This article is part of a series of interviews with the dead, using our patent-pending UnCanninator. The Cabal is planning to infiltrate society with UnCanninator Tech and compete directly with psychics like John Edward and with Scientology, on another front altogether. Profit projections are through the ceiling!
CAUTION Do not stare directly into this audio, nor should you expose yourself to it for more than 10 minutes at a go. This is some dangerous super-secrety-sciency stuff, so be careful and don't feed it to children unless child has a USB port.
If you don't believe any of this, you can bugger off!