User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.

UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.


Religion in UnNews

Oxford Mosque's plan to behead thieves and adulterers 'just not on!'

PROPOSALS FOR THE RITUAL EXECUTION of adulterers in central Oxford have been attacked by local residents as "pushing the cultural diversity card" more than a few steps too far. Muslim elders at an Oxford mosque have said they intend to push ahead with plans to introduce public executions despite fierce opposition. more...


Religion News Quote of the Moment

If Jesus really wanted to, he could shoot lightning out of his hands AND drop a roof AND throw Palpatine down a gravity well...

~ Rev. Joel Osteen on Jesus versus Palpatine

Selected UnNews Religion Image

Schism goat

Whatever this is, it must have to do with religion.

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Religion in UnNews

Apocalypse warning, kittens involved
Apocalypse kitties

HAIFA, Israel -- Scholars at the Institute for the Study of the New Testament made a discovery which has shaken Monotheistic faiths to their core. According to Institute administrator Seth MacAndrew, "All these years, the New Testament was assumed to have been written in Attic Greek. As it turns out, the author of Revelation was writing in Basement, or at most Second Floor Greek. This has lead to a retranslation of the New Testament, and possibly, a new understanding of Christianity." more...


Religion in UnNews

Is Kansas Godless? Or just stupid?
Planet of the apes

TOPEKA, Kansas -- Heretic scientists and godless Darwinist fools were pleased today when the Kansas State Board of Education shamefully abandoned its previously heroic stand against the teaching of evolution in public schools. Their souls are now forfeit, and they shall spend eternity slowly roasting in the agonising acid-fires of the lowest levels of Hell for the amusement of Satan, their master. more...

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