User:Yawhatever123/Battle of the Bands

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“Battle of the bands gave me AIDS.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Battle of the Bands
“'If I had a quarter for every bat' Just then JFK got shot.”
~ JFK on Battle of the Bands
“I woke up, my asshole hurt, my purple elephants were missing and my wrists were bleeding.”
~ Some person on Morning after Battle of the Bands

edit To answer your questions

Who:The battle will be Jimi Hendrix vs. Nirvana. They will be put in a single arena, they will take turns playing and who ever is not dead and or melts the most faces wins. Millions of people will be stolen from they're home and put in the smelly sweaty arena. It will be without doubt the most intense battle ever fought next to World War XIII.

How: Due to the latest technology, Jesus 2.0, we were able to bring Kurt Cocain Cobain and Jimi back to life. Before they died they were mortal enemies and they have one last settle to score.

Why: Why do you ask so many stupid questions? You don't need a reason for a battle of the bands. The reason people put together battle of the bands is because they are messed up on heroin or some other hardcore drug, or because they like music.

“Dude like I like just freaking like shot like fifty cc of heroin, BATTLE OF THE BANDS.”
~ Tommy Lee on Heroin and Battle of the Bands

edit Shocking News

It already happened yesterday. Best battle of the bands EVER!! All of the people who missed it will regret it for the rest of their lives. But don't get to upset, if you weren't there then your face didn't melt and your still alive. BUT IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME. I went and died, got resurrected and I would do it again in a heart beat. When they announced that the winner was BANG. Please excuse the interruption the writer of the article just got shot for almost spoiling the ending.

edit Complete and Detailed Recap

The band that won was. BANG, read above

edit Even More Complete and Detailed Recap

The band that lost was. BANG, read above above.

edit Complete and Detailed Recap(revision 1)

It went a little something like this -

Stadium is full (lights on)

Complete darkness (Who grabbed my ass!?)

Lights on (Bands in the middle of arena)

Crowd goes wild (WOOOOOOOOO)

Jimi Hendrix starts with a guitar riff that no one had heard before (He won rock, paper, scissors and went first) (crowd falls asleep)

Nirvana pulls out a Power Chord (WOOOOOOOO)

Jimi Hendrix plays Purple Haze with his tongue (crowd falls asleep)

Nirvana does a different Power Chord (WOOOOOOO)

Jimi Hendrix plays Voodoo Child behind his back (crowd comes down with projectile diarrhea)

Nirvana plays two!!!!!, Power Chords (the crowds heads explode)

Jimi Hendrix kills every member of Nirvana (the three people who's heads hadn't exploded WOOOOO)

Jimi copy


Jimi Hendrix won by default (BOOOOO) He looks at them with death in his eyes (WOOOOO) (fake smiles)


edit The Aftermath

Jimi Hendrix was asked by the big man himself, Jerry Springer, to appear on his show. He agreed, but only if he could bring the corpse of Kurt Cobain on. Well this is Jerry Springer ANYTHING GOES.

Jimi Hendrix came on the with the body bag of Kurt and a mystery body bag. He discussed his issues by beating the shit out of Kurt Cobain. The KKK was on the show and burned Jimi. Ding Ding Ding.

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