User:Weebils

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Weebils the Wonderful LOVES Uncyclopedia, so he wastes a lot of time writing cutting-edge, pulse-pounding, sexually arousing articles that no one reads, including (ta-da!):

Foolitzer Foolitzer Prize Winner September 2007 Foolitzer Foolitzer Prize Winner May 2012 Hallofsham3 Hallofsham3 Hallofsham3

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edit Unnews Articles

Weebils the Wonderful has contributed the following contributions to Unnews, many of which have been lead articles and some of which have been featured articles, so there!

  • Noah: "Change your ways or drown!" - LEAD 1[1]
  • Rosie rips pope and Pooh [2]
  • Bush: "Hang 'em high!" [3]
  • Mushrooms among brainiest vegetables [4]
  • Tony Blair embraces nudism - FEATURED STORY [5]
  • True origin of Reed Richards revealed [6]
  • Romanian skull suggests link between gay men and Neanderthals [7]
  • Michael Jackson undergoes plastic surgery--AGAIN! - FEATURED STORY [8]
  • Another Iraqi car commits suicide [9]
  • Dakota Fanning sacrificed in new film [10]
  • Muslim cabbies fined for refusing fares - FEATURED STORY [11]
  • Lindsay Lohan dries out in rehab - LEAD 2 [12]
  • Redneck Reader goes visual - FEATURED STORY [13]
  • Christian theme park to open in Little Rock - LEAD 1 [14]
  • Playboy launches Braille issue - LEAD 2 [15]
  • T-shirt jokes not so funny anymore [16]
  • Oregon stiffens graduation requirements - FEATURED STORY [17]
  • Ted Kennedy consults Kopechne - LEAD 1 [18]
  • Pelosi: "Electing me was a stark blunder" [19]
  • MSNBC launches "Nude News" - LEAD 1 [20]
  • The big top becomes big business [21]
  • Hangover cure suppressed [22]
  • Educating America, one cereal box at a time [23]
  • Dakota Fanning wins posthumous Oscar [24]
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar attempts suicide [25]
  • Condom use campaign a bust? - LEAD 2 [26]
  • Mr. T wins prestigious Foolitzer Prize [27]
  • Miranda rights expanded - LEAD 1 [28]
  • Iraqi autos avenge their dead [29]
  • Ashley Judd adopts Lucy Fowler's lifestyle [30]
  • Utnapishtim celebrates 2706th birthday - LEAD 2 [[31]
  • Giger gay bar opens in Castro District [32]
  • 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue secedes from Union - FEATURED STORY [33]
  • Bowling alley changes bowl fans - LEAD 2 over[34]
  • Fashion: does it defeminize women?
  • Bellagio unveils "Toon Erotica" exhibit [35]
  • Bush questions Pelosi's manhood - FEATURED STORY [36]
  • Psychologist: Moses had Alzheimer's [37]
  • Jane Fonda seeks new husband - FEATURED STORY [38]
  • Jane Fonda incorporates herself [39]
  • Borat creator lists "Most Powerful Americans" [40]
  • Discovery of Fred Flintstone's diary sheds light on ancient Bedrock [41]
  • Stars fear Oscar may be cursed [42]
  • U. S. Department of Health and Human Services institutes homophobia code [43]
  • Brandy charged with "driving while black" - LEAD 1 [44]
  • Ted Turner publicity stunt was "performance art" - FEATURED STORY [45]
  • Clinton eulogizes stepfather [46]
  • Pelosi bill would have Bush cracking the books - LEAD 1 [47]
  • Obama considers name change - LEAD 2 [48]
  • Chewbaca arrested! [49]
  • Cartoon Network launches "Obscene Bugger Farce" - LEAD 1 [50]
  • Celebrities: "Testicles a great stress reliever" [51]
  • San Francisco outlaws spanking between consenting adults [52]
  • "Wired" police officer electrocuted [53]
  • Burger King introduces new Bun Burgers - LEAD 1 [54]
  • Spaghetti Westerns attempt comeback [55]
  • Lady Bird biography "unkind" - LEAD 2 [56]
  • NASA trip to Uranus called off [57]
  • U. S. surprised by Putin [58]
  • Pentagon revives nose art [59]
  • Wonder Woman not so wonderful [60]
  • Whedon to "homosexualize" Marvel Comics - LEAD 2 [61]
  • Accused astronaut wined and dined [62]
  • Ancient chimps invented hammer - LEAD 2 [63]
  • Celebrities return to first loves [64]
  • Rosie O'Donnell enters rehab - FEATURED STORY [65]
  • Weezil Greeting Cards: Holidays are such a joke! [66]
  • Army launches new recruiting ad campaign - FEATURED STORY [67]
  • Dope on a Rope called "promising" - LEAD 1 [68]
  • NASA goes psychedelic [69]
  • Britney Spears experiences "miracle cure" - LEAD 1 [70]
  • Alan Colmes decries ratings - LEAD 1 [71]
  • Britney bald after "miracle cure" [72]
  • Plans to build another Mt. Everest postponed - LEAD 2 [73]
  • Workplaces drug workers - FEATURED STORY [74]
  • Car drives through mural at art center [75]
  • Clint Eastwood announces bid for presidency - LEAD 2 [76]
  • Beowluf's barrow discovered [77]
  • Children's book publishers release censorship guidelines [78]
  • New Hellmouth opens in Guatemala City - LEAD 2 [79]
  • Al Sharpton arrested as runaway slave - LEAD 2 [80]
  • U. S. military training accelerated - LEAD 1 [81]
  • Canine couriers clean up - FEATURED STORY [82]
  • Mom loses custody of obese son; "Porky" removed from parents' home [83]
  • Sportscaster sidelined for sexist rmarks - LEAD 2 [84]
  • Prince Charles wants to ban McDonald's [85]
  • Doors still slamming after all these years [86]
  • Wounded Marine wants gay ban lifted [87]
  • Sex offenders may receive "special" license plates - FEATURED STORY [88]
  • Angelina Jolie adopts Thialand [89]
  • Nigeria does its best to keep Africa "the dark continent" - LEAD 2 [90]
  • Hospital delivers meals to indigent shut-ins
  • Jeep recalls Cherokees from freed slaves [91]
  • APA creates new phobias [92]
  • NAACP president resigns, citing racism [93]
  • Family beats up principal over boy's grades [94]
  • Condoleezza Rice names fictitious state as human rights violator - LEAD 2 [95]
  • Gangbankers snap up bulletproof raincoat [96]
  • High school distributes marijuana to its students - LEAD 2 [97]
  • Thomas Jefferson impeached [98]
  • FDA expands peanut butter recall [99]
  • Zombies to produce own movie - LEAD 1 [100]
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar reincarnated as comic book character - LEAD 2 [101]
  • Pet food recall alarms pet owners [102]
  • Confederate flag initiates Civil War of words [103]
  • Dutch author finds lost manuscript while tidying up [104]
  • Museum displays four-legged animals [105]
  • Police stink! - FEATURED STORY [106]
  • Las Vegas casinos institute free circumcisions - LEAD 2 [107]
  • Oz residents charged in death of Wizard [108]
  • Bart Simpson arrested for indecent exposure [109]
  • Barely There Prom Dresses popular new trend - FEATURED STORY [110]
  • American Idol finalists so bad they make audience cry [111]
  • Harlequin seeks "real men" - FEATURED STORY [112]
  • Play-Doh penis perturbs parents - LEAD 2 [113]
  • Tinted semen called "colorful" [114]
  • Saturn's wearher puts Earth's meteorological conditions to shame - LEAD 2 [115]
  • Miss America homeless again - LEAD 2 [116]
  • Global warming to end some species (maybe) [117]
  • Scientists invent new fossils [118] - FEATURED STORY
  • Women urged to name their sex toys [119]- LEAD 2
  • Science allows invisible voyeyrs [120] - LEAD 1
  • New fashion models strut their stuff on Paris runways[121] - FEATURED STORY
  • New emoticons keyboards help users put on a happy face [122] - FEATURED STORY
  • Lawrence Land to celebrate author's "literature of lewdness [123] LEAD 2
  • Lego offers sex education kit - FEATURED STORY[124]
  • Sun serendades solar system [125]
  • Blue angel kills South Carolina pilot [126]
  • Global warming to transform men into women [127]
  • Witches okay for national cemetery memorials; holy cows may be next - LEAD 2[128]
  • Senator Harry Reid's apotheosis [129]
  • Human semen a form of ectoplasm - LEAD 1 and (later) FEATURED STORY [130]
  • Uvula's true purpose discovered - LEAD 2 and FEATURED STORY [131]
  • Noah's ark to sail again - FEATURED STORY [132]
  • If elected, John McCain would build a wing onto the White House to house his pets - LEAD 1 and LEAD 2 [133]
  • Zombie Dolls for little boils and ghouls who have it all - LEAD 2 [134]
  • Celebrity Beer test-marketed in St. Louis - LEAD 2 and (later) FEATURED STORY [135]
  • Celebrity Sex Dolls sell well - FEATURED STORY [136]
  • New food pyramid proven fraudulent - LEAD 2 [137]
  • Disney adds porn to televised children's fare - LEAD 1[138]
  • Snow penises outlawed - LEAD 2 [139]
  • KFC introduces Chix on Stix [140]
  • Statuary Hall updates collection - FEATURE STORY [141]
  • Court refuses to allow dad to name son "Dick" [142]
  • Grammy winners' songs used to teach grammar [143]
  • Instructional "sex ed" museum to open in Sin City

[144]

  • Zombies to produce "Girls Gone Wild" series - FEATURED STORY [145]
  • Hollywood experiments with "mindless movies" - LEAD 2 [146]
  • Supreme Court justice redesigns robe [147]
  • Paris Hilton takes up finger painting - LEAD 1 [148]
  • Ex-fire chief doesn't like being butt of successor's "joke" [149]
  • Coca-Cola recycles its "beverage base" [150]
  • Travelers boycott Hilton [151]
  • Yoda wins "Ugliest Dog Contest" - FEATURED STORY [152]
  • New York restaurants cut fat ahead of schedule [153]
  • Activist treed by "fund-raising" deed: naked may be the better disguise, after all - FEATURED STORY [154]
  • Global warming an act of God, not man, religious leaders say - LEAD 1 [155]
  • Jessica Alba lusts after naked men - LEAD 1 [156]\
  • Tintin accused of racism - LEAD 2 [157]
  • Bush deploys clone army to Iraq - LEAD 2 [158]
  • Nuke lab makes top-secret info available to janitorial staff - LEAD 2 [159]
  • Entertainment media open luxury rehab center for "falling stars" "falling_stars"
  • Celebrities brew up a storm (but is it a tempest in a teacup? - FEATURED STORY [160]
  • Disney bans smoking [161]
  • Necrophilia okay in Wisconsin - FEATURED STORY [162]
  • Could-be jurors stand up courts - LEAD 2 [163]
  • Yahoo! caught making up news [164]
  • NASA photographs galaxies having sex [165]
  • President Bush a robot! - FEATURED STORY [166]
  • "Survivor" producer may offer miners (or families) TV series "Survivor"_producer_may_offer_miners_(or_families)_TV_series
  • Toy company boss commits suicide [167]
  • Giant jellyfish donated to Mexico [168]
  • Hubble telescope views Nowak trial - FEATURED STORY [169]
  • Michelle Trachtenberg proves she's an ass" - LEAD 1 [170]
  • Craig: "I did not have sex with that man!" - LEAD 1 [171]
  • Japanese men battle "unsightly bulge" - LEAD 1, LEAD 2, and FEATURED STORY [172]
  • Mythical beast discovered as road kill - LEAD 1 [173]
  • Shark scared to death by New Yorkers" [174]
  • Life After Buffy: The Musical [175]
  • Risque sand castle contest entry disqualified - FEATURED STORY [176]
  • Craig calls it quits on calling it quits - LEAD 2 [177]
  • Babel politics (or is that "babble politics"?) [178]
  • TV Guide publishes annual [179]
  • Sausage company admits advertising boner [180]
  • Silverstone bares soul, sort of - FEATURED STORY [181]
  • God responds to lawsuit - FEATURED STORY [182]
  • Swastika handbag recalled - FEATURED STORY [183]
  • Scientists discover Lucas' Farce - FEATURED STORY' [184]
  • Deep-voiced women have fewer kids, study says - FEATURED STORY [185]
  • Ahmadinejad pleads, "Send us your homosexuals" - FEATURED STORY [186]
  • China bans sex - FEATURED STORY [187]
  • NFL sidelines cheerleaders - FEATURED STORY [188]
  • China goes braless [189]
  • Scientists "discover" new fossils [190]
  • Owen Wilson's first post-suicide appearance - LEAD 2 [191]
  • Crandon police remove "Protect" from logo - FEATURED STORY [192]
  • Misfortune cookies: a new twist on a populat traditional "dessert" [193]
  • Russians beg officials to bury Lenin - LEAD 2 [194]
  • Schwarzengger endorses gay lifestyle - FEATURED STORY [195]
  • Parents denounce new Happy Meals toys - FEATURED STORY [196]
  • Dentist includes breast massage in his practice [197]
  • Actress portrays her own buttocks - LEAD 2 [198]
  • Hillary Clinton's dental care based on England's do-it-yourself approach [199]
  • Ellen Degenerate shows her softer side, sort of - LEAD 1 [200]
  • Military to deploy gaydar [201]
  • Bighorn sheep collared [202]
  • Selma Hayek: "My breasts are God's gift to men" - FEATURED STORY [203]
  • Being "blonde" may be catching - FEATURED STORY [204]
  • Wife asks court to declare her husband dead [205]
  • Obama recommends dog meat [206]
  • Obama auditions as comedian [207]
  • Obama pots (most) proprietary schools off limits to veterans [208]
  • Obama to turn trip to Afghanistan into bestseller [209]
  • Michelle Obama: The First Lady of Fashion [210]
  • Anna Pauin: confused about her sexuality [211]
  • Obama nominates caveman to head up austerity program [212]
  • Oprah's OWN not exactly a cash cow [213]
  • Sex pervert Maurice Sendak dies [214]
  • Obama evolves sexually as well as politically [215]
  • Canada's new phunny munny [216]
  • Mother wins semi-permanent custdy of obese boy [217]
  • Obama mobbed at Clooney's gay gala [218]
  • Blacks back Obama; say it's okay for him to be gay [219]
  • Gov. Jerry Brown pleads poverty [220]
  • Junior designer makes her own prom dress [221]
  • Prison official defend execution of wrong man [222]
  • Man buys Kmart just to get rid of its "shoddy" merchandise [223]
  • California woman recovers from severe burns [224]
  • Police investigate "bizarre incidents" at Walmart [225]
  • University of Tex Ass promotes new academic program [226]
  • Edwards fraud trial: judge prohibits jurors from having sex with defendant [227]
  • Elvis' tomb up for grabs! [228]
  • Obama refers to Poles as "Nazis" [229]
  • Aged couple's secret of a happy marriage: transvstism? [230]
  • Army seeks more male enlistees [231]
  • Obama issues gay mandate to entertainment media [232]
  • Atheist converts after Jesus visits her in the shower [233]
  • Mom's reckless driving endangers tot [234]
  • Michelle Obama's debut as a comedienne falls flat [235]
  • Clinton apologizes to Obama (sort of) [236]
  • Lohan's career survives car crash [237]
  • Obama: should he be committed? [238]
  • Japan "trashes America," Palin says [239]
  • Arboretum's nude statue: some accept, others reject [240]
  • Axelrod: Obama living on a different planet" [241]
  • Obama plays the race card (and the gender card and the gay card) [242]
  • Obama "too busy" to help fellow Democrats [243]
  • Postal Service to be replaced by Pony Express [244]
  • Women: The Superior Sex [245]
  • Lawless Lucy Lawless arrested for being lawless [246]
  • Miss USA: the "real deal" or a "fraud"? [247]
  • Squid sexually assaults South Korean diner [248]
  • Diane Keaton: "Hollywood is incestuous" [249]
  • Disneyland: Still "The Happiest Place on Earth [250]
  • Michigan man accumulates 29 degrees--and still can't land a job! [251]
  • Obama's autobiography exposed as "blatant lies" [252]
  • Plaintiff must prove she's "too sexy to work"""" [253]
  • Las Vegas: it's OK for police to cop a feel [254]
  • Breastauraunts share their secrets of success [255]
  • McDonald's food could be a public health hazard [256]
  • A&E TV takes a bite out of crime [257]
  • Supreme Court rules Congress free to stick it to the American people [258]
  • Jada Pinkett Smith shows some pink (sort of) [259]
  • CNN, Fox charge each other with historical revisionism [260]
  • Student claims sex ed "too educational' [261]
  • Obama plans to enslave white Americans [262]
  • Anderson Cooper criticized for being gay [263]
  • Sun to celebrate Fourth of July [264]
  • Tom Cruise proposes to Anderson Cooper [265]
  • Robber says he has too much time on his hands [266]
  • Victoria Azarenka bares breasts to avoid forfeiture at Wimbledon [267]
  • New Guinea tribesmen nuts about "fellatio fish" [268]
  • Obama worked campaign staffer to death [269]
  • Mississippi abortionists licensed to kill [270]
  • Paterno legacy secure for now [271]
  • Obama calls Gallup poll "racist" and "homophobic" [272]
  • For dissatisfied offender, twice arrested may prove the charm [273]
  • Celebrities lament Colorado movie theater shootings [274]
  • Fred Willard, forced out at PBS, may return [275]
  • Kaitlyn Leeb's third boob makes her feel like a "freak" [276]
  • Obama tells Americans, "Stop the leaks--or else!" [277]
  • Chewbacca's sacrifice helps Han Solo meet expenses [278]
  • Michelle Obama struts her stuff (at taxpayer expense) [279]
  • Olympian volleyball players also "play" off court [280]
  • Scientist studies afterlife [281]
  • Now sane, Jared Lee Loughner expected to plead guilty [282]
  • Navy initiates recruitment drive [283]
  • Romney calls for feminization of Boy Scouts [284]
  • Ann Curry: Matt Lauer has a foot fetish [285]
  • Avid coin collector disappointed to find dime is worth only 10 cents [286]
  • Obama to combat nation's drought [287]
  • Obama admits to belief in Martians [288]
  • Julian Assange stalemates U. K. [289]
  • John Lennon's killer seeks parole [290]
  • Celebrities' scents: the good, the bad, and the smelly [291]
  • Princess Anne to unveil gigantic nude statue that is "better than Brailee' [292]
  • Reese Witherspoon may have Alzheimers' - FEATURED STORY and HEADLINER! [293]
  • Blogger may be "angling" to replace NBA's "anorxic" cheerleader, Kelsey_William - HEADLINER! [294]
  • Sandy Hook Elementary School condemned [295]
  • Department of Defense orders more sexual assault training - FEATURED STORY and HEADLINER! [296]
  • Bra brouhaha over official's decree - HEADLINER!FEATURED STORY and HEADLINER! [297]
  • Obama ducks more IRS fallout - FEATURED STORY and HEADLINER! [298]
  • President and First Lady reportedly separating - FEATURED STORY and HEADLINER! [299]
  • Arias defies death! - FEATURED STORY and HEADLINER! [300]
  • Goldie Hawn: still the "golden girl" - FEATURED STORY and HEADLINER! [301]
  • Bob Dole: GOP is "out of step and out of touch" [302]
  • Obama critics compare U. S. to Titanic [303]
  • Illinois judge resigns in disgrace [304]
  • Greta Van Susteren clears the air [305]
  • Israeli soldiers moon Facebook [306]
  • Taco Bell employee adds "secret ingredient" to menu [307]
  • Jennifer Love Hewitt to wed "unintended intended" [308]
  • NSFW (or Anywhere Else): Hillary Clinton photograped nude [309]
  • Michelle Obama's topless portrait not "artsy fartsy" [310]
  • Soldier violates Pentagon's new Approvel Reading List prohibitions [311]
  • Obama to news media: "we're coming for you!" [312]
  • Latest IRS outrage: agency showers employees with parties--at taxpayer expense [313]
  • Hillary Clinton allegedly operated whorehouse [314]
  • Chinese woman delivers "human turd" [315]
  • Obummer "honored" by New Guinea tribesman's "heartfelt gift" [316]


-- WATCH THIS SPACE; there are lots more to come!


Foolitzer Foolitzer Prize Winner September 2007 Foolitzer Foolitzer Prize Winner May 2012 Hallofsham3 Hallofsham3 Hallofsham3

Writer of the month
Writer of the Month trophy




edit Uncyclopedia Articles

Weebils the Wonderful has also contributed these Uncyclopedia articles:


Foolitzer Foolitzer Prize Winner September 2007 Foolitzer Foolitzer Prize Winner May 2012 Hallofsham3 Hallofsham3 Hallofsham3

Writer of the month
Writer of the Month trophy




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