User:Zim ulator/Small god climbs into percolator, makes great coffee

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Zim ulator/Small god climbs into percolator, makes great coffee

Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?

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Wednesday, February 10, 2016, 09:10:59 (UTC)

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25 January 2011


Auntie Christ.

THE INTERNET -- Coffee was delicious today, despite the fact that it, "smelled as though a small dog had climbed into the percolator", according to sources inside the Kremlin. Water bears previously exposed to open space for twenty four hours were reanimated today by enthusiastic frog extremists.

Meanwhile, nonexistent Cabal members today witnessed a supernatural act while gathered to further the heathen agenda as stated in the Uncylopedian mission statement.

During filming, Mr. Gibson was seen with a Dremel tool down his pants, presumably in an effort bring attention to the plight of Israel and the Zionist conspiracy. Efforts to suppress bat fuck howitzer fire in the direction of Haifa forced a move by British Petroleum (formerly Anglo-Persian) to work closely with the CIA to redepose the Shah.

Corpse reanimation consultants from Halliburton and Psychic Chicken Associates were brought in last week to study the feasibility of such action, in light of the recent United Nations ban on the resurrection of royalty.

Dick Cheney had nothing to do with any of the above, except to say that his Halliburton dividends continue to pay out.

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