User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Latest revision as of 13:22, June 21, 2010

Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.

UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.


Religion in UnNews

Voodoo helping Haiti's quake dead

MIAMI, Florida -- Cuban Co-President, Hugo Chavez has argued successfully that Voodoo should play a leading role in Haiti’s quake relief by returning the dead back to life. more...


Religion News Quote of the Moment

If Jesus really wanted to, he could shoot lightning out of his hands AND drop a roof AND throw Palpatine down a gravity well...

~ Rev. Joel Osteen on Jesus versus Palpatine

Selected UnNews Religion Image


President George W. Bush, center, at the National Day of Napping ceremony, held after lunch, but before cookies and milk and planning the invasion of Iran.

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Religion in UnNews

Papal proclamation to procure profit for prophet

ST. PETER'S SQUARE, Vatican City - Official translator for God, Pope Benedict XVI, revealed His business plan today, at a press conference in the Vatican. The artist formerly known as Ratzinger said that the Archangel Gabriel came to him in a vision and told him that God was displeased with the Roman Catholic church's steadily decreasing profitability and that God's One True Church™ should follow His new plan in order to avoid His divine wrath. Vatican City posted a net profit of $95M last year ($95M gross), down considerably from the record setting high of "half of everything, 10% of everything else" set during the height of Roman Catholic power, or as Pope Benedict calls it "Back when we could do whatever the fuck God wanted us to do". more...


Religion in UnNews

Pope gets new hat

STATE of the VATICAN CITY, Italy -- Earlier today while on a shopping trip with his mother, Maria Ratzinger, Pope Benedict XVI (formerly Joseph Ratzinger), head of the Catholic Church since his 2005 and style aficionado, received as a present a brand new hat. more...

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