User:Zim ulator/archive4

Penis trumps cock shock

Hey Rev, excellent call on changing cock to penis. It's a privilege to be acquainted with a man who knows when to use one instead of the other. Doubtless it comes with experience. ;-) -- Sir Armando Perentie KUN FP 09:07, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

Another one of those thank-you thingies

Thank-you for cleaning up my article and putting it on the little sidebar thingy. You're the best, Zim.It's Mrthejazz... a case not yet solved. 15:47, 27 August 2007 (UTC)

Ban on Virgins

Well Zim looks like the Christian right voted in a 6 to 2 favour to delete my article, thanks for protecting it but looks like the censors won, thanks for your support though, at least someone on here isn't a politically correct pussy. --Uncle J 17:13, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

As SysOP, you may be able to restore it but the Christian right may delete it again.

UnNews:U.K. schoolgirl loses ‘virginity’ court battle; Lydia Playfoot says she should be exempt from school ban on virgins

Oh p-p-please. The article was a wall of text that had little humo(u)r and plenty of erotic fiction. Sometimes being offensive isn't funny. --

Kingkitty ~Fuck you Brett~ ~Die in a fire Favre~

17:34, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

What an excellent opportunity to start a flame war! Let's see... I'l start by being a presumptious, bombastic prick:

zim: Oh, for fucks sake, it's irony, can't you bleeding well see that, you sotting douche!

opponent: Blow me, buttwipe! It's stupid and unhumourous!

et cetera, et cetera ellipsis

My only actual interest at stake was an ironic delivery on audio. Since I'm not married to it, very lazy, not very bright, nor can I hold my liquor, I will stand down as a gentleman, retire from the field with honor, and shoot you in the arse when your back's to me. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:17, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

My crappy article

regarding User:Pashion/BRITISH_POLICE_TEAM_UP_WITH_MYSPACE.COM_FOR_NEW_PROFILING_DATABASE
to be fair, i pasted the title from Word and didn't realise in time that the caps were there and immediately requested an admin change it to normal text. so a bit of constructive feedback about the content would be helpful
cheers!

Zim, this one might be funnier if you were a Brit, I've put it back into play with the caps missing. Also deleted the redirect from the original article that you left in. :) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Thanks for sorting the CAPS out, but i'd still like a little feedback about what was noob-like about the content, I like to learn from my mistakes

thanks

What happened to the "friont page"?

The Unnews "front page" has been showing the same unnews for over a week. Help! I need my daily Unnews fix!

LORD FLUFFY

I thank thee for thy warm welcome to UnNews... but why dist thou give it? I hath not, to my knowledge, contributed to UnNews. --Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 18:48, 30 May 2007 (UTC)

Never mind. --Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 18:52, 30 May 2007 (UTC)

YOU BASTARD!! UnNews on YouTube??

Heh, fuckin' sweet. You have officially inspired me to quit playing with myself and return to writing for UnNews. Ya know, UnNews on YouTube is alot like.....girl on girl!!! YOUR A FRIGGIN GENIUS, YOU ROCK MAN!!!! NOW I'M TOTALLY INSPIRED!! — H. Peebles - D - HS 16:20, 30 April 2007 (UTC)

Yes, I agree... brilliant move, I love it, and that British accent you do is hilarious! -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 20:32, 2 May 2007 (UTC)

I'm not so sure. It takes longer to load than the normal audio, and you don't look like a news reporter in the way you sound like one, which really spoils the overall effect. Previously you thought you were listening to the news. Now you're watching some guy in a hat and beard reading stuff off a screen. --Kelpan 19:04, 19 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks for your input (your wiener) across my "project" (my spincter). Seriously, though, this is good. We need to know the masses have yet to be lulled. Thanks Kelpan. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:25, 19 May 2007 (UTC)

Another thanks

Great work on the "Blair apologises for slavery" article. I thought it was a bit lame originally but in audio it really works. Kelpan 18:30, 29 March 2007 (UTC)

Ditto "Paris Hilton not messiah". Kelpan 15:29, 14 May 2007 (UTC)

Recording UnNews Audio

Hello! I was just wondering 1)What program do you use to record and, 2)Where did you get the intro/exit news music? Thanks! - Prof. Ahh(to the)Diddums^{[FUCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!]} 08:42, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, I realized that after. It was late at night, and I suppose my mind slipped a bit haha. Thanks! - Prof. Ahh(to the)Diddums^{[FUCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!]} 20:38, 26 February 2007 (UTC)

New articles

Greetings Invader Zim. I was thinking you might want to dig my latest news article and maybe do some media for it. Here's the link, this is a good one.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/UnNews:Bush_Creates_Czar_Czar_post

Also, I wrote a pretty exhaustive article on Hemingway but it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere near that featured article spot. Any ideas on how to do that? I tossed it in Pee Review and someone made a one line pointless response and tossed it back out again.

HallBugs

Add this to your userpage if you want to win:

Hallbugs Nominee This user is nominated for the HallBugs 2007 Academy Award. You can go vote for him/her at User:Gert5/hallbugs.

It's at {{User:Gert5/hallbugs/nomuser}}. You are already nominated by Modusoperandi, or somebody like that... --Sir General Minister G5 FIYC UPotM [Y] #21 F@H KUN 09:33, 17 May 2007 (UTC)

A Quick Thanks...

Thanks for all the support and the ninja star, as well as the mention on YouTube. Catchy intro music. Please feel free to make any more suggestions/edits on my articles, because God knows I could use improvement... - jafandahalf 02:02, 21 May 2007 (UTC...?)

All Because of Zim

Folgers Crystals, with audio. Thanks for inspiring me. :) --THINKER 19:01, 21 May 2007 (UTC)

Help with news article

If you want a news article set at a future date to appear, on that date, on the UnNews page, how do you arrange it so you can type the article in advance and the name appears on the day it is set? Sorry if I'm being incoherent, but I would just like to know. Thanks! The Humbled Master 22:47, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

Put these two templates:

{{news|22 May 2007}} {{date|22 May 2007}} (changing the date to when you want them to appear)

at the beginning of the article. - Zaui ⌘ TALK MUN ╬ - 23:17, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks! The Humbled Master 23:59, 24 May 2007 (UTC)

Dunkirk

No, it's not being rerun (it shouldn't be, anyway). I wrote it for release on the anniversary of the Miracle at Dunkirk. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:41, 29 May 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!!

The Folgers brand Folgers Corporation
thanks you for choosing
Folgers Crystals

Your commitment to quality confirms that you are definitely not a pussy.

...for inspiring me constantly, nomming the article, and for being my hero. :) --THINKER 18:04, 30 May 2007 (UTC)

UnNews Chavez article audio

Thank you for providing the audio for the UnNews article. When I used strikeouts I did them to do a stuttering effect which you did in the audio version. It was a great job. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 23:13, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

I've been known to ramble, sometimes

So I go back to the offices for the New York Times, right? And I'm all, "Who's the idiot now, eh?". And they're all, "Sir, we told you before, this is not the New York Times. Place your order or move along, sir.". So I'm all, "Whopper, please.". And they're all, "This is not Burger King, sir.". So I was shocked, right? Shocked that they would make up such terrible lies to avoid hiring me as their Senior Editor of News and Whatnot...a position that they, incidentally, deny having at all. Oh, and thanks for the vote for the Foolitzer Prize. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:21, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

Enjoy the food

User:Mr.Vib has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

User:Mr.Vib has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

The audio you made for my article on Bush made my eyes water from laughing. Thanks!--Mr.Vib 20:19, 6 June 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

Thanks, Rev. I haven't said it before now, and I probably should have long ago. But, thanks for adding your dulcet tones to the blatherings I write and giving them a touch of class. --Zinc Avenger 23:22, 6 June 2007 (UTC)

Usergroups

I added the

This user is Indian. He can only talk in English and C++. (List of Indian Uncyclopedians)

template, but I don't see my link on the list of Indian users. Is the list refreshed every now and then, or is my link automatically added? --Hdgcfcf 01:27, 8 June 2007 (UTC)

And also, how do I create my own signature?

Yo

Thanks for your help. And thanks for having cool scanner software.

--Maharaja Hdgcfcf | | User Page | Talk | Go Kill Yourself 13:07, 8 June 2007 (UTC)

Np

No problem. But in case you need a monkey urgently, feel free to call our Monkey-In-A-Box hotline.

--Maharaja Hdgcfcf | | User Page | Talk | Go Kill Yourself 13:16, 8 June 2007 (UTC)

Just a Small Favor

Yo Zim.

I rewrote this article, 12 year olds invading the internet, and can you please take a look at it and tell me what you think about my revisions?

Thanks --Maharaja Hdgcfcf | | User Page | Talk | Go Kill Yourself 01:46, 10 June 2007 (UTC)

Can I borrow your eyes?

Zim, could you look at UnNews:U.S. military attempted to build "Gay Bomb" and tell me what you think? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:46, 13 June 2007 (UTC)

UnNews & the Wikia Bastids

Hey there mate, if UnNews craps it's usually due to Wikia farting around with something that they shouldn't have been, (except come July when I *really* need to sort it all out) anyway, just ignore their incompetence and it'll go away. thought I'd drop you a (late :( ) message to see how you are and such. cheers! Oli. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 23:10, 17 June 2007 (UTC)

I did an UnNews....

And I wasn't welcomed. Not that I'm bitter or anything..../me slits his wrists while listening to Panic! At the Disco It feels so good! Erm....yeah.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 16:36, 22 June 2007 (UTC)

Ljlego: I think you have to do three UnNews articles before you get welcomed. 'Cause I've done two and I haven't got a message yet either. -- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 20:45, 23 June 2007 (UTC)

In truth, I've been under the weather lately... well, moreso than usual... what with the extra pain, and the extra drugs for the pain... oh, and don't forget my laziness and usual procrastinational bent, so to speak... and the fact that my first major in college was philosophy... and I'm having use my wifes Celeron system for the time being... well, never mind that. Suffice it to say I've fallen behind on my self-imposed, tyranical, and doggie-poo soiled UnNews "duties", such as they may be, and I owe each of y'all an official type welcome. Coming up, chaps! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:22, 24 June 2007 (UTC)

Thanks, my......friend? I don't think that's an appropriate title. Whatever. Thanks.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 20:48, 24 June 2007 (UTC)

Hah! I think I got it twice cos I deleted it the first time. You're just not loved. Either that or your UnNews articles make you look like less of a noob than mine. --Kelpan 22:33, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

Hey Zim, just wanted to thank you for welcoming me to UnNews and doing a nice audio for that UnNews I submitted, about half of which was written by Famine, actually, so you may want to tell him you made the audio as well. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 05:18, 26 June 2007 (UTC)

Hey, what does this have to do with my VFH nom? Also, thanks.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 18:53, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

Another screamer

User:The Thinker has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thanks for yet another awesome audio recording, and the nom (though these finnicky bastards are apparently pretty off-put by it.. what makes an Uncylopedian tick, the world may never know). In my current state of robbery-induced crisis, laughing boisterously is a great feeling. :) --THINKER 01:58, 27 June 2007 (UTC)

Thanks.....

I'm groovy, I see. I'm not sure what prompted this sudden realization (it certainly wasn't my three VFH noms, as you have voted on none of them). Well, thanks for the compliment anyway. You're pretty groovy yourself. And no, this will not get you preferential treatment in the PLS.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 20:11, 27 June 2007 (UTC)

Rest Easy

You welcomed me to UnNews quite a while ago. I just removed it from my talk a while back to bring down the size of the page, when I was still too noobish to realize I could just archive shit later on. Thanks for the consideration though. Fuck up on my part, not yours. -RAHB 03:18, 30 June 2007 (UTC)

What's gotten into you Suzy Cream Cheese? -RAHB 01:23, 1 July 2007 (UTC)

Star

I feel so appreciated. -RAHB 02:18, 6 July 2007 (UTC)

I do rock, don't I? Just out of curiosity, any idea what ever happened to Contestant doing all those UnNews audios? Haven't seen much from him lately. -RAHB 01:38, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

Dunno what happened to Contestant. Folks tend to drift in and out of UnNews, much like the chaotic sensations experienced during an LSD experience while balancing on ones toes. Even I <gasp!> have been in and out of here. In any case, rocking is what you do, yea verily! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:39, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

And it was said unto him this day, in the holy land of Zim, that RAHB did rock. RAHB responded by honorably spamming Zim's talk page with an unnecessary response. -RAHB 07:08, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

Egads! Yet more drivel on my talk page! Cool. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 18:52, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

Thank You

Sonic80 has awarded you a magnifying glass of which you, too, may use to get thousands of dollars, in government subsidies for insect torture research.

-- --_{Mgr. Sir} Sonic80^☭ 16:44, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

User:Sonic80 has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Queen Article

Cheers for the heads up, the site was playing silly arse this afternoon and I thought my submissions weren't getting through. Anyways, I have self-censored the article and think it is now a little less crude (and even less funny) now, which is nice.

Another for you

Here is another for you to read, ponder and declare my brillance over. UnNews:Homeland Security Administration Declares "Gut Feeling" Threat Level And by the way, does all this writing get me a nomination for the Goldstein award? Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 01:53, 13 July 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

Bile Sluggish? Can't Fight the Feelin' Anymore? Prettiestpretty thanks for your vote on VFH UnNews:Homeland Security administration declares new "Gut Feeling" threat level

And for your support! XOXO

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 20:23, 14 July 2007 (UTC)

OK ZIm, This one is for you

UnNews:UnNews Sunday Magazine

We needed one.... Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 02:42, 16 July 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

For the audio on UnNews:For Dummies Author Earns Ph.D. Goodness, it really accentuated how funny I truly am not while simultaneously divulging to the public yet again what a genius with news reporting that you are. Thanks.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 00:21, 20 July 2007 (UTC)

It's also on VFH now. If you'd like, perhaps you could vote on it.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 18:28, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

Thank you

I want to express my sincere gratitude for your audio contribution to my article. It was absolutely fantastic; you are really very good at what you do. I am so honoured to have your audio on something I've created. Many thanks, vyvyan 17:58, 22 July 2007 (UTC)

Up the dirt road with President bush

UnNews:Terrorist cells found organizing in President's colon

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 00:59, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

You won a LAFTA!

You have been recognised by the LAFTA awards committee for your services to Uncyclopedia. Here is your trophy:

Congratulations!

Instant News?

Should this be huffered? --THINKER 19:08, 25 July 2007 (UTC)

Why? It seems ok to me. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 14:51, 26 July 2007 (UTC)

My mistake, I thought the Instant News link in the sources was to .com (indicating a copy artist), but it is in fact .org; sry! --THINKER 01:27, 30 July 2007 (UTC)

Thanks a lot

Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 16:06, 30 July 2007 (UTC) Also, for the audio:

Ljlego has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Skating Priest

Thanks for making it all beautiful. Much appreciated. Pieface 18:00, 1 August 2007 (UTC) UnNews: Skateboarding Priest on Leave has now been reviewed and I guess I can nom it on VFH myself, but it would carry so much more weight if you did. If you are so inclined. You seemed to like it a lot. Oh, and thanks for pointing out the error of my ways with the Mother Cuts Allowance thing. I had my doubts. I thought it was just so very funny exactly as it was written. Won't happen again. Pieface 13:36, 4 August 2007 (UTC)

Wahoo!

Thank you so very much for voting for me in Writer of the Month. While I don't know that you have ever written anything particularly funny, I do know that your audio contributions to the site are invaluable and all around noteworthy. And hilarious. It is, thus, with great pride in my lowly self that I have, indeed, tickled the fancies of people greater than myself. Cheers.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 19:30, 1 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks Zim

Zim, Your Supremeness, Thanks for the work you put in tidying up my stories. Sooner or later I'll get the hang of formatting properly :)

Cheers Philip

Fantastic Audio

Zim,

What a fantastic job you did on the audio for the Cultural Revolution / Olympics story. I'm still laughing. Thanks Philg88 13:30, 5 August 2007 (UTC)

Fermat

Thanks for recording this. It must have been quite difficult to read. One nitpick, I had a furious Professor Poshumous on the line just now. His first name os pronounced "Laid Back". Anyway, for some other amusing pronunciations, see the names in UnNews:Fed up fish fight ferociously. I tried to to convince the German fella to record it, but he didn't take the bait. Would have been hilarious. Pieface 13:55, 14 August 2007 (UTC)

Reminder

You marked RIP for this on July 31. It's, like, all Augusty now. If you want to pass, I'll try it when I get my life in order. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 19:34, 18 August 2007 (UTC)

Titillate

Latin tītillāre to tickle.

to titillate

1. To stimulate or excite pleasantly

I think that if I were bullied by girls in elementary school, and they were cute enough, that would have actually titillated me.

• German: anregen, erregen

Australian Citizenship Test

Hi Zim, thanx for deleting my article! You are a legend!! (chuckles) hey mate, the only plagairization (or however you say that word) is in the first paragraph, the rest is my own work. Could you please restore the article and I'll do a re-write of the first paragraphs so that it isnt a blatant copy of a newspaper article? Let me know asap when its back up and I'll quickly do the edit. Sorry for being too darn factual, its just that I've worked on wikipedia articles and they need inline citation on crap, and here, well, you need none of that crap!? PS, I didn't save the work either so can I get it back?!! ta matey. SH$Insert formula here$--Smilehigh69 00:01, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

Gee Zim, Double legend status to you - not only did you bless me and my name in my talk page but you userfied my crappy attempt at a first article done while high on helium and sputtering boogers all over my laptop screen. I'll leave you with that thought, I'm sure you can imagine that - snot mixed with helium sputtering all over laptop screen, pure evil  :) muhahahaha --Smilehigh69 13:28, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

OK to re-add Australian Citizenship Test back into Mainspace?

Hey Zim, I did the edits, and after a brief chuckle, some happy gas and a brief fight with my laptop power supply and resultant electric shock amidst an emerging lunar eclipse, I think you can give the article some airing out for others to enjoy. Do you want me to put it in mainspace or can you do it? I'm scared :) --Smilehigh69 13:53, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

Hey Zim, off to bed, I re-added into mainspace to save you time, but you are the master and if you still think its shit then kill it and make me your slave :) cheers mate --Smilehigh69 14:50, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

Had to pick myself up off the floor with that Bat Fuck Insane comment. Thats farking funny mate. I hereby renounce my soul for your adoption. Let me know where I can add my insanity to this wondrous piece of crap technology --Smilehigh69 23:47, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

And I suppose it would be a crappy understatement....

to say thanks, but I am going to say it anyway....

Thanks, Zim!

I will learn from my [[mistaikes]] and be better next time.

--Vana 19:59, 28 August 2007 (UTC)

Audio

Zim, I just added my first (feeble) audio attempt to an old story of mine: UnNews_camilla_pulls_out_of_her_funeral.mp3 I can't work out how to get the file size smaller or to remove the background hiss / normalize the volume. I'm using Audacity and would appreciate any tips. Zimulatory Zimulations, Doctor Phil

Audio

Thanks for the kind words Zim. I really enjoy playing with the audio stuff and will be happy to do more. I guess the best way is to mark an article I'm working on as per the original instructions you provided. Good luck with the operation. Best Regards Philg88 23:18, 31 August 2007 (UTC)