User:VanSisean/Blargistan

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
El Émirato Coñstitucioñal dellö Bañaña Blárgistañ (Cuban)
The Constitutional Banana Emirate of Blargistan and Minor Affiliated Territories
Banana Blargistan
Fullblargflag 1000px-Coat of arms of Blargistan
Flag Coat of Arms
Motto: Allahu Oxenfree!!! (traditional), Sic Semper Bananus (latin), Queremoss Éguir Siendo uná Rrepública Bañañerá (cuban/official)
Anthem: "Chiquita Banana"
Unofficially "Der Koniggratzer"
BlankMap-World gray   \mathfrak{Das  Es Gut Land}
Capital Chiquita (Lu'hana)
Largest city Lu'hana Prefecture, Chiquita
Official language(s) Cuban, Russian, Dutch, Tuberic, English
Government Banana Emirate (Constitutional Monarchy)/Banana Republic/Oligarchy
‑ Emir Kaze VanZize
‑ Queen Sophia Chiquita the II
‑ Supreme Senate Commander R. von Olaf
National Hero(es) Emir Vansise, Aunt Edna, Lady Chiquita
Declaration
 of Independence
From Civil Rights: 1945
From Sanity: 1964
From Freedom: 1983
Currency Chiquitana
Religion Islam, Eastern Orthodox, VanSiseanism
Population 30-40K
Ethnic groups 43% White Cochinos
12% Arab
15% Latino
14% Polynesian
1% Other

The Banana Emirate of Blargistan and Minor Affiliated Territories, also known as the United Emirates of Blargistan and VanSisea, and informally known as Banana Blargistan, B. Blargistan, the BEB or the BEoB, is a nation that, despite holding outer dominions, holds its primary sovereign territory on Das Es Gut Land, an island located 671 miles from the South American coast in east Poynesia (the only other nation on the island being the semi-recognized autonomous region of United Dutch Czuban Japance, which Banana Blargistan itself claims is a legitimate entity).

Banana Blargistan has a well-known fruit-based industry, hence its status as a banana republic, a self-claimed title which Blargistan fully endorses. Blargistan also imports many materials from other nations, some of which have been deemed questionable by the World Assembly. Blargistan has, thus far, been relatively cooperative in allowing the World Assembly, the United Nations and various other security forces to proceed in mandated weapons inspections.

Banana Blargistan is also the head of the Polynesian Council, an attempt at the establishment of a pan-Polynesian empire. Thus far, the only interested parties appear to be Kiribati and the territories that the Emirate has already claimed, as well as Natingenium, who, while not being a member, recognizes the Council's legitimacy. Blargistan officially supports the idea of a pan-Polynesian and, ultimately, Oceanic empire (that being in Oceania). Thus far, Blargistan has signed treaties with Natingenium, New Zealand and Australia that allows for their recognition as sovereign bodies independent of the Polynesian Council or other attempts at creating a pan-Oceanic empire.

In other foreign policy, Blargistan is well known for its campaigns, some of which include the restoration of the Czar in Russia, the definition of Columbia as a Central American nation, Hawaiian independence, the establishment of various Rightist regimes worldwide, the nationalization of the Panama Canal zone, a united pro-Islamic yet secular caliphate, the restoration of the Ottoman Empire, Galapagos independence and Pandoran independence.

Domestically, Blargistan supports economic nationalization, particularly the nationalization the United Fruit Company, specified tight immigration policies, a greater sense of patriotism and a greater sense of nationalism, as well as intensely supporting the notion of a monarchy as a necessary element of society in giving the people morale.

In late March, 2010, Blargistan experienced a Democratic Revolution as a result of the events of the peaceful Banana Split and Peel Revolution demonstrations, and due to internal pressures within the Bananist Senate and Party. Emir VanSisean stepped down as absolute leader, and, in early April, R. Von Olaf officially became interim leader of the Banana Emirate of Blargistan until the election process was completed in May. The Blargistan Senate, under new legislation, renamed the nation The Consitutional Banana Emirate of Blargistan.

In May, Z. M-Bogusky of the Cooperation Coalition was elected as Leader of Blargistan and Head of the Blargistan Duma.

Throughout the latter part of June and the majority of July, Blargistan and Das Es Gut Land were isolated from the world. The World Assembly declared a no-fly zone over the region and blockaded it, until, recently, contact was established with Das Es Gut Land Civil Headquarters. The situation is an ongoing news story.

KC FTW!!!
His Excellency, Emir VanSise

Blargistani Propaganda:

Chiquita Banana The Original Commercial(01:23)


Other Anthem Sample:

Personal tools
projects