User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/87
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Episode 87:Falling demands
(Han is falling from 4000 stories high without a parachute. )
Han: Wait a second...oh right, this is far.
(At the top...)
All except Engelsfair: HAN!!!!!!
Engelsfair: So what? He blew up half of the wall!
Supwealuhop: Prepare the curry powder.
Braycat: Be still, communist. <aims arrow>
(Engelsfair snaps arrow)
Engelsfair: Prepare the Commie Fall Stopper!
Underling: Sir, that only works on communists.
Engelsfair: Right...right...who cares!?!
Emmzed: Pretty much everybody in the group.
Aquarii: I WILL SAVE HIM!
(Aquarii takes a combat knife and sticks it between his teeth and jumps out.)
Keira: Now we have TWO people to save...
Adam: That is just a normal fall stopper.
Nikita: Well, hopefully he will finally use his telekinesis for something useful...
(Flashback to two days ago. Aquarii is near a microwave heating up Macaroni and cheese.)
(Aquarii uses his psychic powers and blows up the microwave. Back to current time.)
Nikita: Yeah right.
Adam: Keira, make that THREE we need to save... <pushes Indy out the hole>
(Priest goes to save Indy by jumping out)
(Ronalds and Engelsfair jump to save people)
Adam: Make that five.
Keira: Don't you mean six?
(Braycat and Shandion jump, as well as his dog)
Keira: Oh no... nine.
(A grapple gun's hook holds onto a handrail in the room)
Dizberg: Okay, we need to act fast. Shamus, throw them down a keg. Keira, use Engelsfair's bedsheets to make a rope so they can climb back up.
Shamus: Wouldn't it be smarter to use that grapple cann-
Dizberg: No interruptions! We need to work quickly!
Keira: Whatever. <pulls on grapple wire>
(Aquarii uses his telekinesis to get a snack)
(The snack explodes.)
(Keira makes her way down the side of the building.)
Dizberg: What if the wire were to snap?
Shamus: That's a load of-
(Dizberg starts sawing the grapple wire)
Dizberg: This is why you listen to my plans!
Shamus: Sawing the wire won't help.
Dizberg: You're right.
(Dizberg takes Emmzed's axe and starts to chop the wire)
Minh: I don't know about you, but I'm going to help those people falling down to their near certain deaths. Foolish Engelsfair. underling!
Minh: Order a trampoline of some sort to be put at the bottom of this building.
(At the side of the building, Han is breaking a window, the others are hanging onto Han's grapple wire)
Indy: Are you sure this will hold?
Han: As long as nobody is sawing the wire, yes, <breaks window>
(The wire is chopped. Han does a cool acrobatic move)
Everybody on the wire: AYIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
(Meanwhile on the top floor)
Shamus: Now look at what you've gone and did!
(On a lower floor...)
Keira: I need to find a way to get them to safety...
(The broken grapple wire and everyone on it fall down, visible in the window)
Keira: The COMMIE CATCHER!
(Keira activates the COMMIE CATCHER!)
Veitcong: HALT! This room is for commies only! <Vietcong surrounds Keira>
(Keira fires arrows at the three Vietcong. A Vietcong's radio goes off.)
Minh: You are three are idiots. You don't work for Engelsfair. Stand down or I will personally turn you into a food stamp.
Vietcong: No you won't because WE QUIT SEVERAL WEEKS AGO!
(The Commie Catcher catches the group, except for HAN!!!!!)
Han: (Hanging on a ledge) That window looks weak... <smashes window, and jumps inside>.
(Meanwhile on another floor)
Dizberg: We have to reunite with Han.
Indy: Who snapped the wire?
(Everybody that didn't jump points to Dizberg)
Dizberg: Eh heh heh.... uhhhh.... sorry?
(Everybody lunges at Dizberg)
Slipherius von Jämssen: Can I lunge too?
Adam: Who the fuck are you?
Slipherius: I am a German friend of Dizberg! Why are you pounding him?
Braycat: Because he is an idiot.
(Down on a lower floor...)
Keira: Die Vietcong!
(The vietcong who surrounded her are all dead, with arrows in their chests, Keira heads up the stairs)
Han: Whoever snapped the wire, I'm gonna strangle... <goes up the stairs>
(In the staircase, there is a hole, and Han falls through into a pit of spikes)
Han: (Hanging on to the non-broken staircase) What the- CURSE YOU ENGELSFAIR!
Engelsfair: It is an Anti-Capitalist trap.
Tank Grunt: Can I save Han, dad?
Han: And are the rest of group alive?
Engelsfair: Shandion's dog is dead.
Shandion: GARM II!
Han: As long as everybody else is alive, then that's alright. Also, this is SO easy to get out of.
Engelsfair: Getting out of it is a trap too.
(Han gets out, just to be poisoned with a dart and dropped into a deeper pit)
Han: Is there any reason this dart is covered in water?
Engelsfair: That is not water, but pure communism, which damages capitalists.
Tank: Dad, can I shoot Engelsfair?
Han: (not damaged) Whatever. And there is an elevator out of this pit anyway.
Engelsfair: The elevator is a trap.
Han: Why do you think I haven't entered it?
Engelsfair: Not entering it is a trap too. That entire area is a trap.
(Further down the stairwell, somebody falls into a trap)
Keira: DAMN YOU ENGELSFAIR!
Han: Wait, who screamed "Damn you Engelsfair?"
Engelsfair: A capitalist Indian.
(Braycat uses a Shoshone chant to fill the pit with water, allowing Keira to escape out of it.)
Aquarii: GET DOWN!
(Aquarii tackles Braycat and Keira, causing them to fall down the staircase, into a trap. The staircase door to the first floor busts open. The Peace Corps, led by Sargent Mhale pour in, and fall into a trap. )
Han: Like Keira said, DAMN YOU ENGELSFAIR!
(Han steps into trap, and is teleported to a top-secret COMMIE hideout)
Han: It's your choice. your friends... or Communi- (is teleported to the hideout three floors down)