User:Zana Dark/UnNews:Studies show that this study is false
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|This article is part of UnNews||Who knew The Onion® had a retarded stepbrother?|
23 November 2007
A new study has been conducted to see if said study was false. As it turns out, it is, in fact very, very false. Every single thing said in this study is a lie, including this very sentence. It turns out that most people actually think that this study is true, but it isn’t, it's all lies. There have been numerous logged complaints saying that our study is very confusing, however, it is really quite simple.
|All that anyone needs to know about this study is that it is false.|
This study shows that ninety-five percent of people do not like this study, as it is too confusing. The other thirty percent never even finished it, as their brains were too fried from the sheer impossibility of such a study to continue reading it. It is interesting to note that of the larger percentage, seventy-five percent read it twice before deciding to read it again, and on the third time around, they possibly stopped and thought to themselves that this story may actually be true, but it is not, I assure you. Everyone that's anyone knows that this study is false and confusing, and there is no use in arguing about it so just STFU right now.
This study is completely false; therefore, you shouldn’t read it, as your head might explode. Side affects of reading this study may include, but are not limited to; Cancer, Severe Cerebral Hemorrhage, Stroke, Heart Attack, loss of hair or limbs, and, in some cases, a minor cough. Again, it is strongly advised that you do not read this study. If you have already read to this point, please consult your local psychiatrist immediately. There are sure to be health risks involved in reading this study. This study is thus undoubtedly false, and you are being forced to stop reading it right now, as it is ending here.