User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.


UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.

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Religion in UnNews

Tacoma tries rap music to chase Jehovah's Witnesses from bus stops
Dreandeminem

TACOMA, Washington (AP) - Believing that rap music and religion don't mix, Tacoma authorities have come up with a radical plan to remove soliciting Jehovah's Witnesses from city bus stops. Speakers are being installed in the city's malls and buses which will blast rap music from artists such as Dr. Dre, Eminem, and Snoop Dogg. For years Tacoma's malls and public transit system have been plagued by Jehovah's Witnesses soliciting passengers and distributing religious propaganda. The city came up with the plan after the numerous complaints from city residents of being verbally abused and threatened with Hell if they didn't convert. ATTENTION THIS ARTICLE IS SO INACCURATE... Jehovah's Witnesses don't even believe in Hell as a place of torment... Just thought you should know from a guy who edited this absurd article. Most of the complaints were not serious and only regarded the Witnesses as a nuisance but a few residents cited public safety concerns as their biggest complaints against the Witnesses. more...


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Religion News Quote of the Moment

History repeats itself, and so does my wife.

~ Acumen Cornfed, Chancellor of the Bahai Federation on the upside of celebate clergy
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Selected UnNews Religion Image

Acp israel w600
Land is terribly important to the religious.

Main Page

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Religion in UnNews

Chuck Norris on secularism: the single greatest threat that America has ever faced
Cnorrishead

Uncyclopedia is proud to present an exclusive, never before published column by Chuck Norris, founder of the Chun Kuk Do school of Tang Soo Do Chopsocky, as well as wearer of the 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master in Tae Kwon Do, another of indeterminate color for Machado Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, rainbow suspenders for Tai Chi and a white apron in Tex-Mex cooking. Known as "the Bruce Lee of martial arts movies", he starred in films like Missing in Action (1984), Missing in Action II: The Missing Strikes Back (1985), and Missing in Action III: Return of the Missing (1988) before playing a Texas Ranger named Walker on the TV series Walker, Texas Ranger (1993-2001). He is also the author of The Justice Riders, a novel about justices who justly dispense justice, guided by their Conservative Christian worldview (the bedrock principles on which America was founded by the Founding Fathers, who founded America on the bedrock foundation of Conservative Christian principles), as they ride. more...


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Religion in UnNews

Latest Bible sequel sales disappointment
Bib3

NEW YORK, New York -- Nearly six months after its high-profile release, "The Bible III" is still lagging far behind initial sales projections, say publishers, Gog and Magog. The Bible III, latest installment of the wildly popular Bible series, takes up where The New Testament left off, and continues the adventures of its hero, supernatural demi-god, Jesus Christ, as he travels to India to do battle with an assortment of bad guys and half-human creatures. more...



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