User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.

UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.


Religion in UnNews

Man sues God; is smited

In a bizarre hiccup of the justice system yesterday, John Castman of Lincoln, Nebraska has decided to file an official lawsuit against the Almighty Creator Himself, God. The claim is that God answers prayers, which means he is bound by a nonlegal contract to fulfill them. Therefore, when John prayed for $300,000 one day, God should have paid him the money, working through either natural or supernatural means. The prosecution claims that, since God failed to deliver that sum of money, John is entitled to at least that much, and perhaps more for the personal anguish that not having $300,000 has caused John, a multi-millionaire. more...


Religion News Quote of the Moment

Show us your tits!

~ Martin Luther on Spring Break

Selected UnNews Religion Image

Archbishop clyde

Newly-appointed Primate Clyde "Right Turn" Meninges of the Netherlands blesses the crowd after his affirmation ceremony in Utrecht.

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Religion in UnNews

Bishops warn against Reiki
Reiki peaceful spirit dove

WASHINGTON, USA -- The annual United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, meeting in the US capital this week, has advised faithful people worldwide to avoid the alternative therapy Reiki which has no scientific proof and no place in Christian thought, they say. The Conference is a leading Christian organization, widely known for its popular illustrated pamphlet demonstrating how to minister to persons with homosexual inclinations. more...


Religion in UnNews

Praying pilot jailed

PALERMO, Italy -- A Tunisian pilot has been found responsible for the deaths of 16 passengers after he made the decision to pray rather than take emergency measures when his aeroplane got into difficulties near Sicily. Survivors were left to swim for their lives after the resulting crash, during which the plane broke up and sank. more...

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