User:Warmonger256

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

The Great Warmonger of the Philippine Empire, (born 1521 Amno Domini) is the pioneer of the modern Filipino right of speech and freedom. Little is known about this great, and it also seems that 99.3% of the Philippine population does not care.

Middle-finger

The Great Warmonger, ticking someone off with the classical finger.

edit Early life

Riphearout

Lapu-Lapu, shown here inserting an ancient Chinese dragon's heart into the Great Warmonger's body, which will serve as his primary power supply, much like Iron Man without flashy lights.

The Great Warmonger was spawned forth by the sorcerers of Lapu-Lapu, the datu/raja (crazy ass Filipino talk for despotic leader of a tribe) of Mactan. Ferdinand Magellan, some punk-ass bitch of a rich pimp from Spain was cruising through the Philippine archipelago in his yacht, picking up hookers and killing those other datus who won't give him some cock hos.

When Lapu-Lapu heard about some faggot threatening to take his land and his hos, he took a couple of sorcerers, and together they built the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) and smashed protons together awesomely to create a huge rift in time and space. They contacted the great C'thulhu] himself, and by offering over 9000 hos, C'thulhu was pleased and created The Great Warmonger to aid Lapu-Lapu in battle.

When Magellan and his musket-armed men entered the island, they were greeted by the Great Warmonger in the form of a bandolier-laden man armed with an M249 Para SAW machine gun. With over 9000 bullets in stock, the Great Warmonger easily fucked up the Spaniards without a scratch. All those musket balls that hit the Great Warmonger was simply consumed by the Great Warmonger, and immediately he shit them out to create more bullets for his gun.

edit Today

Today, the Great Warmonger took a break from wartime. He's currently a contributor of Uncyclopedia. His main contributions are primarily about his country, but at certain occasions he might also write about things other than his country.

edit Testimonials

“Such an astounding and talented man is worthy enough to be called great...probably at some extent.”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Great Warmonger
“In Soviet Russia, Great Warmonger writes YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on The Great Warmonger
“He is The Great Warmonger.”
~ Captain Obvious on The Great Warmonger

edit The Great Warmonger's works on Uncylopedia

Computerkite

The Great Warmonger once got bored with his computer one day, then used it as a kite to attract Zeus's awesome lightning bolts.

(Important) People he met

All the base that belong to him

His Inventions and Innovations

Questions of reason answered

His fictional art

His guides for the rest of humanity to follow

Personal tools
projects