User:Zim ulator/UnNews Religion Section model

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Jesus on raptor
Welcome to UnNews Religion Section.

Spirituality in the news.

UnNews takes a dim view of religion, especially those which practice old time rituals like "Hyenamancy". That being said, spirituality is an bottomless well of humor. George W. Bush, the Pope and Westboro Baptist Church get their fair share of ribbing here. Not to be too discriminating, we extend our wit to all faiths and cults, whackos and nutjobs, the saintly and the blasphemous. Your cross to bear, dear reader, is the occasional fact sprinkled among this journalistic gem store, and for this, we apologize.


Religion in UnNews

Heavens rejoice as Dow surpasses 14,000

NEW YORK, New York -- Praise be thee, New York Stock Exchange, as your Holy Dow Jones Industrial Average surpasseth the 14,000 mark, raising its glory to God, Almighty, and bringing to all of Earth peace and happiness unbounded! Verily, as thy average hath risen, much as the Son of Man, Jesus Christ, from his death, so has abundance and prosperity in the land increased 14 thousand-fold. more...


Religion News Quote of the Moment

Meh... I'll worship just about anything.

~ anonymous Druid on what to worship

Selected UnNews Religion Image


You'll never sleep through another Apocalypse with the new Raptu-lert Rapture Early-warning Detection System.

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Religion in UnNews

Bishops warn against Reiki
Reiki peaceful spirit dove

WASHINGTON, USA -- The annual United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, meeting in the US capital this week, has advised faithful people worldwide to avoid the alternative therapy Reiki which has no scientific proof and no place in Christian thought, they say. The Conference is a leading Christian organization, widely known for its popular illustrated pamphlet demonstrating how to minister to persons with homosexual inclinations. more...


Religion in UnNews

Dude with Bob Marley sticker ignorant of Marley's beliefs
Jesus allpurpose

NO. CONWAY, New Hampshire -- With the death of screaming insane super-salesman Billy Mays yesterday (see UnNews:Billy Mays' Head Explodes), Jesus made a hostile bid for the Oxiclean Corporation this morning for 17 trillion dollars and free passes to Heaven for existing employees. Industry analysts are saying this may be the boost that will get Jesus back into the mainstream of America. more...

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