User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.

UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.


Religion in UnNews

Pope praises Jamie Lynn Spears for not using birth control

VATICAN CITY, Prussia -- In a stirring sermon given yesterday afternoon, Pope Benedict XVI praised Jamie Lynn Spears, Britney Spears's sixteen-year old sister who is now pregnant, for upholding her moral standards and refusing to use Birth control when she had sex with her 104 year-old boyfriend, Pugsly Addams. more...


Religion News Quote of the Moment

...those nasty whores with their whore legs, whore skin and whore bulges. Whores!

~ Rabbi Yosef Elyashiv on women

Selected UnNews Religion Image

Chucknorris punchmexicanbaby

If the United Nations has its' way, you won't be allowed to display this Sexual Abstinence Encouragement poster in your child's room. Note the special attention to grammar and spelling in this poster, designed by Nancy Reagan.

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Religion in UnNews

Apocalypse warning, kittens involved
Apocalypse kitties

HAIFA, Israel -- Scholars at the Institute for the Study of the New Testament made a discovery which has shaken Monotheistic faiths to their core. According to Institute administrator Seth MacAndrew, "All these years, the New Testament was assumed to have been written in Attic Greek. As it turns out, the author of Revelation was writing in Basement, or at most Second Floor Greek. This has lead to a retranslation of the New Testament, and possibly, a new understanding of Christianity." more...


Religion in UnNews

Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series

VATICAN CITY, Roma (Reuters) -- The Vatican City Cardinals led by the strong pitching of Pope Benedict XVI have defeated the Tamil Tigers in only 5 games. Benedict, who only gave up two runs in seven innings in Game 5 was relieved by closer Bernard Law. Tigers pitcher Velupillai Prabhakaran gave up four runs and was tagged with the loss. more...

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