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Happy Meal · The Big Mac · I Lovin' It · Nutrition Facts · Order · Dollar Meal

Value Meals · Edible Ingrediants · Menu

Today's Value Meal


The McDonald's is an international temple-chain where worshippers put sandwiches made of "meat" and "bread" to the altar and let the robed priests disassemble these foods and put each food components into a refrigerator. Only by making foods return to their original status, can they please Ronald McDonald, the God who created the franchise.

McDonalds is also the name for a terrorist organisation whose purpose is to ruthlessly slaughter young children by feeding them McPoison.

A little known mom and pop's in western Indiana , McDonald's is hailed the world around for its heart-friendly diet and secret "meat" in its chicken nuggets (coincidentally, which a North Korean once told me tasted suspiciously similar to German Shepherd) . The most common given name among the employees is Topeka and Pippi. Another strange coincidence is the McDonalds locations with petting zoos as play areas, which has animals constantly rotated. supersize...

Did You McKnow...

  • ...that Ronald McDonald is watching you?
  • ...that Ronald McDonald has more power than Oprah?
  • ...that McGwax likes McDonald's?
  • ...that George Bush has connections with the McDonald Empire?
  • ...that your mom is doing Ronald McDonald right this minute?
  • ...that Al Roker consumes Value Meals every hour, on the hour?
  • ...that Al Roker shits said Value Meals every hour, on the hour?
  • ...that even Jesus can't resist the occasional Happy Meal?
  • ...that I'm going to McHell for saying that?


  • Pickle shortage at McDonald's restaurants, resulting in a total of fifteen order screw-ups.
  • Ronald McDonald arrested for selling dope to kids, McDonald says that he would do it again.
  • Ronald McDonald's Activation Station found to contain subliminal messaging. Subliminal messages include "Eat my shit" and "Suck my McCock.
  • George W. Bush chokes on his Happy Meal toy. The president will be spending the next couple of days in intensive care.

On this McDay...


McMarch 28: National Bow Down to Ronald McDonald Day

  • 1939: Ronald McHitler begins world conquest.
  • 1942: The McEmpire develops the potent and highly addictive sweet and sour sauce with its original name, "Soße, die sowohl Süße als auch Säure ist und die Erde versklaven wird".
  • 1943: World gains 28lbs as a result of too many McNuggets dipped in the sweet and sour sauce.
  • 1945: McLard® is added to the menu. Millions gorge.
  • 1948: Ronald McDonald enslaves the western hemisphere.
  • 1968: The Big Mac is introduced. Eastern hemisphere submits.
  • 2005: The Bush Administration launches attack on the McEmpire.
  • 2005: George Bush enters local McDonald's establishment with the intent of purchasing one Happy Meal.

Today's Featured McPicture


McDonalds shows the public how its sandwiches look much better in real life than on T.V.

Image McCredit: Loke
McArchive - Nominate new McImage

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.

Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!

It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You now only have 3, goddamnit 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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