User:UNmarine777/Kewl Kids Klan
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Kewl Kids Klan(Formerly Cool Cidz Clan) was a notorious middle school clan//gang/club of West Viewpoint Middle School from 2000 to 2012.One of the last members was Marcus "Caesar" Cardenas
edit Formation and Origins
Originally forming back when West Viewpoint was a K-8 school.During the beginning of Kindergarten 5 year old Joe "mama" Wilis and 5 year old Jose " Vendetta" Solois became classmates and eventually friends.They started a club called Cool Cidz Club since they where just the two of them they rushed to get friends.Eventually getting 3 classmates in to the group by bribing them with G.I Joes and Transformers action figures.Half way through the year they have already enlisted 4 more kids into there club.The group flourished through 2nd and 3rd grade with 15 kids in there group including there first girl.Joe and Jose were proud of this.The group did activities like riding the see-saw or looking at the dinosaur book.To join you either had to ride The swings closed ( The Swings closed:Riding the swings backwards with your eyes closed).In fourth Grade to the group started to do major changes first of all the clans base of operations The Jungle Gym was being taken over by a rising group called Sharks.So they moved there base to giant oak tree with the little jungle gym.This angered many of the clan members because they lost access to the Big Slide and the Monkey Bars and forcing them farther away from the water fountain.By 5th grade the group splintered and fell apart after Joe and Jose argued about who should be it in a game of Tag.Well trying to rebuild a drastic change happened at the school.
In Sixth grade Principal Harris Cockhard announced that the school will become 6-8th grade only due to lack of Middle Schools in the district forcing 2/3rds of the students to relocate to other campuses.Luckily Jose and Joe remained but the others moved leaving 5 left.After there first week they changed there name to the Kewl Kids Klan or KKK and using a white sheet ghost with a torch/cross as there logo/Mascot to represent the fear they put into people similar to that of a ghost with a flaming cross.The KKK began to rise back to power when Jose asked three new kids to join there group.after 5 weeks the group grew to 25 members.As they rebuild there reputation the Sharks unaffected by the grade change rose to power.The KKK saw this as a threat so they send there diplomats to the Sharks asking them to join they group ,but the Sharks refused to submit.Leaving the KKK outmatched and outnumbered.
edit Contraband Trade
Principal Cockhard declared that Gum,candy,and "Colored" Bears illegal (Colored Bears:Known through the halls as ghetto bears due to there infusion of kool-aid and over the counter gummibears.)The KKK found a calling 5% of the kids became smugglers,10% became dealers the rest became soldiers and guards.One of the elite of the KKK was known as Lil Stevey for obvious reasons he sold ghetto bears like a Jewish drug dealer at a drug convention.One day Lil Stevey was out selling 5-gum and some candy until one the shark enforcers caught him on there turf and decided to followed him back to " the source "(The source:base camp,Base,or Base of Operations where clans keep there contraband) where the KKK kept all there contraband and skilled smugglers.Unfortunately that day the KKK received a mass shipment of Bears and Gum from many sources..Losing all there key personel and contraband the KKK lost power.The Sharks how ever grew bigger and bigger as well as stronger.
The School officially started to notice the KKK as a threat to education and the safety of the students.So they started keeping track of the members.
edit Known Members
- President/CEO;Joe "Mama' Wilis: The leader of the group seen it all from the CCC to the KKK.
- Leader/Docter/Professor:Jose "Vendetta" Solois : The De Facto Leader of the group was a long time friend of Joe since the CCC.Jose was sentence to 1 hour ( 2nd period) in detention for handling contraband.His release date is 3rd period.
- Major: Lil Stevey:One of the groups chief smugglers.Got caught and led the staff back to base.was sentenced to 5 days in detention with Ms Hasty.
- Captain: Jack " Rabbit" Simpson:A primary lieutenant of the group known for handing test cheats to gain profit.
- Sergeant::Tyrone Jr:Known as Drybones by other clan memebers for his cold hearted bike-bys.Black guy of the group.
- Sergeant Major:Kevin "Kiev" <unknown>:A eastern European descendant who no one knows how to spell his last name I think it was Tratovsky or tratowsky?One of the groups soldiers.
- Lieutenant:Marcus"Caesar" Cardenas:A colored bear dealer and infamous soldier
- others include pvt:Michael Johnson,Cpl:Steve Castro and Specialist:Alex Pontiac throu not much is known about them.
edit War with the Sharks
The Sharks empire grown since spring 2005 with 35 members selling contraband.Whats left of the KKK gathered what they had and prepared for an assault against the Sharks during lunch break .The KKK devised a plan to engage to sharks to at least weaken them for future attacks.Fortunetly for the KKK Jose and Lil Stevey just got off from detention and brought six volunteers with them.12:01 the group quickly ate there food and preparing for the attack.As they make there move armed with rubberband pistols,Slingshot rifles,and small chunks of paper they engaged the sharks on foot .Little did they know that the Sharks had set up three lines of defense to counter any attacks from the Homptonites ( a rival gang forming back when the KKK first lost power).The plan failed miserably as the First barrier was heavily protected with small arms and slingshot motars.As they where about to retreat the Homptonites showed up to assist with attacking the sharks.The joint forces quickly took down the first barrier losing about 4 guys and 1 wounded.With the Sharks on the run back to the 2nd barrier and about to admit defeat the bell rung and everyone went back to class.Ms.Olga Warbuton was one of the worst teacher in the history of the universe she was known for her cruel punishments back in the eighties.1880s.Some even believe she gave Alexander the Great In-House Suspension.Sadly this was there next class.Ms Warbuton was partially deaf and needed a hearing aid for her hearing aid giving the KKK an advantage.They grabbed rudimentary weapons such as crumbled up pieces of papers and pencils to launch at there targets to systematically eliminate them.There first target where some shark Majors down in the front row.As they prepped there throw Ms Warbuton kept an eye out for these " potential conflicts".Under the cover of 100 year old math books they launched the paper ball at one of there first target where he suffered an agonizing humiliation.Ms Warbuton looked up and expelled the kid they had hit for 200 years.They quickly crumbled up another ball and threw it at there next target and effectively eliminating him as well as giving him 2 years of detention.As the KKK quickly crafted there ammunition one of the Sharks threw a notebook at the loaders face knocking him out of and hitting the paperball out of his hand all the way to the emo girls desks.Marcus unwillingly went up and asked the girl for the ball.Luckily she slit her hand so much she K-Oed on the spot.Marcus passed the ball to the loader as he reawaken from his near-death experience.As he turned around Ms Warbuton was behind him."What do you have to say for yourself young male!" said Ms Warbuton."Ummm just grabbing my pencil ma'am" and Marcus returned to his seat floating in his shoes.Barely avoiding capture the loader and Marcus launched the ball at the last targets in the front row ,but it deflected and hit Ms Warbuton's neck rolls!She turned around with her soulless demon eyes and surveyed all the possible targets.The Whole front row was given suspension for twenty-four weeks making it a huge victory for the KKK.
edit The Next Day
After 5th period ended the KKK/Homptonites where in fierce battle with the Sharks.Joe and Tyrone led the way for the rest of the group to follow put as more and more sharks came out Tyrone sacrificed himself so that the rest could fight.Poor Tyrone he got spit balled in his face.Joe met up with Kiev who was pinned by enemy fire.Out of options Joe grabbed two rubberband pistols and opened fire at the sharks hiting two of them.The Homptonites where getting shelled by a motar.Marcus and Vendetta sneaked around two shark soldiers and throwing a water bottle at the paper motar .Making it soggy.With nothing left to defend the 2nd barrier the KKK/Homptonites broke through it destroying the sharks last main defense.With little time to spare the KKK/Homptonites rushed the 3rd barrier destroying enemey backpack fortifications.Losing ground the Sharks evacuated key individuals .The staff came and broke up the war arresting all the combatants either placing them in detention or suspending them.Kiev and Marcus escaped with nothing left of the KKK.The sharks began to dissolve into nothing.
edit Whats left
Kiev and Marcus formed a loose clan called The Remnant to destroy whats left of the Sharks ,but there was nothing left to fight as the sharks broke apart too.Soon the school began hunting down anybody related to the KKK/Homptonites/Sharks and expelling them.Kiev and Marcus knew it wasn't save for them to stay in 3rd period so they begged there parents to switch classes.So Keiv and Marcus began to revitalize the KKK by selling Colored Bears unfortunetly Colored bears lost its value after the sharks fell.With a last ditch effort Marcus sold gum which was still in high demand.Over the next weeks more members joined bringing the KKK back onto the map eventually the Homptonites revitalized there clan.Marcus and Kiev got into standoffs about how there's nothing left to live for the KKK broke up years ago and Kiev was like we still got a chance to make it back tot he top and Marcus was like remember the old days and Kiev was like No.
edit The Last war
With the KKK making a fortune the Homptonites began to suspect that the KKK will try to assimilate The Homptonites in there group.So the Homptonites snitched on the KKK expelling all but Kiev,Marcus,and a small fraction of KKK remnants.The group went online and sent emails to other kids.Effectively spreading the KKK ways to other schools.The West Viewpoint School District has 5 Middle schools as of Spring 2006 3 of those schools are under KKK control the rest are under Homponite control.The former allies soon became began to hate each other.With the outcome coming clear.WAR! The Homtonites used Biological warfare or germ warfare something the KKK weren't prepared for and new little about.They sent a sick kid to each of there schools to try to sneeze on as much people as they can even if they where neutral in the conflict.After 5 days 209 kids got sick and The Homptonites fearing retaliation built a fortress in Viewpoint Park.The KKK quickly assembled a guerrilla-esque fighting force now armed with BB guns they bought at Walmart.The 500 Homptonites still armed with Shark-era weapons( slingshot based weapons) where outgunned and outmatch and surrendered with only 27 left the beaten Homptonites joined the KKK and two members of the KKK wounded.
edit The New KKK
The KKK now became the dominant clan in West Viewpoint city with 3,750 members it overwhelmed the Schools defenses and policing forces.Allowing them to accept the KKK way.After 6th grade came 7th grade where more members came.Also Kiev moved back to eastern Europe leaving Marcus as the last one of the original KKK members.As the 8th grade came the last remaining shark lieutenants started a querrilla war with the KKK ,but they failed as the KKK were too strong.With the Sharks return and demise The KKK feared that the sharks will unite with smaller clans and come back to power.so the KKK hunted down and eliminated any clans they saw as a potential threat even the nerd- ruled Book clan which fought valiantly with there home-made lightsabers.Then came High school.
edit High school
“We where the makers of our own demise.”
High school changed the KKK as the Middle school party wanted out of the KKK ,but the HIgh school party wanted them to stay in.This started a long dirty war between the Old KKK and the New KKK.after 2 weeks of fighting the KKK finally collapsed on its own weight.Rise-fall-rise-fall-rise-fall was the only thing Marcus knew about the KKK so he took a couple of his most loyal KKK members went off the grid to form the yet another KKK remnant the KKK underground.The once great Clan finally dissolved like the Sharks there former enemies.The schools began to retake control of the campuses.Luckily The KKK underground flourished with the selling of Gum.Until an unknown combatant clan called "The Enlightened Ones" allied with the West Viewpoint JROTC military cadets who hunted down most of the KKK underground.
edit After High School
The final chapter of the KKK has ended with the KKK dissolving and the civil wars that remained created separate former KKK clans called the Squid Club,Nexus,Europa Colony and the New Kool Kids. as well as may more .Officially the KKK tried reuniting these clans ,but failed and the KKKU dissolved and was officially over.Not even the last remnant of the KKK could stand any longer KKK Underground fell to because gum was no longer banned as it makes you concentrate more on test making it useless to smuggle this into school." Its over".Said Marcus one of the last members of the original KKK and the KKKU as a whole."Its Over".