User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.


UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.

edit 

Religion in UnNews

Military seeks to accommodate all religious faiths

SAN FRANCISCO, California -- Newly-resurrected Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey announced this morning that he will actively assist the Pentagon in bolstering recruitments in the armed forces. more...


edit 

Religion News Quote of the Moment

Show us your tits!

~ Martin Luther on Spring Break
edit 

Selected UnNews Religion Image

List of things God will judge

Sure, I guess Heterosexual Child Molesters are OK...

Main Page

edit 

Religion in UnNews

Papal proclamation to procure profit for prophet

ST. PETER'S SQUARE, Vatican City - Official translator for God, Pope Benedict XVI, revealed His business plan today, at a press conference in the Vatican. The artist formerly known as Ratzinger said that the Archangel Gabriel came to him in a vision and told him that God was displeased with the Roman Catholic church's steadily decreasing profitability and that God's One True Church™ should follow His new plan in order to avoid His divine wrath. Vatican City posted a net profit of $95M last year ($95M gross), down considerably from the record setting high of "half of everything, 10% of everything else" set during the height of Roman Catholic power, or as Pope Benedict calls it "Back when we could do whatever the fuck God wanted us to do". more...


edit 

Religion in UnNews

Is Kansas Godless? Or just stupid?

TOPEKA, Kansas -- Heretic scientists and godless Darwinist fools were pleased today when the Kansas State Board of Education shamefully abandoned its previously heroic stand against the teaching of evolution in public schools. Their souls are now forfeit, and they shall spend eternity slowly roasting in the agonising acid-fires of the lowest levels of Hell for the amusement of Satan, their master. more...



Personal tools
projects