already?

I see you are working on something here in one of your pages! --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 07:35, September 3, 2014 (UTC)

That's an old page I've puttered with for years. Maybe I can get it in shape for this Halloween, that was the intent anyway, the 'maybe'. I added in some at the fork and have to edit-twine the two now a little bit. Aleister 19:00 3-9-14

edit Hallo

Are you doing anything for the PLS this year? IMNVHO, you should! PLS would be honored to have borrow you, as a participant. Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 20:35, September 19, 2014 (UTC)

Hello, just checked in here after a long sojourn away. Missed the contest, I hope it went and is going well, that's one I'll keep out of for now, putting my uncy energy to a Halloween article which maybe can be ready this year. That's why I logged on, so best get to it, aye. Good to see you, you're one of the guiding lights of this site. Journey forward, Aleister 2:16 1 10 14
But do you know where I am guiding you? I hope you don't. Anyway, good luck with your Halloween article! Anton (talk) Uncyclopedia United 11:00, October 1, 2014 (UTC)
I am now expecting a Navelist story from Aleister: . What I did On My Sojourn from Uncyclopedia. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 12:08, October 1, 2014 (UTC)
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