User:Un-Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/168

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search

Episode 168: The Edlons

(Scene begins with Dr. Aquarii walking towards Keira)

Dr. Aquarii: Keira?

Keira II: Yes? Oh! Dr. Aquarii! It's so good to see you again!

Dr. Aquarii: How are you still alive?

Keira II: I'm an Edlon. It's not like they can't download me into a new body, thereby giving me immortality?

Muganez: Excuse me. Did you say you are an Edlon?

Dr. Aquarii: No. Uh, no she didn't.

Priest: EDLON!?! I SMITE THEE IN THE HOLY NAME OF GOD KNOWN HOLILY AS THE HOLY LORD!!! (Smites Keira II WITH HOLY MIGHT!)

Dr. Aquarii: THAT WAS MY GIRLFRIEND!!!

(Dr. Aquarii kills Priest with a gun)

(Scene switches to Edlon ship. Priest is downloaded into a new body)

Gates: Hello there, Priest.

Priest: Who are you?

Gates: I'm an Edlon, and the leader of this ships. Model number 1, Specifics code PR0N. And you are...

(Priest kills Gates with a sharp piece of metal)

Gates: (Downloads to new body) And you are Model number 2, Specifics code 1337.

Priest: And how do you know this?

Priest II: (Appears) Because of me...

Priest: (Gasps) WTF!? I SMITE THEE WITH HOLY WRATH!

(Priest kills Priest II)

Priest: Oh look! A HOLY plane!

Gates II: Where? (Turns around)

(Priest kills Gates II, then flies away in the Edlon Banner he discovered)

Priest: I am not an Edlon, I am not an Edlon, I am not an Edlon...

Priest III: (Appears) Of course you aren't...

Priest: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

(Priest lands the Banner in the Uncyclopedia's hangar. Marines come to check it out, but do not see Priest III. Priest is taken to the Captain's office)

Captain Adam: Hello...Priest...

Priest: Why are there UNHOLY pauses between your words!?!

Cpt. Adam: Because...thoughtcrime does not entail death. Thoughtcrime IS death!

Priest: ...This is a parody of Battlestar Galactica, not 1984.

Cpt. Adam: The difference is?

Priest: One involves horny robots chasing humanity, and the other involves a dystopian society with Big Brother.

Cpt. Adam: That's JUST WHAT THE MINISTRY OF TRUTH AND THE EDLONS WANT YOU TO BELIEVE!!!

(Dr. Trousers enters the office)

Trousers: Adam, stop being an idio...OOH STRING!!!!

(Scene switches to Muganez on a training exercise)

Muganez: (Perks up) Hey! I just got a new idea how to capture enemy planes!

Lt. Keira (Keira II): How?

Muganez: Just by saying "Oh look! A plane!"

Engelsfair: That's cheap... Oh look! A MiG!

(Engelsfair gets into a MiG that appeared, and flies out of the hangar)

Engelsfair: Oh look! A COMMUNIST THING!

(Random Guard looks at the communist thing)

Guard: Yes. A freaking SOVIET MISSILE HEADING TOWARDS OUR FREAKING PLANE!!!

Engelsfair: But it's a Soviet missile! It can't hurt a communist!

Guard: True. However, A CRASHING PLANE KIND OF HURTS, YOU KNOW.

Engelsfair: Just cushion the fall with Garm.

Shandion: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NOT GARM!!!

(Engelsfair cushions the fall with Garm)

(Garm lives)

Guard: That...can't...be...right...

Meganew: Of course it is. We're stopping the "Garm is TYATU's Kenny" pun.

Shandion: Really?

Meganew: Nah. We're just using it less.

Uncyclopedian: It's not a PUN, Meganew, it is an IN-JOKE.

Meganew: Darn it.

Director: Back to the episode guys...

Meganew: Shut up.

(Meganew kills the director)

Uncyclopedian: Meganew, we already killed directors by the ton. Where do we get them, anyway?

Engelsfair: From COMMIELAND!!!

Uncyclopedian: No.

Meganew: Heck no.

Han: Shut up, Engelsfair!!!

(Han throws Engelsfair out of an airlock)

Ronalds: COMMUNISM IS STILL BETTER!!!

Muganez: Look! OuroborosDonuts!

(An OuroborosDonuts stand is seen floating in space)

Cpt. Adam: Mine!!!

(Adam takes the OuroborosDonuts stand all for himself)

Muganez: You fiend!!!

Von Dizburg: (Appears) MINE!!!

(A battle ensues over the OuroborosDonuts stand)

(Credits roll)

View the next episode

User:Uncyclopedian/Template:TYATU

Personal tools
projects