Babel:666

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the encyclopedia from hell that anyone can worship.
There are currently 30,774 souls in our warehouse.

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Murder · Damned Souls · Angra Mainyu

Today's featured satanist

FancyI

n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:

Dear Reader, Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more. However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows: (continued...)

Recently buried: Todd Lyons - Hindleyite - Suresh - Mhaille - DeathByPie - Hardwick Fundlebuggy

Did you kill...

  • ...Elvis?
  • ...JFK?
  • ...Jesus?
  • ...some Zombies?
  • ...Oscar Wilde?
  • ...Chuck Norris?

In the pit

On this day...

Boxing Day

December 26: Packaging Day/ Useless office memorandum day / The one day women poop. It smells like roses. International Go to the Pub all afternoon and Have a row with the Missus Day

  • The 3rd day of creation - God creates the useless memorandum
  • 0 - Rudolph catches everlasting cold after night out, condemned to permanent red nose.
  • 17 - Jesus recovers from a "wicked birthday hangover" and cleans up the house before his parents get home.
  • 35 - Stephen the Protomartyr gets stoned off his ass.
  • 931 - Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen; when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even;
  • 2002 - Last recorded Vowel movement for God. In an indirect response to this anniversary, God decides to take out His frustration on His rich children every year after-wizard.
  • 2003 - Devastating spongecake in Ham because they owned too many fairy cakes, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2004 - Realising he has nothing to bitch about Bob Geldoff creates devastating Tsunami.
  • 2004 - Devastating toffee in Southeast Asia because they owned too many fudges, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2004 - The idea for Deal or No Deal created on Boxing Day after Noel Edmonds was trapped in a box, the producer of the show opening it and gasping, before thinking 'hey, why don't we do that with something valuable in the boxes?'
  • 2005 - Devastating jam tarts in Central America because they owned too many biscuits, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2006 - Devastating shelves falling over in Iceland because they owned too many products, and some hooligans tipped them over.
  • 2007 - Mars destroyed during the War of the Worlds, because there were too many martians and God ran out of ways to make them pay, but the bacteria killed them.
  • 2008 - Mars destroyed bacause the Bible has no recorded evidence of Martians, and God makes it pay.
  • 2009 - Devastating red hole wipes out universe, and God makes no two pay.
  • 2010 - Devastating white hole wipes out red hole, and God makes no one pay.
  • 2011 - Devastating white hole wipes out God, leaving no one to make no one pay.
  • 6325 - Despite the discovery of the lost pelvis of Richard Belzer, our world still sucks.

Today's featured picture

Zombieche

Note to all world leaders: When the zombies show up, the Marxists are never far behind.

Image Credit: Zombiebaron
Dungeon - Democracy sucks

Portals to hell

Galla Placidia | Barf (rw) | Nirvana | Gensokyo | CHU | Star Trek: Enterprise | Rough Gay Wolf Sex (rw) | Darth Vader (rw) | Samsung | Meco Monardo | Independent film | Jeb Bush (rw) | William F. Buckley | Sens. Warren/Ayotte/Brown/McConnell | Greggs (rw) | Space Shuttle Challenger (rw) | Solar flares | Maurice Ravel | Dudley | Availability | UnDebate:Should women rap? | Banh Shop | Worst bumper stickers | Firesheep | Lava lamp | Ebola | Brick (rw) |


More portals to hell | Most wanted brains | Requested assisinations | Make a stub | Orphans | Soul Review | Try sacrificing a...

Satanist and Imp of the Month

Wotm

Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*.
Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree


Noobaward

The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we
Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.


Vote for Satanist of the Month | Vote for Imp of the Month | Vote for Occultist of the Month | Past Winners: 0/1
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