User:Uncyclopedian/UnScripts:The Young and the Uncyclopedians/124
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
edit Episode 124: VFD's Kitchen Part 2
(Episode begins inside VFD's Kitchen)
Demsey: This will be an unusual challenge. You will have to cook for someone with sophisticated taste buds. A real cool guy. Crazy guy. Introducing...Johnny!!!
Capercorni: I have a little brother with that name!
(Johnny comes in. He is a little kid)
Johnny: I like yellow. I like crayons. I like yellow crayons. <chews on crayon> Oh, hi Capercorni. Check out my tongue!!! <sticks tongue out at Capercorni>
Capercorni: Definitely my little brother.
Demsey: As a rule, your food must be yellow for him!!!
Rumsfeld: Does that mean I'm going to get a urine test again like in the last round?
(Cheney hits Rumsfeld, and the Red team goes to the Red Kitchen.)
Argon: Okay guys, that Johnny fellow likes crayons.
Capercorni: We have to give my little brother a yellow crayon!!!
Everyone else: SURE!!!
(Meanwhile, in the Blue Kitchen, the Blue Team is planning what to cook)
Priest: HEAVENLY YELLOW CAKE!!!
Kim: NO NO NO, YELLOW SPAGHETTI!!!
Trousers: Guys guys guys, stop arguing. This is a lunch. Kim has a good idea, but Aquarii has a better idea. Nice idea of real time chicken in cheese sauce.
(The teams make their food, when suddenly, in the Blue Kitchen, an oven spontaneously explodes.)
Kim: What the goo?
Rene: No, it just was a bad, non-French oven.
(Starnes sneaks off with a gold wire from the destroyed oven)
Borgat: I've of having it!
Trousers: What'd you make?
(Borgat pulls out a wet string from a pot)
Borgat: VERY NICE! HIGH FIVE, yes?
Trousers: First, we need yellow food. That string is blue. Second, SINCE WHEN WERE YOU ON THIS TEAM ANYWAY!?! Third, you didn't even light the stove.
Borgat: I lonely, so I sneak through back door (points to door)
Trousers: Well, it still doesn't work.
Aquarii: What happened?
Kato: I dropped my yellow skinned PSP into this vat of oil! Now I'll never win Tetris!
(Borgat is kicked out, and the food is made. The food is given to Johnny)
Johnny: <eats chicken> Tasty, but why are there PSP shards in it? <sees crayon> YELLOW CRAYON!!! YAY!!! <eats crayon> EVEN BETTER THAN THE CHICKEN!!!
Demsey: Looks like the Red Team wins by a crayon. Blue Team, choose someone to kick out.
(Every Blue Team member stares at Kato)
Kato: What did I do?
Froggy: No dropping PSPs in the ribbit of oil ribbit.
Demsey: Oh well.
(Demsey pulls down Kato's painting.)
Demsey: Before you go, I've got a surprise for you.
Kato: A Playstation 3?
Demsey: No, take a look behind you.
(Kato looks behind him. Dorian is standing there with his cane)
Kato: Oh shi-
(Kato starts running for the door. Dorian pulls his sword out of the cane.)
Dorian: WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, BOY!
(Dorian chases after Kato.)
Demsey: Okay. That makes 8 people for each team. Let's move onto the next challenge. You have to cook an inedible object to make it edible.
Trousers: String, anyone?
Demsey: Since Borgat made string in your kitchen we won't allow you to make that again.
(Menwhile, a few feet away)
Cheney: We're going to make national security edible!
Capercorni: With my eyes of decievement I do not think that, my child.
Capercorni: BUCKSHOT! HA HA! (Shoots at ceiling)
Dr. Moneysign: I've got a hyperdermic needle in my pocket from an AIDS patient. How about that?
Rumsfeld: Well, I guess that will work...
Guard: Sure, now that is easy.
Demsey: Okay, so everyone has a plan now?
Demsey: Good, now go to your kitchens and begin cooking!
(The teams disperse to their kitchens)
Trousers: Great. Now what are we going to make? Mama's secret string recipe isn't going to work.
Priest: How about a New Testament sandwich?
Aquarii: WE CAN BOIL THE MAN IN VESELIA!
Trousers: Na. Jack Bauer already did that. And human meat, unfortunately, is edible.
Trousers: We can't fit a country into our largest frying pans.
Trousers: A man called Mr. Magnetout ate lots of metal already.
Rene: A boat?
Trousers: Too big.
Rene: A metal wire?
Trousers: Close enough to string to work. LETS GO COOK, TEAM!!!
(Meanwhile on the other side)
Cheney: So how are we going to make this thing edible?
Rumsfeld: We first need to find a cure for AIDS.
Guard: But wouldn't it be easier to just boil it?
Capercorni: It is not of evil for which I lurk in the shadows to find my congregation.
Capercorni: BUCK! SHOT! HAHA! (Kills the guard with his shotgun)
Demsey: THAT IS IT!!! YOU ARE THE WORST COOKS I HAVE SEEN SO FAR!!! AND YOU JUST SHOT YOUR BEST COOK!!!
Capercorni: HA HA!!! (Shoots Demsey, misses)
Demsey: GET OUT RIGHT NOW, CAPERCORNI!!!
(Portraits of both the random guard and Capercorni are taken down)
Ghost of Random Guard: Ok, now this was bad. PRIEST!!! COME HERE!!!
(Priest rushes into the Red Kitchen.)
Priest: A ghost!!!
(Priest gets God to return the guard to life, portrait of the guard put back up)
Capercorni: BUCKSHOT!!! HA HA!!! (shoots customer)
(Security takes Capercorni out of the building)
Demsey: Back to the challenge!!! Are the teams ready to present?
Cheney: I think so...
Trousers: We're ready.
Demsey: Today your dishes will be sampled by Mr. Jed Ravent, a friend of a satisfied customer (Coughs) Ed Kaine. Bring the dishes to him!
(The dishes are brought, and a suspenseful camera pan starts. Just as he puts the Red team's dish into his mouth, the credits roll)