User talk:Ahadwick

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edit You Are An Unwilling Participant in a Nefarious Competition!

Hello, Ahadwick, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!

Sheepy
Who wants a welcome hug?!?!

You might think that you're being welcomed because you are liked.
Well
You have been misinformed. You are not liked.
Well, maybe a little.
Especially if you made a cake. Did you?
Anyway *clears throat*

The reason you have been welcomed is because members of an evil group, known as The Welcoming Committee are trying to score as many new members as possible to win some obscure statistic. Confused? So are we.

Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the airlock right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Don't forget the big red button marked "EJECT".

Here are a few good links for people new to this psychotic wiki:

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (Button sig) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page.

Consider yourself welcomed. Now get to work! -- ~Jewriken.GIF 22:09, May 20, 2010 (UTC)

edit UnNews:Greece destabilises Europe

Thanks for your UnNews, which has been visited by the Chief and two other users and tugged in a few new directions. A few general notes: If you don't have a real source, you need not make one up; instead, use {{Original}}, as I've now put in your article. And I wish you had conjured up a name for your "official source"--a real news story wouldn't run an anonymous quote. I've recorded your story on UnNews Audio and added your name to UnNews:UnNewsAudio#Other writers whose stuff got broadcast. Add your national flag, if you care. Spıke ¬ 16:43 22-May-10

edit Welcome to UnNews from the Chief

Che Ape
Reverend Zim_ulator says: "There are coffee cup stains on this copy, damnit! Now that's good UnJournalism."

Welcome to UnNews, Ahadwick, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.

I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.

Good things that can happen to you

You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.

What happened to my article?

If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.

Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.

Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?

UnNews Audio

If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.

UnNews UnFunnies

At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.

This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir Zimbuddha Rev. Zim (Talk) Get saved! 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

edit Preview Button

Instead of editin' something sixteen times, you can totally just press 'preview' and see it before savin'. Love, Ethine sig 

edit Award from UN:REQ

Thumbs up2

This user created Brandenburg Gate, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)


Thumbs up2

This user created Pippi Longstocking, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)


Thumbs up2

This user created Calamari, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)


Thumbs up2

This user created Reader's Digest, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles. Good for them us!
(If awarding yourself please update the award statistics)



edit Welcome Back

Just in case you believe Uncyclopedia has missed your return after 2 years. --LaurelsRomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:29, April 30, 2012 (UTC)

edit Nice UnNews!

I put it on the frontpage, great to see Ireland is hell-bent on achieving excellence in all fields! lol. Seriously, these perverts should be hanged. Welcome back, I'm the UnNews manager, janitor and coffee maker. I look forward to reading your stuff. :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 18:53, May 3, 2012 (UTC)

UnNews:Tragic misunderstanding leads to hotel shooting Hahaha, scary how things can degenerate in a jiffy! I made a couple of very small modifications. Nice one! :) Snowflake mini Mattsnow 00:06, June 23, 2012 (UTC)
I decided to put it for nomination on the front page! The voting is going on here! I hope it does fine, it's always unpredictable. Cheers! Snowflake mini Mattsnow 02:09, June 25, 2012 (UTC)
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