User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.


UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.

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Religion in UnNews

Mosque comments taken out of context
Death to everybody

BIRMINGHAM CITY, UK -- West Midlands Police have arrested Channel 4 producers for broadcasting a documentary featuring undercover footage shot inside mosques around the United Kingdom. The producers are being charged for crimes against freedom, alledging that the footage aired showed comments that were taken out of context.

Superintendent Johnson highlighted the fact that comments such as "Cut the throats of the infidels" and "Remove their unborn seed" and "Death to all who reject Islam" should be taken in the correct context, and that Islam is a peaceful religion. Imman Mohammed of the Birmingham City Mosque backed called for an end to this defamatory portrayal of Muslims as terrorists, by calling for "the slaughter of the infidels responsible for this unjust portrayal". more...


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Religion News Quote of the Moment

If Jesus really wanted to, he could shoot lightning out of his hands AND drop a roof AND throw Palpatine down a gravity well...

~ Rev. Joel Osteen on Jesus versus Palpatine
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Selected UnNews Religion Image

Body-of-Christ

Body of Christ workout poster, available at most Christian outlet stores.

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Religion in UnNews

Conservapedia demands proof for the existence of science

JESUSLAND Conservapedia, the bastion of free non-conservative speech, has declared that if it is not provided with proof that science exists, it will launch protests against school teachers and professors for wrongfully teaching mechanical engineering, biology, neurology, evolutionary science, electrical engineering, computer science and all other academic sciences. A Conservapedia will be held later in the month to make a conclusion as to whether science has any footing whatsoever on the rock of faith, or if science is entirely a figment of the sands observation, conjecture, and human reasoning. more...


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Religion in UnNews

Pastafarians celebrate National Day of ARRRRRRRRRRRR
Blackbeard

CORVALLIS, Oregon -- Oregon State University (OSU) hosted the country's largest and only congregation of Pastafarians to participate in the US government's National Day of Prayer celebration. While the Flying Spaghetti Monster and his high-cholesterol suffering followers are still not yet recognized by any of the world's legitimate governments, it is still considered a more believable religion than Scientology and all its stupid Alien DC-9s and Thetan crap. more...



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