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So you wanna know a little more about the Family business, huh? Bueno. Questions are good, unless-a you're an empty suit. You're not an empty suit, are ya? Good! This family business-a is here for a group of us to shoot-a people and have-a fun. The best-a part of it is, though, no one can arrest us, cause we're the Mafia. So why dunna ya sign up, huh? It'll be fun...and there's all the members only a-privileges! Make an old man with a-gun happy, eh?

We divide the business into two-a groups, the Russian branch and the Italian branch. Both are different-a - the Italian is more about the good-a things in life, the gambling and the playing and the Mafia honour, the Russian branch, however is more about violence, killing, sex and drugs. Which-a suits you, eh? I wonder...

Everyone-a gets a nickname when they join - that's how we Mafia people work-a. I like the people I know to have a-nicknames, or they find themselves a-getting a clipping. Nicknames are so much more familiar, like. You know what I mean-a? Huh? Bueno.

The Mafia Pledge:

The Uncyclopedia mafia hereby declares its intention to be a family business dedicated to welcoming, socialising with and being friendly to new users, in an attempt to integrate them into the Uncyclopedia community, offering help to any Uncyclopedia user who wants assistance and looking to promote merriment within the Uncyclopedia community. Members of the Uncyclopedia mafia will be committed to working in accordance with these three objectives.

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