User:Wild Weasel/Proving Grounds
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Tiger Beat - Well, it's an obvious joke. I mean, I've never actually read it. But still, someone might get a kick out of teenaged girls idolizing man-eating big cats. Photoshopping a must.
edit Jennifer Wilbanks
No one has done an article about her yet? No way.
“This one time, this woman ahead of me in line tried to pay for $70 worth of groceries with a jar full of change. True story.”
edit The person ahead of you in line
As sure as you're running late for an important appointment of some sort or another, the person ahead of you in line (for our Britishe Commonwealthe readers, "line" is English for "queue." English-speakers stand in lines when two or more people are waiting for something, you see) is preparing to make sure you are late. And, if you're not late, they're going to make sure you feel as if time itself has stopped.
The person ahead of you in line appears at any and every major commercial retail location anywhere around the world, though the person ahead of you in line may also appear at non-commerical lines, such as lines pertaining to government services.
Their methods vary, but the person ahead of you in line shares one thing in common with all other persons ahead of you in line - they are very good at what they do.
edit Types of Persons Ahead of You in Line
As mentioned before, there are more types of persons ahead of you in line than there are ethnic stereotypes in a shitty stand-up comedians act. However, for the purposes of whittling them down so we at Uncyclopedia can provide you, the reader, with quality, factual and well-written source of reference if and when you need to write a school report about the person ahead of you in line, possibly while you are waiting in line. You're going to be there for a while.
my mind is broken