User:Yuri von Juan/Works In Progress

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edit Chernobyl

“I got a tan on holiday there once. My skin turned green.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Chernobyl
“I'm not a fan of shrimp! If you are going to partake of seafood its King Prawn all the way....”
~ Noel Coward on Shrimp in Chernobyl

Chernobyl is a location in Russia which is known for it's shrimp export industry.

edit History

Chernobyl was once capital of the world, during the reign of Terminator and was also used as a giant laser beam catapult by Zeus. It is particularly known for its industry of fireworks, which has really taken off recently, somewhat like Chuck Norris.

edit Industry

Evilshrimp
One example of the mutant shrimp of Chernobyl. Note the fact that it is no longer life-like at all.
Hitlershrimp
Another example of the mutant shrimp. Note the moustache.

As well as relying on brainless tourists for the town's income, they are also famed for exporting shrimp. The production of fireworks nearby has, it has been claimed by environmental activists, led to the mutations in shrimp these recent years. Such claims, have, of course, been refuted. The disappearances of shrimpfarmers is purely coincidental. Actually, there was one case where it was authenticated that a mutant shrimp mauled someone, but that case was never authenticated.

Stop complaining! Fine! I'll tell you!

edit The Case Of Some Guy Who Got Mauled By A Mutant Shrimp Versus The Shrimp That Mauled Him

Since you were so insistent, by which I don't mean that you knelt on my throat, I shall tell you he tale of The Shrimp Who Was Sued. Where's my guitar, oh, thanks. Right.

There he was, right, the whole vast empty whiteness glowing red in the glow of the glowing nuclear farms in front of him, right, when suddenly, this horrible mutant shrimp comes out of nowhere and rips his arms off! Unfortunately, the man whose arms the shrimp ripped off was...Darth Vader! Darth Vader used the force to cripple the mutant shrimp, but then the shrimp ran away despite being crippled. It was probably because it was a mutant, but you never know.

The next day, Darth Vader got a phone call from the Chernobyl High Court, asking him to attend a lawsuit between the giant shrimp he had crippled and himself. of course, he had to attend.

Darth vader lost the case, because he had crippled the shrimp, while he shrimp had only ripped off arms that he had already lost, therefore, not really doing nything to him and Darth Vader had to be the shrimp's love slave for about twelve seconds.

There you have it. The tale of Darth Vader Versus the Shrimp. Back to Chernobyl.

edit Local Sights-To-See

Nuclear fireball
One of Chernobyl's many nuclear farms. Beautiful, isn't it?

The nuclear farms are an important part of Chernobyl's tourist industry. They attract lots of tourists. Hence the fact that they are part of the industry, which is, in fact based on tourism. The nuclear farms have grown in recent years as tourism has swollen, which in turn means that the tourist industry must grow, therefore attracting more tourism. What was I saying?

edit Related Crap

edit Unrelated Crap

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