User:Uncle J/Grand Theft Auto: Sunnyvale Trailer Park
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Grand Theft Auto: Sunnyvale Trailer Park is the tenth installment of the Grand Theft Auto series. It centers around three petty criminals who make a living breaking the law while living in a trailer park outside of Halifax. One of the main characters is an alcoholic who always carries a rum and coke with him, although he almost never appears drunk. He also has an amazing ability to keep his drink in his glass. He has fallen down and been involved in rollover traffic accidents and not one drop of his drink has spilt. The other protagonist is addicted to both cigarettes and dope and lives in his car. He grows dope for a living and is quite good at it, but unfortunately he isn't very good with money and his wealth is usually short lived. The third main character is an eccentric loner who looks after 76 cats and his only two friends are the previously mentioned characters. Abandoned at a young age, he lives in a shed and drives a go-kart which was given to him by his friends. His favourite things are liquor and whores, cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna and liquor and whores. The characters engage in many crimes including bootlegging, stealing car stereos, growing and selling dope, opening up an illegal nightclub in the park, selling stolen gasoline, and stealing barbecues.
edit Main Characters
- The Rum Swilling Julian: The only character to own his own home. The other two characters live in his yard. One in a car and the other in a shed. Wears a tight black t-shirt and is called "Sexian" by Mr. Lahey.
- The Foul Mouthed and Pot Smoking Ricky: Lives in his car, smokes a lot of dope, and bears a striking resemblance to some guy called Reveen. Known for malapropisms, Ricky screws up even simple expressions, saying things such as "Worst case Ontario" and "Supply and Command". Ricky says Bubbles passed his road test with "Flying Carpets". Despite his intellectual failings, Ricky is a master horticulturist and is an expert at talking his way out of trouble. One of his favourite tricks when he is pulled over by the cops is the "Do you know Jim?" trick because everyone knows someone named Jim. When the cops show up at one of the boys' illegal schemes, Ricky usually says it was him who called them and the cops usually buy it. One time when the cops had a warrant to search Ricky's dad's house for dope, Ricky changed the numbers on the house and the street signs.
- The Googley Eyed Bastard Bubbles: Lives in his shed on Julian's property with his cats. Steals shopping carts from the mall and sells 'em to other malls to make a living. Claims it isn't stealing because most of the money goes back into the store for cat food anyways.
edit Supporting Characters
- Mr. Lahey: Always drunk as fuck, a former cop who was kicked off the force for being a drunk & delusional bastard. His ex-wife, Barb, owns the trailer park, and Lahey "polices" it for her. Likes to make life hell for our three main characters because their illegal activities offend his police sensitivities.
- Barb Lahey: Jim Lahey's ex-wife and owner of the trailer park. Once engaged to the greasy cave man Sam Losco, was also involved with Ricky. Unlike Randy and Mr. Lahey, she doesn't really give a shit what the boys do.
- Randy: Former male prostitute who is Mr. Lahey's lover and "temporary relief assistant trailer park supervisor." Called "Cheeseburger Walrus" because of his love of cheeseburgers, which is displayed by his huge and always shirtless gut. Once rode a bike over top an inflatable "dirty" burger in promotion for his and phil's multi-hundred dollar corporation: Dirty burger. His attempts to cook for Barb and Jim have been a conflict, for he was too worked up on dope to hold the pot of boiling water. In an attempt to remove the chicken strips from the stove, he fucks up and quotes "aww MOOSE BALLS"
- Lucy: Ricky's former significant other, a cute but annoyingly whiny and somewhat skanky blonde. Ricky's frequent attempts to get back together with her are complicated by her continuing lust for Julian, for whom she makes a mistletoe belt buckle one Christmas.
- Sarah: Lucy's best friend. A cute red-head who is possibly the sanest and most stable person in the trailer park as well as the most attractive. Seldom shows up unless it's to explain some back-story element.
- Shitty: Like Pigpen in Charlie Brown. Makes vocalizations like an old hillbilly that can't speak English or anything else though it might be French. Must have throat cancer. Collects metal. Used as a driver on some of the capers.
- Trinity: Ricky and Lucy's daughter. Once accidentally shot Ricky in the ass.
- Ray: Ricky's dad. Fakes a disability and gets checks for it until he is busted near the end of the game. Ray used to be a trucker and throws high velocity piss jugs around the park. He likes getting drunk, reading the Bible, and playing VLTs.
- Cory and Trevor: Two rather stupid young adults, the "dick chicklets". Used as scapegoats by Ricky and Julian when something goes wrong. Julian manages them with dog-training techniques and refers to them as one entity. Cory and Trevor, aka "the twiggly twins", open up their own "convenients" store near the end of the game. Ricky steals cigarettes from this store.
- JRoc: A white wannabe rapper who thinks he's black. JRoc produces his own rap CDs and adult videos.
- Officer George Green: Lahey's former partner when he was on the force. Lahey always calls him when the boys do something illegal but the boys can usually talk their way out of it or there is just simply no evidence. Was caught by Ricky in a sexually compromising position with Lucy.
- Officer Ted Johnson: An excruciatingly clean-cut cop who is occasionally called to deal with Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles when Mr. Lahey and Randy cannot. Late in the game, he appears to develop a romantic relationship with Randy, which is revealed when Randy stumbles out of Officer Ted's cruiser clad in nothing but his tighty-whities.
- Cyrus: Ricky and Julians nemesis. He drives around in a red corvette with more grease in his hair than the infamous Walter Young. He often pulls his gun on you if you insult his authority and was one respected by a father, who is considered a fucking prick. But beware, safety, ALWAYS OFF.
- Terry and Dennis: A pair of Japanese-Canadian brothers. Called the flappy-bird brothers by Bubbles they are known to roam around the house in housecoats with their units hanging out. As mentioned earlier, they work with Cyrus selling hash.
- Mario: A Polish-Sicilian dude who conducts weird experiments in his trailer, & rarely goes out unless he's getting more crap for his experiments.
- Phil Collins: Friend of Mr. Lahey and Randy. Perhaps the most feared badass in the game, his belch attack will drain your body armor and health from 20 feet of radius. His onion fragments attack has pissed off bubbles in previous versions of the game, Philadelphia was removed from previous games due to constant belching during voice recording. He works as a cab driver, a greasy hotel owner, and Lahey's paving assistant. Phil is known for his huge gut, one that rivals Randy's, Phil makes many appearances in the last half of the game. Randy and Philadelphia opened up a multi-hundred dollar corporation: Dirty Burger.
- Weissman: A Vietnam veteran who is normally nice & hard-working, but often goes crazy due to flashbacks about the war. Friend to Ray.
- Sam Losco: A greasy cave-man who used to be a veterinarian. Now runs his own paving company.
- Jacob Collins: Phil Collins twiggy alien son, resembles Trevor. Tries to act like Julian and hangs around with two twiggy aliens.
- Thomas Collins: Phil Collins other son, called the "Son of the Mustard Tiger" by Bubbles. Unlike Jacob whose on the boys' side, Thomas is something like Randy and always tries to fuck up the boys plans.
- 1987 Chevrolet Corvette: Julian's car at the start of the game. One of the best cars in the game, excellent at escaping the cops.
- 1992 Ford Bronco: Julian's car after he gets out of prison for the first time in the game. Seized under the proceeds of crime once he goes back to jail again
- 1980 Chevrolet Corvette: Another excellent car. Julian uses it after getting out of jail for the second time.
- 2003 Ford Mustang: Another one of Julian's vehicles.
- 2005 Chevrolet Corvette: Seriously, how many Corvettes does this game NEED, man? Anyway, this is Cyrus' ride. Mario has been quoted as saying that his Trans Am could smoke it, though he hasn't tried to do so yet.
- 1987 Chevrolet Monte Carlo: Terry and Dennis' car, it has spinning rims. Julian claims he would never be seen in a car like that let alone drive it. He later steals it along with Terry and Dennis' hash. Near the end of the game, Jacob and the Alien Trevors crash it into a lake somewhere in New Brunswick.
- 1977 Chrysler Newport aka The Shitmobile: Ricky's car and home. Claims he has the right to drink alcohol in it because it is his home. Tells the judge "You wouldn't charge someone with open liquor if they drank in their house would you?".
- 1976 Chrysler New Yorker: Mr. Lahey's car. Ricky sometimes steals it when he breaks the law so if things don't work out, Lahey will take the blame.
- Go-Kart: Bubbles' main mode of transportation. Ricky gives it to him as a gift after the harvest of the first marijuana crop.
- 1978 Pontiac Trans Am: Mario's car. Despite the fact that Mario rarely goes out, he keeps this baby well-maintained. It has a wicked cool paint job, too. Mario has been quoted as saying that it could smoke Cyrus' ride.
- Dodge M-37 Power Wagon: Weissman's truck. Equipped with heavy-duty armor plating & a Browning .50 caliber machine gun, just in case. You can have another guy manning the gun in the back.
- Driving Around In a Car with No Door on it, around the Fucking *Neighborhood, and elsewhere, stealing Barbecues
- Selling ripped off CDs for JRoc to the Trailer Park Residents
- Stealing Christmas Trees and selling them to people in the park
- Driving Bubbles' cats to the vet.
- Casino Taxi Missions
- Peeing off the 'wave'
- Barbecue fetch
- Sneaking into the Metro Centre through the sewer system
- Robbing the Grocery Store
- Stealing barbeques and selling them at the flea market while avoiding the police
- Fending off mall security guards while Bubbles steals shopping carts
- Having wrestling matches against Mr. Lahey and Randy
- Escaping from the police with the dope trailer
- Bootlegging Vodka and Hiding it From the Police in a Swimming Pool
- Shooting an adult video at JRoc's
- Getting supplies for Mario's experiments.
- Participating in some of Mario's experiments.
- Breaking into the school and putting hash into the lockers
- Stealing the hash off Terry, Dennis, and Cyrus.
- Taking Ray's High Velocity Piss Jugs to the dump.
- Opening up an erotic massage parlour and using Cory and Trevor as masseuses when there aren't enough ladies to go around.
- Going on a rampage with Weissman's truck.
- Stealing gas that's highly illegal.
- Hiding hash by paving it into a driveway
- After beating the game, you unlock a mini game called "Hash Hockey"
- After beating "Hash Hockey" You get the credits which have nothing to do with this game. AND THE MUSIC SUCKS! It sucks I tell you!
- Try to marry lucy, while avoiding getting arrested.
- Sneaking marijuana across the US border in exchange for cigarettes