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Welcome to Satanopedia,

the encyclopedia from hell that anyone can worship.
There are currently 31,226 souls in our warehouse.

Book of Occult · The Big Sixes · Horns of Pan · Kill Todd Lyons · Kroni · Greed

Murder · Damned Souls · Angra Mainyu

Today's featured satanist


n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:

Dear Reader, Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more. However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows: (continued...)

Recently buried: Todd Lyons - Hindleyite - Suresh - Mhaille - DeathByPie - Hardwick Fundlebuggy

Did you kill...

  • ...Elvis?
  • ...JFK?
  • ...Jesus?
  • ...some Zombies?
  • ...Oscar Wilde?
  • ...Chuck Norris?

In the pit

On this day...


Master Magician Carman, prior to the Marvin Gaye incident

November 29: Third annual Day of NEIN!, Spell all 'C' words with a 'K' day (UK High Schools)

  • 1854 - Australians rebel and wave the Eureka Flag. As usual, American government takes all credit from the Aussies.
  • 1939 - Britain asks ze Germans nicely to pul out of ze Poland... but dis ist NEIN day und so ze german public shouts! und so hitler said NEIN!!!
  • 1983 - In a publicity stunt gone bad, Carman decapitates R&B star Marvin Gaye.
  • 1983 - Band Aid release the little known Do They Know It's Christmas? (1983 Version)
  • 1984 - Chocolate rations were increased from 30 grams to 20 grams.
  • 1991 - David Copperfield stuns world by causing Statue of Liberty to vanish into thin air.
  • 1992 - After a year-long search, NYPD gives up search for missing statue, citing lack of cooperation by local eyewitnesses.
  • 1990 - Taking advantage of the 'C with K' day, someone wrote 'KUNT' on the blackboard, and was praised for thinking before being expelled.
  • 1993 - Retaliating against "police harassment" after authorities bring charges against him in relation to disappearance of Queens, Copperfield destroys Manhattan Island with his penis.
  • Today - Someone is throwing a party and you aren't invited.
  • Today - Bob got rob by Dennis
  • 2002 - As a special treat, high school pupils in England are allowed to play Kommanden and Konquer, but not Command and Conquer. When pupils discovered the game only existed with a 'C', there was a mass rebellion.
  • 2003 - Sally Webster and Pat Butcher partake in civil partnership
  • 2003 - Rumsfeld attemps to use magic in order to find WMD. Results are not as expected.
  • 2004 - Metropolitian Police release statement condeming Oscar Wilde
  • 2005 - Oscar Wilde wins high court battle with Metropolitian Police. Oscar Wilde spends settlement winnings on Cocaine
  • 2005 - Snape kills Dumbledore using magic.
  • 2005 - In Soviet Russia, magic kills Snape using YOU!
  • 2006 - Someone will throw another party to commemorate the one-year anniversary of their supreme triumph in having prevented you from attending their party the previous year; this timeyou will be invited
  • 2006 - Dick Chaney made some guy's head disappear. He later claimed that he was trying to make a rabbit come out of his hat but missed.
  • 2006 - A young boy is brutally beaten at school after spelling the word 'Comrade' instead of 'Komrad'
  • 2006 - Triumph, the talking dog, gets neutered.
  • 2007 - Just before dying of throat cancer, someone will write you out of their will for having failed to come to their party the year before last.
  • 2123 - The Magic Circle becomes corrupt after using their 'powers' for brutal mass-murder. The circle collapses... into more of an oval shape to be honest.
  • 2586 - Armageddon.
  • 2587 - Duke Nukem Forever.

Today's featured picture


Note to all world leaders: When the zombies show up, the Marxists are never far behind.

Image Credit: Zombiebaron
Dungeon - Democracy sucks

Portals to hell

Babar (rw) | Whoopi Goldberg (rw) | Ben Carson | Robin Williams (rw) | Smartphone | Bass guitar (rw) | Polish language (rw) | Max Reger | Emo TV (rw) | Harrogate | Color guard | The Wheel of Time | Halo (rw) | Paranoia | Loosie | Panther Tank | Ridley | Zabriskie Point | Amy Rose | Meme | California | McDonald's (replacement from Inciclopedia) | Fred Flintstone (rw) | College kid (rw) | Spinchat | Whatever Happened to Robot Jones? | Labour Party (UK) (rw) | Brandon Flowers | Windows 10 | ZOMG

More portals to hell | Most wanted brains | Requested assisinations | Make a stub | Orphans | Soul Review | Try sacrificing a...

Satanist and Imp of the Month


Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*.
Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree


The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we
Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.

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