User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.

UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.


Religion in UnNews

Virgin Shark gives birth to Aquatic Messiah
Shark Jesus

Nyíregyháza, hUNGARY -- Recently a shark in a Hungarian aquarium gave birth to a healthy young pup. What makes this particular birth astounding is the fact that she's never mated with another shark. Indeed, the staff have confirmed that she has never so much as been around another male, nor been artificially inseminated. Theologians from across the globe have concluded that this virgin birth is the incarnation of Christ himself, or at least a sign of the Second Coming. more...


Religion News Quote of the Moment

History repeats itself, and so does my wife.

~ Acumen Cornfed, Chancellor of the Bahai Federation on the upside of celebate clergy

Selected UnNews Religion Image

Archbishop clyde

Newly-appointed Primate Clyde "Right Turn" Meninges of the Netherlands blesses the crowd after his affirmation ceremony in Utrecht.

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Religion in UnNews

Atheist Jacksonville Jaguars' lineman rejects the divinity of Tim

JACKSONVILLE, Florida - As faithful Jacksonville Jaguars fans eagerly await the promised second coming of the messiah this draft season, there is one self-righteous player on the team attempting to undermine the faith by outspokenly rejecting the savior's divinity and denying the One True Path to Jaguars salvation. more...


Religion in UnNews

Gods definitive list of sins now available to select Christian denominations
List of things God will judge

CORNFED, Nebraska -- Fresh-faced, young, fringe Baptist, mildly psychotic Jeremiah Malmquist hit the streets today with "Good News" for his fellow man. Reverend Fred Phelps of the Bat Fuck Insane Church of Everything God Hates, received clarification directly from God last week about what He really hates. more...

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