User:Vicaris

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Oh well, just wasting my time.


edit When Aliens come I'll support our extermination

The day that Aliens (with capital A. They are like a god to me ) invade I'll support them 100%. That means putting a stop to any idiot that attempts to fly a fighter jet straight at the mothership or any sort of stupid action that might defeat the powerful Alien civilization in one blow.

"But Why?" you ask. Well humans are a species of contradictions. And anything stupid should be eliminated. Let me show you proof of our contradiction:

We go to the beach wearing practically nothing and it's okay. But we only show our underwear in private places.

We think hair is pretty in the head, but we are completely disgusted by loose hair.

Male humans have tits even though they don't use it.

For me those are good enough reasons to support our extermination. Aliens, if you can read this, know that I'm on your side.

edit What's the big deal about murder?

I mean, it's just turning off a preassure and heat system. We do it all the time when turning the car keys. I say murder is overrated.

edit Male Population Control

We men are nothing but trouble, that's a fact, everyone knows it, it's undeniable. Not that women are innocent angels, we all know that they aren't, but females can't raise chaos like us, penis wielders.

But perpetuation of the species must be done and jars must be open, so we are a necessary evil. That's why, in order to lessen the harms done by our testosterone driven behavior, we should control the Y gene.

I believe that a 3:1 female to male ratio would be good enough. Go now, let everyone know about this, tell your neighbours, contact your government, the future of mankind rests upon your shoulders hangs in your crotch.

edit Existence is Futile

Face it, your life is of no importance to your country, your state, your city or your neighborhood. If you didn't exist, the world would be the same. That is a fact.

"But I'm important to the ones I care about, and that's what it's all about"

Too bad the ones you care about are just as unimportant as you are.

So why do you make even the smalles effort to have a useless job, a smelly tight apartment, a girlfriend that just wants to get married and suck your money, just so you can be accepted by society? "Your argument is flawed. If everyone thought like this, there wouldn't be any society to start with. We are really important, even if our actions are small". You know who else thinks like that? Bees. Why are you comparing yourself to a flying insect, closely related to wasps and ants, of monophyletic lineage within the superfamily Apoidea, presently classified by the unranked taxon name Anthophila with fewer than 20,000 known species, though many are undescribed and the actual number is probably higher, which are found on every continent except Antarctica, in every habitat on the planet that contains flowering dicotyledons?



Why are you still not dressed in a potato bag getting plastered? Didn't you just read that?

edit The Samsas were so stupid

They could've made so much money. Should've just started a freak show with Gregor.

edit Right now there's a bear foraging...

A penguin is fishing, some bird is making his nest and a lion has fucked 184 times just today. But you, puny human, is covered with a flexible material comprised of a network of natural or artificial fibers, resting over a object consisting of seat and back, possibly supported by four legs, surrounded by a mix of sand, lime, water, calcium sulfate hemihydrate and several aggregates sustained by a steel skeleton, staring at a glowing square while pressing your finger tips against smaller squares with phonetic symbols painted on it. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

edit Asses and Balls are the ultimate proof against Intelligent Design

In a nutshell, our asses and balls are of extremely poor design.

Balls: Do they need to be that sensitive to pain? Do they need to hang exposed outside the body? What good is for a hunter to have a weak spot in his body, that when struck, can bring him to his knees feeling sick from the nauseating pain?


Asses: Unlike most animals, we can't walk and shit at the same time. We need to clean our asses after a shit otherwise it will stink or even worse. Both of those things are awful for our survival, because not only aren't we able to escape during a shit, we'll also smell if we don't clean our asses, revealing our presence to predators.


I just put and end to the intelligent design versus evolution discussion.

edit Criss Angel is Bullshit

http://www.thatvideosite.com/video/4714 This video proofs Criss Angel is crap. He should at least make a video that leaves some doubt if it is fake or not.

http://www.bmezine.com/news/people/A20210/plp56/

edit Horses

Horses are great animals. I would like to have one. But I just can't like them that much.

It's like they act so superior to you. You see them running faster than you ever would, the sun reflecting on their perfectly lustrous hair, their tail flying with the wind, mighty blows to the ground gives you a notion of their weight and power. When you see a horse running you just know you'll never come anywhere near that.

And then they just come and let you puny weak pathetic human mount over them. They could kill you with a kick to the head, but they let you ugly thing ride their back. They are stating their moral superiority over you. And not only that, but when you look at their eyes, it's like they are engaged on some deep thinking about the nature of the universe.

While they are completely superior to you, physically, morally and intelectually, you ride their back pointing at some hole in the ground and saying "LOL MOLES ARE COOL!!11".

Fucking horses.


edit Thoughts About Money

-What would I do for 1 billion dollars: Would let myself be guinea pig for male pregnancy experiments, sponsored by Michael Jackson. Then I would abort and fuck the fetus

-100 dollars bills: Those are the only ones I'm not disgusted of. I even lick them, because people who had 100 dollars bills circulating are superior than me, and I feel like I become a little bit better every time my tongue touches the bill.

edit Don't be fooled, they're commies

What does communism and the the biggest icon of capitalism have in common? Santa. Yes indeed. Coca Cola Company created Santa Claus as we know it. Before their marketing deviation of Santa Claus, originally Saint Nicholas, he was just another boring saint among many other boring saints. Coca Cola took that figure, twisted around and created Santa as we know it.

Now you think "bastards, scavengers, carrion birds! They'll just go after anything for money! Have no respect for the sacred. Damn you Uncle Sam". Naive. Santa is none of that. In fact, Santa exposes the true nature of what we think is just another tentacle of the big machine called capitalism.

It's quite obvious really. First, notice the beard. What Karl Marx, Fidel Castro and Santa have in common? BEARD. Now his attires. The guy is completely dressed in red, from head to toe. But if the mere fact that he's a walking display of commie symbols it's not enough to convince you, shall we remember what he is famous for? Giving away gifts. It's a bearded man in red that goes around the world giving away gifts. For FREE! The guy is a commie. He's the knight rider the fourth international.

You've been warned! Coca Cola is not the paragon of capitalism, it is a big commie front! One day they'll make their move! Have your arms ready.

edit Baby, you've constructed an additional pylon in my heart

Baby, the warriors of love have enganged in battle

I'll send the Corsairs of my pride

To stop you from Reaver rushing me with your Shuttle

When you snoke in my heart with your Arbiter

you caught me unprepared without an Observer


Baby, you've construced an additional pylon in my heart

Now I ain't got enough minerals

To resist your killer Archons

edit Food-Eating Battle Monkey

Febm This user is a Fruit-eating Ninja monkey. They have a battle rating of 8.9.
Febm This user is a Muesli-eating Space monkey. They have a battle rating of 4.8.
Flag of Brazil This user is Brazilian. Roberto Carlos!

(List of Brazilian Uncyclopedians)

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