User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.


UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.

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Religion in UnNews

Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!
Coma CHV

Malmö, Sweden -- Roman Catholics (and everything else) have been flocking to the South of Sweden, where local Ikea™ fat pack designer Lars Larson went into a coma three days ago, and began prophesising the return of all humanity’s saviour, after an almost two millennia break from the music industry. more...


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Religion News Quote of the Moment

History repeats itself, and so does my wife.

~ Acumen Cornfed, Chancellor of the Bahai Federation on the upside of celebate clergy
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Selected UnNews Religion Image

BushprayerPH2007050302173

President George W. Bush, center, at the National Day of Napping ceremony, held after lunch, but before cookies and milk and planning the invasion of Iran.

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Religion in UnNews

Indian cult comes under fire from government
Eggplant 0211

NEW DELHI, India-- The Indian government is so mad it's seeing purple. Baingan Bharta, a popular cult leader, has faced ruthless questioning from officials all the way up to Prime Minister Manmohan Singh about the ethics of the Religious Order of the Eggplant, a religion Bharta began about two years ago. more...


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Religion in UnNews

Respected theologians call for return to wife beating
Beat wife

DEEP SOUTH, America -- Pastor Rick Warren, founder of Saddleback Church, a controversial Christian Fundamentalist Ministry that uses mind control and hyena blazing to keep converts in line, has been paraphrased as sort of saying, "Abused, "Miserable" Women Have "No Right" to Divorce". This ridiculous claim has been made by left-wing, artsy homosexuals who don't realize they're going to Hell. more...



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