User:Why do I need to provide this?

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Excuse me, did we correctly find your inner sock puppet by saying you are Why do I need to provide this??

WHY??? LOVES MARRIES DIVORCES CAN'T REMEMBER LYRITHYA

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User_talk:Lyrithya#Indecent_Proposal

WHO THE HELL IS WHY?

UPDATED 2012 MAY: I'm just a guy who used to be honorable Uncyclopedia editor until I suddenly discovered some people pay for this stuff. So I've prostituted myself. In the past few months, I: got a little something published in a book for which I got paid virtually nothing; completed my bit as part of a group working with an author on another book which got published; worked on another book that is scheduled to have already been published in 2012 but has run into complications; learned that my informal proposal for another book may be headed to formal proposal level; got a story that appeared in a magazine in November that paid me very little; published a few articles where I got paid enough to buy myself a nice but not too big jar of honey. Yes, I'm a cheap slut. But then you knew that.

Contents 1 The Rest is Below 2 Articles I done created 3 Imperial Colonization Articles I done helped write 4 Imperial Colonization Articles I done headed the writing thereof 5 Articles I done plan to rewrite while no one's looking 6 Pee Reviews I done did 7 Proofreading I done did 8 Images I done created 9 Current signature (minus date stamp) 10 Not my current signature but I think it's cool 11 Miscellaneous numbers

edit The Rest is Below

“I don't think the writers work as hard as they used to, and I think they may lack experience because I don't think the writing is as good as it used to be.”

~ John Cleese on Uncyclopedia

Quote at http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article2415904.ece

Am I a slut? Vote HERE

WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio

Received as Nominator of the Month for February 2010

Buccaneer Admiral of Imperial Colonization This loyal subject colonizes savage lands for the Glory of the Empire and is recognized as Buccaneer Admiral of Her Majesty's Imperial Navy.

Commodore of Imperial Colonization This loyal subject colonizes savage lands for the Glory of the Empire and is recognized as Commodore of Her Majesty's Imperial Navy.

Sergeant of Imperial Colonization This loyal subject colonizes savage lands for the Glory of the Empire and is recognized as Sergeant of Her Majesty's Imperial Navy.

Priest of the Temple of Uncyclopedia This person has dedicated his or her life to Gotenyu and is recognized as a Priest in the Unglican Temple.

Knight Commander of the Order

Uncyclopedian of the Month January 2010

Useless Gobshite of the Month December 2009

Reviewer of the Month November 2009

Noob of the Month September 2009

Featured Article: Sun Bee This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Archery This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. (Archery written with Syndrome) Featured Article: HowTo:Be Homeless in America This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Article: Creationism This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. (supervised the great IC team) Featured Article: Bruce Wayne This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. (supervised the great IC team) Colonizations Yes, some of these are redundant with the above. And your point is? Colonization: Transformers This entity contributed to a Colonization, successfully eliminating the natives and furthering the goal of the empire. Featured Colonization: Creationism This entity contributed to a Colonization which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Featured Colonization: Bruce Wayne This entity contributed to a Colonization which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. (Bruce Wayne was Batman but we changed him.) Colonization: Discordianism This entity contributed to a Colonization, successfully eliminating the natives and furthering the goal of the empire. Featured Colonization: Science fiction This entity contributed to a Colonization which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. (Actually, I did virtually nothing on this article except oversee some small IC stuff and write a Pee Review.) Featured Colonization: Dinosaur This entity contributed to a Colonization which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Under user has bought you a beer! Remember though, you're getting the next round. Steel Kidney P.E.E.I.N.G. Golden Urinal You have been awarded this coveted Golden Urinal in recognition of having completed over 25 in-depth pee reviews. Thanks for the hard work. Now have a rehydrating drink, and get back to pissing - there are still articles out there that need your help, dammit! Platinum Pisser Rejoice! Your colossal achievement of completing over 50 in-depth pee reviews has been recognised with the provision of this luxury micturitional accessory. You will be the envy of your friends. Or you would be, if you hadn't ignored them for ages while you were reviewing. Rejoice, Why do I need to provide this?! You have been entitled to the Golden Shower Award For donating high quality material to the Pee Review. HUZZAH! Why do I need to provide this? For your helpful review, you have been given the Skinfan13 Rusty Bucket Award Mommy has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. Cat the Colourful has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. Family Ninjastar Awarded for mentorship of a user who became a CUN or higher. –Miley Spears Family Ninjastar Awarded for mentorship of a user who became a CUN or higher. –HELPME Rabbi Techno Awards You The Platinum Apostrophe For your bravery in the Battle of Grammar. However, we still have work to do! The Apostrophometer estimates there are still over ten million instances of misused apostrophes on Uncyclopedia! Up and at 'em, soldier!

This user is not an administrator and messing with him/her could result in not being banned. IC This user is a member of Imperial Colonization. UN:LEGAL Legal Department Serjeant-at-Law "Crede Quia Absurdum Est " This user is a Brother of the Upsilon Sigma Sigma Fraternity. Humor, Honor, Hubris. Per Iocus Prudentia! This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 2 years, 8 months and 25 days. 7000+ This user has over 7000 edits. This user is constantly PEEING. S/He apologizes for the mess. This user is a member of the Welcoming Committee, because no other Committee would take them. This user subscribes to the UnSignpost: The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph! This user is part of The Proofreading Service. This user page has been vandalized 62 times. This user has graduated from the adoption program! Kudos! from Miley Spears. This user is proud to have been the Adopter of Puffskein. This user is proud to have been the Adopter of HELPME.

edit Articles I done created

(Listed in order of creation)

• Sun Bee (It was Pee Reviewed and I believe improved as a result) Featured 21 Oct. 2009
• Archery (My bowstring broke so Syndrome took this over) Featured 22 Oct. 2009
• HowTo:Be Homeless in America (I edited it as per a helpful Pee Review). Featured 1 Dec. 2009
• UnNews:Steven Spielberg presents Stonehenge Apocalypse Quasi-Featured

edit Imperial Colonization Articles I done helped write

• Transformers
• Science fiction Featured 2 March 2011
• Dinosaur Featured 6 April 2011

edit Imperial Colonization Articles I done headed the writing thereof

• Creationism Featured 08 March 2010
• Bruce Wayne Featured 24 April 2010
• Discordianism Currently undergoing post-Pee Review rewrites

edit Articles I done plan to rewrite while no one's looking

• User:Why do I need to provide this?/Orc

edit Pee Reviews I done did

My Pee Reviews‎

Also see My Pee Review Table (which you're welcome to rip off, especial as it's a rip off of the original)

edit Proofreading I done did

See My Proofreads (like you'd really care).

edit Images I done created

My Images

edit Current signature (minus date stamp)

WHY???PuppyOnTheRadio

Also see My signature collection

edit Not my current signature but I think it's cool

Something I ripped off from some wanker

edit Miscellaneous numbers

• 7,617 = Number of edits I've done here since I started Elul 13, 5769
• 7,617 = Number of times I've wasted time here since I started Elul 13, 5769
• 1 = Number of Uncyclopedians I've married
• 1 = Number of Uncyclopedians I've divorced
• 2 = Number of Users I adopted here who became CUNs (User:HELPME, User:Puffskein).
• 2 = Number of Users I adopted here who were very productive then suddenly vanished (User:Little Mermaid, User:Rifting. I swear I did not eat them. Burp).
• 1 = Number of featured vanity articles here that are about me
• 1 = Number of not featured vanity articles here that are about me
• 273 = Number of new users I've welcomed here since 7 Oct. 2009 (255 in 2009) (Please help)
• 52 = Number of official Pee Reviews I done did
• 18 = Number of articles that followed all or almost all of my official Pee Review suggestions and got featured
• 2 = Number of articles that followed all or almost all of my unofficial Pee Review suggestions and got featured
• 1 = Number of articles that followed some but less than almost all of my official Pee Review suggestions and got featured
• 2 = Number of articles that followed at least some of my official Pee Review suggestions and got featured in a special category (HowTo, UnNews, Why?, etc.)
• 3+ = Number of articles that ignored all or almost all of my official Pee Review suggestions and tried but failed to get featured (I haven't been active for a while so lost track)
• 6 = Number of wikis I've edited
• 11 = Number of years ago I started editing Wikis (anyone remember when Douglas Adams was in charge of H2G2?)
• 5 = Number of accredited colleges and universities I've attended for at least one class session
• 37 = Number of degrees I have (Celsius)
• 98.6 = Number of degrees I have (Farenheit)
• 20 = Number of people who have vandalised my user page (please update this number when you vandalise)
• 62 = Number of times my user page has been vandalised (please update this number when you vandalise)
• 2 = Number of vanity pages other people have made for me
• 8 = Number of the day in March 2010 I was admitted to the Uncyclopedia:Hall of Shame
• 3 = Number of racist/ethnic/disability jokes I find amusing
• 3 = Number of times I lied about my age on Uncyclopedia
• 1 = Number of people here who've accused me of being a bee lover (someone noticed that every one of my articles mentions bees. Really truly).
• 0 = Number of Noobs I'm currently keeping an eye on
• 1.2 = Number of the version of Netscape Navigator I use to surf the Internets
• 1 = Number of times I've yelled at someone in the past 8 years
• 5 = Number of Uncyclopedians who have given me cyberhugs (Luvvy, Miley Spears, Little Mermaid, Black flamingo11, Lyrithya)
• 86.854.32.179 = Number of my super secret agent ID
• 1 = Number of redirecting sockpuppets I had on Uncyclopedia that were huffed (Goodbye User:Why?)
• 1 = Number of redirecting sockpuppets I had on Uncyclopedia that were unhuffed (Hello User:Why?)
• 3 = Number of people I expect to read all this (Mommy, Me and my weird uncle who likes to watch).