User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.

UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.


Religion in UnNews

Virgin Shark gives birth to Aquatic Messiah
Shark Jesus

Nyíregyháza, hUNGARY -- Recently a shark in a Hungarian aquarium gave birth to a healthy young pup. What makes this particular birth astounding is the fact that she's never mated with another shark. Indeed, the staff have confirmed that she has never so much as been around another male, nor been artificially inseminated. Theologians from across the globe have concluded that this virgin birth is the incarnation of Christ himself, or at least a sign of the Second Coming. more...


Religion News Quote of the Moment

...those nasty whores with their whore legs, whore skin and whore bulges. Whores!

~ Rabbi Yosef Elyashiv on women

Selected UnNews Religion Image


Body of Christ workout poster, available at most Christian outlet stores.

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Religion in UnNews

Pope appoints first non-human Primate
Archbishop clyde

VATICAN CITY, Rome, Italy -- History was made today the when Rev. Father Clyde "Right Turn" Meninges was appointed as the first non-human Primate of the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Utrecht, the Netherlands by Pope Benedict XVI. Up until this point, no positions of power have been granted to apes by the Catholic Church.. more...


Religion in UnNews

Reporter permitted one corny story

THE HAGUE -- UnNews was stumped, along with Scientists, to learn of the following incident. ‘New Faith Magazine’ recently reported that a Group of Scientists, headed by Prof. Stephen Hawking, CH, CBE, FRS, FRSA, ETC., decided that, having achieved their aim of Creating Life in a test tube, therefore the idea of a Supreme Deity was no longer necessary. And one of the ranking members was appointed to inform God of His dismissal. more...

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