From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Like all soldiers, when not fighting, Nazis also made war poems. They were full of suppressed emotion and how they missed their family. Their loves and fears are scrawled across the pages that now give us a better insight of how the war actually was. Nazi Poetry has helped many Historians understand the thought tracking of their writers that we could not have known about if the poems were not found. Nazi poetry always rhymed, as Adolph Hitler once said: "To not rhyme in poetry is the worst disgrace you could do to your country. It is a foul Jewish thing to do! Kill the Jews! Kill the Jews!". If a nazi's poetry did not have a singe rhyme, he was sent to the local concentration camp to manufacture orange juice. A lot of Nazi poetry is about very ordinary things like washing the dishes or watching the birds.
- In my house, I lie.
- Safe and warm and dry.
- I hear my Fuhrer cry.
- Everyone's a spy.
- I see my next door neighbour,
- He must die
By Heinrich Hamel
It was argued that the poem, Meine country was written in 1944, although other historians disagreed and thought that it was written in 1945. The problem was sorted out when the famed historian John Tolan shouted after another big row between his peers "Who gives a fuck anyway!". Heinrich Hamel, the author of the poem, was a blacksmith in the war and therefore did not have to fight and spent most of his time alone at home. He was arrested on January the First 1945 for breaking and entering his next door neighbour's house screaming "Mein Fuhrer!" while stabbing his own private parts with a bread knife.
edit Love letters
Most Nazis wrote to their family in poetic forms to show their love, as they could not speak to their family personally. Many of the poems were found in German houses after the war. The poems were usually quite upsetting for people to read, so many of them have been burned by Jewish communities.
- My dearest, dearest, dearest wife,
- I fight for our family with gun and knife,
- And as I contemplate about my fate,
- I feel really sexy in these long Leather Trench coats they give us
- lots of love Love,
By Ted Himmlershcun
Ted Himmlerschun survived the war and went on to be the greatest dust bin man of the twentieth century. He had four children and seven grand children. When looking back on the war in 1986, he told an interviewer: "We may have been murderous savages, but we had really cool coats. I mean come on! you've got to give us that". The poem has been published in over two hundred books, giving Himmlerschun enough money to start his own waste removal service in 1992. Himmlerschun died aged 74 in 1994 from a sexual experiment that involved covering himself in leather and suffocating.
- Dear mother,
- Gran and brother,
- many English, I have killed,
- All their blood and gut I've spilled,
- I miss you more and more
- I wish they'd finish this god damn war
- Mother I miss your home made bread
- And the way father strokes my head
- I wish that I could be back home
- Saluting Hitler and doing fuck all
By Joseph Shumacher
Critics have said that this poem shows how the war was like extremely well. It has been featured in many films such as "Schindler's list" and "The boy in the striped Pyjamas". It was in Dictator magazine's top 100 poems at number 17 in 2009. It is unknown if Scumacher survived World War Two, or if he even lived to send the letter. It was found in a French house alongside a homemade white flag and a rubber dildo (It is unknown if the objects are related).
edit Modern Nazi poetry
Modern Nazis have explored poetry to every extent. They have expressed their emotions in hit songs (such as Papa The Nazi and Fairytale of Auschwitz). Neo-Nazi poetry has not become as popular as the leaders thought it would but you can buy them at all good book stores. Neo-Nazi poetry is also the first type of Nazi poetry to not rhyme.
- Do my views offend you?
- How I feel about the world
- You think that I am evil
- and that I should die
- Why does no-one like me?
- I am spat on in the street
- I want to help the country
- While Immigrants bring it to it's knees
- Bloody Foreigners
By Nick Griffin
Nick Griffin had to publicly apologise for this poem as many other Neo-Nazis pointed out that the poem wasn't really about Nazis. "He was just whining about himself. That's not our way" said a spokesperson for the National Nazi Club. It was due to this poem that Griffin has been outcast from British society.
The happy poem
- Wine and flowers
- Happy Flowers
- I like flowers
- Turtles are cute
- Everything is wonderful
- Primrose and violets
- On my lawn
- While engulfing me with their
- Engaging scents
- Rendering me unconscious
A lot of critics have criticised this poem critically over the years, despite many people complaining that there is nothing wrong with the poem. However, such critics defend themselves by asserting that it seems to have a bad feeling about it. Nobody knows who wrote this poem or when it was written. Some people beleave that it was found on a page that was ripped out of Adolph Hitlers own notebook. The original poem is kept in the museum of Nazi poetry in Poland.
edit Holocaust Apology
Many Nazis did not agree with the mass murder of the Jews. They thought it was inhumane and frankly going a bit too far. They made songs and poems about how they felt...
- Kill the Jews
- Kill the Jews
- kill the motherfucking Jews
So as you can see, not all Nazis are Jew hating scumbags. Some are caring, loving people who were just on the wrong side of a war. Nazis are not all evil. They're just like you or me. So I guess the moral of this article is don't judge a Nazi by his actions, judge him by what he says instead, as that is what really counts.