User:YesTimeToEdit/mafia/enrol

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(Well it's about damned time I do this... been scoping out your little "organization" for awhile now.....)
 
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:''Hello, Mr. Times! You are looking for an opening in the business? Well you're '''in''' - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name-a. I think you shall be a '''Mr. Fedor "Happy" Times'''. Welcome-a to the Family. You shall be granted the rank of '''Naemnyj Uijca/Hitman (Наемный уийца )'''. <br /> Yours sincerely, [[User:YesTimeToEdit|<font color="black">Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie</font>]]''.
 
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{{u|Happymonkey39}} {either you let me in, or I let you say 'ello to mah litta friend!}
 
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:''Hello, Mr. Monkey! You want a part in our humble little Family business? Well you're '''in''' - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name. I think you shall be a '''Mr. Dante "Thirty Nine" Monkey'''. Welcome-a to the Family. You shall be granted the rank of '''Capodecina (Capo)'''. <br /> Yours sincerely, [[User:YesTimeToEdit|<font color="black">Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie</font>]]''.
   
 
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Latest revision as of 10:15, August 22, 2010

UncycMafia


Ah! So you-a wanna enrol? Ah, good decision, buono, buono! I'm-a sure that-a the Mafia - the Uncyclopedia Mafia - is the place-a you should waste your life. I hope-a you enjoy your time with us, Mr. <insert name here> - ah, we'll have to do something about that name of yours, huh? Nah, it is not-a your fault that your parents were hapless, wannabe hippies steeped in self-a-loathing. If you sign-a, you can have a plate of this delicious-a crab, huh, you like?

So first-a, you must-a decide whether you wanna join the Russian or Italian branch. It's a question of style, they have different ranks and the like-a. Personally, I prefer-a the Italian branch - the stylish branch. However if you like more of teh drugs, violence and sex then maybe you're-a more Russian branch? Make your decision and sign under-a the right coloumn. Someone will be along to give you everything you need-a-very shortly.

All members are encouraged to nail {{Mafioso}} to their userpage!

Russian Branch Italian Branch
Prijatno poznakomitsa, ya big dumpshit, do me a favour and enrol, that way I won't have to waste my bullets.

=HEX=

Hello, Mr. Hex, nice to meet you. So you want to join our little crime syndicate, huh? Well, you're in - but we're going to have to think of a nickname for you, Mr. Hex. You will now be known as Mr. Lavrenti "Digits" Hex within the Family. Welcome aboard, you've been assigned the rank Rukovoditel/Chief (Руководитель). Your boss is Mr. John "Fifty-Seven" Orian.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

User: Colin "All your base" Heaney

Hello, Mr. Heaney, nice to meet you. So you want to join the Family, huh? Well, you're in - and it seems your name is already perfect for use within Family circles. Welcome aboard, you've been assigned the rank Rukovoditel/Chief (Руководитель). Your boss is Mr. Iosef "Fifty-Seven" Orian.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Nacky

Hello, Miss. Nacky, very nice to meet you. So you're interested in joining the Family of crime? Well you're in - and you're our first...er...what's-it-called...female Mafioso. We're going to need to sort that name of yours. From now on you shall be called Miss. Aleksandra "Flairs" Nacky. You've been assigned the rank of Rukovoditel/Chief (Руководитель). Your boss is Mr. Iosef "Fifty-Seven" Orian.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Sean

Hello, Mr Sean. I must-a apologise for letting you wait out here so long! I will personally give you nice-a flowers on your talkpage. So, you want to join our little crime syndicate? Well, you're in. We'll need to give you a proper Mafia-like name, see? I think we shall call you Mr. Isaak "Wiry" Sean. You've been assigned the rank of Naemnyj Uijca/Hitman (Наемный уийца ). Your boss is Miss. Aleksandra "Flairs" Nacky.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

The Dark Prince

Hello, Mr. Prince. Do you mind me calling you Mr. Prince? Do you prefer Mr. Dark? Anywho, you're in, and it seems an official Mafia-like name is in order. We'll call you Mr. Nikolai "Dark" Prince. You've been assigned the status of Prixvosten/Henchman (Прихвостень). Your boss is Miss. Aleksandra "Flairs" Nacky.
Sincerely, Mr. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum
.

Geoff Prickett

Hello and good day, Mr. Prickett. Or should I say Mr. Prickett the Mafioso! (or something) You know why? Because you're in, and your new Mafia-type name shall be Mr. Sergei "Geo" Prickett! I hope you like it! Also, you've been assigned the rank of Prixvosten/Henchman (Прихвостень). Your boss is Miss. Aleksandra "Flairs" Nacky. Sincerely, -- MafiaHatBlack.gif C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum

Naughtyned (My ancestry is half-Italian, the other half being Irish, just like GoodFella Henry Hill but the "drugs, violence and sex" comment convinced me I belong in the Russian branch.)

I hope can forgive the late reply, Mr. Ned. I've had a lot of business to take care of. Now then, you're in, and your Mafia-like name will be Mr. Vladmir "Mischievous" Ned. You'll start off as a Prixvosten/Henchman (Прихвостень), and your boss is Miss. Aleksandra "Flairs" Nacky. Sincerely, -- MafiaHatBlack.gif C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum

DJ Gentoo (Golf course? Sweet!)

Enthusiastic, I see! I like that. Well, you're in Mr. Gentoo, or should I say Mr. Yuri "Deejay" Gentoo You'll start off as a Prixvosten/Henchman (Прихвостень), and your boss is Miss. Aleksandra "Flairs" Nacky. Awesomely, -- MafiaHatBlack.gif C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum

Bomb

Hello, Mr. Bomb! Very nice to finally be aquatinted with you. Now, you're in, and your Mafia-like pseudonym shall be Mr. Joey "Asplode" Bomb; you'll start out as a Prestupnik/Criminal (Преступник), and your boss will be Miss. Aleksandra "Flairs" Nacky. Awesomely, -- MafiaHatBlack.gif C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum

MNM5150

Hello, Mr. M. N. M. So you want in on the Mafia? Well you've got in - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name. I think you shall be called Mr. Vladamir "Eminem" M. N. M.. Welcome-a to the Family. You've been assigned the rank of Prestupnik/Criminal (Преступник). Your boss will be Miss. Aleksandra "Flairs" Nacky.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Nathan X42

Hello, Mr. Nathan. You want to join the mafia? Поздравляю, you're in - and in organized crime you need an organized name, so you shall be known as Maxim "Forty-two" Nathan. You start off at the rank of Prestupnik/Criminal (Преступник). Your boss will be me.
Искренне, Mr. Lazar "Meth" Jasper

Thatdamnedfollowspot

Hello, Mr. Followspot. I see you want to be part of the Family. Well, большой, you're in - but let's fix up that name of yours. You start off at the rank of Prestupnik/Criminal (Преступник). You will now be known as Ioann "Damned" Followspot, and I, Lazar "Meth" Jasper will be your boss.

Happytimes

Hello, Mr. Times! You are looking for an opening in the business? Well you're in - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name-a. I think you shall be a Mr. Fedor "Happy" Times. Welcome-a to the Family. You shall be granted the rank of Naemnyj Uijca/Hitman (Наемный уийца ).
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.
Please-a, enrol, I insist! Altrimenti l'ucciderò. If you don't, you might upset-a me. You do not-a want-a that.

BurekSP (Yes, it does not match my sig, but the Italian mafia is cooler.)

Hello, Mr. Burek, nice to meet you. So interested in this little crime organisation, just a small family business, you understand? Well, luck you, cause you're in - but we're going to have to think of a nickname for you, Mr. Burek. I think we will call you Mr. Rodrigo S. P. "Spuddy" Burek within the Family. Welcome aboard, you've been assigned the rank Chairman. Please note that for the time being you may not use the title Don (not yet, be patient, Mr. Burek). Your boss is me.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Regret Tenenbaum

Hello, Mr. Tenenbaum, very nice to meet you. So you're interested in our little Family, here? Well, welcome in - but we're going to have to sort out your name. I think we will call you Mr. Carlos R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum within Family circles. Welcome, you've been assigned the rank of Capodecina (Capo). Your boss is Mr. Rodrigo S. P. "Spuddy" Burek.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Rwg

Hello, Mr. Rwg, nice to meet you in person. So you want to join our crime syndicate, eh? Well, you're in - but we need to fix you a suitable Mafia name. I think we shall call you Mr. Alberto "Letters" Rwg. Welcome, you've been assigned the rank of Capodecina (Capo). Your boss is Mr. Rodrigo S. P. "Spuddy" Burek.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

DotJasperDotNot

Hello, Mr. Jasper, nice to see you. So you want in on our little business? Well, you're in - but we're gonna need to fix you up a Family name, eh? I think we'll call you Mr. Lazzaro "Dotnot" Jasper. Welcome, you've been given the rank of Wiseguy. Your boss is Mr. Carlos R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Gert5

Hello, Mr. Gert. So you want to be part of the Family, eh? Well, you're in. However, we're going to have to sort out a Family name for you. I think you'll be called Mr. Dante "Five" Gert. Welcome to the Family. You've been assigned the rank of Wiseguy. Your boss will be Mr. Carlos R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Velosi-T

Hello, Mr. Velosi. Of course I've just made the presumption that you're a "mr", if you're not then please let-a me know! So you want to join the crimiest Family in town? Well you're in - but we'll be needing to give you a more Mafia name. I think you shall be called Mr. Bruno "Tee" Velosi. Welcome to the Family. You've been assigned the rank of Wiseguy. Your boss will be Mr. Carlos R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Readmesoon

Hello, Mr. Readmesoon. So you want to join my noble Family? Well you're in - but we'll be needing to give you a Mafioso name. I think you shall be called Mr. Cristiano "Booky" Readmesoon. Welcome to the Family. You've been assigned the rank of Wiseguy. Your boss will be Mr. Carlos R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Kglee

Hello, Mr. Kglee. Of course I've just made the presumption that you're a "mr", if you're not then please let-a me know! So you want tin on the Mafia? Well you're in - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name. I think you shall be called Mr. Dario "Eelg" Kglee. Welcome to the Family. You've been assigned the rank of Wiseguy. Your boss will be Mr. Carlos R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Judge Zarbi

Hello, Mr. Zarbi. So you want to join the Mafia, eh? Well you're in - but we'll need to give you a more Mafioso style name. I think we shall call you Mr. Adriano "Legal" Zarbi or Judge Adriano "Legal" Zarbi, if you wish. Welcome to the Family. You've been assigned the rank of Wiseguy. Your boss will be Mr. Carlos R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

3333

Mr. 333! A son of Orian's, I see. Well, you've made the good decision in joining the mafia, and you're in, and as such, you need your official Mafia-like name. How does Giorgio "Trenta" Trrri sound? To start off, you've been assigned the rank of Sgarrista, and your boss will be Mr. Carlos R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum. Sincerely, -- MafiaHatBlack.gif C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum

Multiliteralist

Have a seat, Mr. Literalist. You've made a good decision, joining the mafia and such, you're in. Your new, mafia-like name will be Mr. Franco "Multi" Literalist. Hope you like it! For now, you'll be a Piciotto, and your boss will be Mr. Carlos R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum. Sincerely, -- MafiaHatBlack.gif C.B.D. C.R. "Grieve" Tenenbaum

Mnbvcxz so I find out what in the name Oscar Wilde this thing is about.

Hello, Mr. Mnbvcxz. Nice to see new recruits! So you want in on the Mafia? Well you're in - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name. I think you shall be called Mr. Georgio "Vowels" Mnbvcxz. It's-a ironic, your nickname? You getta it? Welcome-a to the Family. You've been assigned the rank of Piciotto. Your boss will be Capo Bastone Delegato Mr. Lazzaro "Dotnot" Jasper.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Da man360

Hello, Mr. Man. Fresh-a meat! So you want in the Family? Well you're in - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name. I think you shall be called Mr. Cornelio "Degrees" Man. Welcome-a to the Family. You've been assigned the rank of Piciotto.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

lordarcadian

Hello, Lord Arcadian. Very nice-a to have-a some nobility in the Family, you know? Well you're in - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name, I thinks. I think you shall be called Lord Dino "Nobility" Arcadian. Welcome-a to the Family. You've been assigned the rank of Sgarrista.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

CheddarBBQ

Hello, Mr. Cheddar! Very nice to have some real Italian blood! You want a part in our humble little Family business? Well you're in - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name. I think you shall be called Mr. Paolo "Barbecue" Cheddar. Welcome-a to the Family. Owing to your Italian heritage, special allowances have been made and you-a have been assigned the rank of Consigliere.
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.

Happymonkey39 {either you let me in, or I let you say 'ello to mah litta friend!}

Hello, Mr. Monkey! You want a part in our humble little Family business? Well you're in - but we'll be needing to give you a more appropriate name. I think you shall be a Mr. Dante "Thirty Nine" Monkey. Welcome-a to the Family. You shall be granted the rank of Capodecina (Capo).
Yours sincerely, Mr. Antonio "Snowmobile" Yettie
.


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