User:Trar/old userpage

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This is my old userpage, dating from a few years back. It's a horrible, embarrassing mess, and it serves as a reminder of just how far someone can take their userpage and run it into the ground. Good thing I came to my senses before the page reached critical mass.


The one and only....Trar!

(even on Uncyclopedia my Internet alias still dazzles all)

Hold on!
If you want to read Trar's Userpage, you must read The Copyright Disclaimer Fine Print first:
(you don't have to)

Keep all guards and shields in place. Batteries not included. Offer void where prohibited by law. Allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. Do not light near face. Slippery when wet. Keep fingers and toes away from moving parts. Objects may be closer than they appear. Read and understand the owner's manual. Some assembly required. If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. The white zone is for loading and unloading only. Parental guidance advised. No user serviceable parts. Packaging may smother children. Keep left. Do not remove this tag. Hearing protection must be worn. May cause severe burns. Euphemisms are for the differently-brained. Not suitable for human consumption. Caveat nausem. It is forbidden to piss into the wind. Shuttlecraft should not exceed warp 7.5. May cause anal leakage. Management is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. You will not suffocate if elevator stalls. My cat's breath smells like cat food. Tighten belts monthly. Consult your doctor if symptoms persist. Don't stand, don't stand so, don't stand so close to me. Product may differ from illustration. Insert TAB A into SLOT B. Clean your room. This is not the luggage tag specified by the Geneva convention. Side effects may include mild to moderate death or coma. Prosecutors will be violated. Bridge out. This spot reserved for general manager. Tow away strictly enforced. High voltage - Do not open. Pie may be hot. Breaking seals voids warranty. Line forms here. Do not feed the trolls. Contains scenes of graphic violence, full-penetration sexuality, and fuzzy bunnies - Viewer discretion advised. May contain testicles nuts. If the wind changes, your face will be stuck like that. Do not apply to or near mucous membranes. Trucks must report when lights flashing. No refund on anally-fitted rodents. Check your weapons at the door. Political incorrectness is strictly encouraged. Remove before flight. This page intentionally left blank. Gusty winds may exist. WARNING! LARK'S VOMIT! May explode if inserted incorrectly. Causes ebola in cockroaches. You'll put somebody's eye out with that thing. Change filter bag when full. Don't look down. Fat chicks need love too. Check pattern buffer before operating transporter. Don't make me angry. . . You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Start brain before engaging mouth. The doctor said you'd get fewer nosebleeds if you'd just keep your fingers out of there. Replace only with fuse of same type. Warp drive should not be engaged in space-dock. That's the one thing I could never stomach about Santa Carla: All the damn vampires. No one will notice this line. I am the one who all your base are belong to. Ho! Aha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust! Kingdom of Loathing! This template not for internal use.

Okay, now on with the userpage....

Corvette This user smells funny

...and has been awarded been given got a new car smell-scented air freshener.

Caternest You have been cited in Uncyclopedian Bios.
Apparently you are "notable".
Don't ask me why; I think you're lame.





News-hindie If you are offended by this article, consider going away instead!

Template:Really Random Sighting

Member of the Order
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
For those who are easily amused, Uncyclopedia has a totally unrelated article about: Arecibo Message

Did you know...
...that Trar is not addicted to Cowbell anymore????

“Since Trar forgot to put up that warning poster, I will:”
~ Oscar Wilde

“Oooh...shiny colors and flashy pictures......”
~ You on Trar's Userpage

“Seriously, what is that kid ON!?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Trar

~ Trar on Euroipods

I grant Benson a full apology. However, I still don't like him. I am a strong Anti-Bensonite now. Watch out, Benson!”
~ Trar on Benson

~ Master Chief Petty Officer SPARTAN-117 on being quoted

“Trar, may the QuickVFD be with you.”
~ Braydie on vanity articles and malicious user page edits

“Is time travel possible?”
~ Oscar Wilde on time travel

~ God on Oscar Wilde's statement above

“Trar has glasses.”
~ Captain Obvious on Trar

~ Trar on Captain Obvious

“Oh, what a coincidence!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Trar hating Captain Obvious

~ Trar on Oscar's statement above

“He is very angry at me!”
~ Captain Obvious on the debate above

~ Trar on the statement above

~ Trar on his parents

~ Trar on The Thought Police coming to arrest him, since they think he is CRIMETHINK

“He is most definitely CRIMETHINK. He is our greatest enemy, and must be vanquished!”
~ Big Brother on Trar


“Fuck you!”
~ Trar on Big Brother

“Totemize him!”
~ The Inquisition on Trar

“I think that's enough quotes now.”
~ Famine on Trar's quotes

What Trar Looks Like: Gslayer
Real Name: Call me whatever you like.
Age: Cheese.
Gender: MALE, BITCH!
Member since: 17:56, 26 December 2006 (we're not really sure though)
Weight/Mass: It's embarassing!
Occupation: Slave
Status: Dead
Favourite Article: No favorite have I. Okay, I admit, Nihilism is pretty close.
Least Favorite Uncyclopedia In-joke: None.
Weapon of Choice: Depending on the situation, it would have to be either a bad-ass quarter gun, a toy ray gun, or a battle rifle.
Insult Swordfighting Level: Huh? What's insult swordfighting???????
Favorite Game: Zork Crackdown Grueslayer Kingdom of Loathing!
How Cool Is Trar?: Infinitely cooler than <insert name here>.
Infobox ripped off legally taken from AAA! This message added by AAA himself.

If you made it through all those templates and quotes, you're a trooper.

Welcome to Trar's Userpage!

I was M0000ARG11S, and not proud of it.

I have joined the The Grue Army, and you may now refer to me as

Grue JammySir(Braydie said i'm not a sir) Trar, Soldier of The Grue Army, Red SquadronGrue Jammy

Join today!

Oh yeah, I also play Kingdom of Loathing now. If you want to find me, my ID number is #1334618, I am a Turtle Tamer under the name Trar(that's my Internet alias), and no, i'm not selling you my fuckin' awesome custom outfit.

Curious about my custom outfit? If you want to see it THAT BAD, register a profile on KoL and try to find a player whose ID is #1334618 and whose username is Trar. That's me, and my custom outfit is listed on my profile page. Trust me, it's awesome! Don't worry, KoL is set up so you can't spend a huge amount of time on it(unless you're careful), and if you don't like it, your profile is deleted if it's inactive for 60 days.


^^^^Whoo! There! I hope you got the message!^^^^

I can even be found on Xbox Live. My Gamertag is, you guessed it, Trar!(oh i am so overreactive, aren't i?)

I've discovered IRC, and its wonderful magic abilities. Funny things can happen there, as seen in the following transcripts:

<UNKNOWNFILE> Carps <Trar> Are fish, and when hickory-smoked, taste good.

Every day, at least one person will be killed. Today a person has died by way of being vomited up by a grue, then eaten again.

Currently working on Game:Grueslayer and would appreciate volunteers. Game:Grueslayer is found at the ending of The Abyss.

Try this if you can't beat The Abyss by yourself.



Barney is the source of children's television EVIL!!!! HE MUST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

edit The Story Of How Trar Came To Be!

Trar "He Doesn't Have A Last Name" Sr. (or Jr., his birth files are actually hentai crap) was born on a 'whim', as most overused, cliched Uncyclopedia celebrities would say. His early childsh00d is blurry, so we'll skip that. (he probably was in planning.......muahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
250px-Chandeleur L5 Oct2004Sep2005

Trar's former home before and after Hurrikane Katrina.

Trar once went to the beach, and after a severe sunburn, got BLOBS OF SALINE ALL OVER HIM! EWWWWW! (true story) (dear god kill me now, that was a link to a WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE!)

Trar eventually found a Sega Genesis in a dumpster and contracted Ebola. The Ebola part is pointless, so Chuck Norris cured him. However, the Genesis changed his life.....

By introducing him to video games!

Also, Trar admits this biography sucks ass.


Nuvola apps important blue "Beware of Flesh Eating Bovines"
Devour their flesh, before they devour yours!

Correction: you had two cows.

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Trar/old userpage.

You have two cows is the philosophical truth of the entire world.[1] All categories except Category Nine (How mooriginal) may contain contributions from the Internet as well as Uncyclopedia contributors. Mathematical proof that you have two cows lies in moometric identity:


This mathematical proof can also be written with the second moometric identity:


Where Moo is the universal moometric constant.

A long-standing tradition of mathematics has been the discovery of new truths pertaining to two-cow ownership. Currently, 45,893 45,894 45,895 45,896 45,897 45,898 45,899 45,900 two-cow truths are known. The complete list are given in the pages following. Nostradamus demonstrated in 1555 that the total number of two-cow truths is infinite.

A related but much more difficult problem is the identification of philosophical truths involving the ownership of three cows. An infinite number of these is also expected to exist, although this is unproven. To date, very few three-cow truths are known to exist, all of which have yet to be proven. In coming years this problem is expected to become much more important, as Microsoft has announced that the next version of Windows will require users to have three cows, or, alternatively, two overmilked ones. Linux however only needs a pint of milk, but you need to deliver the milk through the command prompt with the use of four pipes, an awk and a sed.

  1. Except Soviet Russia. In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!

Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!


1. Analysis
2. Anime
3. Bovine Quotes
4. Cowmedy
5. Emootions
6. Endings
7. Famous Cows
8. Groups

9. This cow does not exist
10. In the Moos
11. Language of Cows
12. Literature
13. Moosical Moovements
14. Moovies
15. Non-Video Games
16. People

17. Politicowl Junk
18. Programming Languages
19. Religion
20. Software 'n Such
21. Sound of Moo-sic
22. Television
23. Travel
24. Video Games

24.3. Video Games Volume 2
25. World and Web of Cows
26. You Have n Cows
27. Science
28. Moodicine
29. Game Consoles
30. Game Genres
31. Capitalism

“In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!”
~ Yakov Smirnoff on You have two cows

edit Related Articles

edit External links

What will happen to your two cows


Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 9 June 2005
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
<includeonly>Template:FA/09 June 2005Template:FA/2005</includeonly>

We now return to our regularly scheduled jokes, already in progress....

Thus Trar is an expert THIS HAS BEEN CENSORED, B1TCH!!!!!!!!! HAVE A F*****G F1ELD DAY MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, but we don't know how.

THEN Trar stumbled upon The Internet, then Wikipedia, then Uncyclopedia, then M0000ARG11S, and now Trar!

Trar is currently wanted by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (the FBI) and the Police for illegal use of Userboxes.

And for his illegally owned pet Grue. If you see him, contact the cops IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or the Queen Of Hearts. Or this guy, whichever comes first.

The following is a message from the local hippie group: We must save the Maine page!

Recently, Trar has broken his addiction to Cowbell.

edit Trar's Creations

(featued articles are in italics)

edit What Trar Likes

  • Reading Wikipedia (when I feel like doing research)
  • Video games
  • Lucky Charms!
  • Mexican food
  • Custard
  • Censors

edit What Trar Dislikes

Down with 1337

I ain't kidding about the 1337.

edit Happy Chairman Award

Recently, Trar has been giving this award out to users who contribute content that Trar finds funny.

Or just because Trar likes the recipent user.

edit My Userboxes

Z This user has found the Twenty Treasures of Zork and beaten Zork: The Great Underground Empire.

Z2 This user has united the Golden Egg of Arkora and beaten Zork 2: Gruel and Unusual Punishment.

Zork This user edits the Zork trilogy.
Grueslayer This user created Grueslayer.
Grueslayer This user edits Grueslayer.
Grueslayer This user is a Grueslayer implementor.
Grueslayer This user has been eaten by a grue in Grueslayer.

Grueslayer This user finished Grueslayer on easy mode. What a pathetic pansy.

Grueslayer This user finished Grueslayer on hard mode, and is worthy of the title of Grueslayer!

Grueslayer This user slays grues in his/her sleep.

Grueslayer This user likes to play Grueslayer PvP.

ABYSS This user has survived the wretched dark place we call The Abyss.

A x2 This user is lucky to have survived going through the Grue-infested pit we call The Abyss more than once.

ABYSS x?,??? This user IS The Abyss.

Abyss This user edits The Abyss.

TA This user believes that you can never have too many text adventures on Uncyclopedia.
[insert content here] This userbox is a filler, and therefore looks ugly.

Wiki This user uses Uncyclopedia as his or her primary point of reference.
no cowbell This user has broken his/her addiction to Cowbell! Long shall they live and prosper!

MEH This user redefines lazy.
MagicWand.jpg This user wishes they were an admin. Please grant them their wish.
Bananaseizure This user will give you a seizure.
... This user would be a professional procrastinator, but he or she can't be bothered.
Nuvola apps important This user hates you and everyone you care about.
Deadbarney3 This user believes Barney is evil and therefore must die.
1+ This user has over 1 edit. Duh!
This user gots a shuvel. Yes {{{1}}} does.
NO This user doesn't care.
This user is a boy and is made of slugs, snails and puppy dog tails.

Sign1 This user is a mutant.
BS This userpage is bullshit.
usb This user likes to use userboxes.

Usb! No, really!


RENT This space for rent.

Call 1-800-666-6666.

Firefox Logo This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.

Gefahrensymbol F This user is a pyromaniac.

Nuvola apps important orange This user should not be trusted.
US flag This user is American
...and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
Sad clown
This user is a member of the Uncyclopedia Departure of Fun.
Anti-Benson This user denounces BENSON.

Mario-lo-res This user is a Gamer and therefore creepy.
750px-High voltage warning.svg No user serviceable parts inside.

This user is right-handed.

In Latin they would be Dexter.

Numbersix This user is not a number, s/he is a free wo/man!
Eeek! This user steals userboxes from random people's user pages.
Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow meow meow meow! MEOW!
Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Ruff! Ruff Ruff! Arf! Arf!
Tursiops truncatus head Eeek ahk sque'ek uhk kkkk'k squeek!
OBN This user is invisible, <insert name here> sees You but you don't see him/her. Tee hee!!

? This user is anonymous. That is, numbskull, he or she doesn't want you to know who he or she is.
sub subliminal!
Villianc This user denies any involvement with the cabal. There is no cabal.
This user has a crapload of userboxes. To see more of them, go to nowhere.

Windows Logo This user uses Windows because he or she can't get enough of your lover.

The Worst Part of Censorship This *bleep* user likes to *bleep* the use of *bleep* *bleep* profanity *bleep*
typo-1 This use ris able to contribute with a babsic levle of Typo.
.sdrawkcab si resu sihT

!degnellahc-yllatnoziroh TON si resu sihT :etoN
Uncyclopedia elzzup otatop
Fortune cookie 20040628 223108 1 This user is being held hostage in a Chinese fortune cookie factory! We have lots of criminal lawyers. We just haven't convicted any yet. Help!
Crystal Clear app kcmdf This user likes to use redundant userboxes.
Napoleon4 This user is not and has never been Napoleon.
Popeeyebeams This user is a complete, irredeemable mouse. He/she/it is Bat Fuck Insane, and deceives at the mouse.
Shyny ub This user is easily distracted by anything shiny.
Earth This user can be found on the Uncyclopedia Frappr Map.
hey! The above wasn't my fault!

Temp This is a template userbox, to create userboxes from. Anyone with it on his/her page is clearly just looking for an excuse to have more Userboxes.
Potatohead aqua This user wants Reese's Peanut Butter Cup featured.

Color This user likes random colored userboxes.
Clown chili peppers This user fears the clowns.
Kid1 This user seriously needs to calm down.
Merc This user is a Mercenary and chooses their own wars to fight in.
bu-0 This user does not speak Bullet and may result in injury if does so.
MS-2 This user is able to contribute through speaking his mind at an intermediate level.
Canadian snowman This user is cooler than you.
Stop hand This user has been blocked once while he was an earlier user, namely, M0000ARG11S.
Brain This user's IQ is 109.

Monbags This user is POOR,

has never passed GO,

and never collected $200.00.

Ape This user is a member of the FUWAA Club. The Club that nobody cares about.
DramaticQuestionMark This user can also be found elsewhere on the internet.
Boredkid This user is a Registered User and they can upload images and move pages, whoopdie freakin doo.
no nj This user is not a Ninja, with no dominion over everything totally sweet.

SignLanguage This user understands American sign language.
UBX This user opposes other users screwing with his/her userboxes.
253951 photo Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring....BANANAPHONE!!!!

Head on

HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, apply directly to the forehead! HeadOn, available at Walgreens.

Grue Jammy This user has joined The Grue Army to help Uncyclopedia kill vandals, and help users. Please join today!

This user is better than BENSON, and is an Anti-BENSON-ite! Muahahaha!

Che santoru This user celebrates the recent unbanning of ∩int∑ndorul∑z. Now that he is longer banned, let us hope he will come home.
This user is a Golden User.
This space for rent.

No hammer and sickle This user is an

... and is unabashedly American!

BROTRR This user is a proud Rigist.

17-G This user does not speak 1337 and furthermore believes 1337 to be an embarrassment to language. This user desires genocide of all speakers of 1337.
us-N This user is a native speaker of American English.
Leftswordguy An adventurer is this user! He or she plays Kingdom of Loathing. His/her ID number in the game is #1334618.
Stop hand This user has been blocked 2 times as a current user, namely, Trar.
Bmup smaller This user is part of The Proofreading Service.

Spellingnazi This user is a spelling Nazi. Beware their grammarsteeq.

edit External Links

Barney is evil!

Make your own signs!

253951 photo Not Cream of the Crap
This article is not and will not be one of the Top 10 articles of 2005, 2006, 2007, and beyond(ish).
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