User:Zana Dark/…·°º•ø®@»
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
 Welcome to Uncyclopedia! This ain't your mom's Wikipedia — ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME... ~ Zana Dark
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 | I've Been Thinking Lately...
And I think you should try it. Think about it. It makes sense. |
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 | The Dildos |
| Banana | Cigar | Cucumber | Dildo | Dildo of Doom | Dildo plantation | Penis | Vibrator |
 | Bacon Products |
| Bacon | Bacon fat | Bacon Shrub | Baconated Grapefruit | Choco-Butter-Cheez-Bac'n Pops | Pork Products | Pigs | Canadian Bacon | |
| People Named Bacon | |
| Richard Bacon | Kevin Bacon | |
| All things Bacon | |
| Bacon's Rebellion | Bacon and Cheese Sandwich of 1905 | BLT |
I ain't Ja Mama, I ain't ya Sistah, I ain't ya Grand Mammy neither!
I am Aunt Jemima and I coined that 'ol SOB!!
Fo shizzle my nizzle Snoop Dogg ain't got nothin' on me!
 | The 12 Fundamental Cheeses | ||||
| Cheddar
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| Cream
| Fromunda
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| Holy*
| Jarlsberg
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| *Not to be confused with "Holey" Cheese | |||||
| The 3 Noble Cheeses | |||||
| *Also known as "Negative Cheese" or "Dark Dematta" | |||||
 | People named "Captain" |
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America - Autofellatio - Beefheart - Bligh - Britain - Canada - Caveman - Communist - Hook - Irrelevant - Jack Harkness - Janeway - Kirk - Knuckles - Marvel - Morgan - Oblivious - Obvious - Planet - Raccoon - Selfish - Sisko - Slow - Video |
 | Divinatory Arts and Artists |
| Antropomorphing | Astrology | Augury | Ball gazing | Clairvoyance | Dice | Fortune cookies | Ghostly Seers | Magic 8-Ball | Monopoly | Necromancy | Negromancy | Nostradamus | Numerology | Palmistry | Phrenology | Precognition | Prophecy | Psychic | Scatomancy | Tarot | Telepathy | Wiccans |
 | All Things Sausage | |||
| Other Sausage Related Things | ||||
They should be very proud of themselves for that.
 | Let Me Tell You Something, Pendejo -
You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click." |
| :: THE RANDOM POSTCARD :: |
| Line1 Line2 -sigLine |
| :: WOW :: |
| I banned Zana Dark and all I got was this lousy template. |
 | All About Facial Hair |
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Beard ~ Bearded dragon ~ Beardism ~ False Moustache ~ Fu Manchu ~ Goatee ~ Moustache ~ Moustache-o-meter ~ Mustaches of Legend ~ Sideburns ~ Unibrow | |
| Famous People with Famouser Facial Hair | |
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Abraham Lincoln ~ Blackbeard ~ Frank Zappa ~ Freddie Mercury ~ Frida Kahlo ~ Friedrich Nietzsche ~ John Bolton ~ Karl Marx ~ Sal Fasano ~ Salvador Dalí ~ Wilford Brimley ~ ZZ Top |
| SLOTH LOVE CHUNK! |
| This article is better than Rocky Road ice cream! BEWARE: Any attempts to edit this article may result in a prompt ass-kicking. |
 | The Neon Blue Poop Award You voted my article I was so enamored, I ate an entire bottle of blue food coloring to celebrate! Thanks for letting me share my crap with you! -Zana Dark |
 | Thanks for voting for me!
First the Goldstein, next Queen of UnNews!
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 | The Golden Monkey Award
You are hereby awarded the Golden Monkey Award for your outstanding contributions. I laughed so hard at your articles, I made this just for you!
Thanks for making Uncyclopedia funnier. |
 | Jolly Black Santa's Christmas Wish
I am sure there are many guys who are bored and horny. Maybe you are on vacation and didn't go home for the holidays. Maybe you are married, or bi, or just plain curious about being with a guy. Maybe you are tipsy and feel adventerous. Anyway, I am here alone, a 42 yo JBS, two hundred and eighty-five pounds, 5'9", from the South Pole. Age, race, experience level not important; I am only looking for a good time. If you're serious, let's talk. No games.
Wishing you and yours a Happy Holidays and a Zana Christmas, |
 | Your inner uterus says thank you!!!
For voting Frida Kahlo
 good enough to be highlighted on the front page...
Muchas Gracias, Muchacho! ~ Zana Dark (and your Inner Uterus)
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| Better late than never... (and just in time for xmas!)
Way back in the day you voted Jesus stole my girlfriend
good enough to highlight on the front page!!!
Even though it's been a few months, your vote was appreciated! Please accept this velvet painting as my belated gift to you. ~ Zana Dark
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 | You Know, Butter makes everything better!!!
Happy New Year! To celebrate, I should write a special memoir or magnum opus, full of hindsight from the past year, demonstrating my growth as a writer. Butt yeah, that doesn't sound like me. Instead, I will continue to write things like I Am the Walrus and Mr. Peanut. That is just how I roll.
Thanks for voting the Holiest Substance on the Planet good enough to feature!
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 | Supplies Limited! ACT NOW!!!
For just $39.95, you can create your own most memorable vagina flashes with the Lindsay Lohan Exposed Vagina Figurine safe in the privacy of your own home.
Hurry and get yours today! (Pie not included) Thanks for voting the Crotch-Flashing Guidebook good enough to feature!
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 | The Walrus = McCartney or Lennon?
With epic 'staches like these, who knows? It could have been any one of the Beatles. Thanks for voting I Am the Walrus good enough to feature!
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| This story is currently being recorded as an audio file by Zana Dark. Please make necessary edits only. |
| I sound professional and stuff! |
| This is a promotion paid for by the Uncyclopedia Legal Department. You are hereby awarded the two-cent piece: ( 2 | ¢ ) For your invaluable contributions to Uncyclopedia. This coin is very precious to me... Congratulations! |
And Others':
 | This article is BS. Quit fucking around and please add some actual "content" to it. |
 | Job Well Dude... Your rug really tied this |
| Pie Award
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