User:Zombiebaron/wip/Unpocalypse

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FancyI
n the beginning there was nothing. And then, from the nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened Uncyclopedia spawned all that was good and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA". Aswell from Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:



Dear Reader, Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse, a fiery rain of Hebrews will fall from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more. However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows:

1. Thy first sign of trouble will be the featuring of Euroipods, after this unholy event, many months of battle will follow, this battle later being named "The Rumble in Euroipods". There will be many deaths. However the war will end, and the citizens of Uncyclopedia will celebrate, naming the day of their victory "Victory in Eurpipods Day"

2. Thy second sign of the Unpocalypse will be the conversion of Chronarion to the Dark Side. Currently Chronarion is the all mighty king and general of the Uncyclopedia army. However, shortly after a State of the Wiki Address, he will defect, to Wikipedia, thus crippiling the Uncyclopedia horribly. However, Chronarions defection to Wikipedia will cause a great rejoicing in Wikipedia, and they will instantly pronounce him dictator of Wikipedia.

3. Thy third sign that a fiery rain of Hebrews doth this way come, will be the promotions of the anti-Chrons (Kakun, Nerd42, and Nintendorulez) to admin, all at once. Due to the great gapping hole of funny left in the heart of Uncyclopedia after Chronarion's departure, these three will appear to have immense comedic talents. The effects of these two being sysop'd will be the immediate deletion of Euroipods, Red Shirts an Fisher Price, and the immediate banning of everyone who ever voted Against one of Kakun's "pictures".

4. Thy second to last sign that the end is near will be horrible reskinnings of the Mainpage. With Kakun, Nerd42, and Nintendorulez in seats of power, they will have the tools to reskin the Mainpage in there hands. The Reskinnings will include AuschwitzTheMusicalopedia, Republicanopedia, Christinopedia, IFuckedYourMomOPedia, and PaedoPedia. With each successive skinning more and more users will leave Uncyclopedia's holy halls, never to return.

5. Thy fifth and final sign of the Unpocalypse will be the coming of the grue hordes. With Uncyclopedia's defenses weakened, the grue hordes will come flooding through the unguarded gates spreading strife, famine, vanity, and stub articles everywhere. The will kill the men, and rape the women of Uncyclopedia. The grues will leave in their path hundreds of slain users and admins. The grues will eventually find nothing else to destroy and will recede back into their homeland.

Once all of these horrible events have passed, no one will be left to worship Sophia. This will make Sophia mad, resulting in the aforementioned rain of flaming Hebrews, that will utterly destroy Uncyclopedia. It has been said that if Sophia is feeling creative on the day of final destruction she may also make it rain deep fried fetuses, before the forty days of fog.

      This is the end, my friends. Goodbye.

         The Writer



At the bottom of the page there are pictures, drawn in by someone using an HB pencil. (you can tell because underneath the pictures it says "These pictures were drawn with an HB pencil")

WikipediaChronarion

Underneath this picture in the same 2 HB pencil is written: What Chronarion's Wikipedia User page will look like

Penispedia2

The logo for Kakun's planned "Penispedia"


edit Other Signs that the Unpocalypse is coming

The following is a list of other signs of the Unpocalypse. These signs, however are not all Sophia sanctioned.
1. The Uncyclopedia Potatoes wins the Superb Owl.
2. There is a suicide in the family, and the perpetrator leaves his/her suicide note on his/her user page.
3. The front page is reskined to look like Encyclopedia Dramatica.
4. Sophia dies.
5. The internet breaks in half, and Uncyclopedia is in the middle.
6. The mothership lands, and all Uncyclopedians are carried off, leaving thier baby to die.
7. Wikipedia gives up it struggle for dominance, and resorts to vandalizing Uncyclopedia, the unslaught of Wikipedia users overwhelming the admins, and destroying Uncyclopedia.

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