The Cow Moo Festival
Every year a good Cow Mooist should worship cows on the 13th of April (or the closest Sunday), and this year, 2008, is very special, because the Sunday falls on the 13th (which happens only every seven years). When this happens it's called The Cow Moo Cascade Festival. On the festival day you can pretty much get away with doing nothing, you just have to say "Yeah I love cows" in MooSpeak. Yeppie, yep yep yep. And yeah, well, yup.
The Super Special Secret
What is the super special secret? Hmm? Well, the Super Special Secret is a very important Cow Moo Cult secret that technically only Chew Grasses and Four Stomachs are supposed to know. It's a conspiracy bigger than your mom, and that's saying something (ha ha I insulted you). I would write it here, but then everyone would know, and that would be silly, because then it wouldn't be a conspiracy or a secret any more.
It is a very theoretical and deep idea about the worship of cows and the actual Cow Moo theory. It is what is at the centre of the Cow Moo Cult and could be viewed as "ironic" given the explicit name of the cult.
I'm not going to say anymore, so HA HA!