User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/180
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edit Episode 180: Life on Uncyclopedian Mars
(This episode starts...in a car)
Uncyclopedian: Our last plot-related episode was 176...A FREAKING GUEST EPISODE.
(Uncyclopedian presses the reset button)
Uncyclopedian: Hahaha! Now the plot should be NORMAL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Meganew: Yeah right...
(Suddenly, Keira and Annie run in wearing only Lingerie and with big bellies)
Keira: Will somebody go out there and do something!?!?
Meganew: What do you want us to do?
Annie: Go out there and stop the eels that are getting inside our bellies and incubating!
Uncyclopedian: RESET BUTTON!
(Uncyclopedian presses the reset button)
Meganew: Do you want to die again?
Benson: What? You liked Annie and Keira with big bellies?
Meganew: Um... Maybe?
Uncyclopedian: Well, then... Death is only a minor problem here. Just look at Priest. And Muganez. And yourself. And I. Oh, and by the way, the reset button should have revived Engelsfair by now.
Meganew: ...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?! OH SHIT STOP THERE A MAN GETTING OUT OF HIS JEEP!
Kartono: HOLY SHIT! I'm gonna get hit! Help me, Goa Tse!!!
(Car crashes into Kartono and Kartono is in a coma. Benson dies.)
(In the hospital bed, Kartono was laying there in a coma)
Kartono: Where the hell am I? This place looks.... weird. Excuse me, what year is it?
(A young Meganew walks in)
Kartono: What year is it, young man?
Meganew (young): It's 1983.
Kartono: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! What happened to Goa Tse? And Uncyclopedia? Why? WHHHHYYYYYY?!?!?!
Meganew (young): Chill out! Will you just frakking stop it!?!?
Kartono: Tell me, kid, what's your name?
Meganew (young): I'm Meganew.
Kartono: My name is Joseph Kartono. I am a cop.
(A day later)
Kartono: Looks like it's time for me to explore the 1983 world.
(Title card starts)
Kartono (dialogue): My name is Joe Kartono, and one day, I was hit by a car, and woke up in 1983. Whatever that is, it felt like if I landed on another universe. Since then, I became a cop and we caught a hell of a lot of bad guys. Now I just needed to work out how to get back home.
Kartono: Whoa, those cars look weird and nice at the fucking same time. Awesome! Now, how can I get back home? Oh wait, there's a house for rent!
(Kartono goes into the house)
(A young Benson comes in)
Kartono: Excuse me, I'm looking for a Ben DuBois. Have you seen him?
Benson (young): Yes. He's upstairs. DAD, THERE'S A WEIRD GUY IN THE FRONT STEP!
Ben: HANG ON, I'M COMING DOWN SON! Oh, are you interested in renting a room?
Kartono: Yes, I am. My name is Joseph Kartono. I'm looking for a place to live. And do you know the nearest tailor?
Ben: The rent is going to cost you $200 a month.
Kartono: Back home, in the future, I would pay $700 a week to rent!
Ben: You're from the future? What are you, mental?
Kartono: Sorry about that. Ignore what I said. Oh, wh's that little kid here?
Ben: THAT'S MY SON, BENSON DUBOIS! HE IS A STRAIGHT-A STUDENT AT SCHOOL! HE'S NINE YEARS OLD!
Kartono: Pardon me, but do you really need to shout like that?
Ben: YES! I'M BETTER THAN YOU! DON'T PAY, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!
Kartono: Hey, Benson, I'm Joseph Kartono, and I love Goatse!
Benson (young): YES I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! AND WHAT THE HELL IS GOATSE? SOME PRIEST?
Kartono: Oh, crap. Another screaming guy? Urgh..... Goatse must have been pretty much pulled his anus together now.
Benson (young): COME IN! YOU MUST BE FEELING HUNGRY!
Kartono: Alright, I'll come in.
(In the dining room)
Kartono: So, Ben, what school does your son go to?
Ben: ARE YOU KIDDING ME! IT'S UNCYCLOPEDIA MIDDLE SCHOOL!
Benson (young): AND I SCORE A'S ALL THE TIME! I'M BETTER THAN EVERYONE!
Kartono: I bet so. One day, you will. And I know that you will succeed.
(The next day)
Kartono: I'm going to find a job. I'll see you later guys!
Ben: SEE YOU!
(At the job application office)
Kartono: I would like to apply for a job as a police officer.
Clerk: Go upstairs, fill out the fucking paperwork, and then you will be assigned.
Kartono: OK, thanks. Right, now, it must be here. Oh, there it is.
Officer: Come in, you are now assigned to the 125th- uh, you know. You're now DCI Joseph Kartono.
Kartono: What happened to the other guy?
Officer: The guy? Sam Tyler? He killed himself. He said that he wanted to go back home, and that's what he deserved.
Kartono: That's eerie. Must have been ten years of "rabbit digs the burrow" and widening his anu- I mean, his gate-
Officer: SHUT UP!
(at the station)
Kartono: Hi, guys, what should we do?
(After two years of being in coma, Kartono was then revived. He says goodbye to everyone.)
(Commercial break ends)
Kartono: That's it, I will just end my life like this. If I couldn't get back home, then I will kill myself.
(Kartono jumps off the building and dies)
(Kartono wakes up in hospital)
Kartono: My God, where the fuck am I? What year is it?
(A nurse walks in)
Nurse: The year is 2011. You're in a coma for two years. You're hit by a car, I tried to revive you, but you're still stuck.
Meganew: My God, you're fucking alive!
Kartono: Yep. I'm now going back to work. I'm going back as a cop!
Uncyclopedian: I hate to say this, but Benson DuBois is dead.
Kartono: He's dead?
Meganew: Yes. Two years ago, you've been hit by us, and Benson, who's in the front, died instantly.
Uncyclopedian: Not that that means much, seeing how this is TYATU. Death does not matter here! Just look at Priest!
Kartono: Crap. Couldn't believe it.
(Credits roll- END OF SEASON 3)
(Meanwhile, at the Uncyclopedia Broadcasting Service Building)
Executive 1: Now we could now cut this piece of shit!
Executive 2: TYATU is a complete waste of money and we didn't have any funding for two years!
Executive 1: We'll just cut if off anyway. Seize all assets!