User:Trar/old userpage
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This is my old userpage, dating from a few years back. It's a horrible, embarrassing mess, and it serves as a reminder of just how far someone can take their userpage and run it into the ground. Good thing I came to my senses before the page reached critical mass.
is my anti-drug
You can give the gift of humor by donating to
Uncyclomedia Trar's Time Machine Fund!
Tax-deductibility of donations
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If you want to read Trar's Userpage, you must read The Copyright Disclaimer Fine Print first:(you don't have to)Keep all guards and shields in place. Batteries not included. Offer void where prohibited by law. Allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. Do not light near face. Slippery when wet. Keep fingers and toes away from moving parts. Objects may be closer than they appear. Read and understand the owner's manual. Some assembly required. If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. The white zone is for loading and unloading only. Parental guidance advised. No user serviceable parts. Packaging may smother children. Keep left. Do not remove this tag. Hearing protection must be worn. May cause severe burns. Euphemisms are for the differently-brained. Not suitable for human consumption. Caveat nausem. It is forbidden to piss into the wind. Shuttlecraft should not exceed warp 7.5. May cause anal leakage. Management is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. You will not suffocate if elevator stalls. My cat's breath smells like cat food. Tighten belts monthly. Consult your doctor if symptoms persist. Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me. Product may differ from illustration. Insert TAB A into SLOT B. Clean your room. This is not the luggage tag specified by the Geneva convention. Side effects may include mild to moderate death or coma. Prosecutors will be violated. Bridge out. This spot reserved for general manager. Tow away strictly enforced. High voltage - Do not open. Pie may be hot. Breaking seals voids warranty. Line forms here. Do not feed the trolls. Contains scenes of graphic violence, full-penetration sexuality, and fuzzy bunnies - Viewer discretion advised. May contain
testiclesnuts. If the wind changes, your face will be stuck like that. Do not apply to or near mucous membranes. Trucks must report when lights flashing. No refund on anally-fitted rodents. Check your weapons at the door. Political incorrectness is strictly encouraged. Remove before flight. This page intentionally left blank. Gusty winds may exist. WARNING! LARK'S VOMIT! May explode if inserted incorrectly. Causes ebola in cockroaches. You'll put somebody's eye out with that thing. Change filter bag when full. Don't look down. Fat chicks need love too. Check pattern buffer before operating transporter. Don't make me angry. . . You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Start brain before engaging mouth. The doctor said you'd get fewer nosebleeds if you'd just keep your fingers out of there. Replace only with fuse of same type. Warp drive should not be engaged in space-dock. That's the one thing I could never stomach about Santa Carla: All the damn vampires. No one will notice this line. I am the one who all your base are belong to. Ho! Aha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! Kingdom of Loathing! This template not for internal use.
Minitrue mark user doubleplusungood crimethink. Miniluv remake goodthink fullwise.
(This user has been determined by the Ministry of Truth to be of a highly criminal and fallacious nature, and the Ministry of Love is working to ameliorate any harm done by him and the falsehoods below.)
| This user smells funny ...and has |
| This user has Userboxitis! You can help by searching for the cure. |
| This Userpage has Userboxitis! If it goes under 20 Userboxes, IT WILL EXPLODE!! You can help Uncyclopedia by making it explode. |
| This user may be Overly American. Brits may not understand his humor, only their humour. Don't change a thing to remedy this. |
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You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios. Apparently you are "notable". Don't ask me why; I think you're lame. |
| THIS USER DOES NOT NEED MORE COWBELL!
STOP STOP STOP NOW! |
| THIS USER NEEDS MORE GROG!
GO GO GO NOW! |
| Member of the Order of Uncyclopedia This person has successfully registered on Uncyclopedia. They should be proud of themselves for making such a smart move. |
| If you are offended by this article, consider killing a Hell Hound instead! |
 | Random Elvis Sighting In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting. The King has left the building. |
 Member of the Order |
“Since Trar forgot to put up that warning poster, I will:”Template:Awilde
“Oooh...shiny colors and flashy pictures......”
“Seriously, what is that kid ON!?”
“Huh?”
“I grant Benson a full apology. However, I still don't like him.I am a strong Anti-Bensonite now. Watch out, Benson!”
“What?”
“Trar, may the QuickVFD be with you.”
“Is time travel possible?”
“No.”
“Trar has glasses.”
“DUH!!! I HATE YOU, JUST LIKE OSCAR WILDE!!!!”
“Oh, what a coincidence!”
“IT'S NO COINCIDENCE!”
“He is very angry at me!”
“DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Heil!”
“Shit!”
“He is most definitely CRIMETHINK. He is our greatest enemy, and must be vanquished!”
“I AM NOT CRIMETHINK!”
“Fuck you!”
“Totemize him!”
“I think that's enough quotes now.”
| trar | |
|---|---|
What Trar Looks Like: 
| |
| Real Name: Call me whatever you like. | |
| Age: Cheese. | |
| Gender: MALE, BITCH! | |
| Member since: 17:56, 26 December 2006 (we're not really sure though) | |
| Weight/Mass: It's embarassing! | |
| Occupation: Slave | |
| Status: Dead | |
| Favourite Article: No favorite have I. Okay, I admit, Nihilism is pretty close. | |
| Least Favorite Uncyclopedia In-joke: None. | |
| Weapon of Choice: Depending on the situation, it would have to be either a bad-ass quarter gun, a toy ray gun, or a battle rifle. | |
| Insult Swordfighting Level: Huh? What's insult swordfighting??????? | |
| Favorite Game: | |
| How Cool Is Trar?: Infinitely cooler than <insert name here>. | |
| Infobox | |
 CONGRATULATIONS!If you made it through all those templates and quotes, you're a trooper.
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Welcome to Trar's Userpage!
I was M0000ARG11S, and not proud of it.
I have joined the The Grue Army, and you may now refer to me as
Sir(Braydie said i'm not a sir) Trar, Soldier of The Grue Army, Red Squadron
Oh yeah, I also play Kingdom of Loathing now. If you want to find me, my ID number is #1334618, I am a Turtle Tamer under the name Trar(that's my Internet alias), and no, i'm not selling you my fuckin' awesome custom outfit.
Curious about my custom outfit? If you want to see it THAT BAD, register a profile on KoL and try to find a player whose ID is #1334618 and whose username is Trar. That's me, and my custom outfit is listed on my profile page. Trust me, it's awesome! Don't worry, KoL is set up so you can't spend a huge amount of time on it(unless you're careful), and if you don't like it, your profile is deleted if it's inactive for 60 days.
^^^^Whoo! There! I hope you got the message!^^^^
I can even be found on Xbox Live. My Gamertag is, you guessed it, Trar!(oh i am so overreactive, aren't i?)
I've discovered IRC, and its wonderful magic abilities. Funny things can happen there, as seen in the following transcripts:
<UNKNOWNFILE> Carps <Trar> Are fish, and when hickory-smoked, taste good.
Every day, at least one person will be killed. Today a person has died by way of being
given the toxic marshmallow.
Currently working on Game:Grueslayer and would appreciate volunteers. Game:Grueslayer is found at the ending of The Abyss.
Try this if you can't beat The Abyss by yourself.
YES, I DID CREATE IT MYSELF!
Contents |
edit The Story Of How Trar Came To Be!
Trar "He Doesn't Have A Last Name" Sr. (or Jr., his birth files are actually hentai crap) was born on a 'whim', as most overused, cliched Uncyclopedia celebrities would say. His early childsh00d is blurry, so we'll skip that. (he probably was in planning.......muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Trar once went to the beach, and after a severe sunburn, got BLOBS OF SALINE ALL OVER HIM! EWWWWW! (true story)
(dear god kill me now, that was a link to a WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE!)
Trar eventually found a Sega Genesis in a dumpster and contracted Ebola. The Ebola part is pointless, so Chuck Norris cured him. However, the Genesis changed his life.....
By introducing him to video games!
Also, Trar admits this biography sucks ass.
INTERMISSION-THIS ARTICLE IS BORING!
The Free Imperial Republic of Stoner High School | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| |||
| Anthem: "Dudes of Stoner" | |||
| Capital | Student Union Building (SUB) | ||
| Official language(s) | English | ||
| Government | |||
| ‑ Head of State/Government | Her Majesty Queen Tiffany IV, Class of 2011 | ||
| Declaration of Independence |
October 5th, 1980 | ||
| Currency | Extra Credit Point (EC#) | ||
| Religion | Georgianism and Alcoholism | ||
| Official substance | Kittens | ||
| GDP per capita | 14.3 million extra credit points ($1,986,111 USD) | ||
| Average GPA | 4.0 | ||
| Average BAC | 0.09 [1] | ||
| Average SAT | 2320 (new), 1337 (old) | ||
| Official animal | Palestinian Rat | ||
| Official vegetable | Cabbage | ||
| Official mineral | Petroleum | ||
| Official number | 420 | ||
“By far, de greatest schule in this great Schtate of Kuhllifornia.”
“At Stoner High School, students expel YOU!”
“DUDE! The drum solo from "In the Air Tonight" is FUCKING EPIC!”
Stoner High School (also known as "SHS", "Stoner High", "The ProcrastiNation", "The Stoner Imperium", or simply "Stoner") is an independent wholly student-pwned and operated high school in Fockersville, California. From a dark, tortured past, Stoner High School has emerged to become a shining beacon of hope, justice, and unrivaled fun for oppressed students worldwide. As feared by the educational bureaucracy as it is loved by that bureaucracy's victims, the school epitomizes the absolute perfection of the secondary school system in pretty much every way.[3] It is one of the largest and most successful high schools in the nation, thanks to its unique form of governance, libertarian economic and social policies, fearsome military and damn good beer. SHS's astoundingly high endowments of human and natural capital have also allowed it to project global military, economic and political power at a level befitting its de facto status as a modern industrial nation-state.[4] Further information is available via the links below.
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1. Home |
8. Geography |
edit References
- ↑ Though it appears low, this average reflects the BAC of all students at all times. Since it is an unfortunate reality that nearly all students are sober for at least several hours a day (particularly while unable to consume more alcohol as a result of being asleep), it must be considered that average BAC among awake students is higher than this figure, and BAC among students not in class is still higher. The distribution is decidedly skewed to the extreme ends of the spectrum, with the standard deviation of the BAC being approximately 0.69.
- ↑ For more quotes, please visit the quotes section.
- ↑ Focker, et al. (2006) A History of Stoner High School.
- ↑ CIA World Factbook, 2008 (classified edition).
 Featured Article (read another featured article)
| Featured version: 2 April 2008 |
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
| |
We now return to our regularly scheduled jokes, already in progress....
Thus Trar is an expert THIS HAS BEEN CENSORED, B1TCH!!!!!!!!! HAVE A F*****G F1ELD DAY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, but we don't know how.
THEN Trar stumbled upon The Internet, then Wikipedia, then Uncyclopedia, then M0000ARG11S, and now Trar!
Trar is currently wanted by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (the FBI) and the Police for illegal use of Userboxes.
And for his illegally owned pet Grue. If you see him, contact the cops IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or the Queen Of Hearts. Or this guy, whichever comes first.
The following is a message from the local hippie group: We must save the Maine page!
Recently, Trar has broken his addiction to Cowbell.
edit Trar's Creations
(featued articles are in italics)
edit What Trar Likes
- Reading the block logs
- Editing and reading Uncyclopedia
- Reading Wikipedia (when I feel like doing research)
- Video games
- Lucky Charms!
- Mexican food
- Custard
- Censors
edit What Trar Dislikes
- His parents
- His brother
- 1337 5P34K
edit Happy Chairman Award
| Happy Chairman Award Bloody marvelous! Happiness abound in readings of you. Laughing Chairman Mao giving you award from Trar for special contribute of funny to Uncyclopedia!!
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Recently, Trar has been giving this award out to users who contribute content that Trar finds funny.
Or just because Trar likes the recipent user.
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edit External Links
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