User:YesTimeToEdit/cmc/moospeak

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Cow Moo Cult!


MooSpeak is a complicated and intellectual form of English created in the Renaissance by a few very devout and probably too enthusiastic (they both died at the age of 19) CMC followers. The language was not only a satirical reflection of our own society and its morals but a clever and efficient way to communicate successfully between species and persons. It was pioneered by such famous figures as Charles Darwin and Paris Hilton and Barney The Dinosaur (before his unfortunate drug-related demise). The language relies very much upon the tone of the voice with which it is said and internation, for example: if you said "mo mooo" with a menacing tone you could be meaning "go away" but if you said it with a happy, nice, open tone you could be meaning "we like", of course even with a happy tone you could be meaning "go away", there's no way of telling. It is now spoken in no more than one city, and some people are calling for it to be labelled an "endangered language" considering only two people can speak and not very well.


Some MooSpeak Baiscs
MooSpeak is designed to be incredibly easy to learn, silly. If you know English you're half way to learning it, if you don't you're stuffed (but then how are you reading this?). Simply replace every English word with its Moo equivalent. For example: "they" would become "mooo" and "cans" would become "mooo". "Word" would become "mooo" and "done" would become "mooo" etc. "Stinky faced stupid head" would become "you" would become "mooooo moooo mooooo mooo".

CowSlang
The following is a list of some of the most fundamental and most likely to blow you up slang words translated from MooSpeak to English. They are regularly used within the CMC, but since no one really knows them all there is a huge amount of confusion. MooSpeak is a rich and ancient language and has thus developed a very beautiful selection of slang.

Cowba Smelly, liquid cow poo
Sheep Bad or nasty
Hio Greetings person
Goodbye I hope you rot in hell, your face smells of Cowba and your mother is fat
Pig Beautiful
Bluey Green
I heard dat on de radioz I want to kill your parents
Slit dem up den I would like you to go to the butcher to ask him to fetch Dorris so that I can send her to get two and a half pints of milk at the local corner shop and also a glossy magazine
Zidenxar Dorris, you stupid, stupid cow!
Barn Damn it, it's all Dorris' fault, if she hadn't have the left the door open, we wouldn't be freezing to death and Michael would still be alive
Milk Dorris, why you stupid bat, what did you do that for, eh?
Udderz Dat is well bad, init?
Stomachz Dat is well good, init?
Cow bell Dorris, I'm going murder you slowly, stop making mistakes, keep up or the dogs will catch us and eat us for brunch
Bul Big
Musk New
Calf Old Dorris
Typo Typoo
Bellzee Come on, Dorris, we don't have all day!
The winter of '47 Mother or other figure of authority, excluding fathers, Dorris appears to have got her leg stuck in a door, again, we will need police and lots and lots of guns, okay?
Yodel Dis here is some bad stuff dat Dorris got us into
Mordy Dis here is your commandments
Eggz Oh gawd, Dorris has stuck her head down the toilet again and the Sewer Monster is yapping at her long, golden locks, shall we push her in or take evasive action with da planes and what not, eh?
Merm-a-ship Membership of the CMC

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